Enzo kept me with him all night and half of the next day. The only reason we got out of bed was to shower or use the bathroom. He only left me once while I was dozing to bring us some wine and leftovers from dinner so I wouldn’t be hungry.
And through it all, he reminded me who I belonged to, both with his words and his body, until I stopped trying to deny it. To deny him. And he was right. What was the point? I’d only be lying.
“Don’t you have to work?” I asked him. He was wrapped around me, his front to my back, his cock still inside of me as he lazily stroked my hip and thigh.
He nuzzled my neck. “Tristan covered for me last night and today. But I’ll need to go out tonight.”
“What’s happening tonight?” As soon as I asked, I remembered who I was talking to. Twisting around as much as I could, I looked over my shoulder at him. “Sorry. You don’t have to tell me.”
His dark eyes burned into mine, and my heart skipped a beat. He always made me feel like every time he looked at me was the first time. And those eyes told me quite clearly how I affected him, even when he couldn’t find the words. “There’s a holiday fundraiser tonight that Luca needs to go to,” he told me as he gently brushed a strand of my hair away from my eye. “I always go with him, as does Tristan. It would be strange if I wasn’t there. People might get suspicious, so I need to go.”
“Is Veda going?”
“Mmhmm,” he said distractedly. “Dates are required. Otherwise, it would just look like a big meeting of mob bosses to the outsiders who will be there, which is exactly what it is. Deals will be discussed, new partnerships made, grievances aired, etc. All in hidden corners with secret handshakes.” He smirked.
I turned my back to him again, not liking the possessive heat rising into my chest and face. Before I could stop myself, and knowing I wouldn’t like the answer, I asked him, “Do you and Tristan have to take dates?”
He hesitated. “Yes.”
Tears pricked my eyes, the strength of my spiraling emotions surprising me. I cleared my throat, and my voice was surprisingly steady when I asked the obvious follow-up question, “Who are you taking?”
“Sera…”
“I want to know.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
I snapped my mouth shut. Even knowing it wasn’t possible right now, somewhere deep inside, I was really hoping he would say that girl would be me. “I need to take a shower.” I had to get out of that bed and away from him before he saw how crazy it made me to think of him with another woman.
“Hey.” He stopped me as I tried to pull away from him and pulled me back into the warmth of his body. “It doesn’t matter who I take. It’s only for show.”
“I know.” I wouldn’t look at him. I couldn’t. If I did, I’d burst into tears. Taking the sheet with me, I scooted off the bed.
“Sera, don’t be like this.”
The gaping hole in my chest suddenly filled with rage. I spun around to face him. “Don’t be like what?” I snapped.
He sat up on the bed, and I couldn’t stop myself from admiring the picture he made. He was one of the most beautiful males I’d ever seen. All muscle and tats and hard lines and fierce dark eyes. Even though I was sore from being thoroughly used in every way he could imagine, just looking at him made my heart race inside of my chest and my thighs squeeze together.
“Don’t do that. It doesn’t matter who I’m taking tonight.”
“Maybe it matters to me.”
He didn’t respond.
“It’s Jade, isn’t it? You’re taking Jade.” The fact that he was taking my friend didn’t make me feel any better. She was an escort who fucked for money. There would be no feelings involved, except for mine. “Are you going to fuck her?” Then I shook my head. “Never mind. I don’t want to know.”
Before I could make a complete fool of myself, I turned on my heel and walked into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind me.
I’d just turned on the water for the shower when there was a knock on the door. “Sera. Open the door and talk to me.”
I ignored him. I didn’t want to talk to him right now. I wanted to get into this hot shower and feel sorry for myself for being such an idiot that I ever allowed myself to fall for this man at all.
“Sera. Open the fucking door. I’m not going to tell you again.”
Barely holding back a sob, I turned to get into the shower just as the bathroom door flew open and smashed into the wall behind it. I jumped and nearly fell on my ass as my foot stepped on the sheet. My free arm flew out to catch myself, but there was nothing there.
Enzo, naked as the day he was born, grabbed my arm to steady me. With the other, he opened the shower door, reached in, and shut off the water. “Don’t do that,” he growled. “Don’t shut me out. If something is upsetting you, I want to know what it is, even if it’s me. So talk to me.”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” I told him. “And even if there was, I don’t want to.” I was being a bitch. I knew that. But it was because I was hurt. And because I was used to holding my feelings inside, where it was safe. Growing up the way I had, showing any emotion only brought more attention to myself, and I learned really fast that that was the last thing I wanted to do. So, instead, I bottled it all inside of me and stole things as a way to refocus my anxiety, or something like that.
Enzo, however, did not agree with this coping mechanism. “I know you don’t, but you’re going to.” Gripping my jaw, he forced me to look at him. I pressed my lips together and stared up at him rebelliously until he sighed. “I’m not going to fuck her.”
“You don’t seem very happy about that.” I pulled my chin from his hand and his arm fell back down to his side. “Do what you want, Enzo. It doesn’t matter.”
He cocked his head to the side and narrowed his eyes. “How the hell could you even think such a thing after last night?”
I rolled my eyes. “Please. I know what kind of man you are.”
He rested his hands on his bare hips, his cock half hard. “Yeah? What kind is that?”
This time, I didn’t hesitate. “You’re a mobster. You’re a man who likes having power. You’ll fuck who you want, whenever you want. And as soon as you get tired of me, you’ll hide me away in a house somewhere while you flaunt your latest mistress in front of all of your buddies.”
His eyes traveled over my pink hair, down to my eyes and nose with the silver nose ring, and then down to my lips. “How could I ever get tired of you, Sera?”
I pushed down the thrill his words brought. It would be stupid of me to let a few pretty phrases make me forget who and what he was. “I don’t want you to go,” I whispered.
The tension fell from his broad shoulders. “I have to, baby.”
“Then take me.”
But he was already shaking his head. “I can’t. You know that.”
“Can’t? Or don’t want to?”
“Sera…”
I was suddenly angry again. “DON’T ‘Sera’ me.”
“I can’t take you,” he said. “You know I can’t. It’s too dangerous.”
“Fine.” Sarcasm dripped from my tone. I was done with this conversation. So I went back into the bedroom and started gathering up my clothes.
Enzo followed me out, and apparently, his patience was at an end. “I’m trying to keep you SAFE! Goddammit, Sera!” He stopped a few feet away from me, and there was pain in his voice when he said, “I can’t lose you again.”
I stopped trying to pick my clothes up off the floor. I couldn’t hide the tears that slid down my cheeks. “You didn’t lose me, Enzo. You gave me away.”
I saw the truth in his eyes. He didn’t even try to deny it this time. “Sera…”
“No. Just…stop.”
Hands low on his naked hips, he stared at me. After a few tense moments, he said in a tone that would brook no argument, “I’m sorry. I can’t take you. A few trusted guards will be here at the house to protect you while we’re gone. If you’re smart, you’ll stay inside this time until everyone knows you’re not going to rat on anyone to the cops about Luigi’s murder.” He paused. “I can ask Lisa to stay and keep you company.”
“That’s not necessary.”
He looked like he wanted to say more, but then he just turned away and walked into the bathroom. A few seconds later, I heard the shower come back on.
The clothes I held fell out of my hand. Walking over to the bed, I sat down on the edge and stared at the floor as silent sobs wracked my body. I hated this. Hated feeling like this. I wanted to get away, start a new life far from him and this stupid life. And what I hated most was that I didn’t hate him at all.
By the time Enzo finished his shower, I was dressed and downstairs in the media room. I didn’t want to see him when he left. Didn’t want to know how good he smelled or how amazing he looked, knowing he’d done all of that for another woman. I told myself it didn’t matter. I didn’t really care what he did. It was only my ego that was bruised. Besides, I was only going to stay here until it was safe for me to leave. As soon as I was able, I would demand my savings from Enzo and I would get the hell out of here. I’d go to Luca if I had to. And then I would start a new life where no one knew I was a mafia princess. I would change my name. Change my look. And I would become a whole new person.
I would forget this dangerous man that made my heart flutter inside my chest and every nerve ending come alive just by walking into a room, who risked his life for me only to push me away. I was tired of his indecisiveness. I didn’t need him. I only needed myself.
I was curled up in one of the lounge chairs, paying absolutely no attention at all to the movie I’d thrown on the large screen when Enzo found me. Hands in the front pockets of his black dress slacks, he came to stand beside me. Without a word, he held out his hand.
Refusing to look at him, I took his watch off of my arm and dropped it into his open palm.
“Thank you,” he said. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.” He didn’t try to touch me or say anything else. He just…left…as I quietly cried.
