He had showered, and he was dressed in a hockey sweatshirt and jeans. He looked edible, but I saw him in there. Saw her. Saw how he loved her, and my chest burned from envy. I had no idea what it was like having a family member love you as much as he loved his sister, or how much she loved him.
And his mom. She was everything my mom wasn’t. Giving. Loving. Enduring.
Could see that in two seconds.
I knew he’d need something. His sister was half asleep before she left the arena. The high she had, she’d crash, and he would know that. As he approached me at his truck, I saw it was eating him up.
He blew out a ragged breath, seeing me. He stopped, almost glaring before raking a hand through his hair.
There was tension between us. Had been since he found out about my ex, ramped up the night I got mad about the puck bunny. It was simmering under the surface the whole time. The sex was good, but there was a harder element to it than normal. An edgier element, like he was punishing me. I got it. I did. A part of me was punishing him, too.
But, I needed him as much as he needed me tonight.
“The guys want to celebrate.”
I gave a nod. “You said a full night. I’m yours for the night.”
His eyes flashed. That was exactly what he needed to hear, and he stepped up to me. “I need to be with the guys tonight, for a little bit.”
But he needed me too. He was looking at me like I was a mirage in the Sahara Desert.
“It’s okay, Cruz. I saw how you held her tonight. I get it.”
His jaw clenched. “You get what?”
“I get that you need some things tonight. Normal rules don’t apply.”
“We had a problem the last time they didn’t apply.”
I stepped to him, pressing a hand to his stomach.
He drew in a breath at my touch, his eyes flashing once again.
“Not tonight. I saw her. You have the same smile as she does.”
His eyes darkened and in the next second, I was pinned against the truck. His body was against mine. His hands were hoisting me up, holding my thighs in place, and his mouth was devouring mine.
Oh yeah. He had needs tonight.
A sensual shiver wracked through me.
His tongue was rubbing against mine, tasting me before he lifted his head, his eyes still dark, but the sexual need was pulsating from him. He bent his forehead, resting against my shoulder as he started grinding up and into me. Slow. His hands holding my legs firmly apart as he moved up. In. Against me. Around. And he did it again, and again, and again until I was combusting from the need of him being inside me.
He dropped me back to the ground and stepped back, his chest heaving silently as he stared at me. “We’re going to do slow sex. Hard sex. I want you in seventy dirty ways tonight. You got me?”
Jesus.
I got him. I was already a quivering mess.
But I got him.
The hockey house was partying it up. The entire place was lit when we pulled up.
“I’m surprised Labrowski and Keys went for another party?”
He jerked his shoulder up, as he parked in the back. “Labrowski’s got a friend. He’s got a soft spot for her, and if he caves, Keys cave. She wanted a party tonight.”
The music was pounding louder than the other night when we got out, but then again, who was going to call the cops of the Grant West hockey team? Especially after tonight’s win? It was different. Cruz’s sister aside, there was a different feel to the game. It was more primal. Raw. Desperate. And the win had been fought for and won hard. Cruz did that. So, when we got out, everyone wanted a piece of him.
He held my hand, keeping me attached as we went through the backyard before getting to the house.
I saw the looks.
Girls noticed the hands. Guys too.
Once we got into the house, Cruz pulled me against him. My back against his front, and he had an arm around me, his hand sliding into my pocket.
That was noticed as well.
He took us to get alcohol, and he bypassed beer, taking the bottle of bourbon instead.
Atwater offered to mix me a drink, which I accepted. I was not into drinking straight shots tonight. No way. I’d really be messed up, but not Cruz. He took the bottle and walked us to a back room where a bunch of guys were. I’d never been in this room, it looked like a small media room. Three couches, one against each wall, with a bookcase filling up the fourth wall. A TV was in the middle of the bookcase, and two video game controllers were being used as two guys were in chairs on the floor, duking it out on Madden.
“Styles! Sit, my brother.” Labrowski was drunk, his head rolling against the back of the couch and his arm resting over the top. A girl was sitting by him, bent over as she was inhaling something that wasn’t not drugs. She leaned back, smiling at Cruz. “Hey, baby.”
I half expected this to be Bianca, but it wasn’t.
Cruz went rigid. “Fuck off.”
She froze.
Labrowski started laughing. “Yeah. Take your powder with you.”
She turned to him, looking like he kicked her dog.
He narrowed his eyes at her before making a shooing motion. “Get lost. We’re not into druggies.”
A guy started laughing, coming in and dropping to the couch beside Labrowski.
She glared at him. “Get lost, Brian.”
He just giggled, shaking his head. “Even the hockey team doesn’t want you. Try the tennis team next, Jennie.”
She kept glaring but brushed the rest of the white powder into a container before standing. Seeing as Cruz was sitting down, she turned so her ass was to him when she bent over and licked the table. One long and very sexual lick.
When she looked back, smug at first, she saw that he had pulled me into his lap. He wasn’t looking at her and the smug factor fell away.
Labrowski waved his hand, snapping his fingers. Two guys showed up, and he motioned to her. “Get her out of here.”
Cruz moved me so I was sitting firmly on his lap. His hands were on my hips, keeping me in place. He leaned in, nuzzling the back of my neck.
I suppressed a shiver, and I couldn’t help myself. I leaned back against him, my back resting totally on him and he moved his mouth to the other side of my neck, his tongue beginning to taste me.
“I’m seeing that you’re going public?”
I couldn’t answer. I was a writhing ball of sensations, but Cruz clamped a hand over my stomach and lifted his head. “Tonight’s special.”
“Uh huh.” Labrowski didn’t believe him.
Cruz laughed but gave him the middle finger before going back to me. He slid a hand down my front, pausing at the end of my shirt before slipping up underneath.
I bit my lip, my whole body holding still.
I looked around.
The guys, each and every one, were watching.
Nope. This was not for me. I stood, ignoring Cruz’s protest, and took his hand and the bourbon. I waved it, pulling him to his feet. “Come on. I’m not into this much PDA.”
“You told me–”
“Let’s take this to your room.” But it wasn’t a question. I took his hand, lacing our fingers, and began leading the way. He must’ve changed his mind, going with me, because he pushed up behind my back and his arm snaked around me, grabbing the bourbon again. He took a drink, his other hand tucking into the back of my jeans as we weaved through the party.
It was a full house, fuller than I’d ever seen it.
Everyone wanted to talk to Cruz, but he was beyond words already. Whatever emotion he had from his sister, was riding him hard. He was a whole different animal. Other girls, it might scare them, but not me. For maybe the first time I started considering that he could handle my shit? If I laid it all out for someone one day…
We turned the last corner, getting to the stairs as the door opened.
Tasmin was there. Her boyfriend was with her. Both took me in, but right away, they saw Cruz’s hand and trailed more fully to him.
I ignored both, pulling Cruz up the stairs and then to his room.
Before I could open his door, he moved, pushing me against it. My front was to the door, and he was behind me, plastered to me.
“You want me to fuck you tonight?”
He ground up into me.
“Huh?” he asked as he did it again.
I opened my mouth, the pleasure taking over now that we were more in private.
“Cruz,” I gasped, trying to push back from the door.
He ignored me, grinding up as if we really were having sex through our clothes.
“I want to fuck you all the time,” he whispered, his forehead resting against the middle of my back, and he skimmed his hand down my side, going to my pants and hooking over the waistband.
Holy shit. He really was going to peel them down and sink in from behind.
I shoved back from the door, adjusting his hold and was panting as I dropped to my feet. I reached for the doorknob, opening it and we were inside.
I expected to be pinned against the door since that’d been his theme tonight, but nope.
He bent, threw me over his shoulder and I was tossed onto the bed.
He followed me down, but before he could start, I patted his shoulder. “Lock the door.”
He growled, stretching out over me, his mouth going to my neck.
I said it again, “The door, Cruz. The party has a weird vibe. I don’t trust it tonight.”
He pushed up, locked the door in a flash, but made sure the windows were closed, locked, and the curtains pulled shut. A fan was switched on to drown out any sounds, theirs or ours. Total privacy.
After that, he stalked toward me, his eyes glittering with his intention.
My mouth went dry. I was aching for him. Had been since the hockey game.
He let out a sigh, as he fell back to the bed, but catching himself so he didn’t land on me. He moved over me, and leaned down, inhaling me. “I want to do so many things to you tonight.”
My body started trembling, and I just wanted to wrap my legs around his, bring him into contact against me. I wanted the grinding to come back now that we could finish it, but this was his night. I waited, seeing what he did first.
He was looking me over and his eyes flared. He sat up on his knees, his hands went to my pants. He undid my zipper, then shifting as he pulled them down. My panties were next. Socks. Shoes. I was bare to him from the waist down.
My pulse was pounding. So hard, so loud.
He bent down to my pussy, and I expected him to lick me there, but he didn’t. He knelt back up and moved closer toward me. His eyes found mine, and my own widened because I’d never seen that look from him before.
Suddenly, his finger slid inside me, and he lifted me up.
I squeaked, my entire body up in the air from his momentum until I was sitting upright and against the headboard.
His finger kept thrusting inside me, his thumb rubbing my clit and I was melting. The pleasure was rolling through me, but I was being lifted again in the air. My legs were spread apart, and he moved in, settling me on top of him.
Oooh.
I liked this position.
He bent his head, tasting my neck before sliding up to find my mouth.
God. That meeting.
His mouth to mine.
I sighed, settling even more over him, and as his tongue slipped inside me, I felt him sliding up my shirt.
I had no problem helping with that.
Pulling back, I was tugging at his shirt. I took his off. He took mine off.
My bra was next, sliding down my arms, and as we did all of this, he undid his jeans and his cock sprang free.
I grabbed it, started to stroke it.
He panted into my ear, “I want you. I want to feel you.”
I nodded. We had this discussion. Both of us were clean. I was on birth control, so I was lifted up. I reached, finding him, and helped guide him into me as he lowered me over him.
Holy mother of–he felt so good inside me. Damned good.
And then he began moving. I started rolling over him. Every time I thought it was the best with him, until the next time. But right now, this was the best I’d had with him.
I hissed as he was pounding up into me, until I growled and pushed him back on the bed. He went down, moving his legs and I climbed back over him, my knees on both sides of him. I sank down once more. Then, a hand to his chest, I rose up and rode him.
He groaned, his head falling back, and his hands clenching into my ass. He was helping me move over him, but this time was just me. He wasn’t thrusting up. It was my turn. All me. Everything was for me right now and I kept going, riding, riding, riding until I almost screamed.
My body jerked. My mouth opened. I would’ve screamed, but Cruz shot up and covered my mouth with his hand. My teeth sank down, but before I was breaking his skin, his hand moved, and I was being lifted once again into the air. My climax was racing through me, shattering me, and it just kept going.
I was helpless, riding out the waves until they ceased, but in the meantime, Cruz moved me back so I was underneath him. His mouth on mine, and he was thrusting into me for his release now.
We did enjoy a good missionary position, even for all the things he wanted ‘to do’ to me tonight.
We’d get to those.
I was lying in his bed, and had no idea the time. We’d been going at it for hours, or it seemed like. That’d just been the appetizer for what happened afterwards, but if I didn’t move again in my life, I would’ve been happy. I’d lived a good life, a very sexually satisfied life.
Cruz collapsed next to me, his hand on my stomach. “My dick is worn out.”
I looked at it and laughed a little. It was ready to rest too.
The music was still going, the bass pounding through the floorboards. We could hear people talking, some were outside. There was shouting and laughing.
“The party is still going on.”
He raised his head, glancing my way. “You want to go down there?”
My stomach growled.
We heard and both of us shared a grin.
I said, “I’m hungry.”
He let out a tired sigh, nodding before he closed his eyes and laid his head down again. He ran his hand along my leg, rubbing back and forth. “Thanks for tonight.”
“For what?”
He rolled, laying on his side so he could see me. “For–I don’t know. I was rough at times.”
“We’ve been screwing long enough you know I like that.”
A flash of a grin. “I know. I seriously love fucking you.”
I laughed. “Same here.” I bit my lip because… I wanted to ask, but I knew the rules. But we’d already violated them so many times. “That was your sister?”
He quieted, falling back down. His hand clenched over my leg before leaving and resting on his own chest. “Yeah.”
“Can I ask what happened?”
“She’s always been small, like really small, then she… She was in a car accident. Survived, but half paralyzed for the rest of her life. The accident affected some of her growth hormones. I can’t really explain it in all the medical terms, but she’s only going to get a little bit bigger for the rest of her life.”
“How old is she?”
“She’s supposed to be in high school, but mentally, she’s probably more in fifth grade.”
“Who was the girl helping her?”
“I think that was Dawn, her new worker. My mom said she’s been a godsend.”
“Your mom seems nice.”
He looked at me again, a different expression on his face, as if he was studying me for the first time. “She is. She’s a really great mom. Our dad left after the accident. We were too much baggage, so he started new. Divorced my mom, divorced us. He moved to Arizona and has a new wife, new kids. Whole new family.”
“Does he help with money?”
“Somewhat. My mom sicced lawyers on him. My dad’s wealthy, his family was in oil so there was a settlement. He doesn’t send the money. It comes straight from the bank, but to be honest, it’s not enough. All the medical bills, insurance, my mom uses that money to cover most of that.”
“You said your sister used to make that towel blanket thing. She did that before the accident?”
As soon as I asked the question, I knew it was the wrong thing to say. A prickling sensation came over my arm. Bad move. Bad question. Cruz didn’t answer, but he sat up and looked my way, rubbing a hand over my stomach again right as it let loose a long and loud growl.
“Want to go down and get food? I can make a pizza.”
I nodded, sitting up with him.
We both went and showered first.
A quick brisk washing and cleaning, and I left the shower first, wrapping a towel around my body before taking a second one for my hair. I padded into his room, starting to go through my clothes.
“Hey.”
He went past me to his dresser and pulled out a drawer. Some of my clothes were there, folded all nice.
He moved aside, going to his closet. “You left some things here one time, so I washed them. Kept forgetting to bring them with me, but they’re clean.”
I was relieved. That’s all I was going with because my underwear looked like it was done for life. He hadn’t realized he’d ripped it in half. I tossed it in the trash and pulled out a clean one. My bra was okay. There was also a pair of black leggings, so I pulled them on.
My shirt was a mess. It reeked of booze and smoke, and I had no clue where the smoke came from. The sweatshirt looked too hot for a party.
“You have a shirt I can wear?”
“Yeah. Come in here.”
I went to the closet. He motioned to some hanging and some folded on a shelf. “Pick whatever.”
The girl inside of me wanted to wear a shirt that had his name on it, his hockey number on it, but I knew that’d be asking for even more attention than we were already going to get. I grabbed a random shirt that had no correlation to who Cruz was. It was a black plain shirt, no lettering or numbers on it.
It was perfect.
And it was huge. I rolled up the sleeves, but let it hang so my ass was covered up.
“Ready?”
I finished tying my sneakers and nodded. “Yeah.”
He led the way.
When we got to the main floor, a lot of people had left.
I caught the time, noting that it was three in the morning so whoever was here were the long-haulers for the party. The kitchen itself was a mess.
Cruz cursed, taking it all in.
Cups were everywhere, liquid seeping over the counter and onto the floor. Pizza had been ordered, but the boxes were soaked. The pizza was picked over, only a few bits here and there remaining, but even those looked nibbled on. A few guys were in the kitchen, but Cruz scowled at them. They scrambled out.
I bypassed him, locating a garbage bag under the kitchen sink, and began going over what was on the counter, tossing everything or most everything into the bag.
Cruz began helping and we worked together until most of the trash was bagged up. After that, he took the bags to their dumpster or wherever their garbage went, and I began taking care of the dishes. Most could go in the dishwasher until that was full. I started a load, and by then, a few guys came in, hearing the sounds.
I started piling the extra dishes in the sink, plugging it and began filling it with warm water. Added soap.
“What are you doing, Daniels?” Atwater was confused, looking around, but he was weaving on his feet.
Cruz came back in, seeing his friend almost toppling over. “Go pass out in your bed, dude.”
“Huh? Oh. Yeah. Okay.” He headed off, bumping into the wall as he did.
“Daniels.” Gavin came around the corner, surprisingly sober. “Didn’t know you were here.”
Cruz turned on the oven then pulled out a bunch of frozen pizzas from the freezer.
Enough of the counter had been cleared and wiped down so I started washing some of the dishes.
“I’m surprised you are. Your frat didn’t do a party tonight?”
“They did, but I heard this one was off the chains so a bunch of us came over. Where were you?” There was a bag of chips and a bowl of cheese. Gavin wasn’t as sober as I thought. He began munching on the chips, dipping them in the sauce and not noticing how bad that cheese looked. It must’ve been sitting out for hours.
I pulled it away from him, dumping it.
“Hey.” He reached for it with his chip, but I raised my arm, pushing him back.
“I just saved your life. You can thank me when you’re sober.”
Cruz had opened the fridge and pulled out a new jar of cheese. He grabbed one of the bowls I washed, rinsed it, dried it a little, and poured the cheese into it. He slid it over to Gavin with the jar still tipped over. “Sit. Let it drip out.”
Gavin sat on a stool on the other side of the island. He stared at the bowl, nodding at what Cruz told him. He kept eating the chips.
I glanced back, seeing Cruz had four pizzas ready to go. The oven was still heating up.
He laid out some towels, moving the dishes I’d cleaned and put them to air dry. Once he was done with that, he touched my hip. “You want something to drink?”
I nodded. “Rum and coke.”
“Me too, please.” Gavin didn’t look up from his eating but held up a finger.
Cruz narrowed his eyes at him before moving into the other room where they had more booze set up. Once he was gone, Gavin raised his head up and gestured in his direction with a chip. “You two a thing now?”
I stopped washing dishes. “What?”
“Know you’re fucking. Pictures are all over social media of you two.”
“Pictures?”
He indicated the house. “Here. Tonight, I’m guessing. He was all over you and some of you two on a couch. There’s one where you’re making out against his truck.” He focused back on me, but his eyes were slow to center. He was on something; I could see it now. “Could’ve told me you were fucking him.”
“It’s no one’s business.”
He laughed at that, tipping his head back. “You and him? It’s everyone’s business. You two are hot. Gotta say that. You do a porn, make sure to sell that shit. It’d make you six figures.”
“Stop talking.”
Pictures. There were pictures and Cruz was the golden boy after last night’s game. Of course there were pictures. Everyone had a phone. We were getting more and more reckless. Then again, being secret hadn’t been the main objection.
I’d known word would get out, but this was faster than I’d thought.
Cruz came back, holding a beer and two other drinks. He put one in front of Gavin and handed me the other before narrowing his eyes. “What’s wrong?”
Gavin was fixated on his current chip, but he started laughing.
“Shut up,” I hissed.
Cruz looked between us two.
Still staring at his chip, Gavin asked, “You going to tell him or am I?”
I opened my mouth.
He beat me to it, dropping his chip and staring at Cruz with some hostility. “Pictures of you two all over social media. Congrats. If you were fucking in secret, you’re not anymore.”
Cruz went still, cursing under his breath before his eyes slid my way.
I felt sick to my stomach, but I mean, we both made the decision.
He said softly, “Don’t freak out and ghost me.”
An unbalanced and a little hysterical laugh left me before I closed my eyes and just shook my head.
Shit, shit, shit.
“Is that her freaking?”
“No. That’s her not being happy,” Cruz answered Gavin.
“You’ve seen her freak then?”
They were still talking about me like I wasn’t here.
“Yeah. One time there was a bad one. Blood–”
“Blood?”
“Screams.”
“Screams too? You were screaming, Daniels? Or wait, screaming from coming?”
“Shut up, both of you.” But they were talking casual, maintaining a cool and calm effect and I knew they were both doing it for me, so I didn’t flip the fuck out. I wanted to flip the fuck out.
I wanted to do more, but I thought about the real problems in my life. My mom. That put things into perspective for me. There’d be more attention on me. More girls who might pretend to like me, but mostly more girls who’d hate me. It just happened. Jealousy was rampant. And Cruz being Cruz, I was not looking forward to class on Monday.
I asked Gavin, “Are you going to give me attitude about this later?”
He shook his head, going back to his chips. He pulled the cheese jar from the bowl and set it aside. The oven beeped at the same time, and Cruz put two pizzas in as Gavin replied, “Wanna fuck you. Sorry, Styles. I’m keeping it real.” He focused back on me, ignoring how Cruz’s jaw got hard. “Have since I first saw you, but I didn’t get there first, and because I like you as a friend, that’s what I’m cool with being.” He dipped a chip into the cheese. “I’m really hoping to stay awake until those pizzas are done.”
Cruz moved in, touching my hip and jerked his chin toward the stairs. “We should talk.”
I nodded, going with him.
He followed, saying over his shoulder, “Watch the pizzas.”
“Did you not just hear me? I’m hoping to stay awake. Not a ringing endorsement to keep your house from burning down!”
Cruz ignored him.
We went to his room, but this was pointless.
I grabbed the rest of my stuff.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m going home.”
“Hey–whoa.” He jumped in front of me, his hands in the air.
Maybe I should’ve been panicking. I don’t know, but I wasn’t. I was tired. So very, very exhausted. And I looked up, knowing Cruz was worrying about me freaking out, so I spoke calmly. “Turn the oven off and take me home.”
His eyes cleared and he lowered his hands. “You sure?”
“I want to go home, and I want to go to my own bed.”
His chest rose. He looked like he had something else to say, but then everything went flat. His eyes. His mouth. His shoulders.
He nodded. “Okay.”
I checked my phone before heading to bed.
Blocked calls (7)
One got through to my voicemail, and when I clicked to hear it, it was deep breathing. They didn’t say anything.
Of course.
I blocked that number too.
