The teakettle boils on the stove, and I stare at the backs of my hands as they grip the counter. That—what happened earlier with Wendy was unexpected. But Christ, the way she came apart under my fingers, the way she begged me to cut off her air supply and trembled beneath my touch, had me dangerously close to losing control.
And that is unacceptable.
I’d love to deny it, but unfortunately knowing one’s own weaknesses is paramount to overcoming them, and Wendy becoming a weakness is painstakingly obvious. Especially after I carried her off the sundeck to my personal quarters, and then proceeded to watch her sleep, enjoying the way her dark hair contrasted against the cream of my sheets.
I glare at the teakettle, irritated that she affects me so strongly. That she calls to my base urges and brings them to the forefront, making me wrestle for control. With a scoff, I push the kettle off the burner, running a hand through my hair.
“I can do that for you, you know,” Smee says as he walks into the room with the remaining dishes from dinner.
“That won’t be necessary, thank you.”
He nods, heading to the sink, placing the glasses next to the basin. “She’s a beautiful girl.”
“Hmm?” I ask, my thumb and forefinger rubbing against my chin.
“I said she’s a nice girl.”
I turn, taking him in. Smee is close to my age and has been working on my boat since I found him on the streets next to the JR when I was eighteen—the weekend after I killed my uncle. He was homeless, begging for change, but there was a look in his eye. Something that told me he was dealt a bad hand in life and just needed a way to regain control after it had been stripped away.
And that’s something I can relate to.
For weeks, I would visit him, taking small rations of money and warm food and clothes, watching from the sidelines to see if he was a byproduct of the drugs I funnel onto the streets, or if he was something else. Someone worthy of a second chance.
Luckily for him, it was the latter.
When I bought The Tiger Lily with my parents’ inheritance; the one that was kept from me by my uncle, I went straight to Smee, and offered him room and board. A new chance. A fresh start. So long as he swore his loyalty and only worked for me. Outside of Ru, he’s been the most constant thing in my life.
Still, I keep him at arm’s length, not allowing him to know about the darkest parts of my life. Anyone can flip if given the right incentive, and while I know Smee would follow me to the ends of the earth, I’m not willing to risk him being snatched up and spilling secrets that aren’t his to tell. It would be a shame to have to end his life.
“I don’t need you to approve of my conquests, Smee. Wash the dishes and keep my yacht in check. That is what I pay you for,” I snap.
“Apologies, boss man.” He nods and turns his back, focusing on the dishes in the sink. But his words have filtered through my already frayed edges. I know what a nice girl Wendy is, her pure-hearted innocence bleeds from her pores like oil, shiny and impossible to look away from. Maybe that’s why she calls to me the way she does—the pitch-black parts of my soul aching for her light.
Heading back to my personal quarters, I remind myself of what’s at stake. She’s a tool. Something to be used and broken, a means to an end and nothing more. And while I’m quite looking forward to enjoying myself with her, allowing these feelings to muddle up my insides will do me no good.
My purpose reinforced, I slide open the door, steps faltering when I see her sitting up in the center of my bed, hair a mess on her head and eyes still heavy with sleep.
A grin lights up her face, making my stomach tighten.
“Hi. I was worried when I woke up all alone.”
I sit on the edge of the bed. “My apologies. I thought you might be thirsty but then realized I’m not sure what you’d like.”
“Oh.” Her cheeks grow round with her smile. “That’s nice of you. For a moment, I was worried I’d been kidnapped. Waking up in a strange room was a little disorienting.”
“Wonderful kidnappers to keep you in such high-quality sheets.”
“Well… you never know, they could have been trying to trick me into submission.”
My lips twitch, amusement bubbling in my chest. “Trick you?”
“Yeah, you know.” She moves a strand of hair from her forehead. “Stockholm syndrome or whatever.”
My brows raise. “And you think you’re susceptible to such a thing?”
She nods. “I think we’re all susceptible to strange things when our emotional and physical state are under duress.”
“Very astute, darling.” Nausea churns in my gut.
The back of her hands come up to rest against her cheeks. “I’m so sorry I fell asleep after…You know. I didn’t mean to.”
She shakes her head and a faint dusting of color catches my eye. My arm moves forward to brush my fingertips along the pink marks gracing her neck. “Don’t ever apologize for finding comfort with me.” I remove my hand, blood rushing to my groin as I realize she bears my prints around her throat like a collar. “Is your neck okay?”
Her hand moves from her cheek to her windpipe. “It’s fine.”
“You’re sure?”
“It doesn’t hurt.” Her lips turn up. “It feels perfect.”
“It looks as though it may bruise.”
She shrugs.
I lean in, tilting her head to the side and pressing a soft kiss to the prints. “I rather like the idea of you having a reminder of me on your skin.”
Her mouth parts as she sucks in a breath. I tip her chin and close her lips with my fingertips. “You can stay here if you like, or I can take you back to your car.”
“What time is it?”
“Late,” I reply.
Her fingers twist in her lap. “I think… I should probably head home. I have to work in the morning.”
I nod. “I understand, although I do wish you’d spoil me and stay.”
The car ride back to The Vanilla Bean is quiet, soft classical playing through the speakers while she gazes out the window. Again, I find myself appreciating all the ways she doesn’t push for conversation, instead choosing to find comfort in our silence. There are not many people who can do that, and it makes my respect for her grow.
I park next to her car, and this time, she doesn’t even attempt to open her door. Pleasure trickles through me, knowing she’s already doing as I ask. Once I open the door, she takes my hand and lifts herself out before resting her palms on my chest. “Thank you for a wonderful date,” she says.
“You can thank me again after our next one.” My arms wrap around her waist and pull her closer.
“You’re so sure there will be one?”
I grin, walking her back until she’s flush to the side of the car. My hand leaves her waist, gently wrapping around her neck, my fingertips ghosting on top of the bruises. I tip her head back. “I’ve told you once before that I want you for myself.” My lips brush against her jaw. “I think you’ll find I can be very persistent.”
Her breath stutters and a visceral want slams into me, my insides quaking with the need to dive inside of her. To feel her body mold around me as I destroy her from the inside out.
I force myself to pull back, my fingers squeezing slightly before releasing.
“What’s your last name?” she asks.
“Barrie,” I respond without thought. My heart kick-starts, lungs squeezing. I didn’t mean to tell her that. It’s too risky, our fathers worked together for years, and I can’t be sure she’s never heard it. Luckily, she doesn’t even flinch.
The reminder of who she is filters through my veins like poison, anger slicing through the fog of her presence, and I regain the control I felt slipping away.
Her hand rises to my face, fingers splaying under my eyes. “What was that?”
“What was what, darling?”
She shakes her head. “Something… your eyes… they changed.”
“Did they?” I rock back on my heels, ignoring the way my stomach is knotting up tight. “Just hoping you’ll put me out of my misery and agree to be mine.”
She glances at the ground before peering back at me. “If I’m yours, then what are you to me?”
Your worst nightmare. “I’m whatever you’ll allow me to be.”
Her teeth sink into her bottom lip and my thumb reaches up to release it. “Tell me you’re mine Wendy, darling.”
“I’m yours,” she breathes.
Satisfaction races through my bloodstream and I smile, leaning in and pressing my lips to hers, then helping her into her car.
As soon as she turns the corner, my smile drops, cheeks aching from the show. But satisfaction flows freely through my veins, the taste of vengeance fresh on my tongue.
