Abel gawked in disbelief. ‘It’s so weird to look at,’ he muttered, shaking his head. Nirali snickered beside him, but Irena rolled her eyes.
‘How can it be so strange that Saint is showing his caring side?’ she asked, her voice cutting through the tension. Abel stroked his stubble and stared at us with a watchful gaze.
Suddenly, Abel spoke up again, an accusation hiding behind his words. ‘I mean it’s questionable that you stayed and to top it all you managed to fall in love with him.’ His tone was laden with suspicion, and Nirali and Irena exchanged a wary look as they both knew what he was implying.
My brother loves to spike me off. I wanted to reach out for the wine bottle sitting on the table – ready to bash him over the head with it for daring to question our relationship.
However, Abel noticed the subtle exchange between them and leaned back against the couch. ‘What?’ he demanded, crossing his arms over his chest.
Irena cleared her throat before speaking up, finding courage in her glass of wine as she tried to hide her face from view.
‘What is it?’ Abel persisted, seeming unaware of how offensive his words were sounding. Nirali glowered at him before giving a warning tone, ‘Abel, I love you but you have to learn when to read the room.’
My brother may have been powerful but he wasn’t powerful enough against two angry women in front of him. He shrugged and gave a small smile before continuing in a lower voice.
‘It’s just me questioning how Saint managed to make Irena fall in love with him?” he trailed off. All eyes were upon Irena now, who shifted uncomfortably in her seat before finally responding with, “I haven’t told him that I love him yet.’
Abel seemed taken aback by this response and pushed back his hair before asking the obvious question, although whether it was out of genuine curiosity or because he wanted to cause more trouble was unclear.
‘Do you love him?’ he questioned quietly, though it felt like thunder roaring in my ears as all eyes were upon Irena and me awaiting an answer.
‘Well-‘ she clears her throat, fidgeting in her seat. ‘I care for him,’ she utters, meeting my gaze with uncertainty and pulling them away just as quickly. Abel leans forward, arching a curious brow. ‘Well does it ever concern you that maybe one day you will eventually be like Saint? Doesn’t it occur to you about all the fucked up things he did?’ I watch as Irena’s face contorts with confusion and fear. She straightens her posture as she responds, “I already know about Saint’s past.” trying to hide how much Abel’s words have shaken her. Nirali meets my gaze and gives me an apologetic look, but I can tell she’s thinking the same thing as Abel.
‘Woah, back up. Saint told you about Noona?’ Abel inquires, his eyes sparkling with intrigue. Irena nervously chuckles as she nibbles on her bottom lip. ‘Abel. Enough.’ I warn him sternly, knowing exactly where he’s going with this. But he dismisses me with a wave of his hand. ‘Relax brother. I’m just shocked that you finally shared your past instead of dealing with it in an unhealthy manner. I’m proud of you,’ he says before pausing to chuckle with disbelief. ‘Irena did he also tell you that I killed my mother.’ Abel smiles wickedly as he delivers this bombshell with a twisted sense of humour. ‘I was eight.’
Irena remains silent, not knowing how to respond or react to Abel’s confession. My stomach tightens into knots as I realize the full extent of what we’re all dealing with here.
‘Abel,’ I warn again, hoping to cut off any more damaging revelations from him. But he dismisses me once again.
‘That he killed Noona, Gabriel, and his child.’ The room falls silent as Nirali gasps and covers her mouth in shock. I look at Irena, who is now white as a sheet, and my heart breaks for her.
‘What?’ Irena exclaims in disbelief. My mind races as I try to come up with a way to explain everything, but it feels impossible.
Nirali slaps Abel on the shoulder, trying to snap him out of his twisted game. ‘Leave.’ She tells her husband firmly. “Nira-“ Abel starts to protest, but Nirali cuts him off with a fierce glare and a raised hand. ‘You’ve done enough running your mouth, Abel. Leave.’ She demands, and finally, he sighs and rises from the couch before exiting the library.
‘Saint?’ Irena questions softly, her voice cracking with emotion. Her words strike me like a knife to the gut, and I feel helpless to offer any kind of comfort or explanation.
I pinch the bridge of my nose as I struggle to keep my emotions in check.
The weight of everything feels heavy on my shoulders, and I’m not sure how much longer I can carry it alone.
‘I should probably be going,’ Nirali declared, standing from her chair. She brushed herself off before pointing to the other side of the room. ‘I’m gonna sit over there for a bit. I can’t miss out on this fight.’ She crossed her legs as she eavesdropped on our conversation with a smug expression on her face. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes, annoyed that my brother had found someone who was so like him.
‘You killed your child and never told me. What’s worse is that not so long ago, you told me that you wanted to have children with me. Are you going to kill them too?!’
My whole world was pushed away when a dark vivid memory flashed in my eyes.
As I trace my fingers along the glittering blades of the knives, my pulse quickens and a raw, animalistic urge awakens within me. At only 16, I’ve yet to experience the thrill of my first kill, but each day that passes, the hunger
inside me grows more ravenous. All of the pent-up fury and frustration I’ve bottled up inside for so long is bubbling to the surface, threatening to consume me completely.
Suddenly, the click-clack of stiletto heels echoes through the room, causing me to jolt upright. I tense up, the hairs on the back of my neck standing at attention as the intoxicating scent of lavender fills my nostrils. It’s her –
Noona.
As she moves in close, wrapping her arms around me, I can feel the heat of her body mingling with my own. For a moment, I’m transported back to a time when she was my protector, my guiding light. But now, something has shifted – I’ve grown taller, stronger, and more powerful than her.
Noona is a vision of age-defying beauty, with a radiance that belies her 40 years. In just a handful of months, she’ll blow out 41 candles with her signature grace and poise.
‘Are you hiding from me?’ The sound of her voice instigates a visceral response within me as if my entire being recoils at her very presence. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, trying to swallow down the nausea that churns within me.
I hate her. The intensity of my hatred courses through my veins, burning like a wildfire that refuses to be extinguished. The pain she’s inflicted upon me is unforgivable.
‘I was trying to,’ I say, my voice heavy with contempt. She laughs a sound as grating as nails on a chalkboard. She reaches out and tugs cruelly at my hair, and I steel myself against the urge to lash out at her. ‘What happened to the sweet boy I used to know?’ she asks coyly, though her cruel intentions are transparent. Refusing to engage her, I fixate my gaze on the gleaming blades that shimmer in the light, inviting and dangerous all at once.
Her voice, a mere whisper, grazed my neck. ‘Ignoring me, are we?’ My skin erupts in goosebumps. Stepping back, I watch as she teeters on her feet. Facing her, I finally meet her gaze. The darkness in her eyes is almost palpable.
‘Have you for-‘
‘No, I haven’t. I’m tired of you taking advantage of me. I don’t care if you twist the story and tell Gabriel that I forced myself on you. Do whatever you want Noona and if Angeline wants to kill herself she can go ahead and be selfish. I will just take Abel with me and protect him from all of you.’
I blurt out. Tears began to sting the corner of my eyes. Noona frowns, tilting her head to the side as she stares at me in disbelief. ‘Your father is not home and your mother is passed out drunk on the couch. That means I can do whatever I want to you and I will make sure I discipline you so that we can get that attitude of yours in check.’ She states as she approaches me and I push her away, she stumbles on her feet again.
Her eyes grow wide, a wicked smile dancing on her lips.
‘You’re going to regret that.’
Unexpectedly, Noona delivers a stinging blow to my cheek before she latches onto my throat, squeezing with a ferocity that steals my breath away.
Gasping for air, I can feel spots swirling before my eyes as my body begins to quiver in fear. Reacting instinctively, I clutch at the first object that comes within my grasp.
‘You clearly need a lesson in how to treat a woman with a child,’ she snarls venomously, but before I can stop myself, I thrust the sharp blade deep into her stomach. Instantly, her eyes widen, tears of fear welling up as she stares deeply into my soul.
And then, it hits me like a ton of bricks.
She’s carrying my child.
‘What?’ I whisper incredulously.
‘I’m pregnant.’ Her hand reaches out to grip mine, desperation now flashing in her eyes. ‘The baby is ours,’ she cries out, a glimmer of hope returning to her torn face. ‘Forget everything and let’s raise our family together… with Abel too. Just save me Saint.’ she pleads, before a gush of blood erupts from her mouth, staining her lips a crimson red.
Rage courses through my veins, overpowering any hint of disgust. How dare she suggest such a sacrilegious notion?
After years of suffering through endless abuse, grooming, and the unspeakable horrors of rape, she still has the audacity to propose we raise a child together.
With a steady hand, I press the blade deeper into her flesh, listening to the gruesome sound of her choked screams. As I twist, her eyes widen with raw panic.
‘You and the baby can rot in hell for all I care.’
She does not know the pain and regret I’ve been through, till I had to fall on my knees and beg God himself to heal me.
‘Saint?’ Irena calls out, pulling me out of the trance. I chuckle darkly.
‘Answer me, Saint. Are you going to kill my children too?’
I shake my head. Meeting Irena’s hurtful gaze. ‘No, it’s different. You wouldn’t understand.’ I utter. ‘Then let me understand. You had a secret child, you killed your own baby. How do you live with yourself knowing that you killed your first child?’
‘And this is my cue to leave.’ Nirali interrupts and then walks out of the library.
My heart beats, aching in my chest. ‘It wasn’t my baby. It will never be my baby.’
Irena scoffs in disbelief. I reach out and try to touch her but she leans back from my touch. Another stab to the heart.
‘Irena…’ I trailed off slowly. ‘Why?’ She questions softly. ‘It was Noona’s.
When I stabbed her, she told me that she was pregnant and I was the father, Hoping that it would change my mind but that only gave me another reason to kill her. I didn’t care if she was carrying my child. If I allowed her to live and give birth to the baby. I would despise the child as much as I despised the mother.’
‘What that woman has put me through Irena.’ I suck in a breath, fighting back the tears as all the emotions that I’ve been bottling up come crashing into me in one big wave. ‘What she has put me through-No one knew how much I cried that day and till this day I still can’t escape her. I can’t escape the shit she has put me through. People would always say ‘But it made you stronger.’ I was a fucking child. A child. I didn’t need to be stronger, I needed to be safe.’
‘I never had a childhood because of her. I never experienced love and safety because of her. She ripped away all my self-respect and left me with nothing. She’s the reason I’m like this. So tell me Irena, why would I want to
be a father to someone who turned me into a monster?’
Irena remains silent, not knowing what to say.
‘I’m not angry at what you did, I don’t have the right to judge. I killed my husband for crying out loud. What bothers me is that you didn’t tell me and what makes it worse is that it was your child.’
I nod in understanding. Taking Irena’s hands into mine she sighs. ‘I am a lot of things, I’ve done a lot of things but when it comes to you. I will never forgive myself knowing that I’ve done something to hurt you. Your trust means more to me than anything else in this world. I value you more than I value myself. You come first, our children come first and I will make sure to protect you and our children from this world. From myself.’ I held her face.
‘Do you think I care about anything but you Irena?’
Irena searches my eyes. Her gaze finally softens.
‘I know you do Saint. You and I have been through a lot. It’s hard for us to trust and attach ourselves to people. So you hiding all these secrets won’t make it easy for me to break down my walls for you. I just want your honesty.
Show me all the darkest parts of you and let me love you anyway and all it takes is your honesty. That’s all. Irena looks at me with her soft gaze. She strokes my cheek, her head tilting to the side. ‘It scares me sometimes, seeing the emptiness in your eyes.’
Irena leans in, placing her tender kiss on my lips, pressing her forehead onto mine.
‘Someone wise once said I kiss your scars away and replace them with mine.’ She whispers and I smile. I sigh. ‘When I was young I used to say I would never up this way.’ I scoff. ‘Now look at me. How can you care for me when I’m all fucked up on the inside. You need someone who will help you heal. You deserve someone who will share their light with you. Not me. All I can offer you is my darkness.’ I ventilate. ‘No, no I don’t. I need you. You’re powerful, violent, devastating, and utterly magnificent and in some fucked up way. I find comfort in it. So no Saint I don’t want a happy bubbly person to fix me. I prefer my chaotic storm that will destroy anything in its path.’
My heart clenched, and butterflies erupted in my stomach. ‘I love you so much, Irena.’
Irena smiles as she pulls me into a warm comforting hug. Her warmness tangled well into my soul.
I’ve finally found my home.
‘Do you really have to go?’ Irena murmurs with a heavy heart, her eyes shimmering like precious jewels.
With a deep sigh, I feel a pang of disappointment that I must leave Irena for a whole week. Tenderly, I tuck a wisp of her braid behind her ear and caress her face with warmth. As I drop a kiss on her forehead, she clutches me with all her might, fearful of letting go.
‘Just one week,’ I assure her. But she scoffs and crosses her arms, glaring at me with a fierce scowl. ‘One week is like an eternity when it comes to you.
You can’t even bear to be away from me for a day.’ She accuses, jabbing her finger at me. I can’t help but grin, knowing that she’s right.
I chuckle and press my lips against her, the sensual feeling dancing in my stomach as she clutches onto my shirt and pulls me closer. Our tongues touching and lips moving in a delicate manner.
A sinuous motion, I snake my arm around her waist, holding her in my embrace. Her body pressed against mine, Craving to tangle her into the very fibers of my soul. Irena has captured me completely, there’s no chance of me ever letting go. She possesses every inch of me, body and soul.
I am devoted to her beyond measure, willing to follow her to the farthest ends of the universe.
If she dives into the ocean, I’ll jump right in after.
Even if she takes off into the cosmos, I’ll be right there by her side.
If she meets her end, I meet mine. She holds the key to my very existence.
To me, she is a deity, a goddess to be worshipped with fealty and reverence.
She is my religion, and I’ll bow before her for eternity.
As Irena and I pull away from each other’s embrace, a shy smile spreads across her face as she extends my luggage towards me. The air between us crackles with unspoken emotions as my heart swells with love, urging me to confess what lies heavy on my tongue.
‘I love you,’ the words spill out, catching Irena off guard. Her cheeks flush a deep crimson hue as she somehow manages to steady her voice.
‘Be safe, okay?’ she insists, brimming with concern. I nod, closing the gap between us one last time to savour the taste of her lips. Then, with a heavy heart, I climb into the car, leaving Irena behind with nothing but a final, longing glance. The engine revs to life, and I drive off, carrying a piece of Irena’s heart with me.
It’s just one week yet it feels like a whole fucking eternity.
