I can’t sleep.
I’ve been tossing and turning in my bed as a myriad of thoughts race through my mind.
I suspect that the Nowak brothers are responsible for the sabotage ordeals, as well as the personal issues I have with them, including my marriage.
I groan, running my hand over my face as I drape the blanket over my body. Closing my eyes, I attempt to compel myself to sleep. I am completely drained and I desperately need rest because tomorrow is going to be a gruelling day.
Fuck, why am I suddenly unable to sleep?
Normally, I would fall asleep effortlessly after a long day with Irena-Irena.
That’s why I can’t sleep. I sleep peacefully when I am with her. She’s like my security blanket.
Without hesitation, I reach for my phone that is resting on the dresser. Unlocking it, I immediately dial one of my employees. After the third ring, they answer.
‘Hello, sir,’ they greet. ‘Kas, I need you to prepare the private jet,’ I inform them. ‘Where to, sir?’ they inquire. ‘Paris,’ I reply.
‘Okay, sir, I’ll send a car to your penthouse in thirty minutes to pick you up,’ they confirm, and I end the call. Rubbing my eyes out of sheer exhaustion.
Once I have Irena by my side, I’ll finally be able to get some undisturbed sleep.
The 8-hour journey was tiring, I attempted to rest but I was awake like an energetic child on a Saturday morning.
I step out of my car and secure it, inserting my keys into the lock I unlock the door and enter the dim silent house. My footsteps reverberate with each stride as I make my way upstairs.
Upon reaching our bedroom, I gently push the door open and walk quietly.
The moon casts a glow of glistening light in the room. Planting kisses on Irena’s soft skin as she slumbers. Though her eyebrows are slightly furrowed and tension lingers on her face.
Taking off my clothes and leaving only my briefs, I stealthily slip into bed.
Pulling Irena close to me. Her warm embrace put me at ease and her delicate vanil a scent caused my heart to skip a beat.
She groans, fluttering her eyes open. Her brows furrowed as she meets my gaze in confusion. Gently pinching the side of my face to check if I’m real.
‘Am I dreaming?’ she softly questions herself. I chuckle, placing a kiss on her forehead. ‘No, I’m here for real,’ I utter, my voice hoarse and raspy. Her cheeks blush as she pulls me closer.
‘What happened to wait a week to see me?’ she asks in the nape of my neck.
I inhale her scent and sigh.
‘I missed you and couldn’t sleep,’ I answer honestly. She pulls back, meeting my gaze as her eyes slightly widen in realization.
‘You flew across the globe because you couldn’t sleep without me?’ she clarifies.
‘If you put it that way, then yes,’ I state. She smiles softly. ‘Oh Saint, that wasn’t necessary. We could have called or video chatted.’ she declares. I shake my head.
‘Not enough of you to lull me to sleep. I needed to hold you.’
She plays with my hair, planting gentle kisses on my face. ‘Well then I’m here, you can sleep now,’ she whispers.
Like a spell, my body relaxes and my heartbeat slows down as sleep finally takes over.
IRENA
My fingers extend in search of Saint but grasp only air.
With a heavy exhale, I blink my eyes open to find nothingness beside me.
Saint left, but traces of his scent linger, taunting my senses.
Lying on my back, I gaze upward and release a soft moan, lost in thought.
The flutter of delicate wings within my gut ignites memories of last night, and Saint’s words dance among them.
With the world at his feet, he chose to fly across oceans solely to wrap me in his arms. His sense of urgency was palpable, his desire to be near me on this momentous occasion impossible to ignore. It’s not every day that someone goes to such lengths for someone they care about.
His love knows no bounds, soaring beyond what mortals could ever conceive.
I am left in awe of his devotion, wondering if I can match it in return.
When my eyes set on him, my entire being is enveloped in a surge of euphoria that leaves me breathless. He has mastered the art of leaving me speechless within seconds.
My name glides off his tongue like a sweet melody, laced with the tenderness and passion of his affection. The way his eyes search mine, unwaveringly, makes me feel as though I am the only one who matters in his world.
Whenever his fingers brush against my skin, it feels like a delicate trail of soft kisses, waking up every nerve ending in my body with a jolt of electric sensation.
My entire being thrums with an electric pulse, my heart racing with the intensity of my feelings for him. But no matter how deeply I feel, I can’t help but think that his love reaches heights that I can’t even fathom.
Whether it’s fear or denial that holds me back from saying those three words, I can’t quite say. But one thing is certain: my world revolves around this man, heart, and soul.
“I’m so sorry for calling you to come here at such short notice.” I let out, as I stepped aside for Nirali to enter.
She removes her coat and hangs it on the coat hanger before dusting the snow off her clothes. I shut the door behind me and nervously nibble on my bottom lip.
‘Reena, feel free to give me a call at 3 am and I’ll hurry over despite still wearing my pajamas,’ she jokes and I grin.
She looks at me and her smile disappears. ‘What’s the matter?’ she asks.
I exhale, pulling on my hair’s roots. ‘I’m freaking the hell out, Nirali,’ I confess, and she gently leads me to the kitchen while placing her hands on my back.
‘Calm down Irena, talk to me.’ Her reassuring presence washes over me like a soothing balm. Inhaling deeply, I observe intently as she gracefully strides into the wine room and returns with a bottle of wine and two elegant glasses. As she deftly prepares our beverages, I feel the butterflies in my stomach fluttering nervously.
Finally, she delivers my drink with a gentle smile, and we clink our glasses together. Downing my wine in one swift gulp, I place the glass down on the counter and summon my courage to reveal my innermost thoughts.
‘I think I’m falling in love with Saint,’ I spontaneously expressed. Nirali was startled and almost sprayed her wine across the room while staring at me with an astonished expression.
She then proceeded to remove the remaining wine dribbling from her lips before pouring me another serving of the drink. ‘You might need this more than I do,’ she announced, to which I responded with a shaky chuckle.
“Never thought you would fall in love with him,” she states and I shrug nervously. “Neither did I.”
“Although I’m scared, Nirali. I don’t know why but something just keeps pulling me back.” I uttered, taking a sip from my wine.
“What do you feel when you’re with him?” She questions.
‘When I was looking at him last night, I sensed something magical stirring deep within me. The power of love surged through my veins and wove tendrils of warmth and affection around my heart. My emotions were a riotous swirl of passion and devotion, surging to the surface and flooding my senses. His very presence filled me with a joy so profound, I couldn’t help but let out a giggle. Watching him slumber peacefully, I knew that this sensation was what true love was all about. It was as if the sweetest whispers of love were drifting through the universe, showering us with promises of forever.’
watching him sleep with a peaceful smile on his face, I knew that this was what true love was meant to feel like.
A love that whispered promises of eternity and beyond, evoking a sense of pure bliss that soared toward the heavens.
Lying there beside him, I chuckled, knowing that this was the love that would last a lifetime.
My heart beats with a fierce, unconditional love for Saint, yet fear grips me tight.
“Wow, you really do love this man.” she asserts with a heavy sigh. “I don’t know…” I trailed off, pinching the bridge of my nose.
“Maybe I’m afraid because it’s difficult for me to imagine someone being in love with me.” I scoff. “I can’t even picture myself loving myself if I hadn’t met Saint,” I utter, tears not beginning to shimmer in my eyes.
Nirali’s shoulder sag and her eyes soften in sorrow. “Awh babe, I think the reason you feel this way is because you had to endure a lot of hate in your past which caused these insecurities,” she states, setting her glass down and around the counter as she stands in front of me.
“Irena, look at me,” she demands gently and I lift my gaze, meeting her beautiful brown eyes.
A single tear caressed my cheek and Nirali blindly brushed it away. When she realized that she touched me fear framed her eyes.
‘Loving yourself can be a challenge at times, but the alternative of not loving yourself and believing that you are unworthy of love is an even tougher battle. You must end the self-deprecation caused by your past.
Irena, from the moment I met you, it was evident that we were kindred spirits, and we were. The universe dwells within you, and you are a truly stunning, empathetic, resilient, and genuinely extraordinary person. Your wounds are finally beginning to heal, not simply because of the aid of Saint, but because you have allowed them to mend themselves. Though your cuts and bruises may leave scars-‘ she stops and glances at the faint marks on my wrist before returning her gaze to mine, a tiny smile playing on her lips.
‘These scars serve as a reminder to you of the abyss that you fell into- the one where you suffocated yourself, convinced that you’d be lost forever. And then, unexpectedly, someone shared their love with you, and from there, it transformed into something even more beautiful.’
‘When you have truly accepted yourself for who you are, that’s when you’ll be ready to tell him. Together, you’ll embark on a wild and magical adventure, with your souls twirling amongst the shining cosmos. It’ll be a beautiful chaos, filled with endless possibilities and infinite love.’
A lone teardrop traced its path down my face as Nirali tenderly brushed it away, her touch tentative and hesitant. Upon realizing her action, a glimmer of fear flickered in her eyes.
‘I’m-I-uh I’m sorr-‘
Without a word, I embraced her tightly, cutting off her apology mid-sentence. She stood still for a moment, her muscles taut with surprise, before melting into my arms and returning the embrace with all her might.
‘It’s fine,’ I assure her, and she relaxes, pulling away. I breathe out and smile. ‘How have you been? You seem distant lately.’
Nirali bites her lower lip and sighs, and I search her eyes, noticing a glimmer of pain. I furrow my brow.
‘Nirali?’ I ask, my voice gentle with concern. Nirali starts to tear up, quickly wiping away her tears and forcing a smile. ‘I’m sorry, forget about it,’
she says, and I shake my head. ‘Hey, hey, talk to me, love,’ I urge, taking her hand in mine.
Nirali nibbles on her lower lip. ‘You know Abel and I have been trying to conceive, right?’ she asks, and I nod as she continues. ‘Well, I recently found out that I’m unable to have children,’ she blurts out, and my heart sinks. ‘Who else knows about this?’ I ask, shocked. ‘Just Saint. I haven’t told Abel yet,’ she admits, and my eyebrows furrow at the mention of Saint. She notices and weakly smiles. ‘I know. I would have told you, but you have so much going on in your life. I don’t want to burden you with my problems.’
‘No, Nirali. Don’t think like that. You’re my friend, and I would drop everything just to listen to your problems,’ I reassure her. ‘This is a difficult time for you, and you need all the support you can get, especially from Abel,’ I tell her, and she nibbles on her lower lip. ‘What if-‘ I shake my head, interrupting her. ‘Stop thinking about the ‘what ifs’. He is your husband, and he loves you unconditionally. Your inability to conceive won’t change the love he has for you. Not now, not ever.’
I smile softly as I meet her gentle gaze. ‘You are a strong woman, Nirali.
Emotionally and physically. But with this, you shouldn’t face it alone. I advise you to push away that nagging voice and tell him. Together, you can explore other alternatives. Hold onto that glimmer of hope, and maybe, by some miracle, you’ll become the wonderful mother that you’re meant to be,’ I state as I watch her tears trickle down her face.
I extend my hand and brush away the tears. Immediately she lures me into a hug.
‘I love you, Nirali,’ I murmured softly into her hair, overwhelmed by my gratitude for her unwavering friendship.
‘I love you, Irena, thank you for being you.’ As her head nestles onto my shoulder, her muscles surrender into a state of sweet surrender. ‘I really needed that,’ she murmurs, and my heart blooms with joy.
A woman like Nirali does not deserve this type of pain and as her friend, I’ll do everything in my power to support and give her comfort through this difficult journey.
The path to true self-love starts here, and once I am sure that I can rely on myself emotionally, I will share my feelings with Saint.
