ONE DAY LATER
Emotions surge within me, clogging and drying my throat like a desert wasteland. Disgust, anger, and terror intertwine in a tangled web of misery.
The mere thought of remarrying makes every inch of my body recoil, twisting my stomach with revulsion. I clench my fists, trying to contain the hot tears that well up in my eyes.
Days blur into one another, lost in a suffocating loop of mind-numbing sameness. There’s no joy left, no light in my life. But as I lay on my bed, I close my eyes and force my mind to my happy place – Saint and I playing the piano in our cabin.
‘Stay strong,’ I tell myself, drawing on every ounce of wil power I have left.
And at that moment, I hear a soft whisper – I’ll find you, doe. I’ll bring you home.
The celestial echoes of his voice lull me into a sense of calm, filling my lungs with the air of comfort. My mind is transported to a time of pure bliss when we were together. It’s in these moments that I find the strength to carry on.
But then, the cackle comes back, piercing through my momentary peace.
The voice needles at me, probing at my vulnerabilities.
You’re not strong you pathetic bitch.
No one is going to save you. It’s time to wake up from your delusional world.
With a determined breath, I squeeze my eyes closed, mustering all my strength to push back against the voice sneaking into my mind.
Abruptly, the door bursts open, and heavy, ominous footsteps draw nearer to my bed. Though my back is turned, I stay completely still, pretending to be lost in slumber.
‘Is there anything else you require, sir?’ one of the maids’ ventures. Shivers of fear ripple through me as rough, calloused hands ghost over the contours of my body. I’m barely dressed in a pristine white tee that doesn’t quite reach my rear, but thankfully, a cozy blanket shields me from the intruder’s gaze.
‘Leave us alone,’ the voice reverberates through the room, sending chills down my spine. It’s Manuel; that unmistakably threatening tone could only belong to him.
I observe as the door slams shut, blocking out any glimpse of light that might offer me protection. I curl up under the covers, concealing myself from him as if my life depends on it.
But there’s no way out. Soon he’s removing the covers, exposing me to his cold, calculating stare. I keep my eyes closed, refusing to meet his gaze.
I sense the warmth of his body as he leans in closer, his scent of tobacco and cologne overwhelming me. I can barely maintain my composure as he plays with me, his thumb tracing my hair. My body trembles, but I refuse to display any vulnerability.
And then he steps back. ‘I know you’re awake.’ He declares softly and my eyes flutter open as I turn to meet his calculated stare. He tilts his head to the side. ‘What do you want?’ I inquire quietly. ‘I want to familiarize myself with you. After all, chica, you are going to be the mother of my children.’
He states and I scoff sarcastically. ‘Why bother, you’re going to end my life after I fulfill you and my uncles with enough children.’ I spat bitterly and he gazes at me as if solving a complex puzzle. ‘Perhaps you can provide me with a reason not to kill you.’ He proclaims and I sigh, averting my gaze. ‘Don’t waste your words on me Manuel,’ I utter, turning my back to him. ‘After all, I’m worth nothing except for being a procreator.’ I pause. ‘Do us both a favour and let me be to drown in my sorrow.’ Dread tightens in my stomach, and I tense up.
After a tense silence, I hear his footsteps fade away followed by a creak of the door and a gentle slam.
Suddenly, a creaking sound emanates from the darkest corner of my room, jarring me from my deep, inexorable slumber. My senses are invaded by an unsettling feeling that grips me in a vice-like hold, as I jolt awake, drenched in a cold sweat. Bewildered and disoriented, I am confronted with utter darkness, my only source of comfort being the pale luminescence of the moonlight creeping through the narrow crevices of my window. The subtle strands of light struggle to penetrate the inky shadows that engulf my room.
Through the haze of my unconsciousness, a shiver runs down my spine, and I become acutely aware of the ominous presence surrounding me. My breathing grows ragged, and my chest pounds with an intensity that makes my heart feel like it could burst out of my chest. It takes me a few moments to gather my bearings. I pull myself up from the bed. A shiver creeps down my spine as I sense an unseen presence lurking in the shadows. My skin prickles with goosebumps, and I know without a doubt that someone is watching me.
Gritting my teeth, I force myself to sit up, ignoring the pulsing ache between my legs. The darkness is oppressive, pressing in on me from all sides. I glance out of the window, watching the raindrops trickle down the panes.
A sudden bolt of lightning illuminates the room in a blinding flash, and I seize the opportunity to scan my surroundings. No one is there. Or are they simply hiding in the shadows?
The feeling of being observed is so strong that I can almost detect a physical weight on my skin. With a sinking heart, I slide out of bed and rush to the door, pounding it with all my strength.
Finally, the door creaks open, and I come face to face with Grzegorz. My fury is like a raging inferno, consuming me from the inside out.
‘What the fuc-‘
‘Tell me,’ I pleaded, the words dripping with angst. ‘Why are you doing this?”
Grzegorz scoffed, crossing his arms with a haughty air. “Doing what Irena?”
My frustration boiled over, spilling into a forceful shove towards Grzegorz.
But his dark eyes were unmoved by the fresh wounds painting my skin.
As the realization dawned on me, a painful lump lodged in my throat.
Grzegorz truly is an evil heartless bastard.
‘You-‘ A strangled sob caught in my throat. ‘Why?” I screamed. ‘Why are doing this to me!?”
My voice echoed in the emptiness of the room, ringing with the agony that clawed through my heart.
“Why, I thought we were family. I am the daughter of your dead brother?!”
I pleaded without hope, feeling the weight of devastation closing in.
With tears flowing down my cheeks relentlessly, I prod Grzegorz with every fiber of my being, desperate for answers. In response, Grzegorz barks fiercely and unleashes a slap that makes me stagger and crash onto the hard floor.
Looking up at him, my heart clutches in a vise as he glares down at me with an ice-cold stare.
My voice trembles as I cry out, unable to contain the torrent of emotion inside me. ‘WHY?!’ I cry out, sobbing uncontrol ably. ‘I-I was getting better.
I really was. Now I’m here wondering what I did wrong to deserve this?’
‘W-what did I do to be unloved by you?’ my voice cracks at the end and Grzegorz stares at me. Not a single trace of emotion shimmering in his eyes.
‘Why am I not loved by any of you?’ I add, my voice cracking as I stare at Grzegorz. His eyes remain devoid of any emotion, intensifying the overwhelming sense of pain that grips me.
‘I can’t even sleep, I can barely eat. I’m miserable because of you!’ I scream, letting the anguish inside me take over. ‘This isn’t just depression anymore, Grzegorz. You’ve drained every inch of my energy, leaving nothing but a shell of who I used to be. I can’t even bring myself to look in the mirror anymore because I don’t recognize the person staring back at me. I’m ashamed of what I’ve become.’
A peal of choked laughter escapes my lips as I lock eyes with Grzegorz. ‘I’m sick of fighting. Every day, every moment is a struggle. But I still keep going because of him.’ I pause, my voice reducing to a whisper. ‘But now, I’m just tired. So, so tired.’
‘Why? What could I have possibly done to warrant this punishment?’ I murmur, my fragile voice trembling with each syllable.
‘You’re a constant reminder of that bastard we call our blood. You’re nothing but a burden we’re forced to bear,’ he spews, his eyes boring into me with seething hatred. “What has my father done to make you hate me so much?” I inquired, tears spilling out of my eyes. He leans in close his eyes burning with hatred. ‘He took everything from us. I was supposed to be the rightful head of the family. I was supposed to be the one who ought to have made my father proud but your bitch of your father was the favoured one.
Making us follow in his footsteps. And now that he’s gone we can reclaim what was rightfully meant to be ours. The only problem is you are the crucial element for us to have complete authority to inherit the family enterprise once we are finished with you. Everything Anatol and I have laboured for will finally be justified.’ He pauses and seethes into my ear. “You are just as pathetic and worthless as Jan Irena. A fucking mistake, like he was.”
Keep fighting, baby. Keep fighting.
I don’t know how to anymore, Saint. I don’t fucking know how.
In the eerie silence of the night, Grzegorz was ready to abandon me to the dense chasm of darkness. But in an instant that changed, as I caught the shrill echoes of a thunderous eruption from the outside, followed by a volley of aggressive gunshots and distressing screams that echoed through the shadows. Grzegorz’s eyes widened abruptly, overwhelmed with surprise and panic. My heart skipped a beat, and the world around me became an indistinct blur.
Saint.
