Jeffrey Clark was my secret admirer? No matter how many times I turned the idea over, I couldn’t make sense of it. It was like being told that the earth really was flat.
‘So have you talked to him yet?’
Lindsay’s face was all expectation as we sat down at a booth at the local coffee house. On hearing Sara’s fingerprinting results, I’d dazedly texted everyone, requesting an emergency meeting on the way to school.
‘How could she have talked to him?’ Jelena said, ripping open two sugar packets and sprinkling them into her already sweet caramel mocha. ‘School hasn’t even started yet.’
‘She could have called him,’ Lindsay said.
‘Called him?’ I gripped my mug of hot chocolate. ‘It’s hardly something I could talk about on the phone. I’m only just coming to terms with the revelation.’
I felt terrible, but I was kind of disappointed about my secret admirer’s identity. Call me naive, but I’d imagined him as a mysterious stranger at Jefferson High I’d happened to miss noticing. But it wasn’t like that at all. Far from being a stranger, Jeffrey was in all of my classes and I’d never felt a spark of attraction for him. I mean, he was great for a laugh, but I just couldn’t picture him as a Potential Prince.
I’d never seen him show any signs of amore towards me either.
Wait a minute … He had admitted to looking at my butt in Ms DeForest’s class. And his comment of ‘wholly and deliciously female’ still rang in my ears. And he’d given me that bell on Valentine’s Day …
‘I just can’t get it into my head,’ I said.
‘Well, you’d better get a move on,’ Jelena said. ‘There are only five days till the Beatrice–Benedick smooch session. And seeing as you don’t want to kiss Hayden …’
‘Sara, is there any way that you could have got this wrong?’ I asked.
‘Well, I can’t guarantee a hundred per cent accuracy,’ Sara replied. ‘There were obviously a number of variables involved. However, the prints match up.’
I could tell that the frown on her face wasn’t because I was questioning her fingerprinting skills; it was because she was just as confused as I was about the results of the test.
‘Are you sure you want to do this whole approach-the-secret-admirer thing?’ Cassie asked me. ‘I mean, do you have any feelings for Jeffrey?’
Jelena burst out laughing and we all turned to look at her.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘But this is Jeffrey Clark we’re talking about. Jeffrey with a penchant for stripping and a fascination with the plague. Oh god, this is too funny.’
‘Thanks, Jelena,’ I said dryly. But she had a point. When I’d included ‘unique’ in the list of my Potential Prince’s qualities, I hadn’t quite meant Jeffrey’s degree of specialness.
Cassie stirred her latte. ‘If you don’t have any feelings for him, then maybe you shouldn’t tell him that you know the truth. There’s no point in hurting him.’
‘You could just ignore the results,’ Lindsay added.
Could I do that? Could I just keep quiet if Jeffrey sent me more and more heartfelt messages?
‘What if Jeffrey confronts you?’ Jelena’s crimson mouth was smirking. ‘And what about the kiss? That’s the whole reason we did the fingerprinting. Don’t tell me the refreshment stall was all for nothing.’
I sighed. After all the trouble we’d gone to, it did seem cowardly not to speak to Jeffrey. Plus, I couldn’t ignore the fact that he’d sent me a highly expensive, visually spectacular bouquet, a heartfelt note and an amazing poem.
‘I’m going to talk to him,’ I said. ‘I mean, if he wrote that poem, then there’s more to him than we think.’ I paused. ‘Like they say, you can’t judge a book by its cover.’
It would be spiritually shallow of me to reject Jeffrey on the grounds that he didn’t appear to fit my Potential Prince image. The notes I’d received indicated a deep, poetic soul. Maybe Jeffrey really did have another side to him. I pushed aside the doubt that poked at my heart and put on my most determined voice.
‘I have to give him a chance. It’s only fair after he’s put his heart and his wallet on the line.’
‘Oh my god,’ Lindsay whispered.
Oh no. Not another emotional plea from Tyler in a public place.
Lindsay’s eyes were huge. ‘Jeffrey and co just sat down at a booth.’
I glanced pseudo-casually to my right and saw that she was correct.
Jelena was nearly purple from suppressed laughter. ‘Well, Aurora, are you going to go talk to him?’
‘I can’t do it here!’ I whispered.
Jelena smirked. ‘Sure you can. If you don’t, I’ll call him over myself.’
‘You wouldn’t.’
Her face was all grinning resolve.
‘Okay, I’m going,’ I grumbled.
I made my way over to Jeffrey, who was building a tower of salt and pepper shakers. I took a deep breath. ‘Jeffrey?’
Jeffrey turned his head away from the wobbling tower and the whole thing collapsed.
Travis laughed. ‘You suck, man. Let me try.’
‘No way!’ Jeffrey snatched the condiments away from him.
‘Jeffrey?’ I already had a headache. ‘Could I talk to you for a minute?’
‘Go ahead, babe,’ he said.
He, Travis and Jesse all grinned at me expectantly. Oh god, did they all know about the secret-admirer thing?
‘I was hoping I could talk just to you?’ I said quietly.
Now I knew exactly how Tyler had felt when he approached Lindsay in the library.
‘Ooh!’ Jesse said. ‘You hear that, Jeffrey? She wants to talk to you privately!’
‘Privately’s code for a make-out session,’ Travis piped up. ‘With Aurora Skye! Man, you got it going on!’
Both Jesse and Travis elbowed a grinning Jeffrey in the side. Several tables around us fell silent.
‘Right, that’s it.’ I started to walk away. No Potential Prince would allow his friends to hassle me in a public place.
‘Wait!’ Jeffrey leapt up from his seat. ‘Aurora, we can definitely talk privately! Shut up, you guys!’ He glared at a tittering Travis and Jesse.
‘Let’s get a booth,’ I said, and pointed to one that wasn’t too far back in case Jeffrey tried to get passionate or something. Yes, I was on a deadline with the whole first-kiss thing, but I needed a few dates to ascertain Jeffrey’s Potential Princeliness first.
Jeffrey stretched out on one side of the booth. ‘So, babe, what did you want to talk to me about?’
I paused. Couldn’t Jeffrey just admit that he was my admirer? He obviously knew that I’d figured it out. Why else would we be talking privately?
He gave me a grin, and I took a long look at his face, something that I’d never done before. Did I find him attractive? Well, he did have a nice smile — white and bright and brimming with the promise of fun. And his eyes were a lovely blue that contrasted with his golden hair. Maybe kissing him wouldn’t be so bad.
Wouldn’t be so bad? I didn’t want to kiss someone I considered not bad. I wanted to kiss someone out-of-this-world incredible. But maybe once Jeffrey’s real identity was revealed, I would feel that way about him.
‘Jeffrey,’ I tried again. ‘I know that —’
‘You know what, babe?’
He leant across the table towards me. Oh god. This was moving too fast.
‘I know that we’re very different,’ I said slowly, not wanting to say the wrong thing. ‘That’s why I have to admit that I was very surprised to find out that you thought of me in that particular way —’
‘Oh yeah! Babe, you’re gorgeous,’ Jeffrey said.
So there it was: his confession of his regard for me. It was official now.
Jeffrey pulled a sandwich from his backpack. He’d just declared his love and he was eating a sandwich? Call me oversensitive, but I’d kind of expected him to be less blasé about his feelings. Perhaps he was eating out of nervousness? I should be focusing on the important thing: he was my admirer. I gave him what I could tell was a wobbly smile and continued.
‘Obviously there’s a lot more to you than I realised. Your poem was so beautiful —’
‘Huh?’ Jeffrey sat up straight. ‘Poem? I’ve never written a poem in my life.’
The interior of the coffee house seemed to whirl around me. Jeffrey hadn’t written the poem?
‘Are you serious? You’ve never written a poem? Not even, say, one for a girl you like?’
‘Nope.’ Jeffrey took a bite of his sandwich. ‘But don’t let that discourage you, babe. I have other talents — humour, a great body.’
‘But you’ve never written a poem?’ I pressed. ‘You swear?’
‘What is it with chicks and poetry?’ Jeffrey asked. ‘No. I can’t stand the stuff.’
I stood up, giddy with relief. I should have remembered Jeffrey’s claim of suffering metrophobia in English class. There was no way he’d choose to woo a girl using poetry.
‘Fantastic!’ I cried. ‘Thanks, Jeffrey!’ I grabbed my bag and threw it over my shoulder. ‘I’m sorry about this whole misunderstanding. I had you mixed up with someone else.’
‘Someone else?’ Jeffrey dropped his sandwich. ‘Now wait a minute, Aurora. I could try my hand at poetry if that’s what you really want. Some of those poems are pretty sensual —’
‘Gotta run, Jeffrey!’
I dashed back to my friends.
‘How did it go? Did you arrange a date?’ Cassie asked.
‘Did he seem any deeper?’ Lindsay asked.
‘No and no! And yay!’ I cheered quietly, hoping that Jeffrey couldn’t hear.
‘And that makes you happy?’ Sara stared at me.
‘I’m happy because it wasn’t him!’ I whispered. ‘He didn’t write the poem.’
‘But what about the fingerprints?’ Sara said. ‘I spent hours on the analysis. I can’t be wrong.’
‘It was wrong,’ I said quickly. ‘Let’s get going. I’ll tell you the whole story once we’re out of Jeffrey’s earshot.’
‘You know what this means, don’t you?’ Jelena said when I’d finished my explanation. ‘It means that we’re back to square one with this whole damn secret-admirer thing! We have no clue who this nerd is —’
‘Jelena!’ I said.
‘We have no clue who this supposedly fabulous guy is,’ Jelena went on. ‘And no way on earth of finding out!’
‘Sara, is there any way you could try the fingerprint thing again?’ I asked. ‘Obviously Jeffrey’s fingerprints got mixed up with someone else’s somehow. Maybe the secret admirer accidentally used Jeffrey’s cup.’
‘I don’t have the cups any more!’ Sara said. ‘They went out with this morning’s garbage.’
‘We are not going through the garbage!’ Jelena cried.
‘Of course we’re not!’ I said, though it had crossed my mind. ‘Jeffrey had lemonade, didn’t he? If we can remember who else drank lemonade, we could narrow it down.’
‘I hate to tell you, Aurora, but almost everyone drank lemonade,’ Cassie said. ‘It was the first to run out.’
‘It’s impossible,’ Jelena said. ‘There’s no way we’re going to find out this guy’s identity by next Tuesday! You have to give up.’
‘It’s not impossible.’ I was trying to stay positive. ‘There’s got to be something we can do.’
‘I’ve got an idea,’ Lindsay said. As I whipped around to face her, her eyes dimmed. ‘Oh no. That won’t work.’
‘What won’t work?’ I cried. ‘Come on, Lindsay, at least say what it is.’
‘You’re not going to like it,’ she said.
I made a pleading gesture. ‘Lindsay, please!’
‘Well, all the magazines say that jealousy will usually motivate a man to make his move,’ Lindsay said. ‘So if we get your secret admirer jealous, then he might pop out of the shadows and claim you.’
‘How would we do that?’ I asked, wondering why Lindsay would think I had a problem with the idea.
‘Well, as we know, you have a big moment coming up on Tuesday,’ Lindsay said.
My face flushed as I thought of the upcoming rehearsal.
‘If your secret admirer heard that you were going to be getting cosy with Hayden Paris …’
‘Total high-school hottie,’ Sara added, taking in my look of horror.
‘Then he might get all worked up over another guy kissing his dream girl and reveal himself before it happens!’ Lindsay finished.
‘Technically, if he’s part of the production, then he already knows,’ Jelena said. ‘Sorry, Lindsay, but the jealousy idea is no good.’
Lindsay shrugged. ‘We have no actual proof that this guy’s part of the production. He could have an inside man who does his deliveries for him, which means he could be completely unaware of Tuesday’s rehearsal.’
‘But how are we going to get the information to this guy if we don’t know who he is?’ Cassie asked.
Lindsay smiled. ‘We inform everyone in the school about Aurora and Hayden’s kiss.’
‘No!’ I cried. ‘Everyone’s going to give me hell about it!’
‘But it won’t matter if it results in you finding your secret admirer and kissing him before Tuesday, will it?’ Cassie said.
She looked closely at me and I remembered how the night before I’d urged her to take a risk. I had to answer truthfully.
‘Okay, I admit that it sounds worthwhile in the long run.’
The sacrifices a girl has to make for love.
‘Okay. Well, we’ve got to do this properly,’ Jelena said. ‘I know. I could announce it over the loudspeaker!’
‘No!’ I’d die of embarrassment if the announcement happened in a class where Hayden sat right in front of me.
Jelena pouted. ‘Fine. I’ll just start the rumour mill then. As you know, I’m the expert in that area.’
More than ninety-six hours later, I stood with Jelena outside the interpretive dance room. Since Thursday, I’d done my best to smile at every guy I set eyes on, just in case he happened to be my secret admirer. I’d kept my phone within arm’s reach the whole weekend, praying for a call or a text. Nothing. Now it was Monday afternoon, only twenty-five hours till the rehearsal and there was absolutely no sign of my love on the horizon.
‘You’re going to have to face facts,’ Jelena said, removing her silver sandals. ‘The rumour’s all over the school and this guy still hasn’t revealed himself. This first kiss with your fantasy Prince isn’t going to happen.’
Her words burned, but I was all too aware of the reality of the situation.
‘You’re going to have to give up,’ Jelena added, making it sound like the easiest thing in the world.
‘I can’t give up!’ I threw down my pink peep-toes for extra emphasis.
Jelena shrugged. ‘Just get the first kiss over with.’
I glared at her. My first kiss wasn’t something to get rid of!
‘Everyone inside,’ Ms DeForest called, holding open the classroom door.
The room had had a makeover. The walls were now purple, and gold drapes fell from the ceiling and covered the windows. God knows how she’d got permission from the school board to turn the classroom into an oil sheik’s retreat.
‘Look at this place!’ Jeffrey ran into the centre of the room with Travis and Jesse following.
‘Feel the vibe, man!’ Travis twirled one of the drapes around himself.
‘Let’s get exotic!’ Jesse said.
Travis waggled his eyebrows. ‘Like those dancers we saw when we snuck into the club last week?’
‘Come join us, my beautiful woman!’ Jeffrey shimmied my way.
Obviously he was still under the impression that he and I were a possibility.
Ms DeForest slammed the door shut. ‘Stop sullying this sacred atmosphere! Today’s lesson is about soul growth. Please find yourself a spot on the floor.’
She switched on the stereo. Suddenly the room was enveloped in darkness. Several girls let out ear-splitting shrieks, including Jelena right next to me.
‘Blackout!’ I heard Peter Guinness cry excitedly from somewhere to my right.
‘What if there’s a fire?’ Amber Jenkins sounded hysterical. ‘What if that’s the reason the power’s gone off?’
I couldn’t smell smoke, but I leapt to my feet. From the sounds around me, everyone else had followed my lead.
‘To the fuse box, gentlemen!’
There was a thunder of feet as the male members of the class tried to follow Jeffrey’s order, then the thumps of people running into walls.
‘There is no blackout!’ I could hear someone clapping, presumably Ms DeForest trying to restore order. ‘I turned the lights off. The darkness is a metaphor for your spiritual ignorance.’
I doubted that my spiritual ignorance was this extreme. I couldn’t even see my hand in front of my face.
‘The darkness is swallowing you up,’ Ms DeForest said. ‘You are confused. Disorientated. Terrified.’
Someone let out an ear-piercing scream.
‘Mr Clark!’ Ms DeForest boomed. ‘What is the meaning of that outburst?’
‘You can’t see anyone!’ Jeffrey said, sounding hurt. ‘How do you know the scream came from me?’
‘I am all seeing and all knowing,’ Ms DeForest said. ‘Explain yourself immediately.’
‘It was primal,’ Jeffrey said. ‘You said we were terrified, and the terror rose up in my throat and burst out.’
‘You are tumbleweed blowing in the hurricane that is life,’ Ms DeForest continued, obviously deciding not to respond to Jeffrey. ‘You ask yourselves, why do certain things happen to certain people? Today, I have the answer for you. Today, we will explore the mystical force that controls all events — fate!’
Suddenly light flooded the room. I blinked, feeling slightly stunned.
‘Two lines of fifteen people,’ called Ms DeForest.
Everyone formed two lines facing each other, then linked hands with the person opposite at Ms DeForest’s command. Jelena and I made sure we were a pair.
‘Okay. As you may have noticed, we have an extra person.’ Ms DeForest pointed at Kelly Ryce. ‘Your hands are forming a platform that will propel Kelly from the start of the line to the finish.’ Ms DeForest pointed at the end closest to me.
‘Propel?’ Kelly looked at the line, then back at Ms DeForest. ‘I don’t know about this.’
‘The Chain of Destiny will support you,’ Ms DeForest said, gesturing at the line of our linked hands. ‘Now, run and leap!’
Kelly closed her eyes and dived onto our linked hands, which sank suddenly under the weight.
‘Propel her! Propel her!’ Ms DeForest shrieked.
‘This is ridiculously hard work,’ Jelena said, rolling her eyes.
‘Next!’ Ms DeForest pointed at Tom Meyer, who was at the head of the line. That side had to move along one person, which meant I was now holding hands with Shane Davis.
‘Feel the Chain of Destiny throwing you this way and that!’ Ms DeForest called to Tom.
‘Like a theme-park ride!’ he said.
Ms DeForest frowned. ‘Fate is not a friendly theme-park ride! It is out of control, throwing the possibility of destruction constantly in your way. You have no power to alter its effects.’
As ridiculous as this exercise was, I couldn’t help wondering about Ms DeForest’s claim. Was fate real? Was there actually something controlling my life? Was that why my secret admirer hadn’t turned up? Because he was destined not to?
Oh my god. Surely it couldn’t be destined that Hayden Paris should be my first kiss?
The idea seemed ridiculous, but it also seemed to fit in a weird way. Ever since I’d heard about this onstage kiss, I’d done everything in my power to put a stop to it. I’d fingerprinted fifty people, confronted Jeffrey Clark, started a school-wide rumour and racked my brain to try to discover my Potential Prince’s identity. But none of it had changed anything.
‘The Chain of Destiny is locked in, controlled by forces set in place millennia ago!’ Ms DeForest said as Amber Jenkins rode the Chain of Destiny with an unimpressed look on her face.
Millennia ago? What had happened way back then that had made the Aurora–Hayden kiss a locked-in outcome?
I closed my eyes with a groan. Once again, I needed a time machine. If I could just stop Hayden from moving to Jefferson; or, more simply, stop myself from auditioning for Much Ado About Nothing, much as I loved being a part of it now, then the kiss would never happen.
Or would it? Was it locked in, just like Ms DeForest was saying? Even if Hayden hadn’t moved to Jefferson, would I still have crossed paths with him somehow and ended up being forced to kiss him?
Fate was too cruel. The whole of my life I’d been living under the happy misapprehension that my first kiss was mine to give away. Meanwhile, destiny had been laughing to itself over the truth. Hayden Paris was going to have the pleasure of kissing my virgin lips.
‘Let yourselves go with the flow!’ Ms DeForest stretched her arms out. ‘Say, “Fate, I accept you and your whims. I give my assent!”’
No-one spoke.
Ms DeForest looked at us. ‘Anyone not repeating the mantras will receive a fail grade for participation.’
‘Fate, I accept you,’ we all droned.
My thoughts whirred. Could I accept fate? Could I assent to its whims? Could I give Hayden my first kiss?
I made myself consider the idea non-emotionally. Hayden was an academic achiever and a Student Council member. He wrote poetry and participated in the dramatic arts. He cared about animals and he had charisma and confidence. He was also honest (too honest sometimes) and, I had to admit it, honourable. Based on this description, he sounded right for the part. But all of this was based on logic. Logic could only apply so far when it came to a kiss. Kissing was wrapped up in emotions and attraction and other scary, sticky things.
I pictured Hayden’s twinkling hazel eyes looking into mine, and imagined him lowering his dark head. I waited for his lips to make contact … then felt them touch mine. My heart thudded. For a moment, I wasn’t in Ms DeForest’s class. I was in Hayden Paris’s arms.
Oh my god, I could kiss him. I could see it as clear as crystal in my head — and it seemed almost … My breath caught. Appealing?
The memory of us standing so close together on Valentine’s Day floated into my mind like the helium balloon he’d given me.
Then I saw him reading my poem. Refusing to help me with TylerandLindsay or Cassie and Scott. Observing all my horrendous dates.
The helium balloon of good thoughts popped.
Could I consent to giving my carefully preserved, all-important first kiss to the bane of my life? Was I the type of person to let the wind of fate blow me around without protest? No, I was not. I was Aurora Skye, and I believed that one person could make a difference. While there was still time and opportunity and breath in my body, I was going to fight fate.
‘Ms Skye!’ Ms DeForest’s exasperated call broke into my personal triumph. ‘Please ride the Chain of Destiny.’
I looked at the line of linked hands that would throw me out of control.
I sprinted towards it, dived underneath the line of hands and slid out untouched. I let out a whoop as I exited.
‘What is the meaning of this?’ Ms DeForest demanded.
‘I’m making my own destiny,’ I said.
‘No-one makes their own destiny,’ Ms DeForest shrilled. ‘That is the nature of fate.’
‘I don’t believe in fate,’ I said with all the resolve in my soul.
Everyone in the Chain of Destiny stared at me.
‘OUT!’ Ms DeForest boomed. ‘Your energy is disruptive and destructive!’
‘Are you ever going to come up with a reason other than invisible forces for kicking me out?’ I asked, getting to my feet.
Ms DeForest glared at me. ‘Get to the office, before I decide to suspend you for two days.’
‘Technically, only the principal can suspend people,’ Jeffrey chirped. ‘I should know.’
‘Both of you, OUT!’ Ms DeForest pointed to the door.
‘But I wanted to see you ride the Chain of Destiny!’ Jeffrey complained.
I raced out the door before Ms DeForest could explode.
I couldn’t believe that I’d got detention again. My academic record was a shambles.
To make it worse, Jeffrey spent the time composing stanzas in my honour, obviously believing that poetry would improve his chances of a hook-up. I never thought I’d be anti-poetry, but phrases such as ‘luscious lips’ and ‘oh, the fantasies I have’ and ‘curves, curves that stir my soul’ were mortifying.
I blocked him out and focused on constructing my battle plan against fate. It was time to take Operation Stop Kiss to a whole new level.
