‘How could Alex make up such a lie?’ Cassie gasped at lunch.
‘Such a horrible lie,’ Lindsay added.
Lindsay had come up to me first thing at lunch, a massive apology bouquet (which she’d obviously cut class to get) in her arms. Her eyes had been so distraught that I’d forgiven her instantly.
‘Male ego.’ Sara rolled her eyes and took a bite of her sandwich. ‘It knows no bounds. He obviously wanted to date the most popular girl in school, who, up until last week, was Jelena. When that looked like it was going to change, he ran after Aurora.’
‘The awful thing is, everyone believed him.’ I shivered as I remembered everyone’s accusing looks.
‘Even me,’ a cool voice said. ‘How stupid was that?’
‘Jelena!’ I turned around to face her.
She gave me a small smile, and pulled off her sunglasses, revealing eyes that were red around the edges. She looked at me uncertainly. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you straight away, but I was embarrassed. I just felt so stupid for believing Alex’s lie, and accusing you in front of everybody! There’s no excuse for it, but I liked him so much — I’ve never felt that way about anyone. So when I heard all those messages on my phone, I just lost it. What killed me the most was thinking that you’d betrayed me.’ Her eyes misted up. ‘’Cause you’re my best friend and, despite all my ambition, I would never do that to you. Loyalty is everything to me.’
We looked at each other for a moment before throwing our arms around each other.
‘Can you forgive me?’ Jelena cried.
‘Jelena, she’s hugging you,’ Sara responded. ‘What do you think her answer is?’
‘Just promise me that if you ever hear anything odd about me again,’ I said, ‘you’ll ask me first!’
‘Okay.’ Jelena wiped her eyes and sat down at the edge of the picnic rug.
It would obviously take us both a while to get over our respective hurts, but I wasn’t going to let Alex’s stupidity destroy something as important as our friendship.
‘How are you feeling about Alex?’ Cassie asked as she handed Jelena a cup of lemonade.
‘Pretty upset,’ Jelena replied. ‘But the fact that his social standing has plummeted is some consolation. His lie about being Aurora’s secret admirer has shown the entire female population of Jefferson High just how desperate he is to look good. No-one’s going to go near him for a long time.’
We all burst into laughter.
Lindsay sighed. ‘What a morning. Alex’s accusations, a schoolyard showdown, the revelation that Aurora’s secret admirer is a friend of Hayden’s —’
‘What?’ Cassie cried, knocking over the bottle of lemonade.
Lindsay, Sara and Jelena all tried to explain at once as they mopped up the soft drink.
Cassie stared at me. ‘How do you feel about that?’
I couldn’t answer. My feelings were too jumbled up to put into words. My secret admirer was one of Hayden’s friends, but it was Hayden himself I wanted to throw my arms around and never let go. Hayden Paris, who’d helped right my world twice this morning, whose smile made my heart leap. But he obviously didn’t feel the same way. Why else would he willingly help his friend to woo and win me?
The walk home that afternoon was a miserable one. As I trudged up the driveway, I saw the NAD sitting on the front step, waiting for me.
‘Dad …’ I wasn’t sure what to say. I was mortified to remember myself screaming after his departing taxi. ‘You’re back.’
‘Yes, honey.’ His face looked tired, not angry. ‘I shouldn’t have gone.’
‘Dad, no. You had an important presentation. I was just so upset about Snookums that I wasn’t myself.’
‘I wasn’t myself either.’ Dad frowned. ‘Dana broke up with me minutes before you arrived —’
‘Oh no!’ I cried. ‘Dad, I’m so sorry!’
He gave me a sceptical look. ‘Aurora, you were hardly her biggest fan.’
‘No,’ I admitted. The fact that the woman who’d called my aura black was no longer part of my home life was hardly very distressing. ‘But I am sorry that she hurt you. What was her reason?’
‘She broke up with me because of a tarot reading.’ Dad’s voice was bitter.
‘A tarot reading?’
‘Stupid cards,’ Dad muttered. ‘Anyway, honey, I’m sorry I was insensitive about Snookums. I know it’s hard on you with me being away all the time. I’m going to try harder to spend more time with you.’
I felt a lump rise in my throat. My dad wasn’t going to leave me. It was time to let that old fear go.
As Dad headed inside, my phone jangled with a text.
I told Carlos about you. We both want you to come for dinner next week. Mum xx
It wasn’t perfect, but it was a start. Perhaps my mother would never love me the way I wanted her to — my heart gave a squeeze as I considered it — but maybe there was some kind of dynamic there that was worth keeping and working on. She was reaching out, in her way, and I still wanted to close the crevasse between us, even if certain cracks in the surface always remained.
‘Aurora,’ a voice called.
I looked up to see Hayden dashing up my drive.
‘I have a message for you from your secret admirer. He wanted me to deliver it personally, to ensure there are no more cases of mistaken identity.’
He handed me a silver envelope. I looked at it uncertainly. How could I tell him that my heart was breaking?
‘He wants you to open it as soon as possible,’ Hayden said.
‘I … okay.’ I slowly unsealed it and pulled out another creamy sheet of paper written on with deep blue ink.
To the beautiful Aurora — I want to tell you who I am and exactly how I feel. Just like Much Ado About Nothing, all will be revealed in the end. Meet me on the school stage at 6 pm. Love, your secret admirer.
‘He wants to meet me tonight?’ I stared at the message.
‘He has a surprise for you,’ Hayden said. ‘Don’t worry, he’s a friend of mine, so it’s safe. I got permission for him to use the stage after hours. I pulled a few strings with the school board.’
‘Hayden, I …’
The one I want to be with is you.
‘He wants you to be there more than anything in the world.’ Hayden’s voice was low.
If I said no and hurt his friend, I’d also be hurting Hayden. I couldn’t bear to do that.
‘I’ll be there,’ I said, somehow managing to conjure up a smile. ‘I promise.’
He smiled back and headed down the driveway. I went inside, feeling like I wanted to cry.
I needed support. It was time to confide in someone.
‘Cass!’ I cried as soon as I heard her bright ‘Hello!’ on the other end of the phone. ‘My secret admirer wants to meet me tonight.’
‘Oh my god! That’s fantastic!’
‘No, it’s not, because —’
‘You need help getting ready, right? I’ll be right over!’
‘Cass, wait —’
The line went dead. I stood clutching the phone in the living room. I guessed the whole I-know-you-won’t-believe-this-but-I’ve-fallen-for-Hayden-Paris thing would probably be better said in person. Just in case she passed out from shock.
Ten minutes later, there were excited thumps at the door. Cass Shields, life counsellor extraordinaire, was finally here, and she’d help me figure out exactly what to do about this whole crazy, mixed-up, excruciating situation in the — I looked at my watch — one hour and forty-five minutes before I was due to meet my destiny.
‘Surprise!’
Cass, Lindsay, Jelena and Sara stood on the front step, grinning at me.
‘Your secret admirer’s revealing himself!’ Sara shrieked.
‘About time.’ Jelena rolled her eyes.
‘We brought hair curlers AND straighteners!’ Lindsay said, wielding one in each hand.
‘And perfume. You’ve got to have an intriguing scent,’ Jelena said. ‘Are you going to let us in?’
She didn’t wait for an answer. Next thing I knew, the four of them were pushing me inside and upstairs, past a gaping NAD. Excited shrieks resounded through the house.
Sara bounded into my room. ‘Let the makeover begin!’
‘Okay, first decision: outfit.’ Jelena whipped open my wardrobe door. ‘We want something eye-catching.’
‘Guys —’
‘How about this?’ Sara tossed me the tiniest black boob tube.
Cassie looked at the garment doubtfully. ‘It’s a bit revealing.’
‘Sexy, you mean,’ Sara said.
Lindsay looked at me. ‘I’ve never seen you in that.’
‘That’s ’cause it’s mine,’ Sara explained. ‘I brought it over.’
Jelena shook her head. ‘Yours, hers, she’s not wearing it. This is not a stumble-out-of-a-nightclub-at-4-am occasion.’
‘Are you trying to say I don’t have taste?’ Sara pouted.
‘Guys —’ I started again, then stopped.
I couldn’t tell them. Telling them would mean a barrage of advice. Well-meaning, but advice all the same. The decision I made about tonight had to be mine alone, because it was my heart I was risking.
I was going along tonight not only because I’d promised Hayden but also because it was the right thing to do. After all the effort the secret admirer had gone to, I owed it to him to be there.
But what I’d do once I was there was a complete mystery to me right now.
One hour and forty minutes later, I was standing at the door of the auditorium.
‘You look perfect.’ Cassie squeezed my hands.
I wore a floaty white dress, a silver locket on a fine chain round my neck and simple white heels. (Jelena and Sara had argued for ten minutes about the choice of heel height, before finally settling on a mid-heel.)
‘Thank you, guys,’ I said. ‘For helping me get ready, for being here …’
They all hugged me, and the weight on my shoulders lightened slightly.
‘What are you going to do now?’ I asked. The taxi that had brought us here had taken off.
‘Observe, of course.’ Jelena was matter-of-fact.
Sara grinned. ‘We’re going to duck around the back and hide in the wings.’
‘You what?’ I gaped at them.
‘For precautionary reasons,’ Sara said. ‘No way are we going to let you meet some unknown guy alone. Even if we are on school property.’
‘And we can rescue you if he’s a nerd,’ Jelena said.
I got a mental image of the four of them tearing through the side curtains and scaring the life out of some not-so-attractive guy.
‘For the last time, Jelena, he’s NOT a nerd!’ Sara stamped her foot on the gravel path. ‘He’s a friend of Hayden’s, for god’s sake!’
Hayden. I closed my eyes, saw his immeasurable gaze holding mine.
‘Is it okay that we stay?’ Cassie asked. ‘We’ll get going as soon as we know he’s okay.’
‘Spoilsport,’ Sara muttered.
‘Sure,’ I answered. They did have a point — there were risks with meeting someone who could be a stranger and I wanted my friends looking out for me.
‘Arrgghh!’ Sara screamed. ‘It’s 5.59 pm!’
Jelena gave me a last spritz of perfume. ‘You’d better open that door, Aurora.’
I looked from them to the door, but didn’t move.
‘It’s going to work out.’ Cassie’s voice was full of reassurance.
Something in me believed her, even though logically I knew there was no possible way it could be true. I was meeting the friend of the guy I secretly loved.
I placed my hand on the doorknob.
‘Good luck!’ my friends called, their giggles fading as they dashed round the back of the building.
My heart was in my throat as I readied myself to turn the handle. I was just as clueless about what to do as I’d been when I’d first got the message this afternoon. If I told my secret admirer the truth — that the only one I loved and ever could love was Hayden — he’d be incredibly hurt. Not to mention that his relationship with Hayden would be completely messed up too. I risked destroying their friendship with no guarantee that I’d even be able to win Hayden’s heart anyway. Not when he’d helped his friend to woo me. But I couldn’t just deny my feelings and date this other guy! He didn’t deserve someone whose affections were elsewhere.
I couldn’t put this off any longer. I had to have the courage to face what was waiting for me and do what I felt was right, whatever that would be.
I turned the handle and pushed the door open — and let out a gasp.
A line of tea-light candles ran all the way down the auditorium aisle; hundreds of them lit up the otherwise dark room. Pink, yellow and orange rose petals were scattered alongside them, as well as thousands of tiny silver stars. I held my breath as I walked slowly down the magical path, feeling like I was in a dream. Piano music was playing through the auditorium speakers.
On the stage, inside a giant heart of tea lights, stood two champagne glasses and a picnic basket. I glanced around breathlessly. The place was deserted.
I turned my eyes back to the heart and my eyes fell on something glinting near the edge of the stage. It was a scroll of silver paper scattered with more stars.
A message, intended for me.
My fingers trembled as I walked up onto the stage and picked up the scroll. Here was my answer.
My breath caught as I unravelled the tightly curled paper.
Your secret admirer is standing behind you.
I turned ever so slowly … to see the last person I’d expected.
‘Hayden?’
I stared at him, just like we were Beatrice and Benedick again.
‘Aurora.’ His voice was hushed as he stepped towards me. He held out a rainbow-coloured rose, identical to the one that had been in the Valentine’s Day bouquet.
‘I …’ My vocal cords wouldn’t work. All I could do was stare at him — everything I’d wanted and thought I couldn’t have.
‘Shh.’ Hayden held a finger to his lips. ‘Please let me explain before you say anything.’ He pressed the rose into my hand.
‘Please. I’ve been waiting forever to say it — or what feels like forever anyway.’ His chest rose and fell as he took a deep breath. ‘I’m your secret admirer.’
‘But how? Why?’
I felt like he was a mirage that would disappear if I blinked.
‘Why?’ He looked amazed. ‘Because I’m crazy about you!’
I felt like I was going to faint. Was I even hearing right?
‘Aurora, I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember,’ Hayden exclaimed. ‘Years! You couldn’t see it?’
‘You never acted like you were in love with me,’ I said. ‘You seemed more intent on driving me crazy!’
‘And you never wondered why? Teasing you was the only way to get you to pay me any attention!’ Hayden laughed, shaking his head. ‘You didn’t catch on to all my hints about us as a couple? You playing Bond girl to my Bond?’
‘No,’ I said. ‘I just thought it was the Hayden Paris ego out in full force.’ I blushed. ‘Oh god, I’m sorry! That’s not an insult —’
‘No, I understand. Admittedly, because of that ego I was a bit blind, but it took me a while to realise that my tactics weren’t working.’
Hayden’s words were spilling out, like he was worried I might be offended or upset. I desperately wanted to reassure him.
‘Hayden …’
‘Sorry, I know I’m making a mess of this.’ He laughed nervously. ‘I think you’re just going to have to let me stumble through it. Anyway, I knew that if you were ever going to see me as anything other than your pain-in-the-neck neighbour, I needed to up the ante. That’s where the whole secret-admirer idea came in. Or rather, you inspired it — I wasn’t kidding when I said you were my muse.’
‘I inspired it? How?’
‘Your presentation in history class. You talked about a knight wooing his lady love with messages and gifts. It seemed like a great idea, and Valentine’s Day was coming up so it was perfect timing. Do you remember that day I ran into you at the bookstore? I was there to buy the stationery for the messages. After we had coffee, I met up with Scott to order the flowers.’
‘But why didn’t you put your name on the bouquet?’
We would have avoided so much misunderstanding, our terrible fight, the agony of the past week.
‘You didn’t seem ready for that. I was worried you’d think it was a joke — that I was trying to make fun of you or something.’
‘You really thought I’d react like that?’
He gave me a look. ‘Aurora, you kind of threw me on the asphalt when I dared to kiss you on the hand.’
I cringed, remembering the night we’d staked out the NAD’s date. ‘I didn’t realise you were making a move!’
‘Exactly. I didn’t trust that you’d take the bouquet the right way, so I sent it anonymously. But when I came around with the balloons on Valentine’s Day, I was bursting to tell you. I wanted to kiss you — I was going to kiss you —’
I put up a hand to stop him. He didn’t need to say any more, do any more. ‘Hayden, I —’
‘Please let me keep going.’ He rushed on, looking embarrassed. ‘Then your dad arrived. You went off to help him, and while I was waiting I caught sight of your poem and I’m ashamed to admit that I read it. You caught me, and I was so angry at myself because I’d wrecked everything between us. The only good thing was that I realised what you were looking for. You wanted a Prince, someone who would fight against the odds for you. So I wrote the poem, and hoped in the meantime that with us being thrown together in the play, you might grow to like me a little better.’
I wanted to break in, to tell him about my own feelings, but I also wanted to hear more. Every sentence he said made me even happier than the last.
‘And then I found out about Benedick and Beatrice’s kiss,’ Hayden said. ‘I’d been dreaming about kissing you for so long that it seemed wrong for it to be something that happened in the play. I tried to convince myself that it was all part of being an actor, so that on the day I’d be ready to go for it.’ He took another deep breath. ‘But at the moment I bent down to kiss you, I realised that I didn’t want our first kiss to be in front of everyone. I wanted it to be real, not put on.’
‘So that’s why you paused,’ I breathed. ‘I thought you weren’t attracted to me.’
Hayden’s eyebrows shot up. ‘How on earth did you come up with that? It was completely the opposite, so much so I was worried you would see it in my eyes. I meant to tell you the truth on opening night — but the moment felt so rushed. So I went for a kiss on the hand.’ He smiled. ‘And then I was free to plan how I’d reveal my feelings for you in private.’
‘But you were so odd around me after the play!’ I cried.
Hayden looked embarrassed. ‘I feel terrible, but that afternoon when I invited you to watch the DVD, I overheard what you said to Sara.’
‘I know,’ I said. ‘It was a mistake. I wanted to explain things over dinner.’
‘I’d hoped that was the case. But then you started talking about our friendship and how you wanted to stay exactly as we were. I couldn’t handle it. I spent two days avoiding you, feeling completely miserable.’
I remembered how miserable I’d felt myself.
‘And then in history class, when I turned around and you looked at me, I saw something in your eyes. I decided to try again, but the very next day the Facebook thing happened and all the guys were going crazy over you. I didn’t want you to think that was all I cared about, so I thought I’d wait. Imagine my surprise when I arrived at school on Monday to hear that Alex was your secret admirer!’
‘And so you said it was a friend of yours instead. You had me so mixed up!’ I thought of the agonies I’d suffered this afternoon.
‘I didn’t want Alex’s stupid bet spoiling the surprise I’d planned for you.’ Hayden stepped closer and took another deep breath. ‘Aurora, I know it’s a long shot, and you’ve only just started seeing me as a friend so it’s a huge shock for you, but if you’ll just give me a chance, just one chance —’
I reached for his hand.
‘What are you doing?’ Hayden’s voice was very low.
‘Do you know why I couldn’t kiss you?’ I said, squeezing his hand. The sense of relief I felt at this simple touch was astounding. ‘As old-fashioned and ridiculous as it sounds, I was saving my first kiss for the one who was supposed to be worthy of me. I thought that was my secret admirer. Which turned out to be you! So that kiss I was trying like crazy to save is yours.’ I laughed, tears in my eyes, and lifted our joined hands to my heart. ‘Yours as my secret admirer, but most importantly, yours because I … I feel as strongly as you do.’
Hayden stared at me, disbelieving. ‘You feel the same?’
‘I only figured it out in that history class. For someone who considers herself a dating guru, I’m surprisingly unaware of my own heart!’
I let out a jittery giggle and Hayden started laughing too. And then he stepped closer and took me into his arms and we stopped laughing. At that moment, the first few chords of my favourite song, Des’ree’s ‘I’m Kissing You’, began playing. We stood at the edge of the stage, closer than we’d ever been during rehearsals, so close that I felt his heart beating against mine.
I took a shaky breath. ‘I wanted you to kiss me then and I want … I want you to kiss me now.’
‘Are you sure?’ he whispered.
I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. Time seemed to slow down to the speed of our heartbeats. My legs trembled. This was it.
Hayden stroked my cheek and bent his head slowly, his gaze still locked on mine. Closer and closer he came until the space between his lips and mine, between not kissing and kissing, was infinitesimal. This was the last moment. One second, one tiny movement, and we’d be there, over the edge. I couldn’t breathe. I closed my eyes.
Hayden’s lips met mine. Gently, like the brush of a butterfly’s wing, the lightest of touches. I let out a soft gasp before our lips met again and the kiss grew stronger. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him deeper into this new place where only we existed. It was just Hayden and me, our lips parting and meeting again, his hands cupping my face. No distance between us, just the exquisite joy of discovering each other. Lights burst in my head and my heart, and I knew why kisses were such a big deal. They were a moment of perfect happiness in an imperfect world. This was why I’d waited.
‘Perfect,’ Hayden whispered against my lips, echoing my thoughts. The word melted into another kiss.
Suddenly ecstatic shrieks ripped through the silence.
‘What on earth?’ Hayden pulled away.
I grinned, remembering my friends hiding in the wings. ‘I think we’ve got witnesses.’
Hayden laughed. ‘Another stakeout? You know, that kind of reminds me of our story, which is seriously starting to shape up like a Bond film.’
‘Hayden! How many times do I have to say —’
‘Think about it,’ he mused. ‘We did some spying, defeated a bad guy AND had a romantic scene.’
He did have a point.
‘Hey,’ he got a cheeky look in his eyes, ‘do you remember how you said that if I ever loved anyone more than myself it would be the world’s greatest romance?’
‘Hayden! You know I didn’t mean it.’
‘Well, I think we may just be in for the world’s greatest romance,’ he said, laughing.
‘I think we just might.’
I grinned as he picked me up in his arms and spun me around, kissing me again and again.
