Sitting out on the balcony, I pull the blanket tighter around my shoulders as I stare at the city lights.
It’s been a week since I laid Dad to rest and had my biopsy. The results came back, and somehow, despite all the shit I’ve been through, the kidney is working perfectly.
When I think about everything, I can only shake my head because it sounds like something out of a movie.
The wind picks up, blowing my hair all over the place.
Suddenly, Renzo comes around the side of the outdoor couch and scoops me into his arms. Without a word, he carries me through the bedroom and heads downstairs, where he plants me on one of the chairs by the kitchen island.
My eyes widen when I see all the food spread out over the granite top.
“I didn’t know what you’d be in the mood for, so I had Viviana send over an assortment,” he says as he takes a seat next to me. “What do you want to try first?”
I let go of the blanket and answer, “I’ll have the salmon, please.”
Renzo dishes up for me, and I watch as he even cuts the salmon into bite-size pieces.
Not once since Dad’s death has this man lost his temper with me. Instead, he’s carried me more than I’ve ever been carried in my life, made sure I don’t skip meals or my medication, and hovered obsessively around me.
He’s been so caring and attentive I’m struggling to keep him out of my heart.
Renzo holds a fork out to me, and when I take it, he says, “You have more color in your face.”
“It’s from sitting outside in the cold,” I reply before taking a bite of my food.
“Do you like the cold?” he asks.
I nod and swallow before I say, “Winter is my favorite season. Dad always took me –”
The pain is instant and sharp as it cuts through my heart.
Renzo places his hand on my back, his touch comforting.
I clear my throat. “He always took me ice skating.”
“I went ice skating once and fell so fucking hard my ass was sore for a week,” Renzo mentions.
The corner of my mouth lifts. “I’d have paid to see that.”
“We can go this winter, and I’ll fall just to make you laugh.”
Glancing at him, I take in the soft expression in his eyes.
Since he told me he loved me, he hasn’t said it again. He also hasn’t tried to kiss me or push for more.
Well, except for all the forehead kisses. Those I get in spades.
Even though he seemed to fall in love with me at the speed of light, it’s going to take me some time to return his feelings.
It’s something I’ve tried to focus on instead of letting my grief consume me – whether I can love Renzo.
Yes, he can be brutal and unforgiving, but he’s also gentle and understanding.
I stare at the man who’s swept through my life like a tornado. Just as I think I’ve figured him out, I see a new side to him. He’s bad, good, and everything in between.
Understanding why he did the things he did when we first met makes what I’m about to say easier.
“I forgive you.”
I watch as the words hit him, and relief washes over his face.
“If I had the power you have, I would’ve done the same thing,” I admit. “I don’t know if I have it in me to kill a person, but I’ve fantasized about it a lot since Dad died. I’ve killed those bastards, over and over.”
I suck in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “So, I forgive you for everything you’ve done to me and Dad because I understand the pain you felt when you lost Giulio.”
Renzo lifts his hand to my face and tucks some hair behind my ear, and it causes tingles to rush over my skin.
His voice is soft as he says, “Thank you.”
With our eyes still locked, I can finally admit I’m attracted to him, and it’s no longer a bad thing.
Where I did everything to ignore the attraction before, I now let it in because I desperately need to feel something good.
I’m keeping a tight grip on my heart, though, not ready to let him in yet.
Leaning forward, I press a soft kiss to his mouth, then pull back and spear a piece of salmon with my fork.
Renzo doesn’t make things awkward by asking why I kissed him, and instead, helps himself to a piece of steak and sautéed vegetables.
We eat in silence, and every now and then, he adds something to my plate, asking me to tell him what I think of it.
By the time we’re done with dinner, there’s a flicker of happiness in my chest. Forgiving Renzo was not only for his sake. I had to do it for myself.
Getting up, I help put the leftovers in the fridge and clear the dishes from the island. When his phone begins to ring, I walk to the stairs and head back to my room.
The curtains billow into the room from the wind blowing through the open sliding doors, and I step out onto the balcony again.
As I rub my hands up and down my arms to ward off the chill in the air, all the good feelings I shared with Renzo vanish, and the sorrow creeps back.
Renzo makes me feel better.
“Come inside, amo. I don’t want you catching a cold,” he suddenly says behind me.
Turning around, I look at the man who’s all I have left in this life. Without him, I’d be completely alone.
He could’ve sent me to the mansion and forgot I ever existed.
He could’ve continued hating me.
He could’ve made my life hell until the day I died.
But he chose not to.
He chose to love and take care of me.
My breathing begins to speed up, and not wanting to dwell on everything that’s happened any longer, I rush to him.
As Renzo grips hold of my hips and his head lowers, I place my hands on the sides of his neck, and press my mouth to his.
This isn’t a ‘I forgive you’ kiss. It’s filled with desperate need, and neither of us has any control over it as the kiss takes on a life of its own.
Our tongues move together as if we’ve kissed a million times, and it makes the need for more rush through my body.
My fingers find the buttons of his vest, and as I begin to undo them, Renzo lets out a groan and breaks the kiss.
He pushes me backward and shakes his head. “You’re not ready.”
Breathless and stunned, I watch him walk out of my room, and then anger explodes in my chest.
Going after him, I follow him into his bedroom. I’ve only been in here once, and again, I don’t look around.
My eyes burn on his back as I snap, “Stop taking my choices away from me. I get to decide when I’m ready.”
Pulling his vest off, he tosses it on the floor as he turns around, a look of warning darkening his features.
“Give me one good reason I should let things go further between us,” he demands.
I take a few steps closer to him, then admit, “Because we want each other.” I suck in a breath. “Because I need you.” When he walks toward me, I whisper, “I need you.”
His mouth slams down on mine, and I quickly wrap my arms around his neck so he won’t be able to pull away again.
This time, I kiss Renzo with everything I feel. He pulls me toward his bed, our mouths claiming and devouring each other.
His hands move down to my outer thighs, and gripping hold of my dress, he drags the fabric up. We have to stop kissing so the fabric can pass over my head, and the moment I’m free of the dress, I start on the buttons of his shirt while my mouth finds his again.
When I push the fabric of his dress shirt off his shoulders, and I feel his warm skin beneath my fingers, I pepper kisses down his neck and over his chest.
God, he feels so good.
His hands move up and down my sides before he unclips my bra, then taking a step back, his eyes drift over my breasts.
“You’re fucking beautiful,” he breathes while he undoes his belt and the zipper of his pants.
I close the distance between us again, and our mouths fuse together while I help him shove his pants and boxers down.
“Condom,” he murmurs against my lips, and it has me quickly pushing my panties down my legs while he walks to the bedside table.
When he takes a condom from the drawer and tears the foil open, my eyes take in every naked inch of him.
Sweet Jesus.
Renzo is pure muscle and blessed in ways no man should be blessed. He has abs for days, and the curve of his hips has my abdomen clenching hard.
“I want you,” I whisper, my heartbeat speeding up and my breaths coming faster from how perfect his body is.
Walking closer, I take the condom from him and sink to my knees. I wrap my hand around his hard cock, loving the velvety feel of his skin. Sucking him into my mouth, I moan while I lubricate his thick hardness before I roll the condom on.
“Christ, woman,” he hisses, hunger tightening his features. “If you do that again, this is over before we can get started.”
He grabs hold of my arms, and hauling me to my feet, he shoves me back onto his bed. A chuckle escapes me as I bounce on the covers, and with his eyes on my body, I open my legs for him.
“Fuck, I’m going to come the instant I’m inside you,” he mutters as he crawls over me.
He presses kisses over all my surgical scars before sucking my nipple into his mouth and letting out a groan.
My palms brush over his shoulders, loving the feel of his warm skin and the power rippling beneath it.
Renzo frees my nipple, and covering me with his body, he looks deep into my eyes. I feel his hard cock press against my slit, making tingles rush over my body, and my need for him skyrockets.
“Are you sure?” he asks.
I nod quickly while my fingers wrap around the back of his neck. “Yes.” When he continues to stare at me, I ask, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” he whispers. “I’m just taking in this moment.”
My heart melts, and I try to ignore how close I am to falling head over heels for this man.
Slowly, he lowers his head and nips at my mouth a couple of times before he deepens the kiss.
I expected hot and heavy, but instead, Renzo kisses me as if I’m precious to him. I feel his love for me, and it makes me so emotional I struggle to keep from crying.
God, will I make the biggest mistake of my life by letting him into my heart?
The moment becomes so intense I feel it in my soul, and our mouths move as one.
By the time he frees my lips and moves down to my breasts, I’m completely focused on him.
There’s no room for our pain, and the tight grip on my heart starts to slip.
