It’s a slow shift for once. This week has been overflowing with patients of all kinds. Military families that their usual provider dismissed led to our lobby full of misdiagnoses.
Marines and sailors still in their uniforms came in with injuries sustained from training or just from the usual typical work day.
A wrong decision could lead them to a chopped-off finger or broken bones. More cases of PTSD flooded my list of patients, making my heart bleed with empathy.
I will always look at the broken souls with abundant compassion and respect.
Hurt souls that have lost their way didn’t mean they could never be found. It just meant they needed one person to notice they were suffocating, to rescue them from their self-inflicted drowning.
If I could be that one pair of arms and ears, I’d always do it with no hesitation or questions asked.
I see what this career can do to some men and women. I saw what it has done to my Danny, yet he still has stayed strong and, most importantly, alive.
He has so much responsibility on his shoulders it’s no wonder his favorite pick of self-loathing and poison would be whiskey.
I’m proud of how much he’s changed into a better man for himself.
The clacking of keyboards and groans deriving from pain from the patients loom into the air as I walk the hallways back to the nurses’ desk.
I hug my jacket closer to my body and wince when I accidentally touch where Nora stabbed me.
I flinch when my fingertips touch the purple scars over my scrubs.
Even though most of it has healed, this wound will forever be fresh to the touch—a ghastly eternal reminder of the doom I faced that day.
The day my baby and I died.
And yet, I’m still here, but my son isn’t.
A dark part of me wishes I hadn’t lived. Is it dark, though?
Is it dark to want to be with my baby that I never got to kiss? Never got to watch Danny and I cradle what our love created?
I’m shaken away from those thoughts like a cloud poofing away from the ominous world I throw myself in whenever something triggers that memory.
Heavy footsteps behind me were followed by a comforting, soft voice from the nurse who took me under her wing when I first got to Iraq.
With every step I take, my muscles and joints are strained with the bit of energy I have left.
“Girl, you’re coming with me to Hawaii one of these days. It’s so fucking beautiful there,” Lori reminds me of the vacation she took with her girlfriend.
“So I’ve heard and only seen it in photos.”
“By the way, we never got to talk…”
I furrow my brows as I look at her.
“Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Those hickeys were not from Doctor Diaz. They were from Rider. Please catch me up on that part of your life.”
I roll my eyes, fighting the blush.
“Well…yes. Yes, they were,” I concede, defeated.
“Hmm, why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I didn’t know what we were. Plus, I was still processing what was going on between us.”
“Dude, talking about relationships brewing when we were in Iraq… I have some fucking hot tea about our favorite Doctor Diaz.”
“Oh my gosh, spill it! Tell me.” I look around, making sure no one can hear us.
“His wife cheated on him while he was still in Iraq!”
‘No!”
“Bitch, yes!”
“That man gives so much to be cheated on.” I frown, leaning on one side of my hip.
“Yeah, I know. He’s the kindest person I’ve ever met. The best doctor I’ve ever worked for. Some people can’t handle the long distance and the time apart.”
A wave of guilt crashes into my chest when she says it. Because when I came back to North Carolina while Danny was still deployed, it sucked. It was so hard. His absence made me question our relationship, and he almost felt like a ghost from our zero communication.
Clouds of doubt hover over my mind. The love I have in my heart for Danny is unwavering, but this lifestyle is lonely.
It ate me up inside, worrying about him when he was in Iraq, mainly because of what happened to Violet and Damon…my brother.
I swore off military men, only to get deeply wrapped up in one.
Each day that went by without him felt weird.
“How did Stacy handle you being away for so long?”
Lori shrugs and sighs as she fills her mug with coffee.
“This isn’t something new to her. Of course, in the beginning, it was hard for both of us…but she trusts me, and I trust her. Next year, we’re planning on getting married.”
“Oh my gosh, Lori, stop. You’re going to make me cry,” I shriek with happiness, pushing her shoulders playfully. I’ve always been a hopeless romantic. The thought of marriage seemed just that, a thought. Does Danny even believe in marriage if he can’t say those three words I long to hear?
If I had to guess, probably not.
“Don’t cry. Fuck, I should’ve chosen my words more carefully. I’m sor—” Lori picks up on my emotions that I’ve been trying too hard to bury, at least when I’m at work.
“Don’t be!” I wave my hands in front of me, hectically. “I’m truly happy for you. I’m not upset, I promise. I’m just so excited for you.”
“Thank you,” she murmurs, biting away her smile.
“And, of course, you’re going to be my maid of honor. No excuses!” She waves her index finger back and forth.
“Really?”
“Yup. Oh, by the way… I don’t mean to change the subject, but before we get called back to work and I forget, Violet wasn’t the only prisoner of war case. We had another after you left.”
“Oh no! Wait, how did I not hear about that?”
“Why would you hear about that? Sometimes, shit gets buried deep so the media doesn’t get their hands on it. I wish it were like that all the time. People deserve privacy. For example, with Violet. I’m sure her story being all over the news was difficult for her to deal with.”
“You’re right.”
“This time, it was another Navy SEAL. He was captured and tortured, but he ended up escaping. He saved himself.”
“Wow. Is he okay?” I’ve never heard of that before.
“I treated him for a few days before returning home. What they did to him was so evil…” She pauses, shaking her head as she recounts the memories. “Half of his face is a mystery. I didn’t get to see it. Only Doctor Diaz did and he didn’t say what he saw. One eye is almost entirely blind. He didn’t talk at all. ‘Yes’ and ‘no’ were the only amount of communication he used. He didn’t like to communicate, so that made treating him vexatious. He was a bit off the entire time we treated him. I thought it was because of all the trauma he went through…but apparently not. One of his friends said he has always been like that even before he was a prisoner of war.”
“Oh, poor guy. I’m surprised Danny’s team wasn’t called in for his extraction.”
“To my knowledge, his team was requested, but this happened when…” She trails off, looking to see if she crossed a line, but I nod for her to go on.
“When all that happened with Shane, Danny turned it down. And so his team refused to go in without him, so they called in guys from the Army. Some guys from Delta, but they were already too late since the guy had escaped.” She shrugs. “They were able to find him and bring him back to base, though.”
“What’s his name?”
“Daegan.”
I open my mouth to ask what his operator name is, but we’re interrupted ruthlessly.
“Here’s Ms. Alvarez.” I turn around to meet Dr. Reese. His silver hair is brushed back. Every single strand is completely hardened with product, shiny even. Not one single strand is out of place.
But he’s not alone. A handsome, tall man grins back at me mischievously. There’s nothing warm about the way he looks at me. He has familiar facial features.
He looks like—
“Lori, I have a patient in Room 3 that needs to be prepped for surgery now.”
Lori purses her lips together, violently annoyed, and forces a smile. Her green eyes shine with frustration.
“Of course. I’ll be on my way.” She grabs her cup of coffee and walks away.
“I’ll leave you two alone.” Dr. Reese glances back at the mysterious man. “Looking forward to our Saturday golf with the other group of veterans.”
The man smiles in agreement, shaking his hand.
“Always a joy, Reese.”
The doctor pats his shoulder in a brotherly gesture and walks away, leaving me alone.
What the hell is going on?
Is he in Human Resources?
“I’m sorry, but do I know you?” I squint at him, trying to figure him out. Did I miss something when I came back to work? A meeting with new hires? I’m usually really good at remembering faces, and this man has a face I wouldn’t easily forget.
“Ah, so this is my son’s girlfriend. The one who has made a severe impact on his life.” His tone is welcoming, yet something behind his grin says otherwise.
“You’re Danny’s dad?”
