I was nervous, and it was obvious.
I stayed quiet through warm-ups and didn’t even crack a smile at Ford’s jokes. My team was ready to demolish Green University, but they had no idea that one of them had a big fucking problem with me.
It was evident the moment Van slid onto the ice.
Savannah’s brother’s head swiveled until he found me. His arrogance was far heavier than most. He wasn’t your typical rival.
“You look worried.” Sully skated toward me and started looking into the stands. “What’s wrong? Afraid my stats will be better? They were pretty close last game.”
Like I cared about his stats during a time like this.
Okay, fine. I did a little bit.
“We’re on the same team.” My snippy response bit through the air like a snapping turtle, and I was so on edge that I almost bit him while I was at it. “As long as we both do well, there isn’t an issue.”
Sully hummed. “Something really must be off with you. Are you sleepy from your game last night?”
My blood ran cold.
“Excuse me?”
“I heard you were up late…playing with the coach’s daughter.”
I pulled my glove off, canceling out the sound of the roaring crowd. The lights changed from multicolored to bright, telling us that the game was about to start. “Careful what you say, Graham.” I grimaced and tried to reel in my temper. I needed to be careful too. “I could get you kicked off this team if I wanted, but I care more about our chances at winning the cup than I do about your infatuation with me. You’re a good player, but remember, skill won’t keep you afloat forever. We work better together, so get your fucking head in the game.”
I was one to talk. If I wasn’t thinking about Riley and her sweet laughter last night after she got over the initial shock of being on the ice, then I was thinking about Savannah’s little brother and how he had been waiting for this day for a long fucking time.
Sully scoffed. “You could get me kicked off the team? That’s unlikely.” He pulled his mask down as we headed onto the ice. “And no offense, but you need to get your fucking head in the game. What the hell was up with that warm-up?”
He looked past my shoulder. I didn’t question the flicker of realization because I didn’t have to. The wind of someone skating too closely behind me told me who it was. “Remember me?”
I squeezed my stick and stared into the stands, trying my best to avoid anyone wearing green and black.
“I know who you are,” Sully said.
He directed his next sentence to me. “And now, I suddenly know why you’re distracted.”
He skated away, and it was just Van and me.
“Too much of a pussy to turn around and face me like a man?”
“Not a pussy at all,” I said, skating around quickly and flinging ice up in my wake. Don’t let this fuck with you, Aasher. “It’s called being civil. We have a hockey game to play, and I plan to win, despite your obvious attempt to bring personal shit onto the ice.”
I learned a long time ago that when players chose to taunt you on the ice, it was because they were fearful about losing. They wanted to get in your head. Sully had done it every single time we played against one another, and it was because he didn’t have the confidence he has now on our team. But Van had a different reason for badgering me, and knowing his father, it was probably premeditated.
“I’ll never be civil with you.”
I laughed sarcastically, keeping my eye on the referee in the middle of the ice, holding the puck steadily in his hands. “Savannah warned me that you’d be like this, and I know she told you to drop it, because the truth is, her issues had nothing to do with me.”
“Don’t you dare say her name.”
I sighed, knowing this game was going to be tougher mentally than it would be physically. I pushed away and got into my position on the ice. I shut my eyes and waited for the horn to blow, trying to calm down. At the last second, I looked up in the stands and saw Riley sitting with Sutton, Taytum, and Theo’s roommate. Riley’s smile was like the sun—so warm it melted the chill I felt from Van.
At least I had one good thing going for me tonight. I knew the moment I was cross-checked by a player in a green-and-black jersey, I was either going to end up severely injured or in the sin bin for the majority of the game.
I wasn’t sure which option was better.
“What the fuck is going on?” Coach grabbed me by the mask, pulling me in so closely I could smell the blue Gatorade on his tongue. Like father, like daughter. “Tell me right now what you did to them.”
“I did nothing.” Everything was tight. Even my words.
“Then whose sister did you fuck, Matthews? Because they are all targeting you.”
I ignored the question.
“And why the hell are you taking it?” That came from Berkley. He skidded next to me and glanced at Coach. “Can I fuck them up? They’re literally targeting him.”
They were. I had fallen more in this game than I did collectively last season. Green University players were more like hound dogs at this point. It was so bad that the audience grew quiet after every fall. Whether they felt bad or were waiting for me to explode didn’t matter. I was getting eaten alive, and the refs weren’t calling them out either.
“No! We play clean. It’s part of our reputation. But I need to know what the hell is going on. Right now.”
The intermission was almost over, and I could hardly focus. I scanned past Coach’s reddening face and stared right at Savannah’s father. His arms were crossed over his freshly pressed dress shirt, and the smug smile on his face was a change from the last time I saw him. He was happy I was getting mauled, and the longer I looked at him, the shorter my fuse burned.
Savannah and I were never at odds with one another. It was always her family against me, forcing guilt down my throat until I choked on it. And that was what I was doing right now. Choking.
“It’s his ex’s brother that’s causing trouble. He’s their captain.”
Coach eyed Sully with skepticism.
Theo skated forward. “Explain.” The attention was pulled from Sully, and the entire team was waiting. Fuck me.
“Number three. Van Klein. He has it out for me. His sister had some issues, and they blame me.”
“What kind of issues?”
“None of your fucking business,” I spat, glaring at my teammates. “It’s personal.”
The last thing I wanted Coach to know was that Savannah’s parents blamed me for their daughter having an eating disorder. It was too similar to Riley’s past, and that was just a little too sticky for me.
“The only thing you guys need to know is that it wasn’t my fault. Her parents just wanted someone to blame, and that someone was me.”
I wouldn’t let Van make me feel guilty for something that wasn’t my fault. However, I wasn’t going to stoop to his level and ruin my future, because that was exactly what he and his father wanted. Michael Klein, mayor of my hometown, crippled my ambitions once. He wouldn’t do it again.
“That’s why you lost your scholarship to Rosewood, huh?” Coach’s usual temper-filled tone came down a notch. He knew?
“Sure is,” Sully snipped.
Theo glared at the uptick in his voice, but I didn’t bother to say anything. I was too concerned with keeping myself steady on the ice and not ending up in the sin bin. Anger was bursting at the seams, but thankfully I had honed the skill to place my anger on the game instead of the players.
Off the ice was a different story.
But on the ice, I knew what to do. That was, if I could stay off my back from the constant cross-checks and shoves.
Coach wrapped his hand around the back of my neck and pulled me down to his level. “Keep your head in the game, Aasher. I trust you, and I know that you can handle their shit. If you’re going to retaliate, do it subtly. I don’t want you suspended, or I’ll be ten times tougher on you than they are right now.”
I nodded and rushed onto the ice beside my teammates. I let the cool ice flow into my blood and feed me from the inside out. I thought of everything possible to calm myself down and fought like hell to regain stability, but the truth was, I was spiraling. More cross-checks came my way, and with every elbow thrown, I was spent.
We had four minutes left in the third period. Theo and I were on the line together, and he nodded to Ford, silently working with him to pass the puck. Dax came in from the left, and I skated forward, blocking out the sounds around me, but the moment I made contact with the puck, I flew forward and collided with the ice. The air was knocked out of me, and I clutched my chest.
Words were too hard to fathom or else I would have cursed.
Fuck, that hurt.
“Need a hand?”
It was a voice I didn’t recognize, so I didn’t take the bait. Don’t do it. Don’t do it. If I retaliated, especially on Van, I could see his father going above and beyond and getting me thrown out of Bexley U. I wouldn’t jeopardize my future. I wouldn’t fall for it this time. I was older and wiser. That was what happened when someone broke you and you had to build yourself up again.
Coach was on the ice, yelling at the referee. A collective “Boo!” from the crowd came roaring in like wildfire, and when I tried to get up on my own, ignoring the green jersey to my left, I was shoved back down to the ice. Another strained puff of air left me, and the Green U player was hauled back and thrown up against the glass. Ford, who rarely showed his temper, was foaming at the mouth. There was chaos everywhere, and it made me think of Riley. Is this what she felt while on the ice? Out of control of her emotions?
Coach yelled louder. “The entire fucking team needs to be put in the sin bin! Number three needs to be thrown out! At the very least, it’s unsportsmanlike conduct! Are your eyes even open? I don’t give a shit that we’re winning by two! This goes far beyond winning, ref!”
Fuck me.
Everyone was wondering what was going on.
The news would soon start circling, and people would dig into my past.
All it would take is one overzealous news reporter to pull up my hometown paper and see the drama that unfolded after Savannah left school that year. My poor parents were about to be the center of the town gossip again.
I turned to my side as my teammates worked together to pull Ford away from the opposing player. “Ford, don’t,” I croaked.
“Aasher!”
Her sweet, melodic voice cut through the roaring crowd. Coach was still shouting at the ref, and Green U’s coach was attempting to calm his players, but all I heard was her. I was on my knees, forcing breath through my rigid lungs, when I saw her wide eyes from the stands.
“Get up,” she demanded.
The two tiny words were magic. I climbed to level skates and gasped for air, ignoring pain I felt from forcing air into my lungs. Everything moved in slow motion as I kept a hold of her stare through the glass. “Look down.”
What?
I looked down at the ice. The blue line was visible, but only because her body wasn’t writhing over it like the other night when I had her at my mercy. I slowly brought my attention back to her, and she winked.
Thank you, Duster.
I nodded and shook out my shoulders before skating over to Ford. Half the team was holding him back, one of them being Sully. Oh look, he’s finally showing up for our team.
“Hey, chill.” I rested my gloved hand on the back of his head. “Let’s score on them again, and maybe next time, they will worry about winning the game instead of fucking us up on the ice.”
“Fucking you up,” Sully corrected.
We all skated to center ice, waiting for Coach to stop shouting at the ref. The game was almost over, but there was plenty of time to score again.
“What the hell did you do to your ex?”
I glared at Sully, and I couldn’t help but swing my eyes to Riley one more time. She was no longer looking at me. Instead, she was staring at her dad with a frown.
The whistle blew, and the moment I looked back at Sully, I knew I was going to regret whatever decided to come out of my mouth. I’d blame it on Savannah for being on my mind and the insults from Van, but later, when I was alone, I would admit that it was because I cared about Riley.
“No more than you and some of our teammates have planned for Riley.”
Sully did a double take, but we quickly got back in the game, and this time, not a single Green U player touched me. I didn’t let them. Instead, when Theo passed me the puck, I took it straight to their goalie, and if he were to step a hair to the left, it would have cut him with the speed.
