February in Shanghai was miserable. The excitement of Lunar New Year soon faded, leaving behind rain, cold, and humidity. Classes were twice as hard and the workload twice as heavy as the previous semester. Kris slipped further into a funk about her dad and losing her credit cards, and Blake was acting weird.
There were days he seemed like his regular self—cocky, charming, ready with a smile and a quick quip. Other days he was moody and distant, like his mind was a million miles away. Every time Farrah tried to figure out what was wrong, he changed the subject or distracted her with sex.
Ok, so she let herself get distracted. But not today. Today, she was going to find out what was going on, once and for all.
Step one: bribe Blake with food. Sammy’s freshly baked blueberry muffins smelled so good Farrah was tempted to eat them all herself.
No. I can’t. She had to save them for Blake. Like they say, the fastest way to a guy’s secrets was through his stomach. Or something like that.
Before going to Blake’s room, Farrah swung by the girls’ hall to change into something more enticing than leggings and a T-shirt.
As Farrah passed by Courtney’s room, Leo’s raised voice stopped her in her tracks.
“I can’t believe you kept that from me this whole time!”
Her eyes widened. She’d never heard Leo yell before, not even when Luke spilled soy sauce on his favorite scarf.
Farrah clutched the muffins tighter. Blake’s Modern Chinese History class was going to end any minute now, but morbid curiosity compelled her to step closer to Courtney’s door. She heard everything her friends said through the thin walls.
“It’s not a big deal.” Courtney sounded defiant. “We kissed once, but Nardo and I are friends. That’s it.”
It took Farrah a moment to register what Courtney said. When she did, she gasped. Did Courtney hook up with Nardo?
What. The. Fuck.
Who would hook up with Nardo when they had Leo?
Courtney and Leo must’ve heard her gasp because they fell silent.
Shit.
Before Farrah could leave, the door swung open, revealing a pissed-off Leo.
Behind him, Courtney stared at her with huge eyes.
“Hi,” Farrah said weakly. She held up her bag of treats. “I brought muffins.”
“I was just leaving.” Leo brushed past her. “Enjoy the muffins.”
Courtney crossed her arms over her chest. She didn’t stop him.
“What the hell happened?” Farrah asked once Leo was out of earshot. Her mind spun. Leo and Courtney were the bedrock of the group. The first couple, even if they insisted they weren’t dating. Their relationship was part of the fabric of FEA.
“We got into a fight.”
“No! Really?”
Courtney glared at her. “Can we lay off the snark?”
“Sorry.” Farrah stepped into the room and closed the door. “So I, uh, heard something about Nardo?”
To her credit, Courtney didn’t bat an eye at the realization that Farrah had been eavesdropping. She looked down and scuffed her shoes on the floor. “We made out at the Full Moon Party.”
Farrah gasped again. Holy shit.
Her mind’s eye rewound to that night. It was a blur of music and alcohol and dancing beneath the stars, but she remembered Courtney and Nardo being gone for a while. Back then, it didn’t seem like a big deal, but now…
“I thought you guys were in the bathroom for a long time!”
“There was a long line! And it’s not like we had sex. We only kissed.”
Farrah pinched her temple. She had so many questions she didn’t know where to start. “Why did you kiss him in the first place?”
Out of all the guys in the program, Nardo was the last person she’d expected Courtney to cheat on Leo with (not that she expected Courtney to cheat at all). Nardo was pretentious, insufferable, and not even that cute unless you’re into the preppy hipster type. Meanwhile, Leo was smart and kind and beautiful and, well, better in every way.
“I dunno.”
“Court.”
Courtney sighed. “I was drunk and pissed at Leo about our fight earlier that day, and Nardo was looking at me like…like he would never say the things Leo said to me. The kiss just happened. It’s a shitty excuse, but that’s the truth.” She looked down again. “It was a one-time thing. It’s not like we were having an affair this entire time. Nardo and I don’t like each other like that. The kiss confirmed it.”
Farrah was torn. A part of her knew Courtney was wrong for cheating on Leo. That was the one thing she’d never tolerate in a relationship—cheating. It wasn’t about the physical act. It was about the trust. Once broken, it was hard, if not impossible, to mend.
Still, Courtney was one of her closest friends. She brought Farrah chicken soup when she was sick, held her hair when she had too much to drink, and was always a call or text away when shit went south. Sure, she could be bossy and entitled, but she had a good heart. She was also the core of the group.
If Farrah had to choose between Courtney and Leo, she knew who she’d choose. One hundred percent.
“So why’d you tell Leo now?” she asked. She tried to keep her tone as non-judgmental as possible. “Thailand was a long time ago.”
“I wasn’t going to, but my aunt said something—” Courtney gnawed on her lip. “It’s not important. Anyway, I couldn’t keep the secret any longer and I thought enough time passed that he’d hear me out. I was wrong.”
Farrah’s head spun, trying to figure out what this meant. “So are you and Leo…over?”
“Most likely.” Courtney smiled weakly. “We were never really together, anyway. Not the same way you and Blake or Sammy and Liv are. Leo and I both knew whatever we had wasn’t going to last after FEA.”
“That’s not true,” Farrah argued. Except, looking back in hindsight, it was true. She’d inflated Courtney and Leo’s relationship in her mind when she had a crush on him because even the slightest interest from one of her friends in a guy she was interested in was a huge obstacle in her mind. But now that she was no longer interested in Leo, she realized how casual Courtney and Leo’s relationship had been, at least compared to the others in the group. “He’s still pissed about you and Nardo. That counts for something.”
“I suspect that’s his ego talking more than anything else.” Courtney sighed. “Don’t get me wrong. I like Leo a lot, but we’re not end game. He’ll cool off, and we’ll go back to being friends. I hope.” She bit her lip. “That’s what I’m worried about most. I don’t want the group to fall apart when we only have three months left.”
Three months.
Panic inundated Farrah’s system. She’d repressed thoughts of what might happen after this semester, but Courtney’s words brought all her fears to the surface.
Once FEA ended, that was it. The group would scatter to their respective home bases in the US and see each other…when? Once a year, if they were lucky, until enough time passed and study abroad was nothing more than a faint memory.
Farrah’s chest heaved at the thought of never seeing her friends again. Sure, there was social media and Skype, but it wasn’t the same as hanging out in person. Would the group remain as close as they were now if they didn’t see each other every day? Doubtful.
There was also Blake. She lived in California; he lived in Texas. Over 1,000 miles separated them back home, and while Farrah knew people who’d been in long-distance relationships, she couldn’t think of any that lasted.
She didn’t realize she’d reached for her necklace until the metal dug a groove into her palm.
“We’re not going to fall apart,” Farrah said.
We can’t.
“I hope not.” Courtney’s lip wobbled. “I just wanted us to be a family. I can’t stand the thought of ruining things again.”
Again?
That didn’t make sense. The group hadn’t had any major issues so far. But the sight of a teary-eyed Courtney was so strange, like seeing a lion run wild in the streets of Manhattan, that Farrah didn’t have a chance to dwell on her friend’s choice of words. She also didn’t dwell on why Courtney seemed more upset about the group breaking apart than she did about her breakup with Leo.
It was strange. Courtney was the bubbliest, most outgoing person in the group, but she was also the least forthcoming about her personal life. Even Kris shared more than she did. It wasn’t something you noticed until you really thought about it, because Courtney did such a good job of glossing over ugly realities and papering them with bright, shiny wallpaper.
“You won’t. Like you said, Leo will cool off and things will go back to normal,” Farrah said. She didn’t push Courtney for clarification on what she meant by “again.” She knew, better than anyone, that some secrets weren’t meant to be shared. “In the meantime, I have muffins from Sammy.” She raised the bag as proof. “Guaranteed to make you feel better or your money back, no questions asked.”
Courtney laughed. She dabbed a tear from her cheek and tossed her hair over her shoulder. “Give me those.”
Farrah did.
She and Courtney spent the night binge-eating and watching K-dramas, and it felt so nice and comforting that Farrah almost forgot about Blake’s strange behavior. She still needed to talk to him, but that could wait.
Courtney needed her now.
