The rays warmed Farrah’s skin like a luxurious blanket, the sound of water lapping against the shore provided a soothing natural soundtrack, and the coconut drink next to her was the best she’d ever tasted.
Life was good.
She propped herself up to take another sip of her drink.
“You’re blocking my sun,” Kris said.
“Sorry.” Farrah lay down. Despite their idyllic setting, Kris was grumpier than usual.
“Cheer up.” Courtney stretched her arms over her head. Hours of sun had darkened her freckles until they resembled a constellation of stars across her nose and cheeks. “Look at this place. How can you not be happy here?”
Koh Samui was a popular tourist destination, but the group was lucky enough to stumble on this remote beach on their way back to the resort. Swaying coconut palms, big boulders framing the pristine stretch of powdery white sand, crystal water that glittered like a sheet of aquamarine beneath the sun. It was a tropical postcard come to life.
“It’s my dad’s stupid girlfriend.” Kris adjusted her sunglasses. “She convinced him to spend Christmas in Aspen. Aspen! It’ll be snowing and shit. I mean, who wants a white Christmas?”
The rest of the group exchanged glances.
“Uh, is that a rhetorical question?” Sammy asked.
Kris ignored him. “We’ve spent every Christmas in St. Barths since I was five. It’s tradition. Now this girl waltzes in and tries to change everything.” She sighed. “On the bright side, Daddy feels so bad he’s buying me Harry Winston for Christmas. He usually gets me Tiffany.”
“There’s a diamond lining in every cloud,” Leo deadpanned, earning himself a jab in the ribs from Courtney.
His sarcasm went over Kris’s head. “True.”
Farrah stifled a laugh.
Meanwhile, Olivia was trying to engage Nardo in conversation, a clear sign of how much she liked Sammy. She thought Nardo was a pompous, mansplaining jerk, but he was Sammy’s best friend, for reasons no one could fathom. Sammy was the most likable guy on the planet; Nardo was not.
“Whatcha reading?” Olivia flipped onto her stomach to peer at the thick tome in Nardo’s hands.
“A book.”
“No shit, Sherlock. What book?”
Nardo pushed his glasses up on his nose. He was the palest in the group and slathered on half a bottle of sunscreen before they hit the beach. Even so, Farrah could see the skin on his back turning pink. “War and Peace and War.”
“You mean War and Peace.”
“No, that’s a 19th-century novel by Leo Tolstoy about the French invasion of Russia. This is War and Peace and War by Peter Turchin. It explores the rise and fall of empires from the perspective of evolutionary biology.”
Olivia’s eyes glazed over. “Wow. Fun beach read.”
“Do you know you talk like a human Wikipedia?” Farrah asked.
Nardo looked touched. “Thank you.”
Sammy rolled over onto his side and kissed Olivia’s shoulder. “He’s always been this way. You should see our dorm at Harvey Mudd. It’s packed with political history books.”
Olivia wrinkled her nose. “Aren’t you guys math majors?”
“I’m economics.” Nardo returned to his book. “You can read outside your major.”
“I know. I just finished Crazy Rich Asians.”
Farrah’s face split into a huge grin at the look on Nardo’s face.
“Excuse me. I thought we were on vacation.” Courtney snatched the book from Nardo’s hands, ignoring his cry of protest. “Let’s do something fun.”
“We are doing something fun,” Sammy said. “We’re at the beach.”
“No, something fun. I know!” Courtney snapped her fingers. “Let’s go skinny dipping!”
Farrah’s eyes widened in horror.
“I love you, but that’s the worst idea I’ve ever heard.” Olivia’s expression matched Farrah’s. “It’s broad daylight.”
“So? We’re among friends. Live and let live, Liv.”
“No, thanks.”
Luke raised his hand. “I’ll do it.”
“Me too,” Nardo said.
Every head whipped in his direction.
“You will?” Sammy asked, mouth agape.
Nardo’s cheeks matched his back. “Like Courtney said, we’re on vacation.”
“Great,” Kris said. “See what you did, Court? Now we’ll have to see Luke and Nardo naked.”
The boys looked at each other. Without saying a word, they gathered handfuls of sand and tossed them at Kris before she could duck out of the way. Her mouth froze into a shocked O as the grains peppered her hair and cleavage.
Everyone burst into laughter.
“Blech!” Kris sputtered. “I have sand in my mouth! I’m going to kill you guys.” She tried to wipe the sand from her face and smeared it further across her cheeks.
They laughed harder.
“A skinny dip will get the sand off. Come on, guys, don’t be boring,” Courtney wheedled.
“Chill,” Leo said. “The Full Moon Party is tonight. We’ll have fun then.”
“I am chill. Excuse me for trying to make sure everyone enjoys themselves.”
“We are enjoying ourselves,” Leo argued. “People know how to have fun without you. We don’t have to do everything you say all the time.”
The laughter stopped.
Farrah’s heart pounded like a carpenter hammering a nail into the wall. Courtney and Leo didn’t fight. Ever. He was too easygoing, and she was…well, she was Courtney.
“What did you say?” Courtney’s face turned red.
He pinched his temple. “Let’s not do this now.”
“Oh, we are doing this now. You started it. Finish it.” The challenge was clear.
“I’m just saying, you don’t have to be such a control freak all the time.”
Kris flinched.
Olivia buried her face in Farrah’s shoulder.
“Control freak?” Courtney was Mount Etna waiting to erupt. Farrah saw steam pouring out of her ears. “Screw you! It’s easy for you to be the chill, laid-back one. I’m the one who makes sure we have fun. I come up with the activities. I keep this group together. We wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for me!”
“Listen to yourself.” Leo’s sharp tone sent a ripple of shock through the group. “No one asks you to do those things. It’s like you have some sort of god complex.”
Courtney, Olivia, and Farrah gasped at the same time.
“Leo.” Kris took off her sunglasses and flicked some sand off her shoulder. Her voice was glacial. “You should go back to the hotel.”
“Gladly.” Leo tossed his towel over his shoulder and walked off, leaving silence in his wake.
“That escalated quickly,” Luke finally said.
“Are you ok?” Farrah wasn’t sure what to say. They’d never had a big fight in the group before.
“Yeah. I can’t believe him. God complex.” Courtney squirted sunscreen into her palm and rubbed it onto her arms with more force than necessary. “I don’t have a god complex.”
Nardo coughed.
“Of course you don’t. You take charge, and he can’t handle it.” Kris put her sunglasses back on. “Guys. If you ask me, they’re not worth the trouble.”
“Thanks a lot,” Sammy said.
Olivia patted his hand. “Don’t worry, sweetie. You’re the exception.”
The group settled into an uneasy silence.
Farrah tried to focus on the sound of the waves, but her mind was running a million miles a minute. She used to fantasize about Courtney and Leo breaking up. They’d part amicably, Leo would realize he’d been in love with Farrah all along, and Courtney would give them her blessing.
She didn’t know when or how, but somewhere along the way, that fantasy had dissolved.
Farrah didn’t want Courtney and Leo to break up. She wanted the group to stay the way it was. Their collective friendship meant more than any selfish individual desire.
Farrah squeezed her eyes shut and quieted her thoughts enough to let the warmth and waves work their magic.
It was so nice here. She didn’t want to go back to Shanghai. She wanted to stay here forever. Who was in Shanghai, anyway?
Blake. Blake’s in Shanghai.
The thought was so unexpected it kicked Farrah right out of her dreamy state. She was in paradise. What was she doing thinking about Blake and his dimples and his muscles? Good Lord, those muscles. He could probably bench-press her without breaking a sweat.
Farrah’s mouth dried. She wondered what he was doing. Going out every night? Having wild monkey sex with a rotating cast of girls in every corner of the dorm?
Probably. She hadn’t seen him hook up with anyone since the program started, but that didn’t mean he didn’t do it. You couldn’t be a college guy who looked like that and not be getting some on a regular basis.
It was the wrong mental route to take because Farrah couldn’t keep the resulting flood of images at bay.
Blake naked. Blake and faceless girl having sex in his room. Blake and faceless girl having sex in the kitchen. Blake and Farrah having sex in the student lounge.
Whoa. Where the hell did that come from?
Farrah’s eyes flew open. She slammed her mental gate down in panic and stopped the images in their tracks. They continued to hover near the entrance, waiting for an opportunity to sneak back in.
Her heart beat double time. The last fantasy came through so vividly she might as well have broadcast it to the world.
Farrah snuck a peek at her friends. They lolled on their beach towels, oblivious.
She squeezed her eyes shut again. Think of Leo. Think of the Full Moon Party. Think of grandma in her old pink pajamas.
Nothing worked. The fantasy of her and Blake pushed against her consciousness. If she let herself, she could still see it—her soft flesh pressed against Blake’s hard muscles, his hands gripping her hips, their mouths fused in a hungry embrace.
A surge of heat coursed through her body. Farrah flipped onto her stomach and buried her face in her arms. The ache remained.
“Wait! My timer didn’t go off yet,” Olivia protested. “We’re supposed to flip every 20 minutes.” She poked Farrah’s back. “Hmm. You are kind of red. Maybe you should apply more sunscreen.”
“I’m fine,” Farrah said, her voice muffled.
“I’m reapplying for you. Stay still.”
Farrah didn’t resist as Olivia slathered her with SPF 50. Instead, she lay there and wondered why, exactly, she was fantasizing about sex with Blake Ryan.
Deep down, she knew the answer.
I am so screwed.
