THE NEXT DAY at school is more of the same, with me avoiding everyone in the dining hall because Mercedes has chosen to ignore me completely. I think she’s angry I insulted her for the way she got West to ask her on a date.
I still can’t believe he’s taking her out Saturday. Just the idea of them together. Of him touching her. Kissing her …
I cannot stand it.
At lunch, I hide out in the library because it seems like the safest place. Hardly anyone is in here and the librarian is an old woman with curling gray hair and a permanent scowl on her face. Like she sucked on a lemon and it was so bitter, her expression got stuck.
I steer clear of her desk and make my way to the back of the building where I find an empty table tucked deep within the stacks. I settle in and open my book bag, about to pull out my sandwich bag of baby carrots when I hear someone clear their throat.
Glancing up, I look around, seeing no one.
Shrugging to myself, I open the bag, pulling out a single baby carrot and putting it in between my teeth. The crunch is so loud, I swear I hear the librarian shush me from the other side of the room, along with a faint giggle.
Someone is back here with me, and it’s a female someone.
I swallow down the carrot and take a sip from my water bottle, waiting for the mystery person to show themselves. I swear I can feel their eyes on me, watching. Amused by my confusion.
Exasperated, I finally have to say something.
“It’s rude not to show yourself.” My gaze scans the rows of bookshelves in front of me, searching for a face peeking between them. “And it’s really rude to stare.”
A sigh sounds then finally, the mystery person reveals herself.
“Hey.” The girl waves at me and I take her in, mentally noting her features. Long red hair, pulled back into a low ponytail, her fresh face dotted with freckles, her expression shy. She’s wearing the Lancaster uniform, even the jacket, and there’s not a wrinkle in sight. “You’re Carolina Lancaster, right?”
Here we go. If she has something awful to tell me, she may as well just come out with it. “Whoever sent you, you can tell them to go fuck themselves.”
Her golden-brown eyes go wide, a shocked gasp escaping her. “No one … sent me here.”
“Then why are you looking for me?” I arch a brow.
“I’ve spent every lunch in this library since school started, so if anything, you’re infringing on my territory.” Her voice trembles on the last couple of words and I almost feel sorry for her.
I contemplate her and she watches me right back, shifting from one foot to the other, clearly uncomfortable. “No one sent you to look for me?”
She slowly shakes her head, her ponytail swinging.
“Not even Weston Fontaine?” I hate the fact that I said his name out loud. Hate it.
“He doesn’t even know I exist.” She rolls her eyes.
I sit up straighter, relief flooding me. “Be glad. He’s the last person you want acknowledgment from.”
Her smile is faint and she takes a single step forward. “So, you are Carolina.”
“I am.” I tilt my head. “Who are you?”
“Sadie Swanson.” She tucks a stray hair behind her ear, that tiny smile still curving her lips. “I’m new here. Just transferred like you.”
Her circumstance is nothing like mine, though I don’t bother correcting her. “You’re a senior?”
She shakes her head. “A junior. But I’ve been doing online courses the last couple of years and I can graduate this year if I want to. My mom wanted me to experience high school like a real American.”
Maybe our circumstances are similar after all. “Where have you been?”
“Traveling all over Europe with my family. They’re not big on conventional lives but when my father had a heart attack, his cardiologist suggested he slow down for a bit. My parents bought a house in Brooklyn and decided my brother and I needed to go to school like real kids. My brother is twelve. He’s having the time of his life away at boarding school, but me?”
“You’re not?” A house in Brooklyn. That sounds … depressing.
Sadie shakes her head. “My brother is loud and obnoxious and I’m just … not. I prefer to hide away in the library.”
“This is where you’ve spent every lunch since school started?” We’ve been here almost a month.
She nods. “I don’t mind it in here. If you avoid Miss Taylor, it’s not so bad.”
“Who’s Miss Taylor?”
“The librarian. God, she’s mean.” She laughs.
I can’t help it, I do too.
The hopeful glint in Sadie’s eyes is obvious. “Can I sit down?”
“Sure.” I wave a hand at the chairs across from me and she eagerly pulls one out, settling into it and scooting closer to the table. She rests her arms on top of the table and watches me with a contemplative glow in her gaze.
“So what’s it like?” she asks after a few seconds pass.
“What’s what like?”
“Being at a school where your family owns it?”
“You want the truth?” I glance to my left, then my right, like someone might be lingering nearby and could hear me. I lean across the table, my voice going low. “It’s fucking awful.”
A shocked burst of laughter leaves Sadie and she covers her mouth with her fingertips, stifling the noise while Miss Taylor shushes her from her post at the front of the room. “I totally agree. This school is an absolute nightmare.”
Her admission also makes me laugh. “They’re all such snobs.”
“And mean,” Sadie adds.
“Terribly mean,” I agree.
“My first day on campus, this one guy ran right into me, almost like he did it on purpose.” Sadie shakes her head. “He knocked my books right out of my arms.”
“Did he apologize?”
“Of course not. When I yelled at him, he shrugged and said I should’ve had everything in a backpack.”
“Why didn’t you have a backpack?”
“I don’t know. I was trying to figure out which books I could leave in my locker and which ones I needed to take with me. I’m a disorganized mess. My dad always likes to say I bring chaos everywhere I go.” Her expression turns somber, her gaze distant. “I miss him. I hate being so far from my family.”
“Have you ever gone to boarding school before?”
She shakes her head. “My mom did and she wanted the same education for me and my brother, so here I am.”
I push my plastic bag of baby carrots toward her. “Want one?”
“Sure.” She takes a carrot and chews on it thoughtfully, her gaze locked on the bag. “Is that all you’re having for lunch?”
“I haven’t been exercising like I usually do since I got here, so I have to watch what I eat or I’ll get fat,” I explain.
Her brows shoot up. “You’re not even close to fat. Aren’t you a famous dancer?”
“I don’t know about famous.” I grab another carrot and munch on it, swallowing it down before I answer. “But yes. I’m a dancer.”
“In London.” When I nod, she continues, “I saw your performance in Paris over the summer.”
My entire body stiffens at the memory of Paris. The connection I have to stupid West. “Oh really.”
“It was beautiful. You’re a gorgeous dancer. When I was little, I thought about being one. I dreamed of it actually. I wanted to perform in The Nutcracker and wear a giant pink tutu.” A sigh leaves her at the memory.
“Thank you.” I’ve danced The Nutcracker many times, in a variety of roles over the years. “You’ve traveled a lot?”
“Everywhere. My parents, um, they have a … YouTube channel,” she admits hesitantly.
It takes me a moment, but then realization clicks in my brain. “Wait a minute. Are you part of the traveling Swansons?”
Sadie nods, her cheeks turning pink. “Yeah. It sucks.”
Her family is known for traveling all over the world and filming everything along the way. They lead an unconventional lifestyle, the kids never in school, wandering the world like nomads and making endless discoveries.
“That’s so interesting.” Her parents—the entire family—are famous. Internet famous. “Don’t they have like ten million subscribers on their channel?”
“Closer to fifteen but who’s counting?” She laughs, throwing her hands up in the air in a helpless gesture. “I hate it. The entire world has watched me grow up and it’s embarrassing.”
It felt like the world watched me grow up too, but not in the same way they obviously did to Sadie. “There are probably some embarrassing videos out there, huh?”
Her cheeks turn pink and she hides her eyes for a moment. “The absolute worst videos you’ve ever seen. It’s so humiliating but my parents don’t care. They think it’s cute.” She makes a face. “This is why I hide out in the library. I don’t want any of those assholes figuring out who I really am.”
I can relate, because I feel the same way. I don’t want people knowing who I am, though it’s already too late for that.
“Have you made any friends at all?” I ask, keeping my voice gentle, like she’s a wild animal I don’t want to startle and make run away.
“Not really. Everyone is so stuck up here. Someone said I don’t belong here because they’d never heard of me before, and I was blown away by that. Like, what does it matter what my last name is, or what old-moneyed family I come from? Can’t they just try and get to know me for who I am? Sheesh.” She curls her arms together on the table and rests her head on top of them, hiding her face. “It sucks here.”
Her muffled complaint hurts my heart and I actually reach out and touch her, resting my hand on her arm. “It’s going to be okay.”
Shock courses through me the moment I touch her and I retract my hand, settling it in my lap. How … strange.
I actually feel bad for Sadie. And I don’t even know her.
But I can definitely relate to her.
She lifts her head, her expression bleak. “You really think so?”
I nod, offering her a smile.
I have to think so. Otherwise …
What do either of us have to look forward to?
