Two weeks had gone by since my meltdown at the premiere.
Two long weeks of waiting for Jax to leave our little town to go back to his skyscrapers and flashing lights.
Also, two weeks of me moping because Jay would be flying out soon to Los Angeles to find an apartment and start his mentorship.
Vick tried to get me to go out to the clubs with them. She even admitted she’d gone out with them a few nights back. I wanted to accuse her of joining the enemy but I just quietly declined her invites. Every time, she threw her hands in the air and left me in my own misery.
Rome wasn’t so willing to accept Jax. He would stare at me like a pitiful puppy and then say he was going out. He didn’t go out with Jax though. He went out on his own a lot, probably to drink away his own demons.
Katie showed up and disappeared like she always did, but she never brought up Jax or Jay. They’d been a part of our lives too long, so she was used to my moodiness.
Then, my very small school break came to an end, and my only summer class started. After attending it, I found myself dialing Jay’s number. More like pounding his number onto my touch screen phone.
He grumbled something when he picked up, and I laid into him. “You told me this class would be a breeze. That the professor is all Hyde no Jekyll, Jay. Mr. Gremble or something.”
He mumbled something else.
I took a breath, trying to calm myself.
“The professor is more like a gremlin!” I screamed the last word, not calming myself at all. “You’d better be ready to teach me everything. You’re leaving in a few days, and I can’t fail this class.”
I sucked in air because if I didn’t I would panic.
“Shit, Brey, I didn’t know Mr. Gremble would be teaching it. He normally doesn’t teach summer classes.”
“You didn’t know? I told you probably five times. I specifically asked you about the professor. You waved me off and said I would do great and that this class would look wonderful on my—”
He cut me off. “Jesus, it doesn’t matter, Brey. You’ll be fine. Do we have to do coffee today? My head’s going to explode.”
I could practically smell the alcohol through the phone. “Fine? Are you serious? I can’t do just fine. I need good grades!” He was right, a B wouldn’t kill me academically.
Only emotionally.
And mentally.
I got straight A’s. Not A minuses or B pluses.
If I got a B, it would make all my work to get the A’s totally irrelevant.
I shook my head. “I’m already halfway to the café, and you promised. I can’t help that you infuse your blood with liquor every night.”
“What the hell time is it?” he asked, sounding unconcerned.
I hesitated on project rant-until-I-one-hundred-percent-find-blame-in-Jay. It wasn’t his fault that I made the horrible mistake of picking up an accelerated investment class for the summer or that the class started at seven in the morning. This class was supposed to add to my business major but the more I looked over the material, the more I dreaded it.
“Nine. You said coffee shop at nine thirty on Tuesday. Not me. I need your help on this or I will fail. Not just C or D grade but fail …”
I heard a rumble of laughter that seemed all too familiar. At first, I was shocked, then furious.
“Do you have me on speaker phone while Jax is with you, you jerk?” I said far too loudly.
“Damn, Brey. Too loud. Seriously, I can’t talk about this right now …” I heard rustling like he might be getting out of bed.
“Peaches …” The voice I dreaded and looked forward to all at once rumbled through the phone. It sounded so close that it caused goose bumps to form along my neckline.
I didn’t answer him. Instead, I continued to walk to campus and tried to focus on how ghostly it had become. No students bustled or basked on the grassy hill. There weren’t bikes speeding by when I made it to the crosswalk either. The breeze rustled through the trees and through my black maxi dress.
He breathed a sigh into the phone, and I just knew he was running his hands through his hair. How was it that after all this time I could still know that, still see him doing it perfectly?
“You know, normally people talk when they are on the phone with each other.”
“Normally, people talk to the person they called. Not with the person who hijacked the phone.”
“Jay handed me the phone. He’s dead to the world.” I heard the smirk in his voice.
“If you didn’t drag him out every night to party—”
He cut me off. “Pause what you’re about to say, babe. Think about Jay. He parties harder than anyone I’ve ever met. And I’ve met a lot of people. His ass keeps dragging me out.”
“Doubtful.” Why did I sound so childish? I sighed. “Look, could you just make sure Jay meets me at The Corner sometime this morning. I need help studying for this investment class.”
“No problem, Peaches.”
I started to tell him not to call me that but heard him click the phone off before I could.
I stomped the rest of the way to the cafe. When I walked in, The Corner mirrored the ghost town outside. Normally, the bustle of college students made for a ten-minute wait.
Instead, Jackie, my favorite barista, waved me over right away. “Brey! Thank God you’re here. I’m about to fall asleep.”
I laughed as I dropped my book bag on a chair and made my way over to the counter. “Oh please. You probably don’t ever sleep. You’re like a cheetah on speed.”
Her laugh boomed through the empty shop. “You’re right. I have permanent insomnia or some shit. I was up all night trying out this new idea I have for lattes. It will literally blow your mind.” She turned and started up the espresso machine. “You have to try it. Tell me what else it needs. It’s missing something.”
“I probably should just have a coffee, Jackie,” I said half-heartedly.
“Black coffee is boring,” she said over the machine.
She was right and we both knew it. I loved trying out her new inventions. “How’s the new manager like your concoctions?”
“Well, since he didn’t show up again this morning and I had to open, who the hell knows?”
I sighed. “Have you complained? Can’t you just take over?”
She smiled as she started to pour the frothed milk over something she’d mixed. “I wish. I’m too disorganized. Want to come manage us?”
I laughed at her plea and pulled a barstool over to the side counter. The eclectic style of the café allowed customers to sit at a sidebar and watch their coffees being made.
“I’m serious! Don’t laugh. We would be awesome together. You make a damn good cup of coffee already.” She talked like a cheetah on speed too. “You could help me with concoctions. I’d teach you all the rest behind the counter, and you could teach me the business side of it.”
I waved off her idea as she slid the drink over to me to try. Jackie didn’t know I had my sights set on a different business to run.
My mother had given so much back to a little home on the reservation. I avoided it when she passed away but finally pushed myself to go visit after they consistently reached out. I thought I would just go one time, it would be a formal, quick trip. The home was a safe haven for those who didn’t have anywhere else to go a lot of the time. And for me, it became that and more. A way for me to keep my mother’s dreams alive, a way for me to connect to her, a way for me to move toward my future while still connecting with my past.
I wanted to invest well enough to expand that home and help those kids always.
I took a sip, closed my eyes and let the flavors take over. Hints of caramel and pecans accented the bold flavor of cinnamon. The sweet milk reminded me of a chai latte on steroids. I moaned as memories of Christmases and Jax washed over me. The drink was literally a trigger.
When I’d finally swallowed, I opened my eyes. “This is fucking orgasmic, Jackie.”
She beamed. “I made you swear and say ‘orgasmic’ in the same sentence. I knew it was a winner!”
We both jumped when we heard from behind me somewhat of a growl and then, “Sounds good. I’ll take whatever she’s drinking.”
His voice heated my face. Then it heated my body, my core, and my stupid toes too. I looked toward the sky and silently cursed.
I started to stand when I realized that Jackie appeared to be in shock.
“Jackie, you okay?” I asked, leaning over the counter concerned.
“Oh my God. Jax Stonewood is in my shop.” She shook her head. “I mean, oh my God.”
I rolled my eyes as I heard him approach and say, “So, I guess Aubrey can skip that part of the introduction. And you are?”
Her eyes got even wider. “Wait. You’re meeting Jax Stonewood here this morning and you didn’t tell me beforehand?” Her voice rose to a higher octave.
I shook my head, backing away from the counter and from Jax who had come to stand right next to me. “Actually, I was supposed to meet Jay here.” I turned to shoot a glare at Jax and braced for impact.
His appearance, seeing him standing right in front of me as lethal as ever, still hit me like a freight train. He dressed casually in jeans and a black shirt as if he was just out for a stroll.
As if he wasn’t upending my whole world by being in this town.
The man was a stark difference from the boy I used to know. Now, his jawline looked like a sculptor had spent a day perfecting the angles. He had age lines on his face that accentuated those angles and made him even more appealing. He crossed his arms, and I watched as his biceps bunched bigger than they ever had before. His hair was mussed as if some girl had run her hands through it before he’d gotten out of bed this morning. Somehow, that made him more attractive.
And more dangerous.
He smirked and stepped toward me. I stumbled back and tripped over a stool.
A laugh rumbled out of him as he caught my elbow and righted me before I could catch myself. As his hand touched my elbow, I held back the gasp from feeling his skin on mine again.
I silently willed myself to calm down and tried to hide the goose bumps that popped up over my skin.
“Thank you,” I mumbled, looking at his hand on my elbow, and then I slipped out of his grasp.
I felt him looking at me, questioning me. When I looked back at him, he stared like he needed to know me again, and he stood in that cafe like he owned it.
He didn’t.
This was my town, my safe space, and my café.
I hardened my gaze, not giving him a window into my thoughts.
Jackie still eyed both of us in some kind of stupefied celebrity shock. “Jackie, thank you for the latte. I should run since Jay won’t be showing. How much do I owe you?”
That sort of snapped her out of it. She scoffed at the notion of my paying, like always. “You can pay me later.” I knew that meant I would be paying her in details about Jax. “I’ll get one made for your friend, also.” She spun around and started working extra quickly.
She was now on speed for real.
I moved to pick up my bag and get the hell away from Jax. I felt rather than saw him behind me. His goddamn presence still sent shivers down my body.
“Peaches, we need to talk,” he rumbled behind me, close to my ear. Too close. “You can’t avoid me forever.”
He’d avoided me for years, and now after two weeks of trying to talk to me, he thought I should just cave?
I smoothed my hair and pulled my lips between my teeth, trying to stay calm.
Truth was, I hadn’t avoided talking to him, anyway. Avoidance meant I went out of my way to consciously not talk to him. I hadn’t. My way, since the day he’d left, had been to move on. I was simply carrying on with my normal daily routine. In that routine, I didn’t want or need to talk to him, so I didn’t.
He would sit me down and spew some nonsense about how he regretted that summer. Or he’d make a lie up about how he regretted leaving me but his father had needed him.
Something ridiculous, belittling, or condescending to the fact our relationship had been the most real, intense part of life I’d ever experienced.
Things I didn’t want to hear.
Jax would say anything to make the woman in front of him happy. I saw right through it though. He didn’t require a tell like most people when they lied to me. All I had to do was look at him and remind myself that although everything he said sounded sincere, it was complete and utter bullshit.
I sighed and turned around, my bag now on my shoulder. “There really isn’t anything we need to discuss.”
I started to walk away, but Jax stepped in front of me.
His chest flared out like he was daring me to push past him.
My body warmed, adrenaline kicking up a notch.
We’d done this dance before, and even though my mind repeated that I shouldn’t engage in it, I never listened.
Control played such a huge role in my life. I could tone down my feelings, my appearance, my life in general so that I lived the most normal life possible. I craved that normalcy.
Yet with Jax, my control fled.
He overpowered it.
He was the man who made me love men. I learned how much I craved the soft touch of a man from him, the caress of a man who loved rather than hurt. To have a man so full of power, so capable and able to harm me, touch me without injuring me. Well, quite frankly, that touch became my addiction. The touch that derailed everything.
“Nothing we need to discuss? Don’t act like you don’t remember the other night.” Jax stepped close to me, his hand hovering near my cheek but not touching it, as if he knew something had shifted within me, as if he knew exactly how I was feeling. I stared into his ocean eyes and remembered my downfall with him.
I ripped my gaze away. “I have to go, Jax.”
“You have to or you want to?”
I just sighed and looked out the window of the café.
“Jay is your best friend, right?”
I shrugged. “So what?”
“I’m his brother, Aubrey.” He put his hand behind his neck and pulled on it as he looked toward the ceiling. “I don’t regret much, but I do regret not being closer to him. We lost years, and I don’t intend to lose anymore. You’re really going to make him pick who to hang out with while I’m in town?”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “Well, I’m not too concerned. You aren’t one to ever stick around …”
Below the belt? I didn’t care. I was ready to kick him below the belt if necessary.
“I’m here for my app launch, which could last most of the summer, babe.”
My mouth dropped open. I attempted to form a rude retort, but I felt like a damn guppy that had been left out of water. Mouth open, mouth closed. Mouth open, mouth closed. I shook my head and stepped back. “No. That’s not possible. I mean, you can’t think that staying in this town is good PR. Don’t you need to promote your new app where you plan to launch it or something? Don’t you need to work on your investments at Stonewood Enterprises? You can’t possibly … I mean … Jay won’t even be here.”
“He asked me to stay at his place while he’s in LA.”
“Did he now?” I would have believed him, his lies fell just that good off his tongue, except my friend wouldn’t have kept that from me.
He narrowed his gaze just a bit and resigned. “He will ask me.”
“Or you’ll beg him,” I retorted. “You’d be surprised how little he cares about that house. He might care a little more about the whole freaking town you’ll be wreaking havoc on while he’s away though.”
My town. My whole freaking town.
“Fair.” He leaned back like he needed to relax. “Let’s cut the shit though, Whitfield. The app I’m rolling out needs to be tested on college campuses. What better college than one so close to Stonewood Enterprises? I also have investments that need attention in this region. And …” He took a sip of his drink and let the word linger in the air.
“And what?”
“You’re right about this drink being orgasmic.” His eyebrows lifted like he was trying to lighten the mood.
I rolled my eyes. Not just a little. I rolled them so dramatically I wondered if Jackie could see from the other room.
I motioned for him to continue. “And what, Jax?”
“You’re here, Peaches. And you’re much better than this drink.” He growled the last part while he stared at my lips, and his gaze shot through me all the way down to my core. My body heated, and I clenched my fists trying to stave off my reaction to him.
“Just because I’m here doesn’t mean I want anything to do with you.” The words sounded meek and hollow even to me.
He smiled. “I don’t want anything to do with you, either.” My stomach dropped, like it couldn’t handle him throwing back my words. “Doesn’t necessarily mean we get a choice. I think we can agree what we have isn’t healthy.”
“We don’t have anything.”
“We did, we do, and we always will if we don’t try to work it out together.”
At that moment, my legs gave out. It was like they—along with the rest of my body—gave up their struggle with fate.
I couldn’t blame my legs. Who in their right mind would want their job to consistently fight against gravity to keep my body away from the ground? They couldn’t win all the time.
Nor could I win my fight to get Jax out of my life. Somehow, his gravitational pull on my world had become too strong.
I didn’t realize then, I should have fought harder.
