LATER THAT AFTERNOON, I found a spot at an empty table in the quad and tossed my bag in one of the chairs before dropping down in another. It wasn’t quite as hot out as it had been last week, but I was still grateful for the shade from the honey locust tree nearby.
While I didn’t mind the downtime between classes, part of me wished I’d had them back to back to knock them all out in a smaller time frame. Something to think about for next semester.
I unzipped my bag, grabbed a notebook and pen, and then flipped it to an empty page. My mind wandered, and I wasn’t surprised who it wandered to.
A pair of lust-filled blue eyes seared my memory, and for once I wished I was an artist so I could commit them to a drawing. Instead, all I had were words. Poetry was like therapy for me; it always had been. I’d spent all weekend wondering if it was the alcohol that made me kiss West or if there’d been some desire lying dormant in my brain that had chosen that moment to make an appearance.
But none of it made sense. I hadn’t been drunk enough to not realize exactly what I was doing. Even though West made the first move, I’d asked him to kiss me again. Why? Because he’d been really fucking good at it, not because I had some kind of simmering attraction.
Seeing him today had eased any anxiety I’d had about the kiss changing our friendship, though, because he hadn’t seemed any different. He hadn’t made it weird, so I wouldn’t either. We were fine. That night could be chalked up to feeling a good buzz and an amazing view. It wouldn’t happen again.
Didn’t mean I wasn’t going to write about it, though.
Lost in thought, I didn’t look up as someone loomed over me. Once I had an idea, I had to finish writing it before it vanished.
But the second I smelled the floral musk of my mom’s perfume, my head shot up to see her forcing a warm smile.
“Mom, hey.” I sat up straight, closing my notebook before she could catch a glimpse of what I’d been working on.
“Your dad and I missed you this weekend,” she said by way of greeting, setting my bag on the ground to make room for her to join me. As she crossed her ankles, her astute eyes trailed over my face. As if to check I was still in one piece after my first week at Astor.
“Yeah, sorry, I ended up having more to catch up on than I realized.” No way in hell was I going to admit why that was the case or where I’d been. Or that my thoughts had been consumed with nothing but analyzing every second of Friday night with West.
Who was I kidding? I’d been replaying every interaction with West and wondering if I’d fucked up royally. But he’d alleviated all that stress in the easygoing way he had, and it felt like a weight off my shoulders.
Even if in the back of my mind I wondered what it meant that I’d enjoyed the kiss—
“JT?” My mom’s voice cut through my thoughts, and I swallowed, pushing aside those questions for later. She frowned, crossing her arms. “You seem distracted.”
“Not at all.” I gave her a reassuring smile. “What’s up?”
“I asked why you had so much to catch up on that you couldn’t stop by to let us know how your first week went.”
“Oh. Just, uh…getting used to everything. It is my first time living on my own, you know. I didn’t want to run back to you guys so you’d think I’d made a mistake.”
The concern etched in Mom’s brow eased slightly. “Oh, honey, we know it’s a lot to take in. We just missed you, that’s all.”
How was it moms were so good at the guilt thing? Did it just come naturally, or was there a manual?
“I missed you guys too. I’ll stop by soon. Just wanna get settled here first.”
“Of course.” But the way she drummed her nails along the table told me there was something else she wanted to talk about. I tossed my pen on my notebook and got comfortable.
“What’s on your mind?”
“I was just…wondering if you’d made any friends yet.”
The question seemed innocent enough, but the last time I’d seen her, she warned me about a group of troublemakers that happened to include West. Had she seen us somewhere? Or was that my guilt talking?
I kept it light, assuming it was the latter, because the last thing I wanted her to know was that I’d ignored her advice.
“You’re not worried about me, are you?” I said.
“I’m always worried about you. That’s what being a parent is all about.” She reached toward me like she wanted to rub my arm, but thought better about it in front of my peers and sat back. “Without Corey and Elise and your other friends here, I was just curious if you’ve gotten to know anyone yet.”
“It’s been a week.”
“I know. Sometimes it takes a while.”
I wasn’t running to tell her about West, but I didn’t think Caleb would be on her radar. Especially since he was so anti-West’s group. “Actually, I did meet someone pretty cool at the coffee bar the other day. Name’s Caleb.”
At least, I assumed we were still friends after I’d ditched him at the party Friday. Something I’d have to find an explanation and apology for…later.
“Honey, that’s great.” A genuine smile lit up her face, and she squeezed my forearm.
I chuckled. “You seem so surprised.”
“Not at all, I just…” She swallowed as she glanced away, and when she looked back at me, I saw it—the worry that had been written all over her face was back, and this time she didn’t try to hide the reason why. “Did I see you with Weston LaRue earlier?”
Oh shit. No wonder she was acting strange.
Heat crept up the back of my neck, but I tried to keep my tone casual. “West? Yeah, I met him at the coffee bar too.”
Not technically a lie, but not exactly the first place we’d met.
I lifted a shoulder, like it was no big deal. “He seems like a nice guy.”
“Weston LaRue?” she repeated.
“Yeah, I think that’s his name.” God, I was such a shit liar.
“Didn’t I tell you to stay away from that group?”
Yes, yes, you did.
“Mom, I’m not gonna be an asshole to someone I don’t know. He was friendly, so I was friendly back.” Maybe a little more than friendly, but that was the last thing I needed popping into my head right now.
“I know you always come from a genuine place, but West and his friends…” She let out a long sigh. “It’s never anything good with that group. The headaches they’ve given me over the years are only part of that reason.”
“Like what?” Curiosity had those words coming out before I could stop them.
“There’s no need for us to get into all that,” she said, waving her hand like she could swat them away. “Just what rich, entitled boys are sometimes. You don’t belong anywhere near them.”
“I guess I should cancel the overnight camping trip we planned for the weekend, then,” I joked.
An inelegant snort left her, so unlike my mom, and she shook her head. “If any of them have seen the inside of a tent before, I’d die of surprise. Like I said, JT. Not your people.”
I could hear that warning nice and clear, but she had it all wrong. Not the rich, entitled part, but that there wasn’t anything good that came out of their group. My time with them had been nothing but fun, like the typical college experience I’d expected. Parties and drinking, even with my being underage, wasn’t exactly scandalous. Not compared to what I could be out there doing.
“Mom, you worry too much. I love you for it, but it’s really unnecessary.”
As I ran a hand through my hair, I caught the stares aimed our way from some of my classmates, and my cheeks flushed with unease.
“Can I come see you later?” I said, dropping my voice low. “Everyone’s looking at us.”
A quick glance told her that was indeed the case. She let out a resigned sigh, nodding as she rose from the chair. “Don’t be a stranger, JT. And please…just be careful.”
“I promise.”
She gave me a thin smile before walking off, and as I watched her go, a part of me felt guilty about running her off, while another part had the common sense to panic a little about her warning. Not because I believed West and his friends had bad intentions, but because I didn’t like lying to my mom.
But she was wrong about those guys, and I wasn’t going to let someone else’s opinion of my new friends influence me over what I’d experienced firsthand.
I picked up my pen, tapping it on the notebook before flipping back to the page I’d been working on. Poetry had always been a way for me to get my thoughts out of my brain and into some kind of organized flow that made sense on paper. And Lord knew I had nothing but jumbled thoughts from the weekend that I needed to work out.
