Dan gasped for breath as he completed another circuit on the compound’s indoor track. Baseline testing appeared to be some sort of euphemism for torture, at least as far as his normally-sedentary body was concerned.
The nanites directed him from one set of exercises to another via notifications in the lower left corner of his vision. At each stop, he would be forced to push himself to the limit.
First, he lifted weights until his chest and biceps burned. Then the System gave him a short period of rest, but almost immediately interrupted Dan’s attempts to gather himself. He was allowed to sit, but the nanites directed him to play reaction games, tapping words that corresponded with images as they popped up in his vision as quickly as possible.
Initially, that exercise had been easy. But, as Dan progressed, the images appeared faster and for shorter periods of time. The words they were associated with were surrounded by more decoys and became more tangential to their images. Where a picture of an apple might have corresponded with the word apple, in later waves it would be linked with the words red, sweet and temptation. Eventually, just when Dan was developing a tension headache, the images stopped.
Then, before he could relax properly, a team of attendants had hurried him into a room where softballs were fired at him out of pitching machines. Clearly, it was an exercise to gauge his reflexes, but Dan was afraid his performance had been a bit subpar.
He dodged a decent number of the projectiles, but he still ended the event with both his body and dignity covered in bruises. Later, Dan was locked in a room to solve a series of puzzles and word problems while the temperature slowly increased. By now, he had noticed the pattern, alternating tests of physical activity followed by an exam of focus or mental aptitude.
Unfortunately, after three hours, Dan was just too tired physically and emotionally to make much use of the information. At some point, he had lost track of the testing entirely as everything blurred into a fog of concentration and action.
Then they made him jog. Dan was pretty sure he’d been on the track earlier today, but the morning testing had already faded into almost nothing.
Once upon a time, before alcohol and fast food had betrayed him, Dan had been fit. Not the most athletic person in his area by a long shot, but he was picked in the first five or six people during intramural sporting events at the local gym. Today, his breath echoed raggedly in his ears as he focused all of his will into maintaining the pace suggested by the System. Far from anything impressive, he was hopefully going to finish the two-mile run in right around twenty-two minutes.
It didn’t help that a gaggle of physically-fit young men blazed by him every couple minutes. As far as he could tell by their matching workout gear, they were all facility security. Every single one of them was at least six feet tall and looked like they could wrestle an ox. He was pretty sure they were all ex-marines or something.
Not that it mattered. They had already lapped him twice, and he was pretty sure he could hear them talking and joking as they came by for another pass. Dan could barely breathe. They were in embarrassingly better shape than he had ever been in. Eventually, he completed his final lap. The System activated as he doubled over, breathing heavily.
Baseline performance analyzed. Calculating results.
He wasn’t really sure that he was going to get used to the writing appearing in the corner of his vision. Henry sure seemed excited about it, but the entire thing seemed a bit off to Dan. Like he wasn’t quite human anymore.
Apparently, that was the point. He had read enough science fiction in his day to know about transhumanism, and everything about the Thoth Foundation gave off that vibe. They didn’t tell him everything the Foundation was researching, but the general theme seemed to be about surpassing human limits. Ibis was obsessed with pushing humanity to take the next step it would need to be something greater. At least that’s what Dan’s employee introduction manual said. The only real surprise in the transhumanist rhetoric was that the Thoth Foundation was decidedly less cyberpunk and more unicorns and dragons than he had expected.
Baseline attributes verified for <USER>
Body 4
Agility 4
Mind 7
Perception 5
Dan walked over to the water fountain, still breathing heavily. The chairman had informed him that an average human would have 5 in all stats. It sounded about right. He wasn’t terribly unfit, but he had fallen a fair amount from the days when he worked out regularly.
Years spent working in front of a computer and eating junk food had taken their toll. His mind was sharp, but the rest of him was… decidedly softer. He glanced down briefly at the bit of a gut that had begun to form from a steady diet of delivery. Definitely not sharp, more doughy and round.
Analyzing remaining unknown variables.
Unidentified energy isolated, designated “Mana” per System directive.
Theoretical attribute created governing mana. Designated ‘Spirit’ per System directive.
Not enough data to establish baseline for Spirit attribute. Spirit set to one until a proper baseline can be established. Please continue with experimentation to establish baseline.
WARNING- insufficient structural integrity detected in <USER> heart valve. Beginning emergency repairs. Please avoid strenuous exercise while repairs are underway. Remedial countermeasures will be deployed if this warning is disregarded.
WARNING- moderate arterial plaque buildup detected in <USER>. Please refrain from eating food with high fat, sugar, or cholesterol content. Remedial countermeasures will be deployed if this warning is disregarded.
Baseline testing complete. Please report to Doctor Weathers for further experimentation.
About ten minutes later, Dan walked into Sam’s office only to be immediately kicked out without her even looking up. Apparently, not showering after a day of physical activity was a faux pas. Almost half an hour after that, Dan was back, this time smelling like soap and wearing fresh clothes. This time, Samantha waved him into her office, barely looking up from her computer.
“Glad everything went well, Dan,” she said cheerfully, motioning for him to sit. “I’m looking over the test data, and you’re going to have to be a little sedate for a week or so. It sounds like the nanites are going to have to rebuild a decent chunk of your heart. That means lean meat, iron supplements, and no strenuous exercise.”
“I think I can handle the no strenuous exercise.” He frowned, the soreness in his muscles a dull and constant ache. “But I really don’t get the rest of what is going on. I mean, I know that science is about repetition. I just didn’t really expect the repetition to be this sweaty and painful.”
“Dan, you’re our only specimen,” she shrugged. “We need to keep you fit and healthy because you are more or less priceless. Once we start experimenting in earnest, we have no idea what’s going to happen.”
“Could you have at least warned me about how much initializing the System would hurt?” Dan quirked an eyebrow at her.
“I thought I did?” Sam threw a quick smile back at him. “Remember? Right after I promised to keep you young and beautiful forever?”
“I’m not sure that’s how I remember it,” Dan scratched the back of his head sheepishly. “I still think you could have given me more of a heads up. That was pretty last-second.”
“After you introduced me to that drunken executive from Meridian Electronics at the cocktail mixer, then mysteriously disappeared? No.” Her eyes twinkled. “Look, we were going to have to do it anyway, and there isn’t a known procedure to make it not hurt. You know I would have spared you that if I could. I just figured, if the pain was inevitable, you deserved a little bit of a surprise for leaving me to the tender mercies of that drunken ape. I’m pretty sure he propositioned me at least five times before I was able to get away from the party.”
“Wait.” Dan’s brow furrowed, “is that why you made the comment about us needing money to continue our research?”
“I’m glad experimenting with eldritch forces hasn’t wiped your memory,” she replied with a laugh. “You made a crack to me about how we would need to pursue ‘alternative funding sources’ and that he would be ‘a good networking partner’ as you left. Hardly chivalrous of you, leaving a damsel to such a wretched fate.”
“Damsel?” Dan smiled and shook his head. “I was mostly afraid he was going to need stitches. The only reason I set you up with him was to get back at you for leaving the coolant cap unscrewed when I was running the alien equipment through the kiln. I ended up covered in the stuff. It took three showers before I even began to feel presentable again.”
“In my defense,” Sam responded. “It was really funny.”
Dan snorted, rolling his eyes as he sank deeper into the chair, trying his hardest to use the black leather to massage his aching muscles.
“Still, both the nanites and your physical health are important, Dan.” Sam settled back in her chair, still wearing a smile on her face. “Even a simple test could trigger an unforeseen reaction in your body. If you’re sick or have some sort of malady like your heart valve holding you back, it might be enough to do you in. The nanites in you are going to force you into almost-perfect health, but they’re going to need help. Once your heart is repaired, you’re going to be jogging, dieting, and working out daily. You’re simply too important to humanity to die in a lab mishap.”
“Sam,” he said, making eye contact with her while she retained her seat. Samantha Weathers was one of the few friends he actually had, and certainly the only one he kept in any sort of touch with. There weren’t many other people in his life he could have this kind of conversation with. “Look, I want to be part of this project. Magic is the cutting edge, and I want to be part of exploring how it works. I just don’t want to be kept completely in the dark about everything. If nanites are the only way to do it, that’s fine, but I just don’t like feeling like everything has been decided for me without any input on my part, and that I’m not okay with. You of all people should know my problems with that.”
“I’m surprised I haven’t gotten a call from your mother.” Sam’s face twisted as if she had bitten into something bitter. “Did you know she called me about your workload at least three times when we both worked for the government? Even though you were an adult and working on a top secret project, she still kept giving me an earful. I had to block her number. Twice. I think she bought a burner phone the second time.”
“She means the best, but…” Dan trailed off with a frown. “She thought you were like my ex. That you were going to use your feminine wiles to seduce me away from her and convince me not to come home for Thanksgiving dinner. Really, I had made the decision to try and make it on my own years before we met, but Mom doesn’t really respond well to logic.”
“I know.” She looked up from her computer, a faint smile on her face. “I tried to reason with her myself the first time, and it didn’t really go anywhere. Dan, you do know that you can talk to me about this anytime, right? I might not be the best equipped to handle these sorts of things, but I can at least listen and provide a shoulder to lean on.’
“Thanks, Sam.” Dan smiled slightly. “I think it might be best to focus on the project, though. At least with magic, we have some hopes of making headway.”
“Fair enough,” Sam chuckled. “The next step is for us to monitor you inside and out while you try to use some of the alien artifacts. In about ten minutes, we’ll be heading over to the main observation lab to watch you try and get some of their knick knacks working.”
“Sure, that sounds great Sam,” he replied wearily. His eyes darted to an open tin of butterscotch candy on her desk. “Now, by way of repayment for you letting me go into the nanite initiation blind, I demand one of your candies as a reward.”
His hand darted forward and grabbed one of the candies.
“I wouldn’t Dan.” She spoke softly, trying to suppress a laugh.
Dan rolled his eyes and popped it into his mouth.
Excess glucose detected.
What in the hell? Dan grumbled to himself. Was the System actually going to be monitoring his diet and giving him crap? He had a doctor for that. Every year, they told him to watch his diet and exercise more, and every year Dan made the same excuses and signed up for a gym membership that he never used. He’d need to find some way of shutting the notifications off, because there was no way in hell he was going to give up on an occasional burger or milkshake. That was not at all what he had signed up for when he agreed to come and work for the Thoth Foundation. Or, at least, it wasn’t what he thought he had signed up for. There really were a lot of pages in that employment contract, and he had been a bit dazed after he read the salary figure.
Please refrain from consuming excess glucose, or remedial countermeasures will be deployed.
What in the world were remedial countermeasures? He glanced at Sam. She was grinning at him, shaking her head slowly. He swished the candy around in his mouth. Her smile grew.
“Oh shit!” His eyes widened. “You know I have a sweet tooth; this isn’t fair…”
Dan never got a chance to finish the sentence. His body immediately grew warm, like he had a fever. Writing appeared in the lower left corner of his vision
Remedial countermeasure intensity 1 deployed.
Dan’s body spasmed, and his vision flashed white. It hurt, but not as much as he had expected it to. Instead, all his muscles seized at once, his spasming jaw cracking the candy in two as he fell to the ground. Several seconds later, the sensation ended. He grimaced. That had been a profoundly unpleasant experience.
“And that was for getting drunk and hitting on my girlfriend at the holiday party,” Sam whispered to him with a wink while patting him on the shoulder. “Look, I know things have been a bit lax at the lab since I changed organizations, but you really need to know that randomly putting things in your mouth is terrible lab safety practice.”
Please refrain from consuming excess glucose, or remedial countermeasures will be deployed at intensity 2.
“Plus,” she shrugged apologetically, “if we’re going to fix your diet with negative reinforcement, we need to let you experience it at least once. Sorry about that; your psych profile said it wouldn’t work otherwise. You’d just find an excuse to keep sneaking sweets.”
He frantically spat out the candy while Samantha looked on with a bemused expression. He staggered to his feet, his pride the only real victim of the entire endeavor. Worst of all, she wasn’t wrong. Every diet he had tried before this had been a victim of his own willpower. Briefly, he glared at the offending chunks of candy as they sat on the otherwise pristine floor, taunting him.
“What the hell did I sign up for, Doctor Weathers?” he asked.
“A whole lot of fun, at least for me,” she replied, shrugging with a smile.
