I’ll Call You Mine – Girl In Red
school dances?” Hanna asked, pausing mid blow of a balloon, the activity she’d immediately volunteered for upon arrival. I’d not understood it at first, but now there was a dull ache in my lower back from hauling chairs about the hall. I silently cursed her logical thinking.
“Yes, although sometimes it would be easier not to,” I admitted, thinking back to the photo of me, smiling in the pastel pink puff I had worn. “I didn’t go to many, and the ones I did go to were complete disasters.”
“Awkward teenage years?”
“That would be an understatement.” I hauled more chairs around the round tables, trying to get the room ready for the dance that was due to start in less than an hour. “I almost left high school when I was sixteen to go do music, but I changed my mind.”
“And yet here you are, stuck in one for eternity,” Hanna pointed out, and I thought for a moment on the accuracy of her statement. It hadn’t been till college that I came into my own, finding my own crowd of people. But I’d come back.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” I paused, then shook away the thoughts. “What about you?”
“I was prom queen two years in a row,” she bragged, sounding breathless as she finished up another balloon. She threw it up in the air and gave it a small tap, sending it flying softly in the air away from her.
“I thought that wasn’t allowed?”
With a simple shrug and a sly smile she said, “They made an exception for me.”
“Somehow, I should’ve predicted that,” I said, moving two more chairs, pulling them out so they sat round the table. One down, nineteen more to go. Thankfully, there was a small army of volunteers helping out this year.
“I don’t know if that’s an insult or a compliment.”
It hadn’t really been either, more of an indisputable fact. There was no argument she was gorgeous: it wasn’t often you saw black hair paired with ocean blue eyes, and she had always been incredibly outgoing and instantly likable. She was prom queen material through and through. I never would’ve thought we’d turn out to be such good friends, but she took me under her wing and showed me around the school when I first started. It took me a month to tell her I had attended here myself. But the friendship had grown quickly, and I was grateful to have her. She had been a rock for me during the summer. I don’t think a single day passed during the first month that she didn’t text me to check in or arrange to meet me for a walk or a coffee. I’d forever be in her debt.
“Take it however you want to,” I smiled, toying with her slightly. She narrowed her eyes at me.
“I choose compliment,” Hanna stated, taking a deep inhale and blowing into yet another balloon.
“Probably for the best,” I smiled back at her, and she struggled to hold back a laugh, accidentally letting some air out of the balloon.
Looking a little defeated at the empty balloon, she rolled her eyes. “I’m going to go check on the punch, make sure no one’s gotten to it yet.”
“Don’t go disappearing on me, I’ve had dates do that to me before and I’m scarred for life,” I joked, turning away from her to go lay out some more chairs.
“I thought I was your date,” a voice piped up, and I turned around to find Ben standing there, a look of false hurt on his features.
Stupidly hot. He looked stupidly hot. I didn’t know if I hated the navy shirt that was clinging to his chest or if I just wanted to cut to the chase and be the shirt.
“I never said you were,” I retorted, my voice crackling into life. I could barely keep my eyes off him, and for a moment, I could’ve sworn he was doing the same to me. “My date that is.”
“But you asked and everything,” he pouted, his eyes flickered brightly, and I was utterly captivated.
God save every person over 21 in this hall tonight. It was going to be impossible to do this with him, I almost regretted asking him to come along. Almost.
“I thought you couldn’t come till later?” I asked, trying to change the subject.
I noticed Hanna had left the room, and a small relief washed over me; it was better she hadn’t seen my reaction. I bet she would be sitting there with popcorn, enjoying me completely and utterly embarrassing myself. I looked back at him, my heart squeezing tightly as I did. Was that going to happen every time I looked at him? I had to get over this. He was attractive–but tonight he blew the lid off attractive. His shirt was a crisp white, no tie, undone at the collar, his hair was a mess of brown curls I was dying to run my fingers through. My palms were sweating just from looking at him. This was getting out of control.
“My plans changed,” he answered with a shrug. “So I thought I’d come surprise you, but I’ve been left heartbroken.”
“I’m sure you’ll get over it,” I replied curtly, and I fought the urge to smile at him. That would give it all away.
“I’m not so sure.”
My heart stuttered at his words, his tone. Did he know he had me wrapped around his finger? That right now, if he said jump, I’d jump. I shook my head at the heated thoughts spilling over in my mind, the images pushing them to the surface. His grip on my bare skin, my legs wrapped around his head, pressing him closer, the wetness of his tongue against my… I stopped myself from finishing the thought, trying to cast the indecent images from my brain and toss them to the back.
“Well, you can work on getting over your heartbreak while you help set up. I need a hand putting these chairs out,” I said, leading him to where the chairs were all folded, and dragging two over to an empty table. He copied me, pulling the chairs over to the same table, unfolding them and setting them up. I tried desperately not to stare as he moved but his shirt strained around his biceps while he worked, the material barely able to contain him and I was a puddle on the floor.
“What did I miss?” Hanna asked, suddenly appearing by my side. I jumped out of my skin, my gaze finally torn away from him. “Were you… watching –”
“No.” I cut her off, answering too fast for my own good. My cheeks burned. She had caught me red handed, and she knew it. A grin grew on her lips, and I had the sudden urge to head up to the roof of the school and fling myself off it.
“You were!” she said, her grin turning evil. “You were totally checking him out.” She kept her voice low so no one else heard.
“Nope. Definitely wasn’t. I was just…” I struggled for an excuse, any excuse, it didn’t even have to be good or believable. But my brain failed me, my thoughts all scrambled as panic took over.
“I can’t even blame you. Look at him.”
And I did. God, he had to know!
“Look at that ass!” Hanna’s whisper was almost too loud, as both of our eyes went wide as he bent down.
Okay, this was a serious problem.
“I-I-I can’t, Hanna,” I said, finally looking over at her instead of the man across the hall.
“Sure, you can, it’s right there.”
“We work with him. This is inappropriate!”
She tsked. Little did she know what had really happened between us. Little did she know that I knew exactly how utterly perfect that ass looked uncovered.
“Besides, you’re married.”
“But you aren’t,” she added, taking in my raised eyebrow. “Inappropriate is how he looks at you, Ol.”
“What do you mean?”
She looked at me strangely, her eyes narrowed. “You know. You’ve seen it. How could you not?”
I shook my head, really confused about what she meant. The confusion eased from her features, a small smile replacing it.
“He’s constantly looking at you. That man can’t keep his eyes off you.”
Instantly, I looked across the room at him, as if to confirm that’s who she was talking about. “Ben? Ben looks at me?”
“Yes,” she said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I have no idea how you can hold a conversation when he looks at you like he does. Frankly if that was me and Rob, I’d have that man off to the supply closet.”
I stood still, frozen as I racked my brain trying to equate what she was telling me with what I had seen.
“Every time you’re in the teacher’s lounge, I bet he will look over at you at least a dozen times.”
Sure, I had caught him staring very occasionally. Usually after we argued, but that always seemed so annoying, and it had just irritated me more than anything else. What else had Hanna seen all this time that I had missed?
“Hey! I didn’t sign up to do all this work myself!” Ben yelled as he finished hauling the last two chairs around a now full table. Hanna looked at me with a knowing grin, her eyebrows wiggling playfully.
“Guess you better go get to work, girl.”
A few hours later, the dance was in full swing. The DJ played loud pop music from the stage and the lights lowered, turning the gym hall from a cold, large space into something that actually looked pretty cool. Dances here were always well attended, so there were plenty of students crammed onto the dance floor.
Hanna and I had kept mostly to ourselves, keeping one eye on the crowd of students.
“So, are you really not interested in him?” she asked, leaning into me, keeping her voice low so others couldn’t hear. Immediately, my eyes found Ben across the room. He was mid conversation with a group of students, some I recognized from his after school club.
My panic immediately began to increase, knowing that little shiny nugget of information that she didn’t. But it didn’t matter. Sure, we had slept together. Sure, it was great. But it had served its purpose. It put the tension between us–that fiery, unbearable tension–and made our relationship workable.
Did I picture him naked sometimes? Sure.
Did I wonder where he’d learned that little trick, the one he did with his tongue that had utterly obliterated my mind? Absolutely.
But we were on very clear terms it was a one-night thing. And I had every intention of respecting that. I could handle myself around him, I could be friends for the sake of the after school club. I could eventually not remember the way he had filled me so completely, the way my eyes had rolled to the back of my skull.
One day. In the far future–but one day.
“We work together, it’s complicated.”
“Rob and I work together, it’s not that complicated.”
“We aren’t talking marriage here, Han.”
“Oh, so are we talking about a one night stand?”
An alarm blared in my skull as she accidentally stumbled upon the truth I had withheld.
“Like that’s not as complicated.”
“But you would?”
Alarm blared louder and louder. Should I tell her? Would she be mad that I hadn’t told her? Almost definitely. But she didn’t need to know. It was done, dusted–over.
“I mean look at him, no would be a difficult answer,” I said.
Not a lie, but definitely easing us into the gray area. I was a terrible friend.
“Maybe we need to set you up. I can’t remember the last time you were dating somebody.”
“Wow, thanks for the reminder.”
“I didn’t mean it in a bad way,” she looked at me slightly apologetically. “You’ve had a lot going on, and I couldn’t blame you for hiding away a little. But I promise, the minute you’re ready to date I’ve got a list of people available.”
I laughed, the moment loosening. “A list?”
“I’ve been saving up all our single friends for you. I used to set them all up with Rosa before she moved and got engaged, so now you get them all.”
I rolled my eyes at her, remembering Rosa’s complaints at the dates Hanna used to set her up with. It wasn’t that they were bad, they were just endless.
“I’m fine. I don’t need to be set up.”
“It wouldn’t hurt, Ol. Remember how fun dating is?”
“We have different definitions of fun,” I said, with a dry laugh. “Plus you’ve been in a relationship for years now. You don’t remember how dating is, you’ve got those glasses on again.”
“Glasses?”
“Rose tinted.”
“I’ll point out it’s also been a while since you dated. It could be easier than you remember,” Hanna noted.
I wasn’t sure how to reply. I had a million excuses why I didn’t want to date. Busy with work, living with my dad, barely able to keep myself together on a normal day. But I knew Hanna had an argument for all of them.
“But anyway, it looks like you’ve got competition.”
“For what?”
“Ben,” Hanna said, with a little nod in his direction.
My gaze landed past her, focusing across the room where Ben had been standing alone. He was now joined by Kara, one of the music teachers. This would’ve all been fine, of course, if it wasn’t for her long brown hair twirling in her fingers, her body leaning to one side. I couldn’t see her face as her back was turned to me, but I could see his–and he was grinning, the smile wide and friendly.
This was fine. Fine. Fine. Totally fine. He wasn’t mine. I wasn’t even supposed to be interested. We were friends. This was fine. I was happy for him, in fact. From what he had discussed with me over the last few weeks, he’d been single for a while. And Kara was beautiful, smart, and available, and obviously interested judging by the way she had thrown her head back with obnoxious laughter.
What was I supposed to say? Or do? There was nothing. No words to describe how fine I was with this situation. The way he was looking at her was so different from the way he looked at me. And now–now he was reaching over and touching her arm, her bare skin, and weirdly my skin sizzled where he touched her, like I was remembering the buzz of electricity I felt when those fingertips had grazed my skin; how it felt when he teased me with his fingers, keeping me on the edge until I was sure I was about to lose my mind.
Fine.
100% fine.
100,000,000% fine.
Nothing was on fire and nobody felt ill watching their one night stand from across the room.
“Ms. Davis?” A voice said, pulling me from my trance, and I turned to find Sophia and Ashley, two students from the after school club, standing beside me. I blinked twice, trying to clear the emotions that had been clouding me. Trying, but failing, the scene behind me burning at the back of my skull as I fought the urge to look back.
“Hey, hi–sorry,” I babbled, still trying to pull the pieces of myself back together, like a puzzle with several missing pieces. “What’s up girls? Are you having a good time?”
“It’s alright,” Sophia answered, as Ashley smirked,
“It would be better with a DJ that isn’t one hundred years old,” Ashley said, and I laughed at the truth of the statement.
“To be fair, I think they still use the DJ from when I came here.”
“This was your high school?” Sophia asked, eyebrows raised.
“Don’t look at me like that, I’m not that old,” I responded with a fake offense, and immediately she began to shake her head, her eyes wide.
“That is not what I meant!”
I chuckled, enjoying her discomfort a little. The weight on my chest loosened a little, thankful I had something to distract me.
“Anyway, what’s up?” I asked. It wasn’t often we actually got spoken to at these events, students preferring the company of their own peers than their teachers who tormented them with homework.
Sophia answered, her tone serious. “We actually had an idea about the project.”
“For the competition,” Ashley added, earning a side eye glance from Sophia.
“Obviously.”
“Well that’s good, do you want to talk about it on Monday?” I proposed, thinking they must want to get back to their dance.
“Well, we were hoping to get your thoughts on it now,” Ashley said cautiously, not wanting to earn another glare from her friend. “We thought about using an AI app to identify people who look like people in classical paintings or statues.”
“And then, we could recreate them with a technological edge,” Ashley added.
“What do you mean?”
“Like, imagine the Mona Lisa with Holly from our class, but she’s got a microscope in her hands,” Ashley pitched.
I thought about it for a moment, bringing Holly to mind. She did have a look about her that would suit that recreation.
“Or Calvin in the Mathletes, dressed as The Scream but in the corner of his eye there’s like an equation or math homework or something,” Sophia chipped in as I smiled at the image. “What do you think?”
I thought to myself for a moment, trying to think about how we could do it. It would involve photography, and a lot of photoshop, but it would definitely work.
“I think I love it,” I admitted, pride for my students filling me up. This idea was so unique. My heart swelled as I smiled brightly at them. “We’ll have to run the idea past Mr. Bennett, but I feel good about it.”
The girls smiled brightly at me, obviously quite proud of their idea, and they had every right to be. We agreed to discuss it more on Monday, and they would run it past the others in the group, see if we could get some people on board with the idea.
Finally, I dared to glance across the room, wondering if now was a good time to talk to Ben about the idea. I was sure he’d take some convincing but when did he not?
My stomach lurched as I saw Kara was now a step closer to him, and my eyes fixed on them as her arm ran down his, the contact between them sending me spiraling.
I had to leave.
