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It Starts with Us: Chapter 21

Atlas

There have been a lot of things in my life that have made me angry, but nothing filled me with rage like seeing Lily’s tattoo and the faded scars that circled it in the shape of a bite mark.

How any man can do that to a woman, I’ll never understand. How any human can do that to a human they’re supposed to love and want to protect, I will never understand.

But what I do understand is that Lily deserves better. And I get to be the one to give her better. Starting with this kiss that we can’t seem to stop. Every time we pause to look at each other, we go right back to kissing like we have to make up for all the lost time in this one kiss.

I trail kisses down her jaw until I meet her collarbone. I’ve always loved kissing her there, but until I read her journal, I didn’t know she was aware of how much I loved kissing her there. I press my lips to her tattoo, determined to make sure she remembers the good parts of us in all the future kisses I’m going to give her in this spot. If it takes a million kisses for her not to think about the scars that surround her heart tattoo, then I’ll kiss her there a million and one times.

I press kisses up her neck, then her jaw. When I’m looking at her again, I slide the shoulder strap of her dress back in place because as much as I could stay right here for hours, I’m supposed to be taking her to a wedding. “We should go,” I whisper.

She nods, but I kiss her again. I can’t help it. I’ve been waiting for this moment since I was a teenager.


I can’t really say how the wedding went because I was more focused on Lily than anything else. I didn’t know anyone there, and after finally kissing Lily tonight, it was hard to focus on anything other than wanting it to happen again. I could tell Lily craved to be alone with me as much as I wanted to be alone with her. Being forced to patiently sit next to her after what happened between us in her hallway was torture.

As soon as we got to the reception and Lily saw how crowded it was, she was relieved. She said Lucy would never know if we left early, and I don’t even know Lucy, so I wasn’t about to argue with her when, after less than an hour of mingling, she grabbed my hand and we slipped out.

We’ve just pulled back up to Lily’s apartment complex, and while I’m almost positive she wants me to go upstairs with her, I’m not going to assume. I open her door and wait for her to put her shoes back on. She took them off in the car because they were hurting her feet, but they look difficult to fasten. There are strings, and Lily is struggling with them in the passenger seat. I doubt she wants to walk barefoot on the parking garage floor, though.

“I can carry you on my back.”

She glances up at me and laughs like I’m joking. “You want to give me a piggyback ride?”

“Yeah, grab your shoes.”

She stares at me for a moment, but then she grins like she’s excited. I turn around and she’s still laughing when she wraps her arms around my neck. I help her hoist herself onto my back and then I kick the car door shut.

When we make it to her apartment, I lean forward so she can use her key to unlock her door. Once we’re inside, she’s laughing when I lower her to her feet. I turn around just as she drops her shoes and starts to kiss me again.

Picking up right where we left off, I guess.

“What time do you need to be home?” she asks.

“I told Josh ten or eleven.” I look at the clock and it’s just after ten. “Should I call him and tell him I might be late?”

Lily nods. “You’re definitely gonna be late. Call him and I’ll make us drinks.” She walks to the kitchen, so I take out my phone and call Josh. I video-chat him so I can make sure he’s not throwing a party at my house. I doubt Theo would let him, but I’m not taking any chances with either of those two.

When Josh answers the video call, the phone is lying on the floor. I can see his chin and the light from the TV. He’s holding a controller. “We’re in the middle of a tournament,” he says.

“Just checking in. Everything okay?”

“It’s fine!” I hear Theo yell.

Josh starts shaking his remote, hitting buttons, but then he yells, “Shit!” He tosses the controller aside and picks up the phone, bringing it closer to his face. “We lost.”

Theo appears behind him. “That doesn’t look like a wedding. Where are you?”

I don’t answer him. “I might be a little late tonight.”

“Oh, are you at Lily’s?” Theo says, moving closer to the phone screen. He’s grinning. “Did you finally kiss her? Can she hear me? What line did you use to get her to invite you in? Lily! We watched people wed, let’s hop into—”

I immediately end the call before he finishes that rhyme, but Lily heard that whole conversation. She’s standing a few feet away from me, holding two glasses of wine. Her head is tilted in confusion. “Who was that?”

“Theo.”

“How old is he?”

“Twelve.”

“You talk to a twelve-year-old about us?”

She seems amused by this. I take a glass of wine from her, and right before I sip it, I say, “He’s my therapist. We meet every Thursday at four.”

She laughs. “Your therapist is in junior high?”

“Yeah, but he’s about to get fired.” I wrap my hand around Lily’s waist and pull her to me. When I kiss her, she tastes like the red wine she poured. I kiss her deeper to get more of that taste. More of her.

When she pulls back, she says, “This is weird.”

I don’t know what she’s referring to as weird. I hope she’s not referring to us, because weird is the last word I’d use to describe this. “What’s weird?”

“Having you here. Not having a kid here. I’m not used to free time, or… guy time.” She takes another sip of her wine and then separates from me. She sets her wineglass on the counter and walks toward her bedroom. “Come on, let’s take advantage of it.”

I follow her lead entirely too quickly.


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