“You have the most incredible eyes,” Toby says, and that’s when I realize he’s staring into them. Oh, fuck. This is happening. I mean, I wanted it to, right? This is why I went out on a date with him. I know he’s into me. And he’s kinda cute. We got back to his house half an hour ago. His mom and dad hovered around us for a while and reminded Toby we couldn’t go to his bedroom—no doubt a stipulation put forth by my brothers. I was surprised they were cool about me coming to Toby’s house without Ash and Henry, but I guess they know I’m safe here with the Fiores. They have almost as much security as we do. But now Toby and I are alone in the den with the TV on in the background.
“Thank you,” I whisper, shocked by how embarrassed I feel all of a sudden. I wish I wasn’t so inexperienced when it comes to sex. The thought of kissing Toby makes my toes curl in my sneakers, and not in a good way. But it’s just because I’m nervous, right?
Except I’m never nervous around Max. Well, not like this. I’d climb that man like a tree if he gave me the slightest bit of encouragement.
“Can I kiss you?” Toby asks, snapping me out of my thoughts about Max DiMarco.
I smile at him. He is too damn sweet. “Sure,” I say with a shrug.
He closes his eyes and leans in, placing his soft lips over mine. It’s not a bad kiss. He knows what he’s doing, but I don’t feel anything. I close my eyes too, hoping it will help me get into it more. Toby takes that as his cue to push me back against the sofa cushions, and I settle into a comfortable position as we make out.
I hear the soft ticking of a clock somewhere nearby and then a dog barking. Does Toby have a dog? Did he put it outside because I’m here? I like dogs. He didn’t need to do that. Are his parents still home? They’ll let the dog inside, right? Or should I ask him about it? Opening my eyes, I see Toby’s are still closed. Shouldn’t I enjoy this? Is there something wrong with me?
I mumble for him to stop, but the sound is swallowed by Toby’s mouth. I guess he takes it as a sign I want to take things a little further because his hand slides beneath my top. I flinch like I’ve been burned by a hot poker and, without thinking, I shove him away. “Stop!” I pant, my head spinning. I don’t want this.
“Joey?” He frowns at me. “Are you … Did I … I’m sorry … I thought …” he babbles, looking as confused as I feel.
“I’m sorry, Toby. I just—I can’t right now.” I shake my head, feeling like a complete idiot. “Is-is that okay?”
“Y-yeah.” He nods, relief written across his face. I bet his whole life just flashed before him, as well as scenes of torture at the hands of my brothers.
“It wasn’t anything you did,” I assure him. “I’m just … feeling a little queasy, I think,” I lie. “I should probably go home.”
“You want me to drive you?” he asks.
“No. I’ll call Ash and Henry. They won’t be far away.”
We stand by his front door while I wait for my ride. I shuffle my feet uncomfortably. “I’m sorry, Toby.” After I called Ash, I burst into tears for some reason. I’m such a freaking idiot. Poor Toby must wonder what the hell he’s gotten himself into. No doubt he’s relieved that he’s about to get me out of his house.
“You don’t have to apologize,” he says with a reassuring smile right as the doorbell rings. “I still had a nice time. Maybe we can do it again?”
God, he’s such a good guy. Why can’t I be into him? “Um, yeah. Sure.”
The doorbell rings again, saving me from having to tell any more lies.
“We’re coming,” I shout. Ash isn’t usually this impatient.
“I’ll call you, yeah?” Toby leans in for an awkward hug.
I mumble a quick yes against his shoulder before I untangle myself and open the front door. “Why are you being so impa—”
“Why the fuck have you been crying?” That voice sends a shiver down my spine, and Toby takes a step back.
I blink. “M-Max? What are you doing here?”
He glares at Toby, his entire body bristling with rage. Oh, shit. This looks really bad. “What the fuck have you done to her?” Max says with a vicious snarl.
He makes a grab for Toby, but I take hold of his wrist. “Max, stop! He hasn’t done anything.”
Max’s gaze flickers back to me and he narrows his eyes as he searches my face. “So why the fuck were you crying?”
“Can we just go? Please?”
“I didn’t do anything, Maximo. I swear,” Toby insists, the tremor in his voice all too obvious.
Max continues to stare at me. “He didn’t,” I whisper. “Can we go?”
“If I find out you did anything to her …” Max warns, not needing to finish the sentence because the threat is implicit.
“Bye, Tobe.” I turn and give him an apologetic smile. Max wraps a protective arm around my shoulders, and I’m tempted to shrug him off, but I want to get off this doorstep as quickly as possible.
We walk down the drive of the gated mansion in silence. As soon as we reach Max’s motorcycle, I step away from him.
“Tell me what’s wrong, baby girl,” he says, dusting his fingertips over my cheek. “Why were you crying if it’s nothing to do with Toby?”
I shake my head. “I’m an idiot, is all.”
A deep sigh rumbles through his body and we stay like that for a few beats until he breaks the silence. “You want to come for a ride with me?”
No! I want to never see you or go for a ride with you again, Max, because this is too fucking hard. “Yes,” I whisper instead.
He hands me the spare helmet, and I climb onto the back of his motorcycle and wrap my arms around his waist. The familiarity of his body against mine makes me smile and want to cry again at the same time. He taps my knee, letting me know that we’re about to take off and making sure I’m holding on tight. It’s one of the many small ways he takes care of me. We both know I hold on to him too tightly—in every sense of the word.
And I need to let him go.
Max drives us out of the city to the woods and stops in a small clearing surrounded by trees. He kills the engine and pulls his helmet off. When he turns, I get lost in his beautiful dark eyes. He gives a jerk of his head, and I take that as my cue to climb off the back of the bike. I pull my helmet off too and he takes it from me, placing it on the ground beside his. Shaking my long hair loose, I wonder why he brought us to this spot near the woods.
“Tell me what happened with Toby,” he commands in a low tone.
“After you tell me why you turned up at his house instead of Ash.”
“Ash called me.” He rubs a hand over his jaw. “He said you sounded upset.”
I frown. “But why did he call you?”
“Because I asked him to.”
“Why?”
“I’ve answered your question, Joey. Now tell me what happened.”
“He didn’t do anything wrong. It was me.” I go to cross my arms over my chest, not wanting to go into this with him, but he catches my wrists and stops me.
“Come here,” he says, scooting back on the seat of his bike and patting the space in front of him.
I roll my eyes, but I do what he says. Because despite everything, I yearn to be close to him. To have any part of him touching me sets my soul on fire, and like a desperate fool—and as much as I’d hate myself for it—I’d do anything for him. I straddle the bike, but he’s so huge that I’m practically straddling him too.
“What happened?” he says again, his voice cutting through me like a hot blade.
I stare into his eyes. I can’t help it. He has some kind of hold over me that I can’t explain. I shouldn’t talk to him, of all people, about this, but he’s my best friend. My real best friend.
“Things were okay,” I mumble. “Then we were on the sofa. We were kissing …” I swear every single muscle in his body tenses at those words. “He wanted to fool around, I guess …”
He narrows his eyes at me. “But you didn’t?”
“I did. At least I thought I did. But then he put his hand under my top … and …”
“And what, Joey?” he snaps. “Did he do something to you?”
“No, Max. He was a perfect gentleman. I told him to stop, and he did. Straight away.”
“Then why were you so upset?”
“Because I wanted to enjoy it. Toby is a nice guy. He’s cute. He’s into me. He’s emotionally available. I wanted to want him, but he …”
His hands ball into fists, knuckles turning white. “He what?”
“He wasn’t you.” The words burst out of my mouth, and I can’t call them back, no matter how badly I wish I could. It’s too late.
His eyes darken as he draws a deep breath through his nose.
“We kissed for almost ten minutes, and I felt nothing. When I’m with you, I feel—” My throat tightens, and I swallow before I say too much.
“What do you feel with me?” he asks, probing even though I don’t want him to. He already has too much of me, I can’t give him more. But the way he looks at me, with such longing and intensity, it breaks through every single defense I have.
“Alive,” I whisper. “Like my soul is on fire. And when you kiss me—” I suck in a breath that makes me cough and stutter. “T-Toby was sweet and gentle and kind, but I don’t want that, Max. I want to feel the bite of fingertips digging into my flesh, teeth biting at my skin. I want a hand around my throat.”
His tattooed hand moves so fast I barely have time to blink before it’s wrapped around my neck. He squeezes gently. “Nobody puts a hand on your throat, baby girl. Nobody but me. Ever. You got that?” Wet heat pools between my thighs. He dips his head and runs his nose along my jawline as his fingertips flex on my throat. “What happens when I kiss you?” His harsh whisper sends a shiver down the length of my spine.
“I get this ache,” I pant, my heart rate doubling as I gasp for breath.
His grip loosens. “Breathe, Joey.”
I blink at him, his dark eyes burning into mine as I regulate my breathing.
“Where do you ache, baby girl?”
“B-between my thighs.”
He arches one eyebrow. “What kind of ache?”
“Like …” I dart out my tongue and run it over my bottom lip. “It makes me feel wet and needy.”
“Yeah?” His free hand slides up my thigh until his fingers hover over the button of my jeans.
“Max,” I whimper, rocking my hips.
He opens my jeans with ease, and then his hand is in my panties and my blood thunders through my veins while wetness surges between my thighs. His fingertip brushes my clit. I tremble. “Fuck, you are wet, baby,” he says with a groan. “Who did this to you?”
I moan. “It’s all you.”
He removes his other hand from my throat and tangles it in the hair at the back of my head. Pulling my head back, he slides his hand deeper into my panties. My back arches into the pleasure, giving his wicked mouth better access to my neck. He takes full advantage, trailing his teeth over my sensitive skin and making me shiver.
“So fucking tight, baby girl,” he growls as he shoves his entire hand into my underwear. He pushes a thick finger inside me, and my jeans slide farther down my hips. I almost come apart on the spot.
“M-Max, please?” I whimper as he slowly thrusts in and out of me.
“Hmm. Needy too.” He chuckles wickedly. Tongue and teeth lash at a sensitive spot on my neck while he gently finger fucks me in the middle of the woods on his motorcycle.
I wrap my arms around his neck, curling my fingers in his thick dark hair as I rock against him.
“That’s it, ride my hand,” he commands, rubbing the heel of his palm over my clit. “My needy little slut.”
“Oh. My. God!” My eyes roll back in my head as an intense orgasm crashes into me. If it wasn’t for Max’s arms holding me upright, I’d fall off this bike and crumple to the ground in a heap.
“You feel better, baby girl?” he asks as he pulls his hand out of my jeans. Heat blooms beneath my skin as I watch him place his finger in his mouth and suck it clean before releasing it with a wet pop. “Sweetest thing I ever tasted.” He grins.
“You think you’re so smooth.”
He stares at me, his jaw ticking and his eyes roaming over my face. Like he wants to tell me something but he’s searching for the words. “I should get you home,” he finally says.
“No!” I shout the word, surprising both of us. “Take me to your place, Max. Please?”
He sighs heavily. “I can’t, Joey.”
“Why not?”
“Because you’re Joey. Lorenzo and Dante would never forgive me.”
“You can screw me in an alleyway and finger bang me on the back of your motorcycle, and that’s okay? But spending the night with me is crossing the line?”
Pain flashes across his face for a split second before his brow furrows with annoyance. “Joey,” he pleads.
“Ash will tell Dante and Lorenzo that I’m with you. I can say I’m staying at your place. They’ll know I’m safe. Just take me to bed. Just once?” I beg him, tears pricking at my eyes.
He stares at me for what feels like forever before he finally speaks. “You’re going to get me fucking killed, Joey Moretti.” Then he reaches down and snatches our helmets off the ground, motioning for me to get on the bike.
