dilemmas.
Hawke and I are back at one of the beachfront properties. Today we are demoing an old kitchen in order to remodel it with modern updates.
I’ve come to enjoy working with these tools and using my hands to get dirty, destroy, and create. Demoing is by far my favorite. Taking out my aggression on walls, cabinets, cupboards. It’s a fantastic release and makes for some good exercise. I think I’m building a bicep.
Carrying the rest of the old materials out to the dumpster outside, we pause to grab a drink. I use my time wisely.
“So, what’s the situation between Cole and Han? There seemed to be some drama in that kitchen yesterday,” I begin, fishing.
“Eh, sister shit,” Hawke sighs, taking a drink.
Dammit, man, I need more.
I’m sure Cole told him all about the relationship between her and her sister. I can’t imagine those two have any secrets between them.
“They’re so different for being sisters.”
“Hell yeah. When we first moved here and I met Johanna, I thought it was a joke. Until I remembered what Cole told me about her. They’re polar opposites. Jo even got Cole to go to a Disturbed concert once.”
“Nice,” I say with raised brows. The old Cole at a Disturbed concert seems surreal.
“Right?”
“So Han is the wild child.”
He narrows his eyes, pursing his lips together. “Nah, I think I got the wild one.”
“Bruh…” I distort my face. “You guys need to keep it down. All that spank me shit got me damn near masturbating in the room over. Hearing little cries as you smash her. ‘Harder Hawke! Harder!’”
“Ha! You heard that? Damn…guess we need to reel it in.” Hawke laughs to himself, taking another drink.
“I love it how she only calls you Hawke when you’re fucking her now, like it’s your bad boy alter ego. Cam in the daylight, Hawke when the lights go out and you’re spanking the living life right outta her.”
He chuckles, rubbing his shoulder as I continue.
“Cole likes to be aggressively spanked during sex. The things you learn about your friends while living with them.” I grin. “I mean, it makes sense. She’s got daddy issues.”
Hawke narrows his eyes at me. It’s not his normal look of disgust, though. No, this look he’s giving me runs deeper. Did I overstep? Wouldn’t be the first time.
“I’m happy to give her what she needs. It could be worse,” Hawke finally says, popping back to normal.
“True. She could want me in there with y’all. Ya know, give her the ol’ one in the boot, one in the chute.”
He glares at me again, sending daggers into me with his eyes, and I know I’m riding the fine line of our friendship. It’s been a fun ride.
“Didn’t you ever want to smash Jo?” I ask, changing the subject. “I’m sure the thought crossed your mind. A little sister on sister action?” I wave my brows at him playfully.
“No,” he says firmly.
“You’re a liar.” I smirk.
“I’m not lying.”
“Please, they’re both hot as fuck. You’ve definitely thought about it. I’ve thought about it. Many times. Last night, actually. Then again, this morning.”
“Dude, not even. When we first got here and I met Jo, she was in a bad place, like mentally. She’s struggled with some heavy shit privately. They both have. Just handled it in different ways. It was never like that.”
My brows knit together as I ponder that.
“She’s like the happiest, most perky, quirky person I’ve ever met. That doesn’t make sense.”
“Yeah, well, sometimes people are really good at hiding themselves in the midst of the norm.”
Thinking back on her in social settings, she’s definitely not the type to seem depressed or withdrawn from crowds. She’s the life of the party. Everyone gravitates towards her in such a way that the idea of her in a low place just doesn’t even seem possible.
“What about that Bran, dude? He’s suspect as hell with his wanna be spiritual hippy shit. His name is Brandon, for Christ’s sake. Dudes like him think they can wipe their privilege off with a visit to a shaman and a quick name change.”
If there was one thing I hated more than a bullshitter, it was a bullshitter who pretended to be spiritual for the sake of a trend. This dude goes by the name Bran to sound cool when, in reality, he’s a fucking rich prick who was birthed into money. Money he apparently toys around with in the drug world. Another situation I need to look into.
“Yeah, he’s a piece of shit. Apparently, he and Jo have some weird intertwined history.”
“You don’t know what happened between them?”
“No, that happened long before we moved—” He pauses, interrupting himself. “Wait, why the fuck are you being so nosy about Jo? C’mon Kid, Cole asked you to leave her alone.”
I raise my hands up, playing innocent. “I’m just curious, is all, nothing to it.”
“Please, don’t act like I don’t know you. If Cole says don’t touch my sister, that alone gives you a mission to do just that.”
“Well, we’ve already crossed that bridge,” I murmur quickly before taking a drink of water and looking out the window at the beach.
He stares at me blankly. “Are you fucking kidding me? You fucked Jo?!”
My eyes dart all over the room, trying to find a safe place to land. I can’t find one, so I close them tightly, making a pained face. Hawke throws a piece of drywall at my head, hitting me dead center on the forehead.
“Fuck!” I grab my face.
“You’re an idiot, dude! I can’t believe you. Actually, I can. Who am I kidding?” Hawke shakes his head in disappointment.
“I couldn’t help it. We have a real connection, like it’s deep.”
Hawke scoffs.
“I’m serious!”
“The day I believe Kid has an actual connection with someone that doesn’t involve his dick physically being inside of them…” A dry chuckle leaves his throat.
“Cam, I’m dead ass,” I say in a deeply serious tone, looking him dead in the eyes. “I can’t stop thinking about her.”
He stares back at me for a second, looking hesitant to believe that it could be true.
“I mean, you’re both weird as fuck. I guess I shouldn’t be that surprised.”
My grin stretches across my face. His eyes narrow.
“You’ve got it bad for Jo?” he asks, looking almost appalled by the discovery. “Do you have any idea how bad that is for you?”
I chuckle. “Why do you say that?”
“Because she’s like a feather floating around in the fucking wind. She doesn’t stick around for anything or anyone. Not even her own sister.”
“I can make people stick. I’m like a big wad of gum. I’m sweet, fun to blow, and people tend to get stuck to me whether they like it or not.”
“You just equated yourself to a wad of gum. Congratulations. You win.” Hawke says in the blandest voice.
“What can I say? I’m charming.” I cheese.
“Well, I’m gonna be forced to tell Cole if you don’t. I’m not keeping shit from her. Guy code or not, that’s her fucking sister.”
“I’ll break the news to her. She’ll be heartbroken, I’m sure. Jealous as all hell. Might even start a fight, pull some hair, rip a shirt, flash a titty…”
He contorts his face in disgust. “Jesus, you have thought about this.”
I sigh, looking dreamily to the ceiling while nodding. “A few times, yeah.”
“Hey, on a serious note. I signed up for this realtor/sales course at the home expo tomorrow morning. I was hoping you’d come with? Maybe see if that’s something you’re interested in?” he asks, cocking a brow. “You’ve been killin’ it with these demos, catching on quick, but I just know you’d kill it on the sales side.”
Hawke giving compliments is something not to be taken lightly. If he sees something in someone, he’s going to try his best to bring it out of you. I know this. I’ve seen him do it with our other friends. I’ve seen him do it with Cole. He’s the friend you want in your corner because he’s always going to push you to be great. This is the reason I stood by him so tough when he was locked up. You look after people like him. They don’t come around often.
“You’d get a certificate and everything after completion. Get a little something under your belt.”
“Yeah man,” I reply with a genuine smile and heartfelt appreciation. “That sounds great.”
He grins, giving me a head nod, telling me more about the details of the event before we pack up and head back to the house for the evening.
After showering up, I check my phone and see a text from a friend, one that’s not necessarily the one you want in your corner. Silas is the kind of guy that you hang around, knowing you’ll have a hell of a night but with a clause. He’s the guy that knows people. He makes himself available, keeping a crew of women around him, bringing you to a party or new club with the expectation you’ll give him something in return. In this case, it’s the coke he seems interested in.
Silas: Tavern tonight. I’ll bring the pussy, you bring the white girl.
Kid: Deal
Who am I kidding? I’m a piece of shit. Of course I’ll go. It’s not like I have plans tonight.
Later that evening, I leave Cam and Cole to make babies or choke each other out, whatever the fuck they’re into tonight, and take my car down to the Tavern.
I snort a line on my dash before entering. Blowing a breath through my lips, I allow the numbing effect to run through me. I lick my finger, wiping the rest of the potent powder off the dash, running the finger along my gums before rubbing my nose of the powder and sitting back against the seat of the car.
I see my bloodshot eyes in the rearview mirror and get that same shit feeling I did when I was fucking blondie. There’s this lingering presence of knowing you’re going down a path that ends in nothing but dirt, gravel, and missteps. You know you shouldn’t continue, but changing course often takes more effort than reward. So I continue down the path, the one that leads me directly into this nightclub.
Walking in through the steel double doors, I pass the familiar blondie, stopping me in my tracks.
“They’ll let anyone in here, won’t they?” she winks at me.
“Toni? Was it? Good to see you, as always.” I lay on the charm, giving her my best sexy half-grin.
I didn’t even know her name, and my dick was firmly planted deep within her walls. She didn’t seem to care. I still don’t think she knows my name.
“Silas said you were coming,” she grins flirtatiously, running a hand down the back of her neck.
Maybe she does know my name. See? I’m gum. Blow me and you stick.
I feel my high hit and I’m ready to fuck some shit up. The party is lit. The music is out of control, and half-naked women are dancing all around us. Silas is sitting back in a booth with some beautiful ladies around him when I approach.
“Kid! My man. Take a seat,” he says, drawing attention to me.
He definitely brought the women.
I slide in next to a gorgeous woman with lips the color of amber, her skin rich in color. Her deep brown eyes glance my way as she plays with her luscious hair, toying with her curls. My heart races in my chest and I feel the coke seeping into my bloodstream, pumping directly into my heart.
“What other tricks you got up your sleeve, Kid?” Silas asks.
I know what he’s referring to, and lucky for him, I’m a magician.
“Addys?” he asks quietly.
“Of course,” I reply.
He nods approvingly. “Have you met Zuri?”
The exchange.
“It’s a pleasure Zuri,” I give her a grin, leaning into her slightly, my bouncing knee rubbing against hers.
Drinks are flowing, music is bumping, the vibe is all set, and yet, I feel the lack of a certain excitement not even the coke can bring to life. I pull out my phone, searching through the contacts until I see it.
Johanna.
I’ve had her number for weeks now, but haven’t had the nerve to text her. She has no idea I have it, so I need to make this fun. I find the video on YouTube. It’s the video of that picture of three deer stacked on top of each other, engaging in sex with the “Oh Yeah” song playing in the background. I click send, hoping she gets it, wondering if she’ll remember.
I anxiously check my phone, again and again, seeing the message was opened but with no response. I’m jittery, futzing with my phone every three seconds, turning it on, turning it off, turning it on, entering the passcode and turning it off to refresh. It just needs a refresh.
A few minutes later, I get a text in return. It’s an image. A picture of a banana cream pie.
I bite the corner of my lip, unable to hold back my smile as I sit here, cheesing like an idiot to my phone. It’s hilarious what something as stupid as a picture of a cream pie can do to my insides. She knows it’s me. I feel her everywhere.
“Sweet tooth, huh?” Zuri asks, looking over my shoulder.
I cock a brow, leaning my head back to look at her. “Something like that.”
I send a quick text back.
Kid: Where are you?
“That’s too much cream. Maybe it’s time to try something a little more rich, a little more bittersweet, something with a bite.”
I eye her curvy body next to me as she tilts her head to the side, licking her luscious lips suggestively.
“Yeah? What you got in mind?”
Ten minutes later, and we’re in the back of my car. Zuri is riding my cock in the back seat, clutching onto my shoulders as she takes me deep. My hands grab onto her thick ass, lifting her, then pulling her back down onto my lap as I thrust up into her faster and harder than ever.
“I can’t take it!” she screams out, bracing her hands behind me against the seat, bouncing against my thighs. “It’s so good!”
She’s wet. Like dripping wet. I love some good sloppy, wet sex, but now it only reminds me of my conversation with Han. Zuri drops her head back, finding her release, screaming out as my eyes fall closed.
I really want to check my phone.
Opening my eyes, I damn near slap myself for thinking something so stupid as I’m dick deep in another woman. I focus on the feelings, my surroundings, my primal need to cum inside this beautiful woman above me. A few more aggressively hard pumps later and I’m cumming into the condom, pulling Zuri’s thick hips tightly to me as I do.
I drop my head back against the seat, my mouth open as my chest rises and falls while I regulate my breathing.
“You got any blow?” she asks before my dick is even out of her.
This chick did not just have sex with me for some coke.
“Uh, yeah…sure, yeah.”
Unreal.
After fixing ourselves, we head back inside the club after I hand off a few grams for the good time in my car. I feel cheap as fuck for that, but I didn’t ask for it. It was all her. Clearly, some people don’t care enough to hold some things sacred. Oh, who the fuck am I kidding? I’ve had my share of emotionless sex. Just not for money or drugs.
Silas pats me on the back as I enter the club again, and it feels disgusting.
“She’s great, isn’t she?” He wraps his arm around my neck, looking off at Zuri, who’s glancing back at us with a smirk as she walks away. Everything about it feels wrong. “C’mon, let’s take some shots.”
Sure as shit, we take some shots. Lots and lots of shots. Every few seconds, someone is handing us another whisky neat. Silas talks my ear off about some opportunity he’s trying to set up for himself, needing my help in the process. I’m pretty fucked up at this point, but so is everyone else around me. I remember I texted Han earlier, so I pull my phone out of my pants to see if she responded.
Two unopened texts.
Han: Come find me.
A picture of the cove.
Fuck me. She’s been at the cove. The same cove where we talked before going back to her place. She must’ve been out there tripping by herself again, waiting for me to come find her, maybe needing me to reach her down that rabbit hole again.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
I stand abruptly, getting hit with the wave of intoxication. Jesus, I’m more fucked up than I thought.
I stumble my way to the car, opening the heavy door and slamming it closed harder than I intended once inside.
I have to get to her.
I fumble with my keys in the ignition, dropping them into the darkness near my feet before finding them again.
I can’t leave her hanging.
I finally start it up as I pull away from the club, driving down the dimly lit road, when a car follows me.
She’s waiting. Waiting for me.
I see the red and blue of the lights flashing behind me in the rearview mirror, echoing the pace of my racing heart, and I know I’m fucked.
Royally fucked.
