way of disrupting your future if you don’t address it properly. Han taught me that. But even so, here I sit, contemplating all the ways in which I can brush mine under the rug.
I haven’t dealt with the Dario situation at all. I don’t even know what I’m doing, to be honest. The drugs remain in the secret compartment in my car, just sitting there since I picked them up. I bought the drugs from Tarah with every intention of finding out what it was they were mixing. Maybe I’ll buy one of those test kits from the internet to attempt to decipher what Bran and his dick-licker, Silas, are conjuring up, potentially taking that information to Dario to sabotage their idiotic plans.
Whatever they’re mixing has the potential to be deadly. I know that much because of how it affected me both times I tried it. That alone tells me that there’s no rhyme or reason to whatever concoction they’re attempting to create. It’s careless, it’s dangerous, and if Dario knew that, he’d cut them off immediately, getting me back on his good side, perhaps making myself useful. Dead clients aren’t good for making money, and if word gets out who it’s from…well, let’s just say it’s not a good look.
I spent the morning on Cole’s laptop at the kitchen counter after asking if I could borrow it for a few hours. She gave me a funny little smile, but was more than happy to lend it to me, as long as I didn’t download a bunch of porn. To her surprise, no viruses overtook her work.
Truthfully, I used it to apply for some online training to get my certification as a Realtor. I was hoping to get that knowledge under my belt as Hawke had recommended, knowing that I would excel in it, and potentially help him in selling new properties in the future. I had the idea that this could be a good path for me. Maybe we could even continue working together.
Han’s words hit deep last night. I need to make sure I’m going to be around for her, and getting into a legit business or even starting one on my own is a great next step. I know people and I know how to work people. Getting the education I need to push me further will help to solidify a future for myself and for her.
She was right when she told me I never cared for myself. She told me if I put half the effort into myself as I did into pursuing her, I’d be in a great place. What she didn’t realize was that she was my reason for bettering myself. We all have our motivations, and she is the greatest one yet. Before her, I lived day to day, but after her, I’m living for the promise of tomorrow.
After signing up for the online course, I spent the rest of the day with Hawke at one of the properties, where he went into detail about the plans he had for the evening. We painted rooms in various shades of grey as he described how he wanted it to all go down. Dinner with some good friends, then head to the dock for a boat ride to view the fireworks display he had ready from the shore. The dude was way more nervous than I’d ever seen him. Sweating, pacing, stuttering…it was great. I loved it, seeing this confident, tough guy in a new light. This woman was his everything, and I understood the nerves more than he realized.
Showering and dressing for dinner tonight, I take one last look at myself in the mirror and smile. I look good. And not in a self-absorbed way. There was a new twinkle in my eyes. Cole saw it too. Here, before me now, is a man in love, but not only that, a man who is finally taking care of himself. I look healthy with my bright, crystal-blue eyes and face filled with color. My cheeks aren’t as hollow as they’d been, eyes bright with no sign of redness from the drugs. I even combed my hair, styling it with a little product to make the white blond pop even more. I’m wearing a stylish sweater with some dark jeans and a few light chains around my neck for the occasion.
It was the first time I saw my reflection and didn’t hate it. The impulse to send my face through the glass, gone. I’m proud of myself, and feeling better than ever. I did this myself. I did this by wanting to change. To finally be worthy of someone’s love. Han’s.
“You’re a stud, Kid,” I say to my reflection, giving myself a wink and a head nod before heading to Han’s to pick her up.
Cole and Hawke are still getting ready as I leave, so I let hem know I’ll meet them at the place they dined at when they first moved to California together. It’s a beautiful place that holds a lot of meaning for them. It’s where they could finally be free from their pasts, loving each other in a beautiful new light.
Han and I enter the double doors of the place, me holding the door for her, of course.
“He chokes me out and holds doors open? How’d I get so lucky?” She smiles her gorgeous smile as I take the opportunity to pull her to the side between the doors.
“This dress was a horrible idea,” I whisper into her ear, leaning closer against her, pushing her against the wall. I slip my hand under the flowered, flowy dress, loving the feeling of where her soft ass meets the back of her thigh. It’s literally making blood flood to my dick. “We’re in a classy restaurant, and all I can think about is bending you over the table and sticking this cock where it belongs.”
“Kai!” she giggles as I press myself into her, my lips trailing her neck. “You’re getting hard.”
I bite my bottom lip, sucking in a breath before the inevitable grin spreads across my face. “You better head in first, then.”
She smiles, licking her lips before leaning up on her toes in those platform black combat boots, giving me a sweet kiss.
“Let’s go, babyboy.”
I clutch my chest, throwing my head back at her little nickname for me. She chuckles, pulling me along behind her with her fingers interlocked through mine.
The place is stunning. Upon entry, the clear view of the ocean backdrop is visible through a wall of glass windows. The sun is setting, lighting up the waves in a magnificent sparkling scene. Light piano is playing in the background while the sound of silverware and plates brush together softly. The hostess walks us to the table near the back where we meet up with a few of their other close friends. We chat and enjoy light conversation until Cole and Hawke finally make their appearance.
They look amazing together, both dressed-up looking magazine ready. Walking hand-in-hand, with smiles lighting up their faces, they appear like cover models to some sort of “bad-boy meets sweet girl” ad.
We sit and eat a delicious dinner, enjoying the company as Han and I hold hands beneath the table. I like this. This feels good to me. Normal even. Us enjoying one another in public as a couple. We share little smiles and smirks and can’t seem to keep our hands to ourselves.
Han lightly touches my arm on the table where it rests, placing her hand on mine. Cole even picks up on it from across the table, smiling with admiration. Not trying to inflate my ego or anything, but I think she’s honestly just happy to see her sister this happy. I don’t know that she’s ever seen her like this with anyone before. I hope not anyway.
“So that big house of yours…” a good friend of theirs named Julia asks aloud as we sit back in our seats after dinner. “When are two gonna start filling it up with kids?”
Cole blushes as she looks over to Hawke, who has his arm around her chair, pulling her even closer to him.
“Soon.” He grins down at her, his eyebrow raising. “If we don’t already have one on the way.”
Cole gasps, slapping his chest while laughing at the crude joke.
“Do your parents live close, Cole?” Julia asks. “Having your mom nearby always helps with the little ones. We know all about that.” She smiles, nudging her husband to the left of her as they both smile, agreeing.
I watch as both Cole and Hawke’s smiles slowly fade. Hawke clears his throat, leaning back in his chair as Cole looks down at the table, licking her lips. I peer over at Han who’s also staring into the tablecloth with a blank face, her lips slightly parted.
It’s clear that even though they are close friends with these new people they’ve become acquainted with in California, there are secrets that are only kept between the two of them.
“Family is everywhere,” I interject quickly. “I’m literally a live-in babysitter, ready for some little nieces and nephews. Dirty diapers and spit-up, my new conquest.” I give my cheeky grin.
Julia smiles at me adoringly as Hawke shoots me an appreciative but quick nod from across the table for disrupting the awkwardness. He grabs Cole’s hand in his. She turns and smiles up at him with broken eyes she’s attempting to hide.
Who’s not hiding their brokenness is Han. I turn to face her again, giving her hand a little squeeze, but she’s still facing the tablecloth before her, her eyes wincing in the corners. I see the tears being held back, close to falling as her mind runs wild.
“Well, I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m ready for a drink.” I announce, pushing my chair back. “C’mon babe, let’s hit the bar.”
The rest of the table begins slowly talking on their own again, and no one notices the shaking girl on my arm who can barely walk to the other side of the room. I wrap my arm around her lower back, leading her towards the coat closet near the restrooms and into a little secluded area where we can talk.
“Come here,” I say immediately, pulling her into my chest once we’ve escaped the eyesight of everyone dining.
I know how hard that was for her. I can’t imagine the guilt she continuously feels weighed down by, especially thinking about her baby sister with a baby. I’m sure the thoughts of not having their mother around hurt more than she’d ever let on.
“Kai,” she cries out softly, clutching my sweater in her little fists, needing me to hold her as she finally feels free to let go of her emotions.
“I know,” I say, running my hand down her back.
And I do know. She doesn’t need to say anything else. She’s hurting, and I’ve got her. It’s all she needs to know.
“I took that away from her,” she says in a broken tone, sniffing after she says it.
“No, baby. No, you didn’t, Jo.” I pull back from our hug, gently placing my hands on the sides of her neck, needing her to see my eyes as I say it. “She would’ve done it with or without you there. You didn’t take anything away from her. It was out of your hands. You can’t keep blaming yourself for her decisions.”
“I could’ve stopped her. For Nic.” Her tears flood her face as she falls apart in my palms.
Her broken eyes close tightly, and I pull her into my chest again, wrapping my arms firmly around her trembling frame, holding her together as she cries into me. But nothing can stop the unfortunate timing of seeing the face that I’m met with when I lift my head.
Cole is standing two feet away from us, staring straight into my eyes with a ghost-like expression. Han is in my arms, unaware of her sister behind her.
Cole’s head shakes in disbelief as she slowly starts backing away, making it more than obvious that she heard the tail-end of our conversation.
“No,” I say to her. “No, Cole, no…”
Han’s head abruptly turns from my chest at the name, seeing her sister behind her now.
“Cole, come here,” I say, still shaking my head. “It’s not—”
“Wh-what?” she asks breathlessly, staring at her sister with wide eyes. “Stopped her? You mean…she…you…”
Cole falls back into the wall behind her, her palm slapping against it, attempting to hold herself upright at the newly acquired information her brain can’t seem to register. Her body slides down the wall, and I reach out to grab her before she falls. She’s blinking wildly as if her eyesight is blurring and the room around her is darkening.
“Fuck!” I pick her up beneath her arms as her eyes roll back into her head. “Cam!” I yell out into the restaurant anxiously.
He hears my anxious scream and comes running over immediately, his face in horror at the sight of Cole passed out in my arms.
“Jesus Christ, Cole!” he yells, bending down and taking her from me. “Call 911!” he yells to the hostess stand. “What’s wrong, baby?! Wake up!” He slaps her cheek gently, attempting to wake her. “Kai, what happened?!” he yells.
“She’s okay. She just passed out,” I stutter, my hands shaking.
Her eyes flutter open, finding Hawke above her. I turn to face Han, only to notice there’s no one behind me now.
“Shit!” I curse, standing up and looking around the restaurant quickly. “Han?!” I call out.
Hawke looks up at me, confusion and the need for answers radiating out of him.
“It wasn’t a freak accident, Cam.” I spit out. “Han’s known all along, saw it happen.” I tell him quickly, knowing he’ll understand, needing him to know so he doesn’t go ape-shit on everyone.
I frantically look down the hallways to see if I see her as I spin, running my hands nervously through my hair.
His mouth drops open to look at me in disbelief as Cole comes to. I simply nod my head, staring into him with eyes that tell him I’d never lie about something so serious as I walk backwards towards the exit, deciding Han must’ve left.
“Fuck!” he curses out, holding her tightly to him on the floor. “You gotta go get her.”
His eyes find mine again. “You need to go get her,” he demands.
I hate that he knows like I do, if I can’t find her…
I struggle to breathe at the thought. I slam through the glass doors in search of the broken woman who can’t handle any more wounds to the tattered scars that make her less than whole.
