eleanor
“Holy shit, this place is so much bigger than I expected it to be.”
Millie laughs on the other end of the phone.
“What do you mean? It’s a football stadium.”
I laugh too because that’s not what I meant, and now I just look like I’m stupid.
“No. I’m at the practice center. Not the stadium.” I’m searching over the players warming up in the indoor field. “I don’t see him, and it looks like the whole team is here.”
“See, you should have gone with the person he sent to pick you up,” she says all sassy, like she was there to tell me better.
I step up onto a silver bench, trying for a better vantage point.
“Shush up, Mills. I wanted to get him a present, and I couldn’t do that with some rando assistant that might tell him.”
I lift my chin, still searching, but to no avail.
“Umm,” Millie draws out. “Are we worried about getting surprise gifts for your fake husband who you don’t want as your real boyfriend?”
I hop down, fully focused on her.
“We are. But only ‘ish.’ Listen, we’ve got four more days together. I’m not throwing it all away for him. You know what I mean? We can relax. It’s a goodbye gift.”
The only part of that sentence that’s true is the fact that we’ve got four more days together. Because I’m starting to worry that Crew could make me do dumb shit I’d regret later.
Millie starts in with some therapy-grade overanalyzing when some dude I’ve never seen in my life waves at me, calling me by name. So I interrupt her.
“Mills, I’ve gotta go. I’ll call you later.”
Mr. Enthusiasm jogs up, smiling as he greets me.
“Hi, Eleanor, right? I’m Matt.” I nod as he continues. “Crew’s been waiting for you to get here. But since you didn’t come with the driver, I wasn’t sure which way you came in. I’m happy I found you.”
I smile. “Me too.” I glance around again, but Matt shakes his head, motioning toward a golf cart.
“They’re not here. This is reserved for the players’ practice sessions. Crew, TJ, and Nate are on one of the outdoor fields. How about a ride?”
I follow my new friend to my chariot and try not to feel what I’m feeling…which is giddy. It’s impossible not to feel that way, being here where Crew practically lives. It just feels special somehow. We only drive for a few minutes before we’re heading down a tunnel.
I’m already laughing because outside of the tunnel sounds like recess in a schoolyard.
“Are there kids out there…” I say, surprised.
I thought he wanted me to come to an exhibition match or something like that.
Matt glances over at me, nodding.
“Yeah, this is what field day is. Crew started it a few years back. He invites kids from low-income neighborhoods through places like the Y—”
My heart stops in my chest. He’s shared a lot about how he grew up, and places like that saved him more times than he should have needed.
“These are kids that wouldn’t necessarily get the opportunity to do the camps we offer. Anyway, it’s really grown over the years and become very popular, so we were really pleased that he pushed for the organization to let him do it one last time before he left.”
He pushed. The other night, he played it off like it was just something he had to do. Oh, man. Hot, charming, big dick, and kinky, and now I have to add humble.
Dear Universe, what happened to being a girl’s girl? Why are you doing this to me?
The cart slows at the entrance, which is nice because I can already feel the damn heat, and it’s 7:00 a.m.
Matt turns toward me. “Between you and me, it’s a real shame this organization didn’t treat him better. He’s a pretty stellar guy.”
Yep. Try being married to him, Matt. You’d be an even bigger fan.
I exit the cart, and as soon as we walk out onto the field, my ovaries fucking explode.
Crew is running around shirtless, with a kid tucked under one arm and a ball held above his head in the other. A band of what looks like ten-year-olds are right on his heels, screaming and yelling before he spikes the ball and yells, “Touchdown.”
I laugh.
He’s adorable. This whole thing is fucking adorable. Maybe I really do just throw it all away. Who needs dreams and accomplishments? Why am I being so this century?
There might be something to the whole barefoot and pregnant road. I laugh to myself because I swear in another life… God.
I’m halfway to the grass when I hear TJ yell, “Crew, your girl is here.”
Your girl? Yeah, I’m gonna dine out on that one for weeks.
But all of a sudden, my feet falter, and I stop in my place because tiny head after tiny head turns in my direction. A hundred little sets of eyes on me. It would be a horror movie if it wasn’t so cute. All these little people, staring at me like they’re so excited I’m here.
Crew lifts both arms in the air and bellows, “Wild Card.”
And like a slow clap in an eighties film, my nickname is chanted, loudly, making the smile on my face permanent and my laughter never-ending.
He strolls over to me and smiles down.
“I’d kiss you, but they’d all cringe to death, and the papers would say I did inappropriate things in front of children.”
“You already did that…”
His forehead wrinkles in question, so I finish off my joke. “We let TJ and Nate watch.”
He chuckles, lifting my hand and pressing a kiss to the top before stepping away, letting his voice carry as he leaves, step by step, his eyes on me.
“Thanks for coming…I put you over in the shade because I know how you feel about the sun.” I’m smiling, watching him walk backward and biting my lip. “If you need anything, ask Matt, and make sure you stay out of the splash zone.”
“The splash zone?” I yell back, but it’s too late.
Before I can duck, water balloons begin flying through the air.
Holy shit.
I squeal, not knowing where to run and somehow, by the grace of god, actually catch one that was launched at me.
I’m staring at it, looking around as Crew yells, “Throw it.”
So, I do. And before I know it, I’m running around a football field, laughing and screaming, occasionally being hoisted up and manhandled by my husband as pandemonium erupts around us.
It’s perfect. And that scares me to death. Because I’m not ready for perfect. I don’t have room in my life. It’s still a mess over here…a work in progress. I’m not ready for company.
But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m falling for him, for real, at the wrong time. And I need to let the right guy get away.
I’ve been watching for about an hour, drying off. Even though that took about thirteen seconds in this heat. But either way, I’ve been sitting in my designated seat, watching them play. Sometimes they run routes, and other times, Nate gathers a bunch of kids to show them how to position themselves on the field.
From the looks of it, TJ’s job is just to pick people up and throw them around, making prepubescent shrieks sound off around the field, accompanied by “Me next.”
“This is a good thing he does,” I breathe out, really watching and letting it all sink in.
Before that thought can get any deeper, someone sits down next to me, nabbing my attention. I look to my side, a dark-haired woman with a friendly face staring back, albeit one I don’t know.
“Hi,” I offer, wondering who the fuck she is.
“Hi, Eleanor.” Knows my name, has to be press. “Rosanna Marquez. I work for the Review-Journal, a newspaper here in Las Vegas. I was just here asking some questions about the kids’ annual field day. We like to get the kids’ take on what they like and what they don’t, and we grab some quotes from the guys. I saw you sitting up here and—”
I smile before cutting in and finishing her sentence.
“And you thought you could get an exclusive from the new and possibly naïve-to-your-tricks wifey?”
“Something like that.” She grins, and I don’t fault her.
But that doesn’t mean I’m stupid enough to answer. “Pass.”
“Look,” she presses. “You don’t have to tell me anything about your wedding. How about you tell me what you think about today? It’s a pretty cool thing he does here. A quote from you could get it on the front page.”
“Bullshit.” I chuckle.
She shrugs. “It was worth a shot. One quote, come on, for the sisterhood.”
I scoff, grinning. “Wow, you are good.”
My eyes are on him, watching as he smiles, noticing I follow suit. And when he laughs, my shoulders shake quietly. I open my mouth, even though I know I shouldn’t, but a piece of me wants us tied somewhere tangible. Like the paper.
I’ll buy a hundred copies and keep them, just so I can tell my kids that I was once married to Crew Matthews until I fell madly in love with their father and he stole me away.
It’ll only be a little white lie, but my time here will live on.
“I think today is just another example of how life will surprise you when you least expect it. Everyone knows him as their favorite QB or maybe as that jock who does those commercials. But he has so much more to offer outside of that. Crew really is the guy everyone should want to grow up and be like. He was meant to be that dude on the Wheaties box.” I glance at her and smile. “Do they even make that cereal anymore?”
She nods, holding her little recorder toward me.
My eyes fall back to him as my thoughts get quiet.
“He’s everything I never wanted.”
Rosanna’s voice slaps me back into reality.
“Sorry, you mean he’s everything you’ve always wanted?”
I frown, looking confused before the realization sets in. Shit. I said that out loud.
She clarifies, still staring at me. “Because you said never, but you meant always. Right?”
I nod vigorously, laughing nervously.
“Yeah. Absolutely, yeah, yep. He’s everything I’ve always wanted.” I fan myself. “I think the heat’s starting to get to me. Whooo, it really is hot in Vegas.”
Suspicious doesn’t even cut the look she’s giving, but I don’t care because I stand, desperate to find an exit.
“I’m gonna go grab some water and maybe get into some cool air. It was…nice?…talking to you.”
She smiles as I walk away, not really knowing where I’m going but still chasing distance before I let out a heavy breath and take the stairs down toward the field.
I’m not looking where I’m going, though, because as I turn the corner off the stairs, I run smack into the last person I expected to see.
Josh, Crew’s lawyer, and I guess mine too, grabs my shoulders, steadying me.
“Hey, it’s my favorite comedian.”
“Oh my gosh. What are you doing here? How’s the law treating you?”
He smirks and gives me a wink.
“Actually, it’s treating me pretty damn good. That’s why I’m here today. I was hoping I could catch Crew and let him know that I got that fucking judge recused.” He waves an envelope in front of me. “Papers are inside. All you two have to do is sign them, and this nightmare is over.”
Well, fuck.
crew
She bailed during field day, but I’m thinking it’s to get ready for tonight since I texted her that I was making good on her request.
I almost got down to business the moment she whispered it in my ear. But delayed gratification will be worth it.
The sound of my duffel hitting the floor echoes through the penthouse as I toe off my shoes and head for the bedroom. I fling the door open, my voice teasing, “You better be fucking naked in here.”
But the room’s empty. I look around, walking into the bathroom before retracing my steps back out to the main room.
What the fuck?
My eyes search the space, not necessarily looking for her but because it feels like she hasn’t been home. I reach into my pocket to grab my phone, about to call her, when I glance up as I head toward the couch, doing a double take because there are legal papers on the coffee table.
A feeling in the pit of my stomach starts to grow as I get closer. I don’t need to look at them because I already know what they are, but I stare at them anyway, plopping down on the couch before I wipe my hand over my mouth.
I’m holding my phone, turning it over and over in my hand, and staring at her signature slashed across the bottom.
Her cheap dice wedding ring sitting next to it.
A deep exhale whooshes from my lungs as I bend forward to swipe the papers. But as I do, I see what’s underneath.
Fuck.
It’s the goddamn bar napkin from the first time she wrote me a note and snuck out. That thing’s been in my nightstand since she left it, and I’d shown it to her the other night, joking about how I was going to frame it.
I drop the papers, swiping up the note and flipping it over.
Here’s to chasing dreams not heartbreak.
Thanks for being part of my trip around the sun.
You’ll always be epic.
xx Wild Card
I toss the napkin on the table and lie back against the couch, running my hand through my hair before I open up the group text with Millie and her sister.
Me: Technically our girl forfeited by bouncing early. I’m sure you already know that. But I’m a man of my word, and we all know she wasn’t caving. So 30k it is.
DJ Mills: Keep your money. It was just for fun.
DJ Mills: *Picture of her Instagram with a Crew Matthews jersey as her profile pic.
Wild Card’s sister: Agreed, we don’t want it.
Wild Card’s sister: *Picture of a sticker on her computer with my new number, 22, next to the words “We love the Niners.”
I don’t answer because there’s nothing to say. I knew this day was coming. We fucking counted down, for fuck’s sake. We were always ending, even if it’s a few days early. But what really fucking sucks is that it feels like such a goddamn loss.
