It turns out the answer to that question is red.
When I pull up in Dani’s driveway in the Ferrari Daytona SP3 that Arlo gave me the keys to and honk the horn, she runs out of the house as if it’s on fire, screaming and waving her arms.
“I can’t believe this shit! Oh my God, this isn’t happening! You have a Ferrari!” She stops shouting and stares at my left hand, resting on the steering wheel. “And a giant hunk of ice. Is that thing real?”
“At this point, I don’t think anything is real. Get in the car.”
She frowns at the door. “How? There’s no handle.”
“Lean down. It’s tucked under the swoop in the door. But watch out when you press it, because the door opens up, not out.”
Dani leans over and presses the handle, then jumps back in surprise when the door does exactly what I said it would.
She leans in to inspect the interior with wide eyes. “This thing is like a spaceship! How fast does it go?”
“I don’t know, but Arlo said it’s got a V12 engine with more than 800 horsepower, so I’m thinking pretty damn fast.”
When she hesitates, looking doubtfully at the contoured seat with the shoulder belt straps like a race car has, I say, “I won’t go over the speed limit. Promise.”
“That’s exactly what you said that time we got pulled over on PCH and almost got thrown in jail for doing over a hundred.”
“Yeah, but I was nineteen.”
She purses her lips. “You say that like you’ve matured in the last eleven years.”
“Get in the car, Dani.”
She climbs in, figures out how to get the door closed, then buckles the seat belt and shoulder straps. Then Ryan walks out of the house, mouth open and eyes bugging, holding a squirming Mia in his arms.
“Holy shit,” he breathes, gazing reverently at the Ferrari like he sees an image of the Virgin Mary in the paint. “Do you have any idea how much this car costs?”
“No, and I don’t want to.”
“Over two million dollars.”
Dani says, “Oh my God, Ry! What did she just say? And how do you know how much it cost, anyway?”
“It was featured in Car and Driver magazine last month. They said only five hundred of these were made.”
Two million bucks for a car. What a waste of money.
“I guess that means we shouldn’t have cocktails after shopping. A fender bender would probably cost a hundred grand. I’ll have her back in a few hours, Ryan.”
We pull out of the driveway, then head out of Dani’s neighborhood toward the 405, where I realize how dumb it is to own a car that can probably move faster than the speed of light when you live in a city with the most congested freeways in America.
We crawl along in traffic, waving at all the other motorists gawking at us, until we exit on Santa Monica Boulevard and arrive in Beverly Hills.
Then I have my Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman moment, going from one expensive boutique to the next while every salesperson looks at me in horror as if I’m wearing a dress made of fresh turds.
In each case, it’s incredibly satisfying when I slap that black Amex down on the counter.
I have to call Arlo on the batphone for the address of the house to have all the packages sent to because the damn Ferrari doesn’t have a trunk.
By the time we’re finished, it’s dark. We hit the same restaurant where Callum took me to lunch, and lo and behold, Sophie’s working the hostess stand. She brightens when she sees me walking up.
“Miss Eastwood! Welcome in!”
“Hi again, Sophie. How are you?”
“Just great, thanks!”
“You seem great.”
She blushes, clutching a pair of menus to her chest. “I got a raise, thanks to you.”
“Thanks to me? How?”
“Because you told Mr. McCord I deserved one. Right after you left that day, he asked to see my boss. The next thing I know, my boss tells me I’m getting an increase.”
“Wow.” I don’t know what else to say. I’m happy for her, but also surprised. I suppose I shouldn’t be, considering I already know how generous Callum is.
But this is more than generous. It’s thoughtful.
It’s kind.
As he did when he sent the police away from my apartment building, he once again used his rich-person superpowers for good.
If only he wasn’t so irritating the rest of the time.
Sophie seats us, and we have an amazing meal. We talk over everything that’s happened, including what Callum put in the contract about a job for Ryan.
Dani can’t believe it. She also can’t believe Callum said I could have a boyfriend if I wanted.
“I mean, it’s a dream come true. You should buy a lottery ticket. Your luck is incredible.”
“I would, but I don’t need one. I’ve got twenty million in a trust in my name.”
We stare at each other across the table for a moment. She says, “I have to admit, for someone who self-medicates with liquor like an eighties rock star, you’re handling this whole thing extremely well.”
“Only on the outside. On the inside, I’m winning a gold medal in the Panic Olympics.”
“So how long is he going to be gone?”
“No idea.”
“Was it for business?”
“He didn’t tell me. He just left and gave Arlo his credit card.”
She shakes her head in disbelief. “It’s the perfect relationship. He gives you twenty million bucks, tells you that you can do whatever you want, then goes out of town and leaves you a credit card with no limit and a garage full of luxury cars.”
I chuckle, taking a sip of water. “And a whole bunch of rope.”
Dani looks up from her plate of pasta with furrowed brows. “Rope?”
“Yeah, I was snooping around in his dresser drawers and found all these bundles of pretty colored rope in a black case.”
Leaning forward over the table, she says, “You found bundles of colored rope in his dresser drawer?”
“Congratulations. Your ears work. Why do you look so weird?”
She gazes at me in silence for a moment, then starts laughing.
“What the hell is so damn funny?”
“You are.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re not that clueless.”
It’s my turn to furrow my brow. “What are you talking about?”
She sighs, wipes her mouth with her napkin, then throws it on the table in disgust. “Honey, think. What would a man be doing with rope in his bedroom?”
After mulling it over for a moment, I blanch. “Oh shit.”
“Oh shit is right,” she says, cackling.
My heart palpitating, I go over the conversation Callum and I had in the car, thinking of his surprisingly filthy language and how he said he’d punish me. The idea that he also has a bondage kink makes me squirm in my chair.
But it’s not as if I need to worry about it, since we won’t be sleeping together.
This marriage is for convenience only. For both of us.
Sex is off the table.
Except I’m pretty sure we both want it, which is going to be a problem.
Dani laughs harder at the expression on my face.
At that moment, the batphone rings. Lying beside my water glass on the table, the strange little thing launches into a sly saxophone rendition of the main theme from The Pink Panther. Then the screen lights up. A single word appears on the pale blue background.
Daddy.
I know immediately who it is.
“No,” I say forcefully, glaring at it. “No way am I calling you Daddy.”
Dani leans over and looks at the screen. Then she snickers. “Maybe it’s your father calling from beyond the grave.”
Aggravated, I lean closer to the phone. “Decline call.”
The screen goes blank. The Pink Panther theme falls silent. Dani and I stare at it for a moment until it starts to ring again.
We look at each other. She shrugs. I sigh heavily and reach for the phone.
Holding it next to my ear, I say, “Hello, Callum.”
Sounding as smug as ever, he says, “Hello, darling. Enjoying dinner?”
I glance around the restaurant, but don’t spot anyone peering out from behind a corner with a telephoto lens. “I’d ask why you’re spying on me, but I already know you’re a freak like that. Thank you for the credit card. I’ve been making good use of it.”
He chuckles. “I know you have.”
“Of course you do.”
“And I’m gratified that you’re not one of those silly girls who’d be offended or refuse to use it on the grounds of your feminism or some such.”
“My brand of feminism is too smart to turn down free stuff. By the way, I borrowed one of your cars.”
“Yes, I got a call from the police chief about that. Apparently, you were speeding on Rodeo Drive.”
“Why am I not surprised you’ve got the police chief spying on me too? And nobody can speed on Rodeo Drive. It’s a short street with a million stop lights.”
“Yet somehow, you managed it.”
I grudgingly admit, “I might’ve been trying to discover its zero-to-sixty speed.”
“You could’ve just asked me.”
“That wouldn’t have been nearly as much fun. Why are you calling me?”
“Maybe I miss you.”
Rolling my eyes, I sit back in my chair and shake my head.
His voice darker, Callum says, “Don’t roll your eyes at your husband, darling. That will earn you a spanking.”
I sit bolt upright and look wildly around for some clue of how he’s seeing me, but find nothing out of sorts. Chewing a mouthful of pasta, Dani watches me with interest.
Callum says, “Look up and to the right. See that security camera on the ceiling? No, that’s a speaker. Farther right, over the potted palms.”
I squint at the small black glass orb protruding from the ceiling over the plants in the corner. A red light inside flashes on and off as if it’s signaling hello.
When I remain silent, he prompts, “Why aren’t you saying anything?”
“I’m too busy patting myself on the back for how well I’m adjusting to being married to a psychopath. I’m not even crying or anything.”
He chuckles again, pleased. “I have mobile access to all the security cameras in the buildings I own.”
“Bypassing how wrong it is that you think it’s kosher to watch someone remotely through a ceiling camera, how did you know I was here?”
“The GPS on the Ferrari.”
“Ah.”
“I know what you’re thinking, but you’re wrong. I won’t do this all the time.”
“Somehow, I find that extremely hard to believe.”
“I promise I won’t. But when I’m out of town…” He pauses for a moment, then comes back on sounding far more intense. “I need to know you’re safe.”
I sense layer upon layer of hidden meanings in that short sentence, a whole world of secrets I know nothing about. The hairs on my arms prickle.
When he speaks again, his tone has returned to normal. “I won’t keep you. I just wanted to let you know that the transfer from the brokerage account has gone through. The trust was fully funded an hour ago. The documents will be waiting on the kitchen table when you get home, along with instructions for accessing the money.”
Slightly dazed by the conversation, I can only think to thank him again.
“You’re welcome. Oh, and Emery?”
“Yes?”
“Be a good girl and don’t snoop in my drawers.”
The line goes dead. I slowly set the phone down and meet Dani’s eager eyes.
She says, “So?”
“I don’t even know where to start. Every time I have a conversation with that man, he turns my brain into mashed potatoes.”
“I can’t wait to hear about it when he turns your vagina into ground beef.”
“That’s not gonna happen, girlfriend.”
“But you want it to, don’t you?”
Shooting a glance at the ceiling camera in the far corner of the room, I say loudly, “No.”
When the camera’s red light blinks on and off again, I can almost hear Callum growling that I’ll be punished for lying.
For the rest of the night, all I can think about is what kind of punishment that might be.
