“I couldn’t see him, but I could feel him.”
Grace remained quiet as she listened to her patient talk. Her patient was describing the night she’d been taken from her home. She spoke with such strength that Grace’s hairs almost stood on end.
“I stepped inside and locked my doors. Then went around the entire house, turning on every light.”
“Why did you turn on the lights, Antonia?”
She lifted a shoulder. “I felt safer in the light. I felt safer being able to see.” Then she shook her head, regret flickering across her face. “But I didn’t see him coming.”
“What happened next?” Grace asked quietly.
“When I turned on the light in my bedroom, this cold, sick feeling came over me.” Grace’s skin chilled. She knew that feeling. She’d experienced the same moments before her own abduction. “It was like my body knew that my world was about to change, before my mind did.”
Grace gave a gentle nod from her position on the chair beside the bed where Antonia sat. The other woman’s hands rhythmically smoothed the sheet over her thighs.
“He came out of nowhere. I still don’t know where he was hiding. I could probably ask, I bet it’s in my file, but does it matter?” She shook her head. “He placed something over my mouth, and that was it. Everything went black, and when I woke up, I was in this basement. I didn’t stay there for long though. A couple hours. Then I was thrown into a trunk and taken to the compound.”
Grace was careful to keep her face neutral, even though her skin crawled.
She’d woken in a basement. Although, where Antonia had only been held a few hours, Grace had been held a week. A week of hell.
Antonia looked up, her pale blue eyes clashing with Grace’s. “Can I tell you something?”
“You can tell me anything.”
“The first morning I woke up here, I stood in the bathroom and I looked at myself. I literally just stood there for…God, it had to be close to half an hour. I was looking for something familiar in my reflection. I couldn’t find it. It was like I was looking at a stranger. I felt disconnected from my body. Hollow.”
“That’s very normal after what you went through.”
She sighed. “That day you walked in here, I didn’t want to listen or talk to you. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I went into my head and imagined…” She chuckled. “I imagined this bubble around myself. It was my bubble of safety.”
“The bubble was a coping mechanism.” Grace’s coping mechanism had been a dark fog. A fog that she’d let block out everything and everyone else.
“You said something that penetrated the bubble, though. You said, ‘There’s nothing shameful about asking for help’.”
They were the same words that had been said to her. Words that she’d desperately needed to hear. “It’s true. There isn’t.”
“It suddenly hit me, I did feel shameful. Shameful for a crime I didn’t commit. I felt at fault for something I held no responsibility for. For so long, I thought maybe I’d done something to put myself in that position.”
Grace leaned forward. “You didn’t.”
“I know that now. You also said, ‘if you can’t speak your truth, the pain is released somewhere else, and that place is not always good’.”
Grace’s chest warmed at the knowledge that her words had a positive effect on this woman who’d been through so much. “It’s my job to give you a safe space to release your pain.”
Safety was key for trauma survivors. It was something that had usually been taken away. Stolen.
“And you do.” Antonia looked up, meeting Grace’s gaze. When she released a long breath, it was like the woman was breathing out some of the pain she’d been holding. “I feel confident in my recovery, Grace. I feel determined. I want to be better. I want to stop being a victim and start being a survivor.”
God, the woman’s strength was unbelievable. “I’m so happy to hear that, Antonia.”
“I know our sessions will be changing to Skype sessions, so I want to thank you in person before I go. Thank you for allowing me to speak without interruption or judgment. For letting me feel heard and listened to. When you look at me, you really look. Which is…big. For so long, people have looked through me. Seen me as an object.”
“I am so proud of you.”
The woman beamed from the bed. Even the fact that she could smile so soon after being rescued was…gosh, it was amazing.
“I was actually thinking that maybe I could work toward helping other women like myself. Like at a shelter or something.”
“I think that’s a fantastic goal. And I love that you’re looking toward and planning for your future.”
Antonia continued to smile as she nodded.
Grace stood, their session coming to an end. When she said her goodbyes and walked out of the room, she was still smiling. Smiling at the tremendous progress her patient was making. At her strength. Her grit. It was nothing short of amazing.
Her patients were due to leave Cradle Mountain soon. Some would struggle more than others. Some would have faster progress. Antonia was by far the furthest along in her recovery.
Grace gave Flynn and Liam a smile as she said goodbye. They were guarding the rooms that day. Then she made her way down the hall. In the women’s changing room, she stopped at the mirror, studying her reflection. The bags under her eyes were still as dark as they’d been that morning. Sleep had not been her friend last night. Not after her panic attack. Her first in many years.
She would have thought she’d be wiped out after the attack and talking to Logan. That it would make her so exhausted she slept like a log. Not the case at all. She’d tossed and turned for hours.
But although she was exhausted, her talk with Antonia had made her feel just that bit lighter. The woman was so strong. And so determined to be better. It fueled Grace’s fire to get better herself.
For so long, she’d ignored her fear of intimacy with a man. No more. She needed to tackle this head on.
Giving her reflection a quick nod, Grace turned, grabbing her bag and heading to the front desk. She began filling out the last of her patient forms. Glancing at her watch, she noticed it was five minutes past five. Logan must be running late.
Taking her phone out of her pocket, she sent him a quick message.
Just walking out now.
She hadn’t gotten her phone back into her pocket before his response came through.
Wait for me inside, honey.
She paused, glancing up at the doors. She’d wanted to get some fresh air after being inside all day, but knew Logan was just trying to keep her safe. They still hadn’t figured out who’d been driving that green car. It must’ve been a journalist getting desperate and trying to create a story. Who, exactly, was the question.
I will. See you soon. x
His next message was faster than his first.
xx
She’d only taken a couple of steps away from the reception area when the lady behind the desk called for her.
“Grace Castle?”
She turned her head. “Yes?” Grace had spoken to the woman a couple of times but couldn’t remember her first name. Jen, maybe?
The lady held out an envelope. “A man dropped these on the floor as he was leaving…”
Grace frowned as she noticed what looked like pieces of paper tucked into the open envelope. “And they’re for me?”
“They’re of you.”
Of her? She took the envelope from the woman’s fingers and stepped away from the reception area. Her stomach did a little flip when she took out the contents. They weren’t just pieces of paper. They were pictures of her. One of her and Courtney sitting in a booth at The Grind. One of Logan carrying her during the Rainbow Run. Another of her dancing at the Rainbow Run.
A chill swept through her.
What the hell? Who had taken these? Was it one of the reporters? She knew she’d felt eyes on her during the Rainbow Run. Surely it must be the same guy who ran her car off the road.
Anger boiled in her gut and threatened to overflow. How dare this person? Following her around town? Taking photos of her without her knowledge or consent? It was stalking.
She was close to blowing up when her phone rang.
Yanking it out of her pocket, she just about growled at the person. “Hello.”
“Gracie, it’s me, Dad.”
“Dad! I’ve been trying to call you.”
“I’m sorry, darling. I’ve taken some leave from work and have been trying to keep a low profile. I’ve turned off my normal phone and gotten a new burner. Are you out of Cradle Mountain?”
She nibbled her lip. “Uh, not exactly. I took on some patients but will be leaving soon.”
There was a brief pause. “Are the reporters still there?”
Lie. She had to. Otherwise, the worry would kill him. “They’re gone.” Most of them were gone, so it was a small lie, right? Her father didn’t need anything else to worry about. “How are you, Dad?”
“I’m good. I’ve been keeping a close eye on the case in Phoenix. They didn’t find Kieran after he left his prints at the woman’s house, and there have been no more attempted kidnappings.”
Of course not. It didn’t surprise her at all. The guy was a master at remaining hidden. “But you’re safe?”
“I’m safe. You don’t need to worry about me, honey.”
“I love you.” She loved and missed him so much, her heart hurt.
“I love you, baby girl.”
