His lips touch down on my body, marking a place every inch from neck to pelvis. “That feels nice,” I state in my half-asleep state of mind. But then his tongue dips between my legs, quickly drawing me out of my slumber.
I try to sit up, but he holds my legs open, continuing his amazing and completely unfair assault. I was not prepared. Had I known he would be giving me an orgasmic wakeup call I would have at least done a hygiene check first; something I’ve never cared about with men prior to Kross. But he is a man of few words, and one that possesses a lot of skill, especially where women are concerned.
I grip his hair, trying to push him away but pull him toward me at the same time. I’m a war within myself, but he’s a lot stronger than me, and he doesn’t let up until I’m coming hard against his tongue.
I finally give up the fight, riding out the strong high resulting from the burst of orgasm that crept up on me, and before it’s completely gone, he roughly turns me over, positioning me on all fours.
I just now notice that he’s completely naked and ready to go, already aligning himself against me, and with one hard thrust he buries himself inside, shoving me forward until my hand grabs at the headboard to prevent my head from plowing against it. “Fuck, yes.”
The sting on my skin as he slaps my ass proves he’s not in a playing mood. He’s agitated, but I’m not sure why. With every hit of his rock-hard pelvis against my backside, I can feel what will later be bruising. He’s fucking like a man on a mission, and instead of wading in the shallows he’s swimming in the deep. Every time he grazes my cervix it takes my breath away as the searing pain shoots through my abdomen. I clench down on the headboard and grab my breast in the opposite hand, pinching my nipple to offset some of the feelings parading through my body.
His hands lock down at the junction of my legs and torso as he quickly finds my G-spot, and with the gyrating rhythm against it, I effortlessly come, my pussy pulsating around him as the moaning screams begin.
I chance a glance, trying to hold my eyes open with the overwhelming pleasure racking my body. Every tattoo is mobile as his body rocks against me, the muscles in his abdomen contracting with every thrust.
Finally, he holds me against him, hard and heavy as a growl tears from his chest, and with concentration, I can feel him release himself inside of me.
My body is covered in a mixture of our sweat to match, and without pulling out, he leans forward, kissing my shoulder blade. I shiver when a sudden burst of air blows down on my wet body from the heater being off.
He runs his hand slowly up my front, momentarily stopping on the beginning of a bump, before continuing on until his hand is firmly clenched around my breast. “Do you know how good your pussy feels since you’ve been knocked up? It’s like a personal heater for my cock.”
His dirty talk sends chills down my spine. His voice alone is enough to instill fear in the bravest person. I turn my head, allowing my ear to brush against his lips. “Mm.”
I squeeze around him, tightly enveloping his dick before it completely softens inside of me. “Careful, beautiful. I have a lot left in me.” He pulls out of me and turns me around until I’m standing on my knees. Even soft he’s impressive below the belt. And it’s all mine. His eyes divert to my stomach. It doesn’t help that we’ve been sleeping mostly naked almost nightly since I moved back in—a direct result of sharing a bed again for the last month. We’re a couple of horny rabbits. I love it. I’ve never gotten so much raw heat out of him. “I haven’t noticed that, until today. It’s barely there, but it’s hard.”
My hands reflexively try to cover it, insecure, but he stops me. “It started off as bloating. I’ve felt it for a while, internally, but I won’t be able to hide it from you any longer. It feels like an inflated balloon in my gut. With the right clothing, I still have a while before anyone else notices.”
“Why would you be trying to hide it from me?”
“Because I know you’re not thrilled about it. Out of sight out of mind kind of thing, I guess. I feel like it’s going to be a constant reminder slapping you in the face.”
“What would be the point in trying to forget about it? We made it. It’s done. There is nothing we can do about it. I chose to accept it when I chose to go after you. As long as it doesn’t change you, I’ll come around.”
“But—”
He grabs my thighs and transitions me to my back, my hair splaying across the pillow from being caught off guard. “No buts. When I woke up, I felt it. It was there, under my hand. I’ve been thinking about it for the last hour before the thoughts of my kid in there made me too horny to let you sleep. You’re now untouchable. And that vamps up my testosterone levels way too much. Fucking ironic, isn’t it? Something I hated so much in the beginning now turns me on. We’re having a kid. You rarely mention it or draw attention to it. It’s always me, usually in hindsight. Stop walking around on eggshells around me about it. We might as well mention it, look at it, and somehow prepare for it like we would prepare for a fucking hurricane. When it hits everything will be different, and that’s fine, as long as you and me stay the same.”
“I just don’t want to lose you from too much change too soon, now that things are the way they are,” I say, ashamed I even feel this way when I was strong enough to walk away after an ultimatum.
He surprises me by kissing the highest point of my belly. He doesn’t immediately pull away either. I stare at a pile of brown hair, already at seven seconds in my head when he moves to become eye level with me. Then he looks at me with a fierce expression, before saying something so profound it confiscates my air. “The night I killed for you was my promise to stay. No oath can be broken when sealed with blood.”
My body surges forward and my lips steal his. I wrap around him, coercing him between my legs. I’ll never tire of the way his thick body feels against my petite one. “Want to do it again?”
He bites at my lip, before pulling away. “I have something to tell you.”
The seriousness that washes over him concerns me. “What is it?”
“I have to leave for a while.”
My brows crease. “Where are you going? And how long is a while?”
“I have to go back to Illinois. Business. I’m not sure how long I’ll be. As long as it takes.”
“Well why didn’t you say so? Can I go? I kind of miss the guys.”
“Not that kind of business.”
Dread pools in the pit of my stomach. He’s being vague. One thing I’ve fallen in love with in regard to Kross is his honesty and the fact that he holds nothing back. I don’t like this secretive side. “Then what kind of business would have you shutting me out when you’ve taken me to fucking deals before? Before I was even okay with it.”
“This is bigger than you. You’re fucking pregnant. I don’t want you stressing over it.”
I look at him, anger building from the seed of fear planted. I roll out from under him before he can trap me, quickly making my way to the connecting bathroom. I hear it when his feet hit the floor and then he comes following closely behind. He pushes the door open with force as I enter, the knob slamming against the wall. “Delta,” he barks.
“I need to get ready for work,” I say, turning on the shower. As steam billows, I step inside, hoping he will leave me alone. When I’m angry and have no control over what I’m angry about, it’s best to just sulk it off. No such luck. He steps inside behind me, pulling the glass door closed. “What do you want? You said your piece.”
“Don’t be a bitch.”
I spin around. Water is running down his front like a waterfall gliding over rocks, making every tattoo glossy instead of matte. Oh, for all that is holy, why must his body look like that? “Seriously? Do you have special privileges that I’m not entitled to? You’re an asshole on the regular. This is one of those times when I want to punch you in the dick like you gave me permission to do. We’re a couple. You’ve trusted me with everything else. Why not now? You brought me into this life, and because I wanted you, I overlooked things. Because I love you, I’m a part of it. You don’t just fucking tell me you’re leaving with no date of return and then keep me in the dark. We’re supposed to be in this together.”
He steps forward, cornering me in the tile shower, his palms planting on the wall to each side of me. “You want to know where I’m going? Fine. I was trying to protect you mentally. You seem to be skittish where breaking the law is concerned, and your conscience is a hell of a lot more active than mine. That file that Kaston had on me—I asked him to track down the bastard I share DNA with. The man that, coincidentally, I’m a lot fucking like. I’m going to kill him, just like he killed my mother. He sentenced me to a life in Hell, so I’m going to send him there with the cunt that raised me, raped me, and ruined me. It’s taken Kaston a while to get a lead, but I finally got his latest location this morning. It’s why I was awake. I have to go.”
Panic starts to rise. “Take me with you.”
He shakes his head. “No.”
“Why not? You have for everything else.”
“Do you really think I’d hand him my weakness on a fucking platter? You make it more dangerous. I need you here where I know you’re safe.”
“Can’t you just let it go? Please. Stay here with me.”
“I can’t. I’ll be back when I’m done disposing of his body.”
My fear of something happening to him has my entire body in a state of distress, grasping at straws. “You want me to talk about this baby? I will. What if something happens? What if you end up in prison, or worse? We both grew up without a father, Kross. Don’t do that to our baby. Please stay. It’s not worth the risk.”
He leans forward, his large body towering over me, his hand gripping my chin firmly so that I won’t turn away. “I need to do this, Delta,” he says softly, “for us. Including the baby.”
His eyes are sincere, his expression raw. There is nothing hard present in them right now. He’s unguarded, which is rare for him. My confusion doubles. “Why?”
“I need to free myself from the one thing that cripples me. There is no future without closure from the past. He’s the one link to the memories, the torment, and the reason I’m so fucked up. I’m tired of the mind games. If you want me to be the best man for you, to come to terms with this baby, then this is something I have to do. I realized how much I was like him when the memory came back, knowing I, too, ordered you to abort our kid. I can’t be like him anymore. He has to die, Delta, or I’ll never live in peace.”
My heart is overcome with heartache. I’m torn between the man I love and our child. I can’t send him off, but I can’t ask him to stay, so I’ll be his support, regardless of how I feel. I wrap my arms around him and stand on my tiptoes to increase my height. He uses it as a cue to pick me up, holding me against the shower wall. “Some of your behavior may be similar to his, but I think you’re more like your mother. You care. From the beginning, you’ve cared. That’s what scares me the most, because the opposite is what makes him lethal. Do what you must and then come back to me, but please don’t ask me to stay behind again.”
And then he kisses me in a way he never has before: with finality.
I watch him as he pulls out a large black duffel bag from the closet next to the basement entry. I follow him down the stairs into the basement, my black nails shredding between my teeth as I watch him quickly pack it with weapons of every size and make. He’s not preparing to silently take out one man, he’s preparing for an ambush.
My nerves are on edge with every second that passes. I’ve already forgotten about how it felt when he made love to me in the shower. “How are you even going to take all of that if you’re flying?”
He doesn’t stop. “It’ll meet me there. Moving arsenal is what I do best.”
My eyes are stinging from the tears building up that I’m trying to hold back. It all is becoming so much more real now. He walks to a bookshelf and moves a book, revealing a keypad. Ten digits and he’s pulling the entire shelf open like a door. A huge safe comes into view with its own lock. He opens it. My eyes widen when he pulls out stacks of cash, then closes it back, locking it and positioning everything back into place as if it doesn’t exist.
He closes the duffle bag and walks toward me, handing me one stack of money and a bank bag. I stare at it. “Take it.”
“No. What’s this for?”
He shoves the bank bag at me first. “Credit cards in your name I authorized a while back and had put up. Codes to the safe if something were to happen. Everything you need is in there if I don’t come back, including GPS coordinates to cash stash houses and information for offshore bank accounts. Spare keys to everything.” He then hands me the thick, bank-wrapped stack of hundreds. “Cash. For an emergency.”
I shake my head, refusing to take it, but he forces it into my hands. “No. What the fuck, Kross? This was supposed to be something easy. You go, do, you come back. Simple. Whatever this fucked-up shit is was not part of it. You’re scaring me.” The tears disobey my command to stay and spill from my eyes in thick cascading waves. “I didn’t agree to this.”
He grips behind my neck and pulls me toward him. “Look at me.”
I shake my head, my eyes clenched shut as the cries of fear consume me. “Delta, look at me.” I finally do as he says, my eyes sore from the fast, uncontrollable crying. “I watched him murder my mother without hesitation at a young age. Why he had a conscience when it came to me, I’m unsure. He’s the kingpin of a massive underground prostitution ring he hides with strip clubs. He’s smart or he’d be in prison. I told you, we’re a lot alike in ways. He didn’t get that way by playing it safe. I’m not stupid or overly confident. He’s either going to die or I am.”
“Why are you doing this to me? To us?”
My shoulders slump and I sob, holding everything to my chest. Just when I thought everything was perfect, we end up here. I should have known better.
Stupid, stupid girl.
“Delta, I need you to listen to me.”
It’s hard to pull air into my lungs. “Please don’t go.”
“Be my eyes and ears, baby. You can sit with Remington until I get back when you go to the shop. You can start tattooing on your own when I return. Never go anywhere alone unless you’re here at home. I have cameras all over this fucking property. Johnny’s number is in your phone. One single thing seems off, you call him. Got it?” I nod, my entire body numb. “You can track my location on the app just like I can yours. I already programmed everything before I gave you the phone. I’ll leave it on until I’m forced to turn it off for your protection. If something happens . . .” I cry harder. He squeezes the back of my neck. “If something happens to me everything is yours. Kaston will help you figure out the details. Take care of our baby.”
I wrap my arms around him and cling on with every ounce of strength I have, my body quivering. This is a nightmare, every woman’s worst-case scenario.
He forces me to look at him. “I love you, girl. One thing I thought I’d never do, and that’s all you. Now I know there is always something worth living for, no matter how bad things are.” He kisses me and pulls away too soon. “I gotta go before I lose track of him.”
I hold on tighter, but he forcefully separates us and makes his way toward the stairs. My heart is pounding against my chest. “Kross, wait. There is something I need to tell you,” I force out when he’s already halfway to the top. He looks like a fucking God up there, perched on top of the world. That’s Kross. He dominates everything with only his existence. “I love you. I-I knew who you were when I scheduled my tattoo appointment. I sought you out from the first time I read about you in the article of that tattoo magazine. I had to know you, to meet you in the very least. You’re not the crazy one. It’s me. I’ll always love you, all of you—the beautiful, the bad, and the broken. Now I need you. I lied. I can’t do this alone. I need you to come back. Promise me you’ll be back.”
He smiles down at me; that sexy smirk as if he’s already one step ahead. “I knew everything there was to know about you the night you and Lux walked into my studio. It was easy once I had your information sheet. I knew then I wasn’t letting you completely walk away. Lux just gave me an opening and I took it.”
More tears fall. “I’m madly in love with you.”
“Tell me again when I get back.”
Then he continues up the stairs and disappears through the door, leaving me completely alone. I stare at it, in shock, my face soaked in a salty concentrated liquid. My brain finally restarts, and I take off running, but as I open the front door, his truck is already turning out of the driveway onto the road.
I slam it back, angry and hurt. I don’t feel like doing a fucking thing. I’m exhausted, and I’m all alone in this big house. I feel like I could sleep for a week. Kross always had a way of making me forget about the pregnancy symptoms, and with his departure, they’re all coming back full force.
I want to sit and chain smoke a pack of cigarettes. The craving is intense. One surely wouldn’t hurt. What am I thinking? Kross would kill me. A bath. That’s what I need, and it’s safe for all attending parties.
