Emery cries from the little rocking thing next to Delta’s side of the bed. It looks like a cocoon or sling hanging from a metal frame. I keep saying that it can’t be good for her spine, but Delta swears up and down the reviews are good and if it wasn’t safe that it wouldn’t be on the market. It’s a fight I didn’t win, even though I volunteered to move her crib in here. She claims if we do that, then we’ll never get her out and it’ll destroy our sex life and take away the intimacy of our relationship. I don’t see how. Nothing could change that.
I roll over on top of Delta, holding myself off of her. I’ve been staring at the ceiling for about three hours, waiting and thinking since my feeding at 3AM. I offered to take the middle of the night feeding since I’ve always been up this time anyway, but this particular one has me on edge.
It’s been two weeks since we came home from the hospital and there is one thing missing. It’s something I should have done a long time ago. If I were being honest, I’ve considered it in my head for a while, trying to work out the pros and cons. All I seem to come up with are positives. The fear of the negatives should I not do it are what keeps replaying in my head, over and over, as if it’s stuck on repeat.
I kiss her neck, my tongue tasting her skin. She pushes her head back and wraps her legs around me, her eyes still closed, giving me more room. I make my way to her jaw, but before I get there, she’s already pushing my briefs over my ass. “Kross, I need you.”
“Still got four more weeks, baby.”
She growls out, pulling me between her legs. “I don’t care. I want you to do it. That’s probably just a precaution.”
Emery cries again. Her cries are so soft they’re easy to tune out. I pull the lobe of her ear between my teeth. “Baby is up.”
Her eyes finally open. “Okay.”
I kiss her. “You change her and I’ll get the bottle.”
“You don’t have to. It’s my turn. You can sleep,” she says sleepily.
I smirk. “Been up. Was waiting on you. I’ll get the bottle.”
I move off of her so she can sit up. “You’re in a good mood for it to be this early. What am I missing? You’re hard and not getting laid. I don’t smell your death coffee and there is a little person crying at the butt-crack of dawn. Are you possessed?” Her eyes widen with wakefulness. “I swear on all that is holy, if you’re high, I will fucking punch you. I may have chosen bottles over boobs because of the metal compromising my nipples but that is completely unfair.”
I stand, pulling on a pair of cotton pants from the dresser. “It’s a good thing your morning moodiness has always been a turn-on for me. I may not be getting laid, but I nut just fine with your lips wrapped around it. Secondly, coffee is an option for me, not a requirement. I haven’t been high in months. Lastly, if I pissed myself constantly and had to depend on someone to change me, I’d throw a fit too. Don’t blame her. Change her. I’ll be back.”
And with her sitting in the bed, gaping at me, I leave the room.
Delta
Emery cries out again, drawing my attention. I pick her up out of the Rock ‘N Play, still tightly swaddled, cradling her in my arms. I kiss her forehead as I run my fingers through her headful of silky, black hair. I was a little shocked she had so much. I can put tiny bows in it already. “You are one powerful little person, Emery. You have Daddy wrapped around your finger. I’m a little jealous.”
I stand and walk to her room, laying her down on the changing table to change her diaper. I pull the blanket open, instantly confused. “What are you wearing? Did you mess up your clothes?”
When she went to bed, she was wearing a footed sleeper and now she’s wearing a black, long sleeve onesie with the sleeve ends folded over her hands. It’s one I’ve never seen before, the writing on the front crumpled some because she’s so little. I unbutton the bottom and pull it down to stretch it out. “Oh . . . God.”
I wipe the tears from my eyes as I read the vinyl for the fifth time: Mommy, will you marry Daddy?
I pick her up and snuggle her to my chest, before turning to go find Kross. I stop dead in my tracks when my eyes land on him. He’s kneeling down on one knee, a ring box in his hands, open, with a one-of-a-kind ring nestled inside. “You do have me wrapped around your finger, Delta; the only woman that ever has. I know I’m a little late, but this is the only thing left to make you completely mine. You left me once. I hated every second you were gone. I’ll do anything to make sure it doesn’t happen again. You’re already my girl, my roommate, my best friend, and the mother of my daughter, so I’m going to ask you . . . Will you be my wife?”
“Are you fucking serious?”
Tears are pouring down my face to the point that he’s blurry.
He shines the smile that makes me weak at the knees—the panty dropper as I call it. “I’m fucking serious,” he answers, and takes the ring from the box, before grabbing my left hand and sliding it just over the tip. “What’s it going to be, baby? Yes or no. I’m not sure my heart can take the latter.”
“Yes, I’ll marry you! I thought you’d never ask.”
He pushes the ring on my finger, sliding it into place. The band is black and consists of three large, round-cut diamonds in a single row, the middle twice the size of the ones flanking it. Each diamond is showcased in a V-shaped setting of small, round diamonds lightening the dark they’re placed in. They’re raised from the band, showing off all angles to catch the light. It’s beautiful, but that’s not even the part that has me crying all over again. Capping each end is a small skull in black to match the band, the back of the skull flush against the end diamond setting, the mouth facing another small patch of diamonds. It’s perfect in every sense of the word. It’s us. “Where did you get this?”
He stands, pulling Emery and me against his bare chest. “It’s a Jeulia design I bought and took to a jeweler and had a real one custom made. In life and in death, you’re the only girl for me. Either side we stand on, I promise it’ll be together. Forever will never be more literal for anyone than me. I love you. Both of you.”
This man will never understand how beautiful he truly is. No one loves harder than the ones that fought through hatred and heartache to find it. I’m honored to call him mine. I’m lucky that he chose me. And if he’ll have me, I’ll never let him go. “I love you too. I really do.”
The End. For now.
