Both Daisy and I have taken up sentinel outside the bathroom door. The sounds that are coming from inside…
I grimace.
At this rate, Noah is going to lose a solid five pounds. Maybe more.
I scrub a hand over my face in disbelief. What’s occurring in there could have just as easily have happened to me. If I’d come home earlier, I’m the one who would be crapping my intestines out right now. Another wave of anger rolls through me and I spin toward Daisy with a glare.
“I can’t believe you added laxatives to the brownies! And you were totally going to let me eat them if Noah hadn’t gotten to them first!” I shake my head. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
For once in her life, Daisy has the good grace to drop her eyes and keep her mouth shut. “I shouldn’t have done it,” she admits quietly after almost a minute of silence, a guilty flush stealing across her creamy complexion.
I throw my hands in the air. “What were you thinking?”
“Payback,” she mutters under her breath before clearing her throat. “I wanted to get you back for telling everyone in class that I was your baby mama.” She sighs and adds, “Along with the other things you’ve done lately.”
“Seems like that backfired, now didn’t it?” I snipe.
Noah lets loose another long string of flatulence accompanied by a guttural groan. After a moment of blessed silence, he whimpers, “Is my mom here yet?”
Daisy moves closer to the door. “She’ll be here any minute, Noah. She was going to stop at the pharmacy and pick up some stuff to help your stomach.” She covers her nose and mouth with her hand and takes a few steps away from the bathroom.
She doesn’t mention the stench, but it’s hard to miss. I don’t know whose brilliant idea it was to put the bathroom right off the living room, but it seems like poor planning on part of the architect.
“Maybe you should light a candle in there,” she suggests.
“I’m not concerned about lighting a damn candle!” Noah snaps. “I’m worried that my intestines are falling out of my ass!”
Daisy flinches.
There’s a rap of knuckles on the apartment door, and I jog over knowing it’ll be Noah’s Mom. Thank fuck, she’s here. I’m fairly useless in a situation like this.
“Hi, sweetie.” Marnie pecks my cheek and strides into the living room where Daisy paces. “Hi, baby,” she says, pulling her niece in for a quick hug. She knocks on the bathroom door and gently asks, “How you doing, Noah? You okay?”
“No,” he groans, “I’m not okay! Daisy tried to kill me with brownies!”
Daisy’s eyes flare wide, her hair flying from side to side as she shakes her head. “I didn’t.” She gulps, like she’s trying to swallow a mouthful of saltines. “Really.”
Pity flickers in me and I quickly snuff it out because she doesn’t deserve it. She did this to herself.
“Brownies?” Marnie’s brows pull together as she turns to her niece. “What’s he talking about, Daze? You don’t even cook.”
Daisy opens her mouth to explain, but Noah beats her to the punch by yelling, “She whipped up a batch of brownies this afternoon and added laxatives to them!” Another explosion comes from the bathroom before he flushes the toilet for the hundredth time.
“Noah wasn’t supposed to eat them,” Daisy whispers, glancing away.
As if that makes the situation better.
I fold my arms across my chest and scowl, still unable to believe she did this.
Apparently, Marnie agrees because she tilts her head to the side as she glares at Daisy. “Who were they meant for?”
You better believe she’s got that hairy-eyeball-parent-look down pat. The woman should be used for interrogations. I don’t know many people who could withstand one of her disapproving stares without spilling every secret they know. Hell, I’m ready to confess a few of my own, and she’s not even looking at me.
Daisy sucks her lower lip into her mouth and gnaws it. My gaze is drawn to the movement and something stirs in my gut. Actually, the stirring is much lower.
Un-freaking-believable.
This is so not the time for that.
Marnie’s eyes widen, and her mouth falls open as she realizes the dessert was meant for me. “You made laxative brownies for…Carter?”
Before Daisy can offer up any explanations, Marnie throws up a hand, cutting her off. “You know what, I don’t want to hear any excuses right now. There are more pressing matters that need to be taken care of.” She points to the couch. “Go sit. I’ll deal with you two later.”
Wait just a minute here…
Why am I being included?
I haven’t done anything wrong. I’m the victim in this situation.
More explosions rumble from the bathroom.
So maybe I’m not the victim per se. But I was the intended victim. That should count for something.
I square my shoulders, ready to defend myself. “Ummm, can I just say—”
Noah’s Mom whirls toward me faster than expected, catching me off guard. “No, you may not.” She stabs a finger toward the couch. “Sit!”
“Okay, okay.” Wanting to placate her, I hold up my hands in a gesture of surrender. “I’m sitting.”
She gives me an exasperated look much like the one she gave Daisy and turns back to the bathroom. “Noah,” she says softly, “I picked up more toilet paper—”
“Thank God,” he groans.
“And some Gatorade to replenish your electrolytes, along with an anti-diarrheal medicine that should help the stomach cramps.” She pauses. “I’m going to open the door and place the bag inside, okay?”
“Yeahhhh,” Noah’s drawls on a whimper.
Marnie opens the door and staggers back a step. “Sweet baby Jesus. That odor is certainly pungent.” With her head turned away, she sets the grocery bag on the floor inside the small windowless room and slams the door closed again. She staggers back a few paces and sucks in a deep breath before exhaling it.
Eyes narrowed, her gaze swings toward us. She plants her hands on her hips and says in a no-nonsense tone, “Whatever problems you two are having, get them solved now before someone gets hurt.”
I straighten, as does Daisy.
“I have been hurt!” Noah shouts from the bathroom. “I no longer have a colon!”
Daisy collapses and hangs her head. “I’m sorry, Aunt Marnie. This is all my fault. What I did was childish and irresponsible. I wasn’t thinking about the repercussions.”
“No, you certainly weren’t.” Marnie’s gaze slides over to me. A blond brow lifts.
Apparently, I won’t be getting off scot-free. I’m not even going to try and argue my way out of this one because deep down, I know I’m partially to blame.
“It’s my fault as well,” I pipe up. “I started it.”
When I crashed her date, I never expected the situation to escalate so far out of control. Everything I’ve done to mess with her lately floods back to me, and I realize this is probably more my fault than hers. I’ve screwed with Daisy since the day I met her. Usually, all I get in return is a bit of attitude.
Obviously, that wasn’t the case this time.
Daisy gives me a bit of wide side-eye.
“I love you both.” Aunt Marnie jerks her chin toward the bathroom. “And so does Noah. But you two need to figure out how to coexist peacefully without acting like a pair of unruly children.”
With bright red cheeks, Daisy nods. “We will. I promise.”
“Yeah,” I add. “We’ll do better from now on.”
My need to push Daisy away is what started this ball rolling and ultimately shaped our relationship into what it is now. I did whatever I could to keep her at a safe distance. I guess it’s up to me to rectify the situation moving forward. There are eight months left before we go our separate ways.
Surely, I can behave that long.
