A side from Ellie being anxious during our red-eye flight home and me staying up with her for a couple of hours, talking about everything and anything, until she finally dozed off, we make it back to Lake Wisteria without any issues.
Ever since we returned to my home and the eight animals who are thankfully still alive, Ellie has been abnormally quiet, to the point that I forgot that she was even in the house. It wasn’t until she popped into my office around dinnertime to let me know that the food was ready that I realized she hadn’t taken Nico out to the pond or to the park in town.
As much as I want to spend time with them, I needed to start catching up on two weeks’ worth of work. I am so busy answering emails, checking Dwelling app analytics, and reviewing tasks with my assistant that I don’t get around to eating what Ellie prepared until long after they are done and their dishes are put away.
After spending fourteen days in Hawaii, sharing almost every meal together, the kitchen is unnervingly quiet today.
I despise it.
Distracting myself with work doesn’t lessen the loneliness like it used to, and tonight I can’t seem to focus on anything but the empty void in my chest that Nico and Ellie’s company seems to fill.
I miss Nico’s giggles and Ellie’s small smiles. Miss the way she loosened up a bit after a cocktail and shared interesting stories from her childhood and the time she spent living in Los Angeles. She always made the cutest half-snort, half-scoff sound whenever I made a snide remark, and her deep laughs—which don’t happen often—always filled me with unbridled pride.
I miss her like she isn’t currently in the basement with Nico, helping him practice his Strawberry Festival musical piece. Like I didn’t spend the last two weeks constantly around her and soaking up her attention.
In the past, it would have concerned me to care about someone outside my family like that, but I’m not afraid.
I’m motivated.
Starting tomorrow, I’m going to prioritize eating dinner with Ellie and Nico, even if it means staying up a little later to finish my tasks for work. I’ll even stock the wet bar with mango margarita supplies, since she loved them, and every single flavor of Hawaiian Sun since they’re Nico’s favorite.
After I finish my food, pack away the leftovers for tomorrow, and help put Nico to bed, I seek Ellie out. I remember her telling me that she wanted to go check on the animals once Nico fell asleep, so I head outside.
I walk over to the barn, only to stop near the entrance once I hear her talking.
“I’m going to miss seeing you every day.”
One of the goats bleats.
Miss them? Why?
“I just got back here and now I’ll be leaving again.” She sighs.
Leaving? Where?
“I love spending time with you too.” She chuckles to herself as a second goat makes a noise. “I’ll try to come back as often as possible…if he doesn’t hate me, that is.”
Is she talking about me? Why the hell would I hate her?
I’m thinking about all the ways I can spend more time with her, and this is what she is thinking about?
Nothing she’s saying makes sense, so I mentally flip through today’s sequence of events, searching for clues as to why Ellie would be talking to the animals like she plans on not coming back.
Just the other night I told her she can’t—
I can’t be his nanny forever.
Something about that statement seemed off in the moment, but I ignored it because I assumed she was talking about way down the line. Not now.
Feet shuffling in the goat’s pen, followed by their door closing and the lock sliding into place, has me stiffening. Ellie hasn’t seen me yet, so I marvel at her like she’s a work of art.
She may not be wearing a dress like on all those nights in Hawaii, but she isn’t wearing her usual leggings and hoodies either.
My heart swells with pride. Her outfit is casual, but her T-shirt and shorts carry so much meaning. It might have taken her time to become comfortable enough to do so in Nico’s and my presence, but I would have waited as long as it took for her.
“Rafa?” Her voice snaps me out of my thoughts.
“Elle.” My voice is rough and guttural.
“How long have you been standing there?”
I push away from one of the barn’s support columns. “Long enough.”
I don’t have all the facts, but I’ve gathered enough to know she owes me a few answers.
Her face pales. “Oh.”
I drag my eyes away, hoping it eases the ache in my chest. “Are you quitting?”
She bites on the inside of her cheek. “Maybe we should go inside the house—”
“Just tell me.”
She looks around the entire barn before her eyes land back on me. “I’m afraid of how you’ll react.”
“I may not have…had the best control over my reactions in the past, but I won’t get mad at you for being honest with me.”
She looks at me like she doesn’t believe me, and I stare back until she does.
After a long sigh, she finally says, “Cole wants to fly me out to Europe so I can help him write an album while he is on tour.”
A sharp pain shoots through my chest, strong enough to make my next breath hurt. Ellie crosses her arms as if she is bracing herself for me to lash out.
So I take a few deep breaths and school my features. I had a feeling it could happen, especially after reading the lyrics to all the songs she wrote for Ava, but reality hits me harder than I thought.
“How long?” I ask with a neutral tone.
She shoots me a quivering smile. “Five weeks.”
Fuck. That is a lot longer than I would like, although she would still be able to make it in time for our trip to see the Mexican Grand Prix.
“And when would you leave?”
“After the Strawberry Festival.”
“So you’ll still be around until then?”
“Yup. I wouldn’t miss Nico’s performance for anything.” Her smile is small but sure.
I don’t want her to go, but I also want what is best for her. She is brilliant and talented, and it’s time someone recognizes that, even if that person happens to be Cole.
I want Ellie to shine like she was meant to, but that isn’t possible if she stays with me in the dark.
It hurts like hell to know I will have to let her go, but at the same time, I understand it is the best decision for her, which makes it the right choice for me.
Even if it feels wrong now.
My head may be spinning, but my heart is calm. No skipped beats. No racing pulse. No blood whooshing in my ears or temples throbbing. Honestly, if it weren’t for the fact that I’m still breathing, I would question if it was working properly.
My smile is honest. “I’m happy for you.”
Her brows hike up toward her hairline. “You are?”
I nod despite the tension in my neck. “I’m incredibly proud as well. I knew you were talented, but to score a job working for Cole? That’s a career-making opportunity.”
“Um…”
I walk over and pull her into my arms. “It’s okay to be happy about this.”
Her face crumples. “But I feel so conflicted.”
“I can help make the decision easier.”
“How?”
My hand finds the small of her back. “For starters, I’m not going to make you a competitive offer.”
“You’re not?” She tilts her head.
“No.”
A frown appears between her brows. “You could at least look torn up about me leaving.”
I am, but in a way, I feel free to do what I want now that we no longer have her job or Nico standing between us, and that in itself is a reason to celebrate.
I wrap my hand around the back of her neck. “Elle?”
“Yeah?”
“You know I like you, right?” I brush my thumb across her cheek.
“Well, I did hear you tell Nico that a few days ago, yes.” She looks confused as she tries to follow my train of thought.
“Remember that in a second, okay?”
“Wha—”
“You’re fired.”
Her protest dies when I crush my lips against her and kiss her like I’ve been wanting to.
Like I’ve been dying to.
Without anything holding us back, I pour everything into our kiss, showing her exactly how I feel without ever uttering a single word.
With her in my arms, I’m happy and hopeful. Like I’m no longer stuck in reverse because I found the brightest star to guide me out of the dark.
Elle Sinclair.
