I knew my happiness couldn’t last forever. Ellie and I have spent the last week since coming back to Lake Wisteria in a haze, and it was only a matter of time before reality caught up to me.
I just wish my son wasn’t collateral damage as well.
“Nico,” I call after him.
He slams his bedroom door and flips the lock. “I don’t want to go!”
I test the doorknob anyway. “But you’ve worked so hard for this.”
He and Ellie have been practicing his Strawberry Festival song for two months straight, so to hear that he no longer wants to perform because of her…
It makes me want to rage.
I knew Hillary could flake, but I didn’t want to tell Nico that just in case she kept her promise. He seemed so hopeful about it, so taking that away from him felt unfair.
And look where that got you.
I lean my forehead against the door. “Everyone who loves you will be there.”
“I don’t care! I quit!”
“Quit what?”
“Music! What’s the point anyway?” Nico’s sobs can be heard through the door. My chest aches at the sound, and I wish I could take away his pain. Wish I could do anything but stand around, unable to protect him from the one person who always manages to hurt him.
I don’t know what the fuck to do. I hate her too, but she is his mother. She has a legal right to talk to and see her son, even if it is sporadic, and there is nothing I can do about it.
I pull out my phone and shoot Ellie an SOS text before testing Nico’s doorknob again. “Will you let me come inside? Please?”
He ignores me and tries to muffle his cries with what I assume is a pillow.
“I’m here for you.” I slide down to the floor and lean my back against the door.
The helplessness I feel toward my son reminds me too much of my childhood, and it triggers a darkness within me that I can’t seem to eradicate.
I’m not sure how long I sit there, checking in on Nico periodically, but I lose all concept of time until a door across the house shuts. The sound of Ellie’s footsteps echoes off the high ceiling before she turns the corner and appears like an angel dressed in black.
“Hey.” She slides down to the floor and pulls me into a hug.
“He doesn’t want to open the door. Says he is quitting music for good.”
“Do you want me to try something?”
“I mean, you can, but I don’t know if he will be willing. He’s absolutely gutted.”
Fuck my ex-wife. First thing Monday, I’m reaching out to my lawyer and figuring out a better solution to our problem. If she doesn’t want to be in Nico’s life, fine, but I refuse to let her string him along like she did me.
I don’t care how much it will cost me in the long run or if she will feel like she finally won. The cost of my pride is nothing compared to the price of Nico’s broken heart.
Ellie’s fist knocks against the door. “Nico.”
Silence follows.
“Will you let me come inside?” she asks.
The quiet is stifling.
“If you don’t want to go today, that’s okay. I won’t be upset with you.”
His sniffle can be heard through the door. “You won’t?”
“Of course not. I’ve heard you play that song a thousand times. In fact, maybe I’ll go up there myself and play it better.”
“You wish,” he grumbles.
Ellie sighs. “Hm. Wanna bet?”
He groans. “I know what you’re doing.”
“Is it working?”
“No.” Although he doesn’t sound too sure.
“Will you please open the door? Your dad and I are worried about you.”
Soft shuffling, followed by the metallic click of a lock sliding, fills the quiet before the door opens.
I fall back but catch my balance before I hit the floor. Ellie swoops in and pulls Nico into her arms.
“I’m sorry your mom won’t be there today.”
He snuggles into her and cries. “I really wanted her to see me.”
She rubs his back soothingly. “I know.”
“I thought maybe if I made her happy, she would want to come more.”
Ellie and I share a look. Her glassy eyes add pressure to the one already building in my chest.
Nico’s statement reminds me so much of something I would have said as a kid, and it wrecks me to know that will never be the case. He can’t make a miserable person happy. They’re the only ones who can do that, and his mom is hell-bent on making everyone else feel equally unhappy.
I’ll make this right somehow, even if it means flying out to Oregon and having a word with Nico’s mother myself. I’m done with her mind games because the stakes have changed. I have two people to look out for now, and neither of them deserves her bullshit.
I’m the one who got us into this mess to begin with, which means I’m the only person who can get us out.
“Can I tell you a story?” Ellie asks, cooling some of my angry thoughts.
Nico nods, and she carries him to the bed. He takes a seat on her lap, and I sit beside them both.
Ellie brushes Nico’s hair back. “I used to be like you.”
His eyes widen. “You did?”
She nods. “My dad never went to my shows or seasonal concerts or listened to me practice. He said music made me soft and kept my head in the clouds.”
I wish I could wrap my arm around her and tuck her into my side forever, but I clench my fists and refrain from giving in to the urge.
My son gasps. “No.”
Ellie frowns. “Yeah. I almost quit altogether because it made me so sad.”
“But you’re amazing.”
She smiles. “Thank you.”
He sucks in a breath. “Wait! If you quit, then you wouldn’t have been my tutor!”
“Exactly.”
“Or my nanny?”
“Nope.”
His mouth falls open. “And then you wouldn’t have met Cole Griffin.”
“No, I probably wouldn’t have.”
“Whoa.”
Ellie chuckles. “Life is like a row of dominoes. One choice sends the next one falling and so on.”
Different emotions flash across Nico’s face as his understanding of the world deepens.
“What I’m trying to say is that if I had quit music because my dad didn’t like it, then I wouldn’t have ended up here with you.”
He wraps his arms around her neck. “Thank you for not quitting.”
We sit in silence, with Ellie soothing Nico while I rub small circles in the center of her back.
It was always just Nico and me, even when Hillary was here, but now I realize I don’t have to share the joys and setbacks of parenting alone. I can count on Ellie too because she loves my son without any conditions, paychecks, or child support payments keeping her here.
It is clear she could love anyone’s child, but I’m lucky she chose mine.
And for the first time since she mentioned the idea of kids, I wonder what it would be like to raise one as a team.
Together.
Lake Wisteria’s Strawberry Festival is the biggest event of the year—even more so than the others that take place in fall, winter, and spring. My aunt, as the town’s event planner, puts months into finalizing every single detail, and this year truly is one of the best.
Rows of tents line the festival fairgrounds, featuring everything strawberry related. Food, drinks, clothes. You name it, there is a damn strawberry somewhere on it.
Nico has loved this weekend since he was a toddler, and I’m glad he decided to come regardless of his mother’s decision.
Ellie and I arrive at the Strawberry Festival with Nico dressed in his favorite suit and his fanciest pair of glasses that he saves for special occasions like today.
The stage is already set up with a piano that Ellie’s stepdad loaned to the event planning team, and a sea of townspeople fills the seats. Together, Ellie and I take him backstage, where he peeks at the crowd from behind the stage left curtain.
“How are you feeling?” Ellie kneels and readjusts his bow tie.
“Good.”
“Hm. We need better than good.” She reaches to tickle him, and he squirms with a laugh.
“Fine! Great!”
She winks. “Much better.”
I lean over and kiss the top of his head. “I’m proud of you for coming, mijo.”
He grabs his lapels and sticks his chest out. “If I want to become a rock star one day, I can’t quit.”
Ellie pulls him into a hug before I do the same.
“Everyone, please welcome Nicolas Lopez!”
“That’s me!” He rushes out, completely forgetting about us. My son is a damn performer, bowing for the crowd before dramatically brushing his hands across the keys.
The number of people watching has doubled in the short time it took him to check in and get backstage, and it makes my chest swell with pride knowing my son’s talent is appreciated by so many people.
With a sigh, I wrap my arms around Ellie and prop my chin on her shoulder.
She steps out of my embrace and turns to face me. “Someone could see us.”
“Would you rather they didn’t?”
She bites down on her bottom lip. “Yes, but not for the reason you probably think.”
“Right.” I exhale loudly, earning a small frown from her.
She pulls me away from the stage and deeper into the shadows. “I’m not ashamed of us. It’s just…” The words struggle to make it past her lips, and she gets distracted by the first few notes of Nico’s song.
I cradle her chin and will her to look back at me. “What?”
Her hand brushes down the center of my chest. “I just want to keep you all to myself for a little while longer. Once everyone finds out, they’ll never leave us alone.”
“Now that you mention it… maybe we should keep it a secret forever. That way we can avoid my family trying to steal you away from me.”
She laughs while giving my shoulder a shove. “I meant a few weeks at most.”
“Fine. I can manage that.” I pull her deeper into the shadows before circling my arms around her waist again.
She sinks into me as Nico plays the song they practiced a countless number of times. Goose bumps spread over my arms at the melody floating through the air, and my eyes turn misty at watching him.
My son was born to shine, and I’m so proud to be his dad.
“He truly is amazing,” Ellie whispers.
“I know.”
“No, seriously. He is going to be famous one day. Mark my words and today’s date.”
“Thankfully, he will have you to help guide him through that process after he graduates from high school.”
She tilts her head and kisses my jawline. “You’re thinking that far ahead?”
“Yeah, I am.”
The smile on Ellie’s face isn’t one I plan on forgetting in this lifetime.
