Once I get Ava in my arms, it’s game over. It doesn’t matter that things between us are on shaky ground or that the past few days have been an absolute nightmare. As soon as I feel her against me and inhale her perfume, everything is okay again.
For as long as we’re in the back seat of Dougie’s car, touching each other and breathing the same air, we’re okay.
I continue to stroke Ava’s arm as we sit in the car, her cheek against my chest and my chin on her head. I stare down at her clasped hands in her lap and force myself not to grab them and place them on my body. It’s only been days without feeling her touch, but that doesn’t seem to matter to me anymore. The memory of her tucking her face into my chest on that sidewalk just minutes ago is enough to give me some reprieve.
She’s being reserved right now, but the least I can do is try to understand what she’s thinking and let her take this space. I threw myself into that situation with her mother before she was ready to see me, and I’m lucky she didn’t outright refuse to come with me.
“Ava, I’m sure this is the last thing you want to talk about right now, but I do need to know who that woman was. Oakley’s stuck his foot in this mess now, and with the pictures—”
“I know. Damage control,” she says flatly. I set my hand on her thigh and meet Dougie’s eyes in the rear-view mirror. He offers an apologetic smile.
“You don’t have to go into detail, baby,” I whisper.
“It’s fine.” She clears her throat. “Rebecca, that woman back there, is my mother. She gave me up when I was a baby and only came back into my life a couple of months ago. Turns out it was all just to get to Oakley.”
“What do you mean?” I gnash my teeth together.
“She’s dating some lacklustre hockey agent, and they saw photos of us together. They got this idea that if we became one big happy family, you would drop your agent and take on her boyfriend. Because you love me and all that.”
Dougie bursts out laughing. I see red. I fucking feel it.
“She said that to you?” I grit out. She nods. “Turn the car around, D. We’re going back.”
He doesn’t turn the car around. “So you can do what? Shout at her? Kick a few walls? Sorry, kid. Not happening.”
“Now, Dougie. I’m not asking.”
“I don’t care if you’re asking or not. We’re not going back there.”
“Fuck, man. Stop thinking about my reputation for one goddamn minute!”
I tense for the briefest second when Ava covers my hand with hers. My stare softens as it falls to look at our joined hands. “We’re not going back. I was already planning on telling her a relationship wouldn’t work between us, and what just happened only makes me more confident in my decision,” she says.
“Are you sure? Shit, Ava. What she did was awful. You don’t have to be okay with it.”
She shrugs, but it’s weighted. “I’ve already grieved her. Yeah, it hurts to know that even after all this time, nothing has changed, but the bar was already on the ground. All she did was dig a hole beneath it and let it drop.”
“Right into hell, it would seem,” Dougie mumbles, and I feel Ava shake with a silent laugh. “Have you met this Link guy, Ava?”
“No. She’s only brought him up a few times.”
“I’ll look into it. What I need you two to do now is go home and stay home until I can figure out a plan. I’ll call in the morning.”
I stare in the mirror and wait for him to glance back. “I thought you wanted me to write a statement tonight.”
“Tonight or tomorrow morning, it won’t matter if we don’t have a plan. Let me make some calls and figure it out,” he says.
I nod and kiss the top of Ava’s head again. She’s so stiff, and fear grows as I start to make sense of the shift in her emotions.
We’ll fix this. We have to, because I’m not letting her go.
The air is tense as we sit on Ava’s bed, neither one of us wanting to be the first to speak. It was easier in the car, our adrenaline pumping and our hearts doing more speaking than our heads.
Ava’s stiff, her closed-off body language doing a great job of letting me know how she’s feeling. Gone are the cuddling and reassuring touches. There’s a rift between us a mile wide, and I’m struggling to get around it.
“You’re not dating Vernonia Anderson,” she states.
“No, I’m not.”
“You’ve never touched her or kissed her. You didn’t lie to me about why you were in Minnesota.”
“I had no idea who she was until I got to that restaurant,” I say, although it seems Ava already knows all of this. Her trust has me feeling more confident and secure. I want to yell with how happy it makes me until she speaks again.
“But it didn’t matter what the truth is because that’s what it looked like to everyone else. It was so easy for one simple dinner to spin into such a mess. One wrong move and I was that girl again. The one who was made out to look like a fool by a man.”
My throat tightens, and I turn my body so I can look at her properly. She has her head hung, her long brown hair creating a dark curtain around her face. Small hands are clasped in her lap, and just like before, I want to peel them apart and hold them, but I don’t. I keep my hands to myself.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Oakley. None of this was your fault. This is just your life. It’s your future, and I just don’t know if I can handle it. I love you, and I won’t ever fault you for doing what you love. God, you’ve earned this opportunity. You deserve it. But I just—I don’t know if I’m that girl.”
My words rush out like the worst case of word vomit. “You’re not that girl. You’re my girl. The worst possible thing that could have happened, happened. But I’m going to take care of it. I’m going to fix it, and it won’t happen again. Shitty people will be shitty no matter what you do, but I won’t let them hurt you again. It doesn’t matter what I have to do to keep it that way. I’d do anything to protect you, Ava.”
“I know you’ll take care of it, and I know you’ll do anything to protect me. But how often are you going to have to put yourself in harm’s way to ensure that happens? You’re not even drafted yet and this happened. What happens once you are?”
“It doesn’t matter because this won’t happen again. You think you’re not the girl to be able to deal with this shit, but I’m not that guy either. The drama, the headlines, the people that get hurt along the way. It’s not for me. Hockey might be my passion, but I won’t put us in this situation again.”
There’s no hint of a lie in my words, and that’s because it’s all truth. Hockey isn’t everything. Not when it could cost me everything else. Ava, my own mental health, my love of the game. Maybe a few months ago, I would have thought differently, but we aren’t back there. We’re here, in this moment, and I’m as sure about this as I’ve been about anything in my entire life.
I suck in a breath and take a risk, reaching for Ava’s hands. When she doesn’t pull them away, I move them to my lap and hold them there. They’re cold, so I hold them tighter.
“I don’t have a plan B, baby. I’m going to need you here beside me in case I need your help creating one.”
Ava lifts her head, and I’m quick to brush her hair back out of her face. My fingertips skim her jaw along the way, and her green eyes shimmer as they meet mine, keeping them locked in place.
“Are you just saying that? Because you were meant to play hockey. It’s your future. I don’t want you to give that up just because you think you’ll lose me if you don’t. That’s not the case here.”
I shake my head. “Hockey has been my dream for as long as I can remember. It’s so close I can almost taste it. And I’m going to make sure I get a taste. It’s what I’ve spent my entire life working toward. I just want you to know that this drama and heartbreak, it isn’t our future. But everything else? That is. My dreams can fit right alongside yours. Just give me a chance to prove it.”
She sighs, her eyes closed. I swallow when she leans closer and bumps her nose against mine, our mouths so close we could hold a piece of paper between them.
“I’m scared of getting hurt again, and you have the power to destroy me,” she whispers.
“I would do anything for you, Ava. Including breaking myself before I would ever risk seeing you get hurt again.”
Suddenly, her lips press to mine in a searing kiss. It’s rough, commanding, hungry. I taste her desperation and, fuck, her love for me. It’s like we’ve reached our boiling point. The moment when everything becomes too much to keep inside, and the only way we can move on and accept what’s happened is by doing this. By devouring each other in a way only two people completely in love with each other can experience.
Her tongue parts my lips as I suck on it, taking control of the kiss. She places her hands on my shoulders and swings her leg over mine before settling in my lap. I nip at her lower lip and rasp, “I love you, Octavia Layton.”
Her eyes blaze. “I love you, Oakley Hutton.”
I push her head back with my nose as I start to suck on the underside of her jaw, making sure to replace the marks that have disappeared over the past few days. She can scold me for it later, after I’ve spent the night reacquainting myself with the way she screams for me when she comes.
“I’m going to marry you someday,” I murmur, biting down gently on the side of her throat. She gasps, grinding down on me.
Carefully, I push my hands through her hair, collecting it in my fists before pulling her head back. She stares at me, pupils blown, puffy pink lips parted.
“I’m going to give you my last name, and we’re going to have a life together. A family. You and me and however many kids you want.”
Her tongue wets her lips, and I track it the entire time, groaning when it slips back into her mouth. She palms my cheek, bringing me close.
“However many I want?” Her hips shift as she slides up and down my lap.
I tighten my grip on her hair and thrust up, letting her cry of pleasure wash over me. “Yeah, baby. However many you want.”
She hums before bringing our mouths back together. I respond eagerly, my hands drifting down her back and to her ass. With one cheek in each hand, I squeeze and use my grip to pull her closer.
“Take off your clothes for me, Ava. I need to see you before I come in my fucking pants.”
She pulls back, and her eyes twinkle like the sky the night we met. My heart tries to fly right out of my chest when she steps out of my lap and lifts her sweater over her head. I skip a breath or two as I watch her strip for me, one article of clothing at a time.
By the time she’s standing in front of me in nothing but a pair of thin pink panties, I’m harder than I’ve ever been. She smiles knowingly as she tucks her fingers into the waistband and shimmies them down her legs, leaving them to pool at her feet.
“Get up here,” I order, the sound pained and stressed. “Sit on my face and let me fuck you with my tongue.” She gasps, but I simply lie down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. “Now, Ava. I’m fucking starving.”
Finally, the bed dips on both sides of me before she starts to crawl over me. I swat at her ass when her bare, wet pussy slides up my chest, and she stops.
She sucks in a sharp breath at the sudden sting, her cheeks flushing a deep pink. “Did you just spank me?”
I rub her ass before massaging it. “I told you to sit on my face. That’s my chest.”
“Right, silly me,” she breathes.
I hum low in my throat when I finally come face to face with her swollen flesh. Her scent alone is enough to have precum seeping from my cock, but I nearly go off at the first touch of my tongue to her slit.
“Such a pretty little pussy, baby. So soft and pink,” I whisper before diving in.
She moans as I use the flat of my tongue to lap at her, groaning like a damn animal. I guess that’s exactly what I am, because I’m completely transfixed on my task, everything but Ava fading to nothing.
I groan when she starts to ride my face, her clit brushing my nose with each upstroke. She tastes like fucking heaven, and as I finally drag my tongue up through her folds and find her swollen clit, her thighs bracket my face.
“Oakley,” she cries out, her fingers curling in my hair. “Holy fuck. I’m close.”
I suck her clit into my mouth and get rewarded with another cry, this one forming my name. Her hips buck up harder than before, and I slip my tongue inside of her weeping hole, fucking her with it for a few seconds before moving back up to her clit.
Nails dig into my scalp, and pain ricochets down my neck, but it’s all an afterthought when she starts to come. I drink her pleasure, refusing to miss a fucking drop of it.
As soon as she falls from the clouds, I grip her hips and pull her down my body. Her eyes are dazed, her limbs heavy, but she knows what to do as she leans up on her knees and lines me up before sinking down, her wet heat enveloping my cock.
“Oh,” she coos, her eyes rolling back as her head falls forward. It’s a tight fit, and her breath hitches when she takes all of me.
I press my fingers into her hips and drag her forward, rubbing her clit across my pelvis. “Ride me, Ava.”
She does, and I chomp down on my bottom lips when her breasts swing forward as she sets her palms on my chest and starts to find a rhythm. Her eyes hold mine as she adjusts, suddenly tucking her feet against my sides and reaching behind her to grab my thighs. My curiosity dies when she lifts, sliding off my cock until just the head is tucked inside before falling back down.
“Fuck yes,” I grit out, forcing myself not to thrust up as she lifts again. “That’s so good, baby. So good.”
Her chest heaves as she starts to bounce in my lap, taking me like she knows just what to do with every inch. I reach up and grab her chest, squeezing the soft skin before pinching her nipples and twisting, cautiously at first. I curse when she arches into my touch and cries out when I twist again, this time harder.
“You look so beautiful like this, Ava. So needy for me.” I stop holding back and thrust the next time she starts to sink down on me. She moans as I fill her up, but it’s her slow, dirty smile that has me thrusting again, and again and again until I’m the one fucking her.
“Oakley!” she screams when I thrust so deep she goes lax in my lap. I watch with surprise as clear liquid pours from her pussy, hitting my stomach and dripping down onto the bed.
“Holy fuck,” I groan as my orgasm crashes into me, the sight of Ava squirting sending me toppling over the edge. “I’m coming, baby. You’re so perfect.”
My ears fill with white noise as I come, filling her up with it until it leaks out, mixing with the mess she made on my pelvis.
Ava collapses on top of me, and I instantly wrap my arms around her, holding her to my chest, not caring that we’re both covered in sweat and cum.
“Wow,” she whispers, shaking with a soft laugh.
I hum low in my throat and press kisses to the side of her head and over her cheeks. “Wow is right. I don’t think I’ve ever had sex like that.”
“Me neither. I kinda want to do it again.”
“Already? You’re insatiable.”
Her giggle is music to my ears. “Proudly.”
I draw circles along her spine, letting the calmness of the moment cover us in warmth. “I’m going to fix this, Ava. I promise.”
“I know you will.”
