I mumbled something incoherent into the pillow, rolling away from whoever was trying to talk to me when I was so exhausted that my eyeballs felt like they were coated in sandpaper.
″Queen Ophelia, you must wake up, it’s important.”
Affra. Affra was talking to me. And it was important.
I forced my scratchy eyelids open, coming face to face with absolutely nothing, because the other side of my bed was empty. The sheets felt disgusting with the dried evidence of what we’d been up to yesterday coating both the linen and my skin, and by the way I’d cocooned myself in the entire blanket, it didn’t look like I’d shared sleeping space with a certain bitey husband last night.
That hurt more than it probably should.
The mark on my neck tingled, and I brushed my fingers over it as I pushed myself upright.
″Sorry, I’m up, I’m up,” I assured Affra, twisting to face her and blinking some of the bleariness out of my eyes. “What is it?”
Affra reached out, pushing my tangled mass of hair away from my face and giving me a sad smile that seemed distinctly maternal. “The treaty has been broken. Representatives from the Hunters Council are here, waiting in the courtyard.”
″Does Allerick know?” I gasped, half falling out of bed, not caring that I was very much naked. Okay, maybe caring a little. I darted to the bathroom and out of Affra’s sight as quickly as I could.
″He’s already there,” Affra replied through the door as I freshened up. I paused with the cold damp washcloth pressed against my stomach, attempting to wipe some of the combination of fluids off my skin.
He’s already there?
It stung. It shouldn’t—I wasn’t a crowned queen, and I had no official role here—yet I’d never felt more like the king’s designated bed buddy than I did at that moment, standing alone in the cold bathroom, wiping his cum off me after he’d fucked me into a stupor before disappearing.
Is that how he thought of me?
My throat felt tight as I quickly washed myself down as best as I could and splashed cold water on my face, hoping it would make me look presentable, but mostly to shake me out of the funk I was in. I’d rather have taken some time to put on makeup like a coat of armor, but I made do with a swipe of lipstick to at least make me somewhat put together.
Affra handed me a stack of clothes through the door, and I pulled on my underwear and a black knee-length dress that wouldn’t look out of place at a funeral, but it did seem very Queen of Shades-y.
Even if it felt like that title wasn’t really mine. The bite mark on my neck felt as raw and tender as my emotional state, and the ache between my thighs suddenly felt somehow accusatory, like that ache between my thighs and the territorial mark was all I was. The king’s whore. An interesting plaything. Not a queen. Not a beloved wife. Just a bargaining chip who got horny for monsters.
You’re just being insecure. You’re feeling a little sensitive after an emotionally draining few days.
It’s not a big deal.
That feeling in my chest that connected me to Allerick—the bond, or whatever it was—felt stretched tight. I hadn’t really had a chance to examine how it felt or what it meant yesterday in between all the orgasms, but there was a sense of strain to it now. Did it mean something? Was I somehow picking up on Allerick’s emotions, or was it a reflection of my own stress? Maybe it was distance-related because it didn’t matter that he’d walked out on me, I was eager to get back to his side.
Ugh, you are embarrassing, I scolded internally, blinking back a sudden rush of tears before they could fall.
″Levana is here to escort you,” Affra said quietly as I emerged from the bathroom, her eyes trained on the mark on my neck, which I doubted even a turtleneck would fully cover, let alone this scoop-necked dress.
″Thank you,” I replied hurriedly, stumbling over my feet in my rush to get my shoes on. Had Damen had a chance to give her the book yet? She didn’t look particularly shocked by the bite mark.
″Queen Ophelia,” Affra called softly as my hand rested on the door handle. “Don’t rush. You are the queen. They wait for you.”
″Tell that to the king,” I sighed, pulling open the door and stepping out into the hallway. Levana inclined her head, her body rigid with tension. “What do you know?” I asked her, already heading down the hallway.
″Not much, I came here to get you. Just that three representatives from the Hunters Council arrived and claimed that the treaty had been violated last night by a Shade feeding in an unapproved area. They wouldn’t say anything else until you arrived.”
″They wouldn’t?” I asked in surprise. That was kind of nice. Like they saw me as someone whose opinion mattered.
″They want to ensure you’re hale and hearty, and not able to be imprisoned or punished for the break in the treaty before they, well, you know,” Levana finished, sounding grim.
I didn’t know, but I nodded like I did know.
″Surely one feeding in an unapproved area isn’t a big enough transgression to throw the treaty away, right?” I asked, power walking through the halls.
I felt Levana’s hesitation before she answered. “It could be.”
Shit.
Why would a Shade break the treaty? I knew there’d been some dissent about it, but it was pretty much all benefits on this end as Allerick had been trying to make clear. Their lives were on the line.
I was all but panting for breath when I reached the entrance hall, and my face was probably as red as a tomato, but I didn’t want to waste any more time screwing around.
″Queen Ophelia,” Damen said, waiting by the front door. “By the goddesses, sister, you look terrible.”
″Thanks,” I deadpanned, cutting him a glare, even though I melted a little internally at the term of endearment. I’d always wanted a brother, even though I’d always imagined one as basically Astrid but with shorter hair and greater parental approval by virtue of being born with a dick.
″You need to get out there before everyone loses their shit. Hold on. I’ll make you look more regal. Maybe cover up the bite while we’re at it, so the Hunters don’t panic.”
Before I could ask him what the hell that entailed, a thin layer of shadows descended over my sweating face. “Did you just make me a veil?”
″I’ll remove it whenever you want, but it gives you an air of mystery,” Damen replied with a satisfied nod, already pulling the door to the courtyard open.
I had to admit, I did feel more put together and mysterious as I glided down the wide front steps with my shadow veil covering up how red and out of breath I was. I vaguely recognized the three representatives from the Hunters Council, but I couldn’t recall their names. They were clearly uncomfortable as hell being in the shadow realm surrounded by Shades in their true forms, that much was obvious.
If this is how Allerick would have looked the first time I’d met him, I’d have probably been terrified too. He was practically vibrating with rage, the elaborate crown making him seem even taller and more imposing than he already was.
″There you are, Ophelia,” one of the Councilors said. “Now we can begin.”
″Queen Ophelia,” Allerick snarled, making the Hunter blanch.
″Thank you for waiting for me,” I said in my most dignified voice, coming to a halt next to my husband. Movement out of the corner of my eye caught my attention, and I glanced down to see the bottom of a… shadow cape? I frowned at Damen through the veil, only to find his gaze trained on Allerick, a smile playing around his mouth.
″They wouldn’t speak until you were here,” Allerick growled. Right. He hadn’t waited for me, hadn’t even told me what happened. As always, the things that shouldn’t have surprised or disappointed me did both.
″Last night, the treaty was violated when a Shade fed on a human in an unapproved location,” another Councilor said.
″It’s a new system, I’m sure it was an innocent mistake,” I said gently. Perhaps I was overstepping, perhaps I had no idea what I was doing, but Allerick definitely looked like he was going to escalate rather than deescalate, and that wouldn’t benefit anyone.
″Unfortunately that is very unlikely to be the case, Queen Ophelia, given that the feeding happened not twenty feet away from the Council headquarters. This was a message.”
″What time did this occur?” Allerick asked in a low voice, shadows rising off him like steam. He looked like he’d ascended from the bowels of Hades and was ready to drag everyone back there with him.
″Just past eleven pm,” the one who had been silent so far replied, his voice quivering. Judging by the wrinkled noses of the Shades around us, at least one of the Hunters was emitting some serious fear pheromones.
“Fine. We will investigate on our end who was in the human realm at that time and narrow it down from there. Whoever it was will face the harshest punishment possible. Both sides will reaffirm to their people the importance and value of the treaty, and the Shade who violated it will be made an example of.”
Allerick’s solution sounded entirely reasonable to me—well, depending on what that harsh punishment entailed—but all three Councilors shook their heads.
″The treaty is null and void,” the first one said. “As per the terms, ‘Shades will not feed in unapproved zones.’ The three-mile radius around every Hunters Council building around the world is an unapproved zone, a fact that is explicitly stated in the treaty.”
″So that’s it? You’re just going to go back to killing them because of one erroneous feeding?” I asked in disbelief.
″The terms of the treaty were clear. Our hands are tied.”
″That is a copout,” I spat. “Most of the power brokers are standing right here. If you wanted to make it work, you could.”
Damen made a noise of approval behind me, but I barely registered it. Not when Allerick turned to look at me with the most unreadable expression I’d ever seen on his face. He looked at me like he’d never even seen me before, and it was incredibly unsettling.
Where did we stand? Did he regret the bite, and that’s why he left as soon as I was asleep? Had he not bothered to tell me about the treaty being broken because he didn’t think I needed to know, or had he just not cared enough to tell me?
″I will go and see who was in the human realm at the time of the feeding. Whether or not the treaty is in place now, it was in place then, and I will not let that transgression slide,” Allerick told the Councilors coolly.
He turned to face me, that inscrutable look still on his face. “I will leave you to proceed as you see fit, Queen Ophelia.”
Proceed with what as I saw fit?
With a final scathing look at the Hunters, Allerick left, striding purposefully back towards the palace, Soren hot on his heels.
I turned to Damen, who was hovering nervously like he wasn’t sure whether to stay or go. Levana was still sticking close by, practically vibrating with tension.
″Unveil me,” I whispered to Damen, giving him a watery smile. “You should go with him.”
The veil of shadows slipped away as Damen retreated, the concern he was feeling written all over his face, leaving me alone with the three Councilors and Levana. There were other Shades nearby—members of their Council as well as guards—but all seemed to be giving us a wide berth.
The shadows around my ankles didn’t disappear, and I realized with a start that Damen must not have created them. Was the cape from Allerick?
One of the Hunters gasped as I turned back to face them, their horrified gaze trained on my neck. “What has he done to you? He has mauled you.”
″No, that’s not what happened at all—” I began, my face heating as I raised my fingers immediately to the bite.
″You weren’t supposed to come to any harm here. Even without the unauthorized feeding, the treaty is broken. Congratulations, Miss Bishop. You can come home now.”
I opened my mouth, then closed it again. Home? I was already home.
″Come, Ophelia, let’s get out of this hell hole. Your parents will be eager to see you,” another one said, no room for argument in their tone.
I highly doubted that. I looked at Levana for backup, but the hopelessness in her eyes made my stomach drop. Was this really it? Is this what Allerick had meant by ‘proceed as I saw fit’? He wanted me to leave however I liked?
There was no hatred or mistrust in her expression, but already I could see the Shade guards around the courtyard shifting uneasily, unsure whether they were meant to come to my defense or not.
As I looked around, I made eye contact with the guard positioned behind the Hunters, closest to the obsidian portal. There was no uncertainty in his eyes, no indecision. He had the same look of hatred that Meridia had when she looked at me, and his claws flexed menacingly at his sides as though he was envisioning what it would feel like to rake them clean through my flesh.
I didn’t need confirmation from Levana or anyone else that I was stinking up the courtyard with my fear. Was this what a future here in the shadow realm would look like for me now? Without the treaty’s protection, without Allerick’s protection, I was a walking target for that small but vocal group of Shades who’d never wanted the truce in the first place. A symbol of hope turned into a symbol of abject failure.
A reminder of everything that could have been but wasn’t. Even the Shades who’d come to like me would eventually resent me for that.
″The wound looks fresh,” one of the Hunters was muttering to another. “Perhaps with immediate medical attention, we could mitigate the scarring before her mother sees it.”
I should have kept the veil on, though while it had hidden what I was feeling, I didn’t want to hide.
This was me. Ophelia Bishop, failed Hunter and former Queen of Shades. Seemingly abandoned by my husband, to make my way out of his palace however I pleased because the treaty was over and he had no use for me anymore. It wasn’t much, but that was me.
The three members of the Hunters Council were standing there, staring at me expectantly, to say something, to go with them—probably with a grateful smile on my face, full of stories about how awful my time had been here.
I didn’t feel grateful.
I felt like there was an icepick pressing into my chest and yanking downwards, slicing me from heart to gut. Everything was raw and exposed and it hurt.
It hurt to think I’d been wrong. I’d naively assumed—hoped— that the feelings I’d developed for Allerick had been reciprocated, but he’d never given me any indication of that, had he? He was possessive over me, fiercely attracted to me, but that wasn’t love, and I’d been stupid to mistake one for the other.
I’d put us both in an awkward position by staying. Either he’d be forced to get rid of me later, or he’d need to expend time and energy keeping me safe from those who wished me harm because he was an honorable Shade and it was the right thing to do.
″Well, I just need to get my things I suppose,” I said hoarsely, forcing the words out of my mouth. Rip the bandaid off. It’ll hurt less if you just get it over and done with now.
″We’ll accompany you—”
″No, thank you,” I interrupted, uncomfortable with the idea of leading a delegation of Hunters into my home. My former home. “I’ll be perfectly safe. You can wait here for me, or return through the portal and I’ll follow alone.”
″Are you sure it’s safe? The treaty isn’t in place to protect you any longer.”
″Queen Ophelia will always be safe within these walls,” Levana said in a hard voice, sidling up next to me. “She is my queen, and my friend. I will keep her safe with my life.”
The vehemence in her voice combined with the undeniable aggressiveness in her posture made them reel back, and my throat tightened painfully as I held back the tears.
Now I was feeling grateful.
″Let’s go,” I told her, resting my hand on her forearm. “I’ll be quick.”
Levana stuck close to my side as we made our way back to the palace, her posture stiff and defensive. Ready to attack her own people to protect me.
Fortunately, she didn’t have to. We passed Verner and Andrus standing guard in the corridor as usual, and while they looked unsure, they didn’t make any move to stop us from passing.
The glare Levana shot them may have helped with that.
″I always knew we’d be friends someday,” I told her quietly, willing the tears not to come, knowing she’d smell them if they did. “And I’m going to miss you so much.”
″Then stay,” Levana said somberly. “Fuck the treaty. Your home is here. We don’t want you to go.”
″Allerick—”
″I’ll defend you from anyone, even your husband’s stupidity,” she muttered, making me bark out a startled laugh.
″Isn’t that like… treason, or something? Are you allowed to say that?” I asked, opening the door to my bedroom for the last time, selfishly grateful Affra wasn’t here so I didn’t have to say another painful goodbye.
″It’s probably treason,” Levana conceded. “But since you’re abandoning us, who’s going to tell? King Allerick is a fair and good ruler. It’s a shame he’s too distracted by your pretty face to realize what a fair and good ruler you’d be too.”
I snorted, though it sounded more like a hiccup with the tears I was trying to repress, and dragged my suitcase over from where it had been sitting empty against the wall, throwing it open on the bed and pulling clothes out of the drawers.
Angling myself between Levana and the dresser, I carefully pulled open the top drawer, staring down at my folder of drawings and case of supplies. I was almost tempted to leave them here—this is where they belonged, and the way I’d drawn Allerick would be agony to look at in the future. He was so unapologetically untamed, and that was the thing that had always pulled my romantic tastes in a more monstrous direction. I wanted to feel wild and untamed too. I wanted to let go of my inhibitions and fuck and fight and feast, and let my baser instincts reign instead of being polite and quiet and agreeable.
But life hadn’t worked out that way. Not in the long term.
I carefully gathered up the pictures, leaving one as a goodbye gift to my husband, and placing the rest of them with my supplies gently in the case before moving to the vanity to empty that too.
My fingers stilled over the enormous raven hair pin that Damen had given me on my first day here. It had been a gift for the queen, and perhaps I was selfish to pick it up and put it in my bag anyway, but I wanted something to keep. A memory from the best time in my life.
If only I had a wedding ring, I thought wryly. It’d be more discreet than an enormous pinned raven on the back of my head.
″Wear it,” Levana said quietly, as I tried to sneakily wrap it in my silk robe, feeling a little like I was stealing even though it had been a gift.
″What?” I asked, my voice unnaturally loud.
″You should wear the hair pin, not pack it. It’s silver.”
I gaped at Levana. “Damen gave me a weapon? That’s a bold move. What if I’d used it on his brother?”
″Well you didn’t even realize what it was, so apparently that was never a risk,” Levana pointed out drily. “I don’t know why he gave you a Shade-killing weapon, but I’m glad he did now. You’re going to be unprotected back in the human realm.”
″Shades are less dangerous to me there,” I sighed, hating the reminder that even if I did see Allerick again, it’d be a incorporeal floating version of him that couldn’t speak. I hoped he didn’t visit. It’d be like seeing a ghost.
″All the same,” Levana muttered. “Wear the pin.”
″It’s a pinned raven,” I pointed out, carefully sliding the heavy raven into one pocket of my dress and the pointed silver pin in the other, grateful for the thick fabric of the dress that mostly hid the weird lumps. “I can’t waltz back into the Hunters Council HQ wearing a pinned raven on my head.”
Levana made a grumbling sound of disagreement as I chucked the last few things into the suitcase and zipped it up, wincing at the sound. It was so loud and so unnatural in this cool stone room. So final.
I’d left all the stuff I’d taken from Astrid’s and the duffel bag I brought it in. On the off-chance the Hunters wanted to search my things, they’d have questions about when I’d acquired the other stuff since I hadn’t traveled back via their portal like I was supposed to.
Was that a violation of the treaty? Had I violated it first?
I decided to leave the duffel bag where it was—a bit of irritation from Allerick at having to dispose of it was better than putting Astrid at risk with the Hunters. Maybe one day my leggings and oversized sweaters would become relics here like the necklace Orabelle had. Weirdly, that thought gave me comfort. Like a piece of me would remain in this realm I’d come to think of as home, even after I was gone.
Levana materialized at my side before I could attempt to drag the heavy case off the bed, carefully taking the handle without snagging her claws on the fabric. I knew her well enough now to know that she’d said her piece and she wasn’t going to try to convince me to change my mind, even as the disapproval fairly radiated off her.
″Calix is going to be furious,” she said under her breath as we made our way down the corridors. I waved an awkward goodbye at Verner and Andrus, who gave me what I could have sworn was a sympathetic look in return.
″He’ll probably be relieved to have his kitchen back.”
Levana snorted. Not that she’d ever been super deferential when I was all officially the queen, but she’d absolutely dropped the facade now. “Absolutely not. He likes almost no one and respects even fewer. But he likes and respects you, and he’d been telling everyone who’d listen how good you were going to be for the shadow realm.”
Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.
″And don’t even get me started on Orabelle. The king may need to avoid his mother for the foreseeable future—”
We turned a corner and both stopped suddenly at the sight that awaited us in the entry hall.
Shades.
The palace staff lined the walls, standing in silence with their heads bowed. Bowed in respect. For me. This time, I couldn’t push back the tears that sprung forward, running silently down my cheeks as I forced myself to put one foot in front of the other.
Levana’s steps dragged at my side like she wanted to prolong this moment, probably hoping that the silent support of so many would change my mind. I wasn’t a crowned queen though, and without a treaty in place to force Allerick to be tied to me, this had only been a matter of time anyway. I’d rather leave with some of my dignity intact than be forced to sit through a politely uncomfortable talk with my husband about how he didn’t want me anymore.
The shame would kill me.
He’d told me that even if he hadn’t been attracted to me, he would have respected our marriage to make the treaty work. There was no treaty now. He’d never said anything about respecting our marriage without that incentive.
The three Councilors relaxed slightly as I reappeared in the courtyard, awkwardly looking away when they spotted my tears.
″Queen Ophelia,” a soft voice said from behind me. I scrunched my eyes shut, knowing I would see the pain in her eyes if I turned around and not wanting to. Not wanting to say goodbye to the Shade who’d been like a grandmother to me from the moment I arrived.
″Affra,” I sobbed, turning to face her. “I’m so sorry.”
″For running away without saying goodbye? You should be, my dear. But that’s not what I wanted to tell you. I translated part of the book.” My breath hitched. “You belong here. This was once a world of light and color, but the Hunters—the Hunted—left and took it with them. You are one of them. You are claimed. You belong here with your mate.”
That certainly sounded like me—I’d always wanted to be hunted. I’d relished the feel of Allerick’s possessive gaze on me, stalking me through the garden, his teeth sinking into my throat…
″It doesn’t matter, it’s too late for that now,” I whispered for Affra’s ears only. “There’s no treaty between our kinds now, and… and he doesn’t want me. Not the way I want him.”
Not the way I loved him.
Affra reached out, carefully keeping her claws free as she swiped a stray tear off my cheek. “I disagree, but I’m sure we’ll see which one of us is right soon enough. A Shade broke this treaty on purpose. Make sure you wear that hair pin, my queen.”
I gave her a watery smile, reaching up to give her a wrist a quick squeeze before turning away and heading for the portal, snagging my suitcase from a frowning Levana on the way. She nodded gravely, and I nodded back, recognizing that she wasn’t a hugger and especially not with so many guards watching on.
The tears wouldn’t stop coming, but I held my head high, refusing to be cowed. The time I’d spent here was the best of my life. I’d felt a sense of belonging, of friendship, of home for the first time in my life. I’d fallen in love. I’d also had my heart ripped clean out of my chest, and while I wished I hadn’t, at least I felt something because I knew that a life in the human realm would be an endless horizon of nothingness.
Goodbye, King Allerick.
