Gregory stared at his aether flame, ignoring the sparks slowly drifting away from it. He could almost feel a connection to it, but something just wasn’t slotting into place. Time slipped by as he kept reaching for the connection.
What am I missing? Gregory asked himself. There has to be something I’m missing…
As he continued to stare at the flames, Dia’s voice drifted to him, It’s about knowing your strengths, weaknesses, desires, and fears. The flames shifted, and Gregory’s throat closed as he watched the fire take shape.
A body lying among some trees— a ripped, shredded, and bloody ruin. Strawberry-blonde hair was soaked in blood as sightless eyes stared into nothing.
Gregory’s heart sped up as he looked at his mother’s body. “N-no…” The word was a whisper as he stared at the flames given life.
The body shifted and changed as he watched. He felt his heart slow as his mother faded away. It stopped entirely when he recognized the new body that lay there.
Pale hair, turned red by blood. Cyan eyes, staring into nothing. Kimono, shredded and barely covering her. Deep, bloody wounds crisscrossing her body. Beside her, another body— smaller, but more firm, and just as dead, lifeless, and mangled.
“NO!” Gregory roared, surging to his feet and reaching for Yukiko and Jenn.
The bodies became flames that leapt at him, coating his arms and legs, burning, searing, and seeping into him.
Panting, Gregory went to one knee. “Fear… yes, that is what I fear. Every other fear is mild compared to that.”
The burns he felt faded, and he slumped to the ground. He continued to stare at the flames. “It’s not them dying like she did… just them being taken from me,” he told the cavern.
The flames shifted again, and Gregory inhaled slowly as he waited for the next horror. All that happened this time was that the flames became him, as he was on his age day. He was thin, painfully thin; tall; gawky; and weak.
“We’re nothing,” his double said in a feeble voice. “We’ll never be anything. How can anyone think we’d be worth anything at all? Slow, stupid, weak… even our own father hates us.”
All the insecurities he felt rose up inside him. How could Yukiko ever love him? Or Jenn? Why would Bishop or Dia ever accept him as Aether reborn? The novices were just cajoling him about wanting to join the clan while they laughed behind his back.
“No…” Gregory said, gritting his teeth. “I am good enough. I am loved and wanted. My friends believe in me and trust me!”
His double exploded into flame and engulfed his head. Gregory’s eyes boiled into blindness, his ears turning to ash. His tongue became a blackened stump as the flame cut off his scream, searing his throat as it rushed into him.
Falling back, Gregory panted as his throat healed. Sound came back to him next, the pop and crackle of the flame soothing him. Blinking tears away, he looked up at the ceiling of the cavern.
“Yeah, I’m insecure, but I’m getting better…” Gregory muttered. “It’s a work in progress. All of life is.”
“We never stay down, do we?”
Gregory jerked upright to find another copy of himself, but this one was vastly different. This one had short hair cut close to the scalp, scars on his hands and face, and lines near his eyes, belying age.
“No.”
“We never back down, either,” his older self said. “We just want to show the world that they’re wrong— wrong for mocking our dream, wrong for hurting our wives, and wrong for being so close-minded.”
“It needs to change,” Gregory said. “The whole world needs to accept that everyone is worth just as much as the next person. That any dream is worth supporting.”
“Stubborn, but are you stubborn enough to force the world to bend to your ideals?” The older Gregory’s haunted, green eyes locked on his.
“Yes. I will force the world to bend to my will.”
Snorting, the older copy stood up. “Best of luck, kid. You damned well better be prepared for pain; physical, mental, and emotional.”
“I—”
The copy stepped forward, grabbing him, pulling him into the air, and hugging him. The flames burned hot, and Gregory could feel his skin melt away, then his abdominal muscles turn to jelly under the heat.
Shivering on the ground, naked and dying, Gregory stared at the ceiling again. Stubborn? Yeah, that’s probably my greatest strength, he thought. Too stupid to know when to quit, as Gunnar used to say.
“Dear one, aren’t you going to join us?” Yukiko’s voice came to him.
Sitting up, Gregory found himself not in the cavern, but in the opulent bedroom he knew well from his time with Darkness. Jenn and Yukiko lay entwined, naked, and watching him a few feet away. The far corner was shrouded in shadow, and a low moan came from it when he glanced that way.
“Desires?” Gregory asked, puzzled.
“Will you admit to them?” Came a voice from behind him.
Looking over his shoulder, Gregory’s breath caught in his throat.
Daciana, Nessa, Victoria, Ling, Clover, Mindie, and more faceless women stretched into the distance of the room. All of them were almost completely naked, wearing just enough clothing to preserve what little modesty they could while showing off so much skin.
“There’s nothing wrong with wanting more, dear one,” Yukiko’s voice was throaty as she breathed against his neck. “Just be honest with yourself.”
“We agreed that we could look,” Jenn added, her hand resting on his naked thigh. “If you asked, we might even let you touch.”
All the women edged forward a step at Jenn’s words, hope written across their features. Gregory swallowed as he pictured each of those hopeful women in bed with him and his wives.
“Why one at a time, dear one?” Yukiko asked breathily.
“If you just tell us what you desire, who knows what might be?” Jenn added throatily.
Gregory swallowed as each of the women reached to remove the clothing that kept their modesty intact. As their clothes fell, they vanished, and Gregory felt his flame deep inside his core roar to heights he’d never thought it could reach. The room vanished as he groaned and huddled into a ball, his very core feeling like it was going to explode.
When the pain subsided, Gregory felt a strange peace wash over him. Breathing slowly and deeply, he finally pushed himself upright and looked back at the flame. It burned as it always did, but as he watched, a faint blue haze seeped out of it.
Blinking slowly, Gregory found himself in the rock garden of the clan hall. With each slow breath, he could almost feel the air around him. For a second, he could see the same faint blue haze from his aether flame spread into the air around him.
Yukiko blinked and a smile appeared on her face. She found him watching her, and her smile grew. “Dear one, I found it.”
“It wasn’t pleasant,” Gregory said softly.
Yukiko’s smile vanished. “It wasn’t.”
“It was horrible…” Jenn said softly. “But I can feel it now.”
“It doesn’t seem to go far,” Yukiko said as she closed her eyes and felt around her with her spirit.
“It will grow with time,” Dia said, causing them all to jump slightly. “Congratulations, Apprentices. Few ever find their resonance before becoming an adept, and even fewer before being an initiate.”
“It was your words that made it possible,” Gregory said.
“I’m happy to have helped,” Dia said. “It’s time for your training. Are you ready?”
“Yes,” Yukiko said, standing up. “A question, though, Dia? The growth of resonance— how and how fast?”
“By continuing to walk the spirit path. As long as you stay true to yourself, it will be fine. As for how fast? Well, that all depends on how fast you grow. Resonance is tied to your aether. The stronger it becomes, the farther it will go. You need to feel for it right now. You have to think about it, but, in time, it will become second nature. As effortless as breathing.”
“Thank you, Dia,” Gregory said, standing up and bowing to her.
“Thank you, Dia,” Yukiko and Jenn added, bowing as well.
“You’re very welcome,” Dia smiled.
~*~*~
The three of them were tired when they entered their bedroom. They’d been awake for more than forty hours at that point, and they were starting to feel it.
“Are you two okay?” Gregory asked when he shut the door behind them.
“Tired, physically and mentally,” Yukiko said as she went to the bed and sat on the edge. “I had no idea that it would be so difficult.”
Jenn sat beside Yukiko, clearly also thinking about what had happened earlier in the day. “I don’t think any of us really knew what was going to happen.”
“I didn’t,” Gregory said. “I felt it there, just out of reach, and then I heard Dia’s voice telling me about resonance. Then, my fears manifested.”
“It was your voice for me,” Yukiko said softly. “It was also my fear, first.”
“Same for me… your voice and my fears,” Jenn said, wringing her hands briefly. “I will be strong for us. I won’t fail in keeping our heart safe,” she said, her voice wavering as she spoke.
Yukiko touched Jenn’s hands, stilling them. “I know, just like I know Greg won’t toss me aside for you or others.”
Jenn looked up, meeting Yukiko’s eyes. “I’d never let him do that to you.”
“Losing you, either of you, or anyone else I care for,” Gregory said, his voice thick, “that’s my fear. It started with seeing my mother’s body again… mangled, bloody, torn, and savaged, just like she was when I saw her last. Then, it was you, Yuki, not my mother who lay there dead, and then Jenn appeared beside you, just as lifeless.”
“That helps ease my fears, dear one,” Yukiko said with a sniffle. She patted the bed. “Please?”
Gregory went to sit beside her, but Jenn shifted and opened a spot between them, so he sat there instead. “Fear gave way to weakness. Mine is insecurity. I hadn’t expected it, but looking back, it makes sense… Doubting that I’ll ever be what people expect or want.”
“Mine is my slight body,” Jenn said. “Without my aether, I’m no match for the people we’ll have to face.”
“My heritage is mine,” Yukiko added. “Neither of you cares, but most of the world will, and it might cause problems for us.”
“You are beautiful, wonderful, and special,” Gregory said, his arm going around her. “I wouldn’t change a single thing about you.”
“I know,” Yukiko murmured, leaning into his side, “but it still is my weakness, as I see it.”
“Strength,” Jenn said after a few seconds. “Mine is my willingness to endure anything for you. It doesn’t matter what, if it’ll help you.”
“Mine is the ability to balance gain against cost,” Yukiko said. “Not just money, but nearly anything. I balanced the cost of losing part of your affection against the benefit of Jenn joining us. The scale weighed heavily in Jenn’s favor.” She gave their wife a soft smile.
“I’ll never be able to thank you enough for that, Yuki.”
“Stubbornness,” Gregory said. “Refusing to give in. Being stubborn or stupid enough to even go as far as making the world change.”
“If you need to change the world, dear one, we will help you.”
“Yes,” Jenn agreed.
“I know. The more I think about it, the more I find myself wanting to do just that. It’ll be a long journey, but with you both beside me, I think we can do it in time.”
“The clan will be behind us, too,” Yukiko said softly, “and it’ll be growing in the future.”
The mention of the clan growing brought the novices to mind, and Gregory’s face heated as he thought of the last part of resonance. He shifted slightly, and both of his wives looked at him.
“Oh… desires,” Yukiko whispered. “Yes…” She bit her bottom lip unsure if she should mention them.
Jenn coughed and looked down, clearly uncertain herself.
“I…” Gregory started before he trailed off, unsure of how to approach it. “Maybe we should turn in for the night?”
Both Jenn and Yukiko sat there for a few seconds before they nodded, neither ready to explain their desires, either.
As they started to undress, Gregory shook his head slightly. How could I ever want more when I have them? It’s not as if the others would ever want me to look at them in those ways anyway…
