She asked me out on a date. I think. Right? In front of Tom. For real, I thought I was going to chunder when England said one room, one bed, but then she asked me on a date?
Spent the afternoon planning it with Henry, who was pretty long suffering about it all.
“—Ready for this saga to end,” was his reasoning for his level of personal investment but actually I reckon he just loves us. Loves me, loves her—loved us together like the rest of my family. I’m less fucked up when I’m with her. More grounded. Weird, I know because she is the least grounded person in the entire fucking Commonwealth, but she just does something to me—I don’t know what.
We head downstairs to the restaurant, the fine dining one—rather go out for a bite, if I’m honest but Parks loves a hotel restaurant, and she’s a very domineering holiday presence.
Self-appointed Activity Captain, self-appointed Cuisine Captain (her words, not mine) and just in general, High Lord Empress of Holidays (my words, not hers).
She’s already down there with Tom when Hen and I arrive. Circular table. I sit on her other side, do my best not to stare at her stomach in that Dolce & Gabbana bra top she’s wearing that I bought for just my eyes to see. The rest of the party dribbles in, Lorcs being the last one seated because he’s forever fucking late to everything but especially late to things he wants to make an entrance for—like Gus Waterhouse, for one. Who’s sick, by the way. We listen to his stories all night. They’re funny and ridiculous and he loves what he does, and Parks’ dad is insane in all of them, and I still want to kill him for what happened the other day, but the stories about him are funny as shit.
“Can’t believe it about your dad, Parks.” Gus says eventually.
“Really?” She blinks. “You can’t believe it?” She gives him a look. “That one time you and I got lunch and he stayed in the studio for a ‘meeting’ and when we came back there was a very terrible actress leaving the building with lipstick all smudged?”
“No,” he shakes his head. “That I can believe but I can’t believe he was overt enough to get caught, in public, with your nanny—”
I sway my head, weighing up what he said. “Caught? Tipped off by vengeful daughter? Hard to tell.”
She gives me a look.
Tom looks at Parks. “Why do you have a nanny?”
She glances at him, confused. “Hm?”
He shrugs. “You’re just… you’re twenty-three.”
Fair play, Tom. Absolutely valid question. Wondered it a million times over the years myself. Why the fuck did Parks need a nanny when we were at boarding school majority of the time? Why did Parks need a nanny when she’d finished secondary and Bridget was away at boarding school? Why did Parks need a nanny when the nanny never cooked or cleaned or performed any household task…that we knew of. In retrospect, it could be concluded that actually a fair few tasks were… performed but their household value might be up for debate at this point.
“I mean—I’m twenty-two,” she corrects him, and I feel relieved for a second because he can’t like her that much if he doesn’t even know how old she is. “But yes, it’s a solid question, Tommy. Why do I have a nanny?”
“Well—I mean, I think we know the answer to that now.” Henry pulls a face. “And it’s convoluted, at best.”
“Oh, come off it.” Perry rolls his eyes. “She looks like Kate Winslet. It’s hardly shocking—I mean, the woman can’t dress for shit, but she was locked away in Jonah’s spank bank for years.”
Parks’ jaw hits the floor, and Jonah would be so glad he’s not here because what Lorcs just said is completely true, and Jo’d die over it now.
Paili folds her arms over her chest and leans in. “Do you remember about a year ago, we were at an event—something for your mum, and we nicked off to the bathroom, and Marsaili walked out of the disabled room all flushed—”
“Oh my god!” Parks recoils.
She continues, “And you said, ‘She looks like she just had an orgasm,’ and your mum was flitting around asking where your dad was. I bet they were shagging in the loo.”
I choke back a laugh.
Henry tosses me a look. “Like you’re one to talk, man—you’ve had so many orgasms in disabled toilets.”
“Oy,” I jeer. “Not just disabled toilets—all toilets, I don’t discriminate.” Tom chuckles and I try to catch Parks’ eye, make sure that one didn’t sting her too much but she won’t let me find it.
Perry holds up his wine glass. “Never have I ever had an orgasm in public.” And then every boy at the table drinks. Me, Tom, Henry, Christian, Lorcs and Gus.
Christian laughs and nods his chin at me. “You better drink that whole glass, mate.”
I ignore him, try to win Parks back.
“And you,” Christian says, eyeing Parks down from the other side of the table, “you should have had a sip.”
She blinks, pulls back her head in surprise. “I beg your pardon?”
The back of my neck goes hot. Tom stiffens up too.
“We all know you had an orgasm once in public,” he tells the table, and I frown at him.
Do we all know?
“You all know?” she repeats, looking at him eyes wide.
Christian nods. “Yep.”
“Shut up,” Paili whispers to him, softly.
“Well, I didn’t.” Her nose is in the air, so she did.
He shrugs, indifferent. “—Except that you did.”
“I’d never—” Her cheeks are flushing. “That’s so improper.”
“Yeah,” he scoffs. “You were real focused on societal proprieties at the time.” He gives her a look and I can tell he’s a bit drunk. He likes to antagonise her a bit when he’s drunk. Never really goes well for him.
He doesn’t look away from her.
“The speakeasy in Paris. You and him”—Christian nods his chin at me, and I could fucking deck him for it. “Back corner. His hand. Under a table.”
Fuck. He’s not wrong, that did happen. Pretty unlike her to even let me, too. It was a very good night.
I feel Parks tense up next to me—hope it’s just me that notices it because it’s me and her and we notice shit like that with each other.
“Christian,” Paili tries to diffuse the mounting tension, and rolls her eyes dismissively. “How would you even know?”
And then he says this looking square into Magnolia’s eyes: “Because I know what she looks like when she’s having an orgasm.”
Henry gapes at him. “What the fuck, man?”
I shake my head, mouth tight. “Hate that—”
Tom’s staring down at the table. “Can’t say I’m a fan either—”
Paili can’t believe it, Perry’s eyes are about to fall out of his head, Gus is watching on in curious fascination. I should hit Christian for it, probably. I know I should. If it were anyone else I would. But I feel shitty at her too. Not her fault, I know. But then again, she’s the one who went and had an orgasm with my best mate, so.
Magnolia’s frozen, staring at the table, and it’s this fucking weird tension between me never wanting her to feel how Christian’s made her feel just now, all exposed and embarrassed and shit, but also, I never want to remember what happened with her and him and when they make me, the house rules seem to fly out the fucking window, and it probably makes me a piece of shit, but I don’t feel like defending her in the moment.
I push back from the table. “I’m going to grab a drink—”
Tom eyes down Christian. “Yeah, I’ll come with you.”
England and I get to the bar. I blow air out of my mouth. Order two shots of Casamigos Repasado, slide one over to him. Throw it back silently.
Tom stares at me for a few seconds. “What the fuck was that?”
I glance back over my shoulder, and don’t meet Magnolia’s eyes as they watch both me and England, nervous. “They dated.”
Tom pulls back in surprise. “Right. When?”
I tilt my head, thinking. “Not long after we broke up.”
“Wow.” He blinks a lot.
“Yeah.” I stare over at Christian, grinding my jaw. “Wow.”
A few minutes pass before Parks walks over to us gingerly.
Tom gives her a weak smile. “You okay?”
And fuck him for being a better guy than me, asking her that. I should have asked her that, but I’m still fucking pissed at her for all of it. And anyway, he doesn’t love her like I do.
She nods and it’s unconvincing at best.
“Want me to hit him?” I offer, wanting to be as good a guy as Tom.
She sniffs a laugh. “Yes.” But then frowns at me. “No. That was a joke—please don’t.”
I give her a look. “He’d deserve it.”
She shrugs. “He’s just drunk. You know how he gets.”
“What?” scoffs Tom. “Bitter and belligerent?”
“Arseholey,” Magnolia offers.
Parks looks knackered and I nod my chin at her. “You should go to bed. Big day tomorrow…”
“Yeah?” She smiles up at me.
I nod once. I glance at Tom, trying not to cringe. “Thanks for letting me borrow your girlfriend for the day.”
He sniffs a laugh and he swallows. “Course, man—just make sure you bring her back in one piece.”
Then he hooks his arm around her neck how I do and pulls her away to their room. She looks back at me. I give her a small wink.
She looks a different kind of tired now, but she smiles at me anyway.
23:54
Christian
Why did you say that?
Because it’s true, Magnolia.
Which part?
All of it.
You did and I do.
Are you trying to hurt me?
Nope.
Are you trying to hurt him?
Which him, Parks?
Wow.
Are you and Daisy having a row?
Fuck you
Oh that’s so funny—
