Now
I might have slept or simply lost my grip on consciousness. When I woke, I jerked upright before remembering where I was. My wrists cut deeply into the new metal cuffs Silvio and his goons had put on me after they’d finished beating me. The chain was marginally longer, so at least my shoulders weren’t pulled as tight.
The pain in my head was unbelievable, and I might have had a few loose teeth; it was hard to tell with my swollen tongue.
A noise came from the hall. So, that was what had woken me. I missed the oblivion immediately. Unless… There was a tentative quality to the expectant air as I waited to see who would take a chunk out of me next. I blinked toward the dark doorway. My eyes had adjusted so well to the dark that the faint light from the sconces on the stone walls in the hall stung for a moment, and I couldn’t see. As my eyes adjusted, awareness prickled through me as I made out the diminutive figure. A silhouette I’d recognize in my sleep.
I swallowed the knot that formed in my throat.
Sofia.
The only one who could inflict wounds that wouldn’t heal.
Without her help we never would have found you. We weren’t even near the right place.
Antonio’s words played in my memory. My clever little prom queen. I was proud of her initiative.
She hesitated in the doorway, and I summoned my customary smirk for her, despite the aches and pains from Silvio’s beating. “Couldn’t stay away, lastochka? It’s okay. Don’t be embarrassed. I’ve missed you, too.”
She snorted softly, a perfectly elegant sound coming from her. Everything Sofia De Sanctis did was beautiful. The woman wasn’t of this world, and just the sight of her eased something in me. If I was going to die down here, something I doubted as it would be an affront to the Chernov bratva, at least I’d have looked upon true beauty once more before going.
“Good to know you’re taking this seriously,” Sofia muttered, coming into the room.
I watched her like a wolf watches the rabbit it wants to devour. She came toward me, a tray in her hands. My stomach growled at the smell of food, and I wondered how long I’d been down here. She crouched in front of me, bending her slender body in half, her dark-eyed gaze sliding over me. A pinch appeared between her brows, and something that looked like worry flickered in her gaze. She set the tray down and pressed a hand against her mouth.
“That bad?” My dry chuckle sent her shoulders down from under her ears. My girl was so tense. “Taking it seriously or not, it won’t change anything,” I told her, letting my eyes linger on her fine features. “Besides, your father can’t kill me. That wasn’t the deal. One day, I’ll be free, and every single De Sanctis who wronged me will pay for it.”
Why exactly I felt the need to comfort her when I was the one beaten and bound escaped me. I’d long since stopped trying to make sense of my fucked-up head.
Sofia studied me. “And I suppose that includes me, too?”
“I don’t know. Does it?”
She swallowed and dropped her eyes.
“It’s okay, prom queen. I know you helped them find me. I’d expect nothing less. Don’t worry, your punishment won’t be like theirs.”
She raised an eyebrow at me. “It won’t?”
“Theirs isn’t personal.”
That statement widened her eyes for a moment. She was good at looking composed. I’d give her that. She couldn’t hide the vein pounding in her neck, however. Her face was a sucker punch to the gut. I wanted to stare at her all day long.
She swallowed, and I wished I could hold her throat in my hand and feel the vital movement against my skin. I wished I could feel her pounding pulse point and know if she was as excited as I was to be in same room. Instead, I simply drank in the sight of her.
She shifted, casting a glance over her shoulder. Her bodyguard stood outside the door, watching us.
“What is it they say about revenge? La miglior vendetta ‘e il perdono.”
Sofia’s voice speaking Italian was a thing of beauty. I raised an eyebrow and waited for her to translate.
She swallowed. “The best revenge is to forgive.”
“Do you want my forgiveness, Sofia, as I lie here bleeding?”
She bit her lip, and I watched, helpless to touch her when it was all I wanted.
She opened her mouth to speak, and I thought for one heartbreaking moment she might let down her walls and be honest. She might say she regretted it, and everything I’d endure in this basement would be worth it.
A slight sound from the hall sent her mouth snapping shut, and her shoulders rose under her ears. She seemed to steady herself, and any trace of vulnerability on her face melted away.
She pursed her lips, her eyes hardening. “You should have let me go,” she whispered. “At the motel. It was obvious that you should have left me behind.”
The memory of her sprinting up the stairs and barreling straight over the rusted railing was already a permanent fixture of my nightmares.
“Then you’d be the one lying bleeding,” I pointed out, anger tinting me at the very thought.
She raised her chin with all the majesty of a queen. “Yes, I would be. If you cared about escaping, you shouldn’t have cared about that. I’m not yours to worry about, Nikolai.”
Despite the kicks I’d taken in the last few hours, that one hurt.
She was watching me, waiting for my reaction, so I gave her a shrug.
“Are you asking me or telling me?”
“Nothing can happen between us. Nothing real,” she whispered.
She thought she could erase everything that had happened between us? She actually thought I’d let her? Something had shifted in the dark between us, and I would never allow it to be forgotten.
“Correction: every single thing that has ever happened between us was real. I bet they’ve been the most real moments of your overprotected life.” It was always a gamble to reach under Sofia’s good-girl act and let her know how I saw her. I understood her in a way that I was sure no one else could.
Her eyes shot to mine, and I knew I had spoken a truth she couldn’t deny. Then the vulnerability left her eyes, and she tensed as her gaze lingered near the doorway. I wondered what was making her so nervous in her own house.
“I’m not here to chat. I’m here to make sure you don’t starve to death,” she muttered, gripping the tray of food as if it were a life preserver in a stormy sea.
“Come closer, I don’t bite—much,” I goaded her.
The urge to tempt her closer and get hold of her had overtaken my mind, driving out all other thoughts. If only I could pull her close. That mask she was wearing would drop, and she’d let me see her again. The real her. Maybe I’d be lucky enough to catch a hint of her perfume. The ugly smell of captivity and old rot was giving me a headache. One inhale of Sofia’s feminine perfume, her soft skin and sweet-scented hair, would give me the strength to carry on.
With her teeth sinking into her lower lip, she complied. Despite my less-than-ideal state, the sight of Sofia following my orders still stirred my cock. No amount of pain in my bones could lessen my desire for this woman.
She kneeled beside the tray she’d set down, glancing nervously over her shoulder.
“You still can’t reach there, prom queen.”
She sighed and inched forward.
“Will Angelo tattle to your father if you’re seen being kind to the bratva scum?” I wanted to know who the bad guy in Sofia’s life was, apart from me, of course. What could I say? I got jealous like that.
“No, he wouldn’t. He’s on my side,” she muttered, that haunted, pinched look in her eyes still not shifting. “My father told me to come and feed you. I think it’s his form of further torture.”
“He’s good. Seeing you so close, but out of reach, is torture,” I murmured to her as she got closer still.
She looked down at the tray, spearing pieces of cold pasta with the fork.
“Or maybe it’s because he told me how you tipped him off to find us.”
She paused, and that beautiful pulse thumped hard under the soft skin of her throat. Her eyes finally met mine, as rich as melted chocolate. They were shining. It was a shock to the system. She was nearly in tears.
“So, do you finally hate me?” she asked, blinking her long dark lashes until they became spiky and wet from her unshed tears.
“Hate you? I’ll never hate you. It’s impossible. I know who I am to you… and I know you’re too smart to forget that. Smart, cunning, and strong. And under it all… kind. You fascinate me. In case you haven’t realized, I’m the villain. I deserve to be caught. Don’t forget that.”
She was stunned by the confession for a moment, and those tears grew brighter. One dodged her attempt to blink it away and dipped down her cheek. She wiped it away, and I wished it was my hand swiping her cheek.
“You’re crazy, you know that? So, you’re saying you forgive me?”
“I will always forgive you, Sofia. I’ll always understand you. Like I said, we aren’t like other people. No one gets you like I do. Fight it all you want, but we both know the truth. You’re mine, even inside your own head.”
She let out a half-laugh and offered the fork loaded with pasta to my lips. “I’m glad to see my father’s captivity hasn’t dulled your confidence.”
I chewed slowly, my teeth tender on the right side. I hid my wince from her. I didn’t want her to feel guiltier than she already did. “Just call me a cockeyed optimist.”
She smiled. It was a small thing, but precious. Next, she lifted a bottle of water to my lips. “It’s not drugged,” she blurted. “In case you’re wondering.”
“Well, I wasn’t before,” I muttered. Instead of drinking, I pressed my face against her hand. The shock of her warm skin was heaven.
She jerked as if I’d grabbed her. The electricity leaped between us. It was always there, simmering under the surface, and when we touched, it ignited. The days of her being able to deny that were swiftly passing.
I rubbed my cheek against her wrist. “If you want to comfort me, touch me.”
“I can’t. I don’t know who is watching.”
I glanced over her shoulder at her bodyguard. He was staring impassively at the wall in front of him, giving her privacy.
“No, not Angelo,” she added.
“Your father? Who are you afraid of? Is it Silvio?”
Her breath caught. Bingo.
Frustration filled me. She was a prisoner in this creepy fucking mansion with the man who had been trying to touch her since she was seventeen. A man other than me. If there was any reason to bust out of these restraints and take the fucker down, it was the danger of what he could do to Sofia.
Anger stroked along my nerves. “When I get out of here, he’s finished. Protect yourself in the meantime. You know how. You’re stronger than you realize.”
Sofia fed me more pasta, and the gnawing pain in my empty belly finally shifted. The food gave me the strength to heal faster, and then I could better withstand Silvio’s revenge. I didn’t think Antonio could keep me long, thanks to his ongoing business with Kirill.
“Why is the only person in my life who believes in me the craziest one?” she muttered after a long moment. She looked at the blood spattered down my chest and winced. “You’re a mess, and you only just arrived. You probably shouldn’t have killed so many men on your way out.”
“Yeah, you’re right, but hindsight is twenty-twenty,” I teased her.
Her lips quirked, and it felt like a reward. “I feel obligated to tell you that Gino is alive and well and soaking up the accolades of trying to stop you single-handedly.”
I grinned. “Of course he is.”
She narrowed her eyes at me. “You’re telling me you knew he survived?”
“I’m telling you that when I shoot to kill, I don’t miss.” My smile tugged at my painful jaw, and I muttered a curse as it cracked softly.
“Does it hurt?”
“It’s just a tickle. Don’t worry about me. I can take it,” I told her.
“I’m not worried,” she protested quietly, but the look in her eyes betrayed her soft heart. Even after everything she’d been through, living in this house of horrors, she was still so kind, even to me, the villain in her story.
“I guess you regret saving me now, right? You could have let me fall.” There it was, her guilt and worry all rolled into one loaded question.
“No, I couldn’t have, and we both know it, whether you want to admit it or not.”
“Meaning?”
I leaned forward, bringing my face as close to hers as possible, given the reach of my bound arms. “Meaning, Sofia De Sanctis, I will never let you fall, no matter the cost.”
She stared at me, holding her breath as if even the sound of an inhale would break the spell between us.
“Why?” she whispered.
“Because you’re mine, and you always have been.”
I slept fitfully. The food in my belly was like a dead weight. My head was blurry, and my brain was unable to focus. Despite all of that, when someone touched me, I reacted. Exploding forward, I kicked my legs out and hit my attacker’s shins, taking them down quickly. Shifting my body, I wrapped my legs around the fallen man’s neck.
I squeezed hard and blinked through the darkness at the man I’d trapped. “Angelo?” It took me a moment to remember Sofia’s bodyguard’s name.
The large guy grunted and tapped my leg. “Let me up. I’m not here to hurt you,” he said in a strained voice.
“You mean you’re not here to try,” I ground out, and debated the wisdom of letting him go. I couldn’t hold him like this forever, so it seemed hearing him out was the better option. If he wasn’t here to hurt me, did that mean Sofia had sent him for another reason? The hope that sprouted in my chest was a virulent weed, pushing through dried-up, blackened cracks. “Did she send you?”
Angelo shook his head. “Your brother. I’m here because of Kirill.”
That made even less sense. “Kirill?” I repeated, and released Angelo from my legs.
He rolled away, coughing. “Shit, man. That hurt.”
A bitter chuckle left me. “Forgive me if I don’t give a fuck, considering.”
Angelo’s gaze traced over my damaged face, and he flinched. That couldn’t be good.
“What does my brother want? Here to see if they finished me for him?”
Angelo shook his head, peering over his shoulder. “The opposite. He wants you out of here.”
“Why would he send you? Who are you?”
Angelo swallowed. “A man who needs to leave the De Sanctis family soon.”
“Why?”
“Why does it matter?” Angelo countered.
“I don’t trust rats or traitors. I’ll pass on the help, thanks,” I told him flatly.
He crouched near me, looking worried. “You can’t pass. I need this. Your brother said he’d pay me enough to disappear and start a new life somewhere else. Me and someone else.”
His last words caught my interest. “You aren’t trying to make a quick buck off my brother? Who are you doing it for? A kid? A woman?”
Angelo swallowed and nodded shallowly. I considered his words, but I could taste the truth in them. It was one of my less violent talents, being able to sniff out the truth.
“Let me guess, Sofia’s little jailbait friend, the one she went to school with? She’s off-limits to a guy like you?”
Before I’d been sent away to Russia, only a month after I’d first met Sofia, I’d watched her closely. I’d seen her bodyguard’s growing interest in her little sidekick. The rebellious one. Before I could push myself further into Sofia’s life, I’d been sent to Russia by Viktor, and a couple of months after that, I’d started my first prison stay in a prison outside of Moscow. I’d lost four years to that hellhole. It certainly put places like this basement room in New Jersey into perspective.
Angelo nodded. Sharing that little tidbit of vulnerability won me over enough to hear him out.
“Fine, what’s Kirill’s grand plan? I don’t see Antonio or his nephew letting me walk out of here anytime soon.”
Angelo looked around, reached into his pocket, and pulled out a handcuff key. “No, not yet. I need to work out the best time to remove you. I just wanted to make contact and let you know your brother is working on it. He’s thinking of you.”
“Aw, Angelo, how sweet. Maybe you can write for daytime TV specials when you run from the De Sanctis family.”
He grunted and rubbed his neck. “Well, it’s not just warm words. I can take the cuffs off you for a bit if you want.”
“Sure thing, big guy.” I wanted to test out his naivety and desperation.
Angelo undid the cuffs, and I let out a sigh that I felt down to my bones as I stretched my arms. My wrists were a mess, with deep cuts, bruises, plenty of blood, and signs of infection.
“That’s going to leave a mark,” Angelo muttered, staring at my wrists as well.
The dry chuckle felt good in my chest. “You think? Things that hurt should leave a mark so you always remember.”
Angelo swallowed, suddenly looking wary that he’d let me free. “Remember what?”
“Who to kill,” I said flatly. I studied him. “I know what you’re thinking. Now that you’ve freed me, what’s stopping me from taking your gun, shooting you here, and escaping on my own?”
Angelo paled in the dim light from the corridor.
I laughed, slapping a blazingly painful hand on his shoulder and giving him a shake. “Don’t worry, big guy. I’m fucking with you. I’d rather not get shot on my way out. I don’t mind waiting for a few days. I would like to know where exactly in this godforsaken place Sofia’s room is.”
Angelo’s face blanched.
I chuckled at his clear panic. “Come on, Angelo, surely you could have predicted I’d want to know that.”
“Sofia isn’t a bad person,” he started slowly.
“I never said she was, and I’ll kill any man who dares to,” I stated calmly.
Angelo gaped at me, clearly confused.
“Call my brother if you get service down here. I want to speak to him.”
Angelo rushed to comply. The familiar mantle of power and control slipped back over me with ease. It was jarring to be the prisoner and not the jailor. The whole situation was fucked up, yet I was already adjusting. Angelo handed me the phone.
“Well, what did he say?” Kirill’s voice barked out the question over the phone, sounding as grumpy as ever.
“He asked why the fuck you want to help him when you’re the reason he’s here?”
Silence met my glib words.
“So, how’s being boss? Did you get new business cards printed yet?”
“Nikolai.” Kirill’s tone was always the same for me: wary, exasperated. Uncertain.
I could hardly blame him. I’d cultivated his feelings toward me for years. I’d worked hard to be the crazy brother, the Joker, the uncaring killer without a heart. As soon as people thought they knew you, they underestimated you. You became someone they believed they could predict. Sometimes that advantage had been the only thing that had kept me alive.
“Yes, it’s me. I’m still alive if that’s what you’re wondering.”
“Did you try to escape? De Sanctis was only keeping you for a week, tops. I cut him in on a fucking great deal with that understanding. Now, he’s claiming that you killed his men and demanding longer to deal with the added insult of showing up his security.”
I blew out a sigh. “When you say it like that, it sounds bad.”
“Niko!”
“What? You expected me to go like a little lamb to the slaughter? You might have won that round, and I admire you for it, but you should know I go down swinging every single time. If you didn’t want me to die in here, maybe you shouldn’t have given over your own brother.”
“What else could I have done? One of us had to become pakhan.”
“You could have fought me and killed me like a man.”
Kirill was silent for a long moment and then cleared his throat. “Maybe I didn’t want to. Maybe I didn’t want our father to win one more time, pitting us against each other. Maybe I wanted to give him the finger to wherever he’s burning right now, like you always did.”
An involuntary chuckle left me at that. “Well, shit, bratan, when you put it like that, it makes it hard to hate you. Please don’t tell me you want to be just like me when you grow up. Molly would divorce you.”
“Niko, be serious.”
“I’m being serious. I’m spending my time here handcuffed to a pipe, with a couple of cracked ribs and loose teeth. That’s pretty fucking serious.”
Kirill cursed under his breath. “That was never part of the deal.”
“What can I say? I have a gift for making things worse.”
“Yeah, and it goes hand in hand with your talent for pissing people off. I’m going to speak to Antonio.”
“No. You need to satisfy your part, and I can take it. I don’t want my bratva being ripped apart by the Italians.”
“Your bratva?”
“Fine.” I grinned at the handset. “Ours. Besides, I’ve someone I want to keep my eye on in here.”
“Fuck’s sake, Niko. You’re still as obsessed with Sofia as ever,” Kirill cursed.
“From one obsessive man to another, keep your nose out of my business. I accept your olive branch, bratan. When I get out of here, I won’t try to kill you unless you piss me off.”
“That’s generous of you. Don’t leave it too long. Get out and come and see me. Molly’s upset. She’s worried about you. Let’s find a position for you in the brotherhood. I need good men to watch my back.”
I laughed at that, a real, genuine boom of sound. “Only you’d be fucked up enough to trust your rival to watch your back.”
“Yeah, and you’re the only fucked-up rival honorable enough to do it.”
I glanced at Angelo, who was hovering and looking anxiously toward the door.
“We’ll see. I’ve been thinking about retiring. A cabin in the woods or a shack by the sea. I haven’t decided yet.”
“There’s no way you could keep out of trouble long enough to retire. Take care of yourself, and don’t overstay your welcome just to get close to Sofia. She hates you, remember?”
“Yeah, well, so did Molly, and now you’re married. Don’t worry about me, Kirill. Do me a favor,” I added before I hung up.
“What?”
“Bury Viktor in an unmarked grave, somewhere he’d absolutely hate.”
I sensed Kirill’s smile over the phone. “Will do.”
“Good. I’ll be seeing you soon, big brother.”
I hung up and handed the cell back to Angelo.
“Well?” The older man was sweating.
“We have a deal. You’ll get me out when I want out. Kirill will see you paid generously and free to run off wherever you want with the woman you want. But you’ll do what I say when I say it, no questions asked. That’s the deal,” I said.
I could practically see the thoughts chasing through Angelo’s brain. I had him over a barrel since he’d been so very obliging in giving me ammunition against him. Chiara was his greatest weakness and my trump card. Fear for a loved one was the greatest motivator.
“Okay, agreed. But Sofia…” Angelo trailed off. He’d been her bodyguard since before I’d even met my little obsession. Worrying about her had to be second nature to him by now.
“Is my business. Don’t worry your pretty head about Sofia. Leave that to me. Cuff me back up and don’t raise suspicion,” I ordered him.
The cuffs hurt when they went back on, but now it was an invigorating kind of pain. I had Angelo dancing on strings for me, Silvio De Sanctis to kill, and a Mafia princess to win to my side.
I smiled in the darkness. In chaos, I thrived.
