My anxious eyes stared back at me from the full-length mirror in the training room. The bruise on my cheek drew my attention every single time.
I’d come to work out in the room where Renato and I had learned our defense skills, hoping that would burn off some of my energy. I should feel tired from barely sleeping, but I didn’t. I felt like nitrous was running in my veins instead of blood. Fear and anxiety were keeping me awake around the clock.
A terrible foreboding dogged my thoughts. Something terrible was going to happen. I could feel it. It wasn’t just me I was worried about either.
There was something wrong with me, and it was sitting downstairs, chained to a pipe. Nikolai might die down there. Silvio might really kill him. The thought sent anxious tears to my eyes.
In my world, finding a man whose hands were clean was impossible, yet even then, Nikolai’s were pretty far from clean. He had never tried to hide who he was from me. He was the most honest man in my life. I had someone on my side, someone in my corner. Someone who didn’t care about my father. For the first time in my life, I didn’t feel alone.
I ran through my warm-up routine. If being kidnapped by Niko had taught me anything, it was that despite my skills, I was no match for a man’s strength, head-to-head. My biggest strength lay in taking my opponent off guard and being sneaky and quick.
I pushed my body through a quick routine of push-ups and sprints, dropping and sweeping an imaginary leg before rolling and jumping quickly to my feet.
My chest burned as I pushed myself, and my well-used muscles ached. I embraced the pain. It made it real.
My phone rang on the bench against the wall, interrupting my punishing routine. I stopped, gulping down air, and headed for it. It was Renato’s ringtone. I hadn’t spoken to my brother for weeks, and now I grabbed the handset eagerly.
“Sofia? Stai bene?”
“I’m okay. How about you? I was starting to worry you’d died over there. Don’t I merit a check-in call now and again?”
Ren chuckled, and the sound was comfortingly familiar. “I’m sorry, piccolina. Things have been a little… tense here.”
I tucked my phone between my ear and shoulder and grabbed my water bottle. “Tense how?”
“I don’t want to bore you. Let’s just say the family still loves their vendettas and aren’t afraid to drag everyone into it.”
“Are you safe? I mean, there’s no risk to you?”
Ren blew out a resigned breath. “Only as much as there usually is. You know our lives, Sofia… here today, gone tomorrow. Not everyone makes it to Antonio’s age unscathed.”
“That’s why his motto is kill first, apologize later,” I reminded him. Ren chuckled again. “Seriously, don’t joke about that. I need you to come back. I need you to be boss sooner rather than later,” I said.
“Why? Is Antonio mistreating you?” Ren’s voice hardened.
My brother was ten years older than me. Since I had been old enough to merit a beating for getting my dress dirty or making noise during an important meeting, he’d been stepping between my father and me and taking the hit whenever he could. Our father told him his need to protect me was a weakness, but Renato had never let those insidious words work into his heart. Maybe one day, when the world we lived in had jaded him enough, he’d stop caring so much, but for now, he was still my big brother. A man who’d burn the world down to save me. Oddly, I trusted in Renato to protect me with the same certainty that I trusted in Nikolai. Somehow, in our fraught and chaotic relationship, he’d become someone I felt safer with than my family, even if hurting was all he knew how to do.
“Not more than usual. The broken engagement hasn’t made him happy,” I muttered.
Ren snorted. “You didn’t know Kirill Chernov, barely met him. Why would it annoy him that much?”
“Maybe because we both know it wasn’t my happiness he was worried about, but his bottom line. Anyway, he ended up making a deal. Hopefully, once he expands the business further in New York, he’ll be less annoyed with me. He has someone else in mind.”
Renato was quiet for a long moment. “Once I’m boss, I won’t let anyone hurt you, not even your husband.”
So my brother knew about the new engagement. That hurt somehow, even though it shouldn’t. There was nothing Ren could do short of returning home and killing our father. I couldn’t blame him. Patricide wasn’t a natural instinct for most. Nikolai might be an exception in that way. He was an exception in many ways.
“Sofia?” My brother’s concern only hurt more. He was concerned yet powerless. It was the story of our relationship in a nutshell.
“I’m here. I miss you. Be careful over there, okay? I need you home in one piece.”
Renato chuckled, but it sounded bitter. “I’ll get home in one piece. You know me, I’m hard to kill. Anyway, I called because I wanted to warn you I’ll be out of reach for a while. A few weeks. Nothing’s wrong. I’m just busy. Don’t worry about me.”
“Sure I won’t. And you won’t worry about me, right?” I teased, trying to lighten the mood before we hung up.
“Right.” Renato’s quiet voice threatened to undo my efforts to sound upbeat.
I sank down on the floor of the training room and lay back, staring at the ceiling, as my brother hung up. I tried to imagine what it was like where he was.
The De Sanctis family compound in Italy was just outside Naples. The Campagna region was beautiful, full of rolling hills and dramatic coasts. I visited once when I was very young with my mother. We’d gone to the Amalfi coast and spent the day having a picnic on the rocky outcrop, overlooking a turquoise sea shaded by olive trees.
After that, I’d always wanted to live somewhere quiet, by the sea, where I could hear the waves washing up to my door.
Instead, I was here in Casa Nera, and there was no escape from the life I’d been born into. There was no escape for Renato either, or Nikolai. I remembered Niko’s words that night we’d met so many years ago.
“We both have masters. Admitting that is the first step to breaking free.”
Now, for the first time in my caged life, I considered what it would be like to break the bars and leave my so-called home behind forever. The idea didn’t terrify me like it once had. Could I fly free? Was I too scared to even try? What if I jumped and then found out the hard way that my wings really were clipped?
“Sofia,” a voice called from the door.
I jumped. I’d been so lost in my thoughts I hadn’t heard anyone come in. Carmella stood in the doorway, a headscarf over the patch of hair Silvio had torn out. Her faded brown eyes looked hesitant and sorrowful, setting me immediately on guard.
“What’s happened?”
“It’s your father.” She was wringing her hands. Never a good sign.
“He’s not coming back from AC today?”
Silvio was always emboldened when my father wasn’t in residence, so this was unwelcome news.
Carmella shook her head. “He’s had a heart attack, tesoro. He’s in the hospital.”
Our Lady of the Sacred Heart in downtown Trenton was bursting at the seams with De Sanctis men. The VIP floor looked like the waiting room for a mob casting, and my uncle, Franco, was in charge of it all. I waited outside the room with Angelo to see the patient.
A doctor had already briefed us on his condition: stable but weak. He’d collapsed on his way back from Atlantic City and needed emergency surgery. Now he needed to recover. He’d be here for weeks, which meant that half the might of the De Sanctis family needed to be stationed outside in shifts for the duration. Antonio De Sanctis was a powerful man, and he had plenty of enemies. If word got out that he was a sitting duck in the hospital, his life would be in further danger.
“Sofia, come in,” my uncle called from my father’s room.
Franco stepped back when I approached and let me in. Silvio followed, to my annoyance, and Angelo waited outside.
The sight of Antonio lying in a too-big hospital bed, surrounded by machines and cables, did something strange to me. “Papa.” I approached his side and took his slack hand in mine. He looked so small in that state-of-the-art bed. He’d always loomed so large to me, been so powerful, yet he was just a man, and he’d nearly died.
“Figlia, don’t look like you’re attending a funeral. Cazzo, I’m not dead yet,” Antonio chastised. He’d read my mind.
I nodded and let go of his hand. He looked tired, and with the surgery so fresh, he’d probably be asleep again soon.
“I need you to stay home for a while. No school, no outings. Just sit tight at home. We need the dust to settle on all this.”
“I’ll keep an eye on Sofia, Zio,” Silvio said from his position, lounging against the wall.
Gooseflesh of disgust and warning crept over me. My cousin was really becoming a problem.
Antonio blinked his watery eyes. “Va bene. Renato cannot be disturbed by this. He has bigger problems in Italy. No one calls him,” he warned, silencing me with a look when I opened my mouth to protest.
“Franco is in charge here, and Silvio is in charge at the compound. This is my decision.” He coughed with the effort of speaking and grimaced in pain.
My uncle stepped toward me, nodding. “Whatever you decide, brother. Sofia, go home now. Silvio will take you.”
Just like that, I was dismissed. I turned away and stepped quickly to the side when Silvio reached for me.
A muscle in his jaw ticked, and he reached out and grabbed my arm regardless, his fingers pressing hard into my skin. “Don’t make a scene, Sofia. You heard the boss. I’m in charge of your ass at home. If you want me to be gentle with it, don’t piss me off.”
He walked into the corridor and dragged me along. Angelo fell into step beside me, his eyes tight and worried when they caught mine.
Silvio chuckled, holding me close to whisper in my ear, “It looks like the days of hiding behind Daddy are ending. Soon, it’ll just be you and me. My father won’t stop me from taking what I want. Renato isn’t to be disturbed, and he’s a fucking ocean away. Oh, and I also made no kind of deal with Kirill Chernov to return his brother alive. This week is looking up.”
I pushed him away and strode down the corridor as he dogged my heels. “The doctor said my father is already recovering, so I wouldn’t be making any plans you might regret.”
Silvio smirked. “Yeah, well, it’s dangerous in the hospital. Your father has a lot of enemies.”
I stopped and stared at him. “Are you threatening us?”
Silvio shrugged. “I’m not doing anything but pointing out a fact. Don’t worry. My father will make an excellent boss when the need arrives.”
I forced a nonchalant laugh. “When? You mean if. Besides, in that event, Renato will come home. You’ll never be the heir of the De Sanctis family, Silvio, so stop panting after it. It’s embarrassing.”
We reached his car, a penis-shaped red shiny sports car, parked illegally at the curb.
“The only embarrassing thing will be how you beg me to go easy on you when your world falls down. Soon, I might have the power to see you married off to old Vincenzo Moroni. Or maybe I’ll have you first. Take what you’ve been dangling in front of me for years and send you off anyway.”
He laughed, and a chill ran down my spine. If I needed a sign that my father was in real danger, Silvio casually threatening to rape me was it. Things in my family had just gotten a lot more dangerous.
“So, Franco’s planning a coup? Is that where you’re going with this?”
Silvio pushed me into the car, hardly listening to me, and Angelo got in the back. We both watched Silvio round the front of the car.
“Don’t push, Sofia. Don’t let him know you suspect anything,” my bodyguard said quietly.
I bit my tongue with an effort. He was right, but anger dulled my self-control. I gathered it, piece by piece, reconstructing the unfeeling, aloof mask I’d relied on to survive my family.
Silvio got into the car with a grunt, rocking the entire vehicle. “You heard Antonio. I’m in charge at the house. You won’t be attending classes or leaving the compound, not while your father is in hospital. I can’t spare any more men. We’ll be stretched thin, dividing manpower between us and him.”
“I can’t miss school all the time,” I pointed out.
Silvio shrugged. “Who cares? You’re getting married soon, aren’t you? Might as well drop out now.”
