I had been fully initiated into sex. From Cosmo, I learned that there were a variety of ways to give someone sexual pleasure. If I had a checklist, I’d be able to mark off many of them tonight. On a table. Check. Giving a blow job. Check. Although did it count if he didn’t come in my mouth? In a shower. Check. From behind. Check. However, the magazine also suggested that it took longer for men to recover than women, and that most men had only one orgasm in them a night. Clearly, Cosmo didn’t know about Chase. He’d completely wrung me out that last time. I’m not sure how I kept my legs underneath me. Fortunately, he carried me to bed.
The evening had been wonderful, so disappointment filled me when he went to leave me in my room. Why couldn’t he stay with me? I’d been afraid to ask him to hold me, but I wasn’t ready for the night to end. Sensing he wasn’t a cuddling type, I suggested that after I rested, we could have more sex.
Laying next to him was like a little bit of heaven. I knew I couldn’t get used to it. Chase was pretty determined to keep an emotional distance between us. It was interesting that sex, an act that was the ultimate in intimacy, didn’t violate his emotional boundaries, but laying together did. For me though, it was comforting. For the first time I felt protected, even if I didn’t feel loved and cherished. I sighed and closed my eyes, savoring the nearness of him.
I woke alone. It was dark in the room. I turned to the side table where the alarm clock sat with a red 3:04 am glowing on the screen. I’d fallen asleep. I wondered how long it had been before Chase left me. Why? What was the big deal about sharing a bed, anyway?
Annoyed, I got out of bed. I started to put a robe on, but decided to stay naked. I strode to his room, but I hesitated outside his door. This was his domain and he might not appreciate me invading it. But I was his wife, dammit. Was he really going to relegate me to the guest room for this marriage? Fake or not, we were having sex. We were going to make a baby.
I opened the door and peeked in. His room was large with huge floor to ceiling windows. His bed sat on one end and a sitting area was at the other. The house I grew up in could probably fit in this room.
He lay on his back, one arm over his head, and his sheet riding low over his waist. His face was relaxed, his long dark lashes brushing over his cheeks. He looked almost serene.
I walked over to him, marveling at his beauty. His chest was broad and hard. His abs were chiseled and strong. I slowly tugged the sheet down, revealing his penis. It lay along his thigh, not hard but not completely flaccid either. I’d read once that men often got erections while they slept.
I reached over and gently drew a finger over it, causing it to jump.
“What are you doing?” Sleep filled his voice, and I was glad he wasn’t angry.
I wanted to tell him that I wanted to sleep with him, but I was afraid he’d push me away. “I want another lesson.”
He groaned. “You’re going to be the death of me.”
“I would think a man like you would like a wife who was amorous.” I purposefully used the word wife so he’d remember we were connected now, even if it was just a legal arrangement.
“It’s been a long time for me. My dick isn’t used to so much.”
I stroked his dick again, marveling at how quickly it got hard. “He doesn’t seem to mind.” Taking a chance, I straddled his thighs and took his dick in both my hands.
He let out a long-satisfied sigh as I slowly pumped my hands up and down his shaft. “What do you want to learn?”
Since I was already above him, I said, “I want to be on top.”
“Good, I don’t have to do anything.” He put both his arms behind his head and watched me. I noted a little humor in his eyes.
“What do I do?” I asked.
“When you’re ready, you put your pussy over me and lower down. You need to be ready though, Sara. You need to be wet. Are you?”
I felt aroused and so I must have been. “I think so.”
“Why don’t you let me help. Come put your pretty pussy over my face.”
My eyebrows shot up.
He laughed, as he took his hands and put them on my hips. Then he pulled me up until I was straddling his head. His hands thread between my legs and gripped my behind. He pulled me down until my pussy was over his mouth.
His tongue licked me, and fire shot through my body. I gasped as I pressed my hands to the headboard to keep from falling over.
“Mmm, you are wet,” he said.
I wanted to grind into his mouth, but was afraid I’d suffocate him.
“Ride my tongue, Sara.” His tongue licked my hole and then thrust in.
“Oh God, Chase.” My hips rocked to the rhythm of his mouth. Tension cranked up fast and furious until my entire body exploded and I cried out his name.
He gently licked me. “Yes, I think you’re ready to ride my cock.”
Maybe, but my body was boneless again. Somehow I got the strength and moved back down his body, straddling his thighs. His dick was long, thick and hard on his belly.
“Take him in your hand and guide him into you,” Chase said, resting his hands on my thighs. I appreciated that he was letting me take the lead, but I was feeling completely inept.
I took him in hand and rose up on my knees, adjusting until his tip was at my entrance.
“Now at your own pace, slide down my cock.”
I lowered over him, feeling his dick as I took him inside. It was different like this, just as it had been when he had me from behind. I felt more in control, and able to take him deeper. Finally, he was all the way in.
“You okay?” His voice was hoarse and his fingers were gripping my thighs a little tighter.
“Yes. What do I do?”
“What do you feel like doing? Your body knows, Sara. Just surrender to it.”
I rocked my hips, and again pleasure radiated through me. I did it again and again, and finally my body rose and sank over him. He was right. I let instinct take over and my body did the work on its own. I rode him, each time the pressure built, and soon I needed to go faster, harder.
“Fuck, that’s good Sara.” His hands moved to my hips, and guided me. He bucked up, his hips meeting mine.
My breasts bounced wildly, my hair swayed back and forth as I rode harder and faster, chasing my release.
“Oh God… I’m going to come…” I teetered on the edge, not ready for it to end, and yet desperate for release.
“Come on my cock,” Chase growled.
And then I was there. Pleasure speared me sharp and deep. My head dropped back and my body went tight.
“Ah fuck yah.” Chase’s hips thrust up, and I felt his hot liquid fill me.
After the first pop, my body continued to ride him, drawing out the pleasure until finally I collapsed on him. His heart thundered in his chest where I’d laid my head.
“You’re a fast learner,” he said breathlessly.
“You’re a good teacher.”
I waited for him to kick me out, but instead we lay with me sprawled on top of him. When I finally decided I should move, I looked down, and he was fast asleep.
I knew he’d want me to go to my own room, but I didn’t get where I was by always doing what people wanted or expected of me. So instead, I moved off of him, settling myself in the bed next to him. I could simply tell him I fell asleep too if he wondered why I was there in the morning.
Feeling more content that I had in a long time, I shut my eyes and let sleep come.
I woke to the early dawn sun creeping into the room but Chase was gone. I sat up and saw my robe at the end of the bed. I put it on and made my way out to the living area. Chase was on the couch in a pair of sweats, sleeping.
Disappointment killed the happiness I felt the night before. I nearly went back to his room to be contrary, but ultimately acquiesced and went to mine. I might be poor and needy for affection, but I did have some pride. I wasn’t going to beg for his attention.
The next morning, I joined him for breakfast. His sharp gray eyes watched me as I spread butter on the English muffin Mrs. Childs had brought.
“Sara, we need to get a few things straight.”
I raised my hand to stop him. “I know. Stay in my own room.”
He rested his forearms on the table. “I’m happy to give you as many sex lessons as my dick can give, but it’s just a side perk of our arrangement. This isn’t a marriage in the traditional sense.”
“I get it,” I snapped. It was bad enough to feel embarrassed and rejected, he didn’t need to rub it in.
“I don’t want to hurt you. But I can’t give you all that love ever after bullshit, Sara.”
“If you don’t want to hurt me, then stop telling me that I’m not good wife material.”
“Fuck.” He looked away for a moment. “It’s not you.”
I bit into my muffin, looking out over the view.
“Look at me, Sara.”
Reluctantly, I turned my head to him.
“I’m not husband material. It’s not in me to love and honor forever. You’re a kind, sweet, smart woman. That’s why you should consider moving on once this deal is done. You deserve to have someone who can love you like you want.”
“I’m not leaving my baby.”
He blew out a breath. “Then you’re going to have to accept the situation here.”
“I get it, Chase. Can we talk about something else now?”
He lifted his hands in surrender. “Whatever you want.”
What I wanted was exactly what he said; someone who could love me. As difficult and as hard as Chase could be, I wished it was him.
