I’d lost my mind. I stood in front of my mirror, staring down at my body. A gray button down tucked into black slacks, and a giant, gaudy security badge stared back at me. I’d even been given a flashlight and pepper spray to attach to my belt. Freaking pepper spray.
The only thing that made me feel the slightest bit better was even though I may have been stupid enough to accept this job, Jim Grayson was even more stupid for asking me. Nothing against female guards, women could rock any damn thing they set their mind to. I just wasn’t one of those women.
Throwing a sweater over my uniform, I snatched the scuffed, black shoes I’d worn the night before and stumbled out of my room. Saturday morning was the only day during the week I got to sleep in, but due to this training shift, I’d only been able to steal four measly hours. Taking this shift had me questioning all my life choices.
Thankfully, there’d been zero moaning sounds through my bedroom wall, so I’d at least been able to crash in my own room. They’d either already finished their business by the time I fell face first onto my mattress, or they were especially good at keeping quiet. Even still, I was feeling grumpy.
I made a pit stop at Jamie’s door, cracking it open and peering inside. “Psst, Jamie.” I rapped my knuckles lightly on the wood. “Morning, rise and shine.” Sheets rustled, and I could make out the lump of his body twisting on the bed. He mumbled an incoherent sentence.
“Sorry, bud, I have work today. Up and at ’em if you want breakfast.” A muffled groan was the only reply. Good enough. I shut his door as quietly as I could, trying not to rile Sadie in the next room.
Layla was still crashed and would be for several more hours. She was meeting some guy today to play music with. She’d run into him at a coffee shop in town, and they’d hit it off after discovering their shared love for Martin guitars.
Part of me was apprehensive about her meeting up with someone we didn’t know, but the other part of me was happy for her. I’d been worrying lately that she was going to regret coming to live here, but if she started dating, she’d hopefully put down a few roots and make a home here as well.
A scratching noise caught my attention, and I glanced to the right to see Rugsy dancing in front of the patio door, whining. “I know, I’m coming.”
Dropping my shoes, I put my body weight on the door, shoving it open as far as I could, hissing when the frigid morning air battered against me. “Make it quick, sausage roll, it’s freezing out here.”
I left her to do her business, sliding my socked feet across the kitchen floor and aiming for the coffee pot. There were a lot of things I’d given up over the years to save money, but coffee would never be one of them. I’d shank a bitch if someone tried to take away my caffeine.
I hummed a random children’s song to myself and scooped in the butterscotch-flavored grounds. I was filling up the water reserve when I heard the patio door shifting and creaking and stepped back, looking over the bar to see Jamie. “You got it shut all the way?”
“Yeah.” He rubbed his eyes, readjusting his crooked pajama pants and stomping his big feet into the kitchen. I wasn’t any happier about being awake on a typical day off than he was, so I decided to give him a free ride on the sassy train.
Tossing some bagels in the toaster, I began mixing up a big glass of chocolate milk to help pump up his mood. “Layla won’t be home, so you’ll be staying the night at grandma and grandpa’s tonight.”
He dropped into a chair, crossing his arms over the table and laying his head on them. “I know, she told me.”
I offered up a small smile, hoping he wasn’t too mad about me and her both being gone on our hangout day. “This won’t happen often, I promise. I just have to go in for training today.”
The bagels sprang up, and I plucked them out, tossing them on the counter and sticking my semi-burnt fingers in my mouth. “You’ll have fun, and I’ll try to swing by and see you before I head out tonight.”
He nodded over his arms but said nothing, and the guilt that had eaten me up last night hit me again like a speeding bulldozer. I swallowed it down, putting a smile on my face and telling myself I was doing the right thing.
I handed him the chocolate milk and an apple, the guilt I felt thicker than the topping for his bagel. “Regular cream cheese or strawberry?”
A half hour later, I herded him out the door, amazed we’d managed to walk out on time. We’d both lazed about, daydreaming about our pillows rather than actively getting ready.
We each zipped up our jackets and walked out front. Technically we had a one-car garage, but the door sounded like a herd of stampeding dinosaurs, and I was scared of it breaking and trapping my vehicle inside, so we didn’t use it.
“—so nice. I wish you’d come out more often, you don’t have to stay home all the time.”
My head swiveled to the side at the sound of a woman’s voice. Jamie and I paused mid-walk, looking at the three individuals also walking out of the house next door.
Garrett wore gray sweatpants that hung off his hips in a way that felt indecent, and a black tank that showed off every ripple of muscle all the way to his shoulders. It was unfair how attractive he was without even trying.
His hair was tousled like he’d just rolled out of every straight woman’s wet dream, and when my wandering gaze finally made it to his face, those hazel eyes were fixed on me.
I’d been right, the vehicle belonged to the woman from last night. She stood next to him in the same clothes she’d worn the night before. Normally, that would’ve indicated they’d had a one-night stand, but the third individual threw me off.
He was older than Garrett, maybe around his early fifties. He had what society would label a “dad bod” with a salt-and-peppered beard and matching hair that was pulled back in a ponytail. He stood with a similar air to Garrett and had his arm wrapped around the woman’s shoulders.
Had they all spent the night together? My eyes widened of their own accord. I hadn’t heard a damn thing, and the wheels of my mind were working overtime. How did one have a threesome quietly?
Ignoring Garrett’s continued stare, and the now two extra sets of eyes on us, I opened the passenger door, setting my purse and Jamie’s overnight bag on the seat.
“Are you heading to work?”
The deep, gravelly voice slid up my spine, stopping at the base of my neck. I turned to find him a few steps closer, arms crossed over his chest, glowering at my slacks and work shoes with such intensity that I subconsciously stepped back.
It was only one step, one small, singular movement, but I might as well have quaked like a leaf and waved a white flag to my observant, overprotective son. By the time I’d finished the lone step, Jamie had shoved in front of me, crossing his arms and mimicking Garrett’s stance back at him. “Who are you?”
Oh my God. Darting forward, I wrapped my hands around his shoulders, pulling him back against me. “That’s Garrett, he lives in the other half of the duplex.” Jamie’s face didn’t relax. If anything, his frown deepened.
Addressing the glowering man, I answered, “And yes, I work today.”
I sneaked a glance back at the Jeep, about to pull Jamie toward his door when the woman reached out and smacked Garrett in the back of his head. “Fix your face.”
A chuckle tried to burst out, and I hastily sucked it back in, a choked, wheezing sound escaping me. He didn’t flinch at her parental-like assault, his eyes just traveled up my body before he turned his glower on her instead.
I exhaled, feeling like I could breathe again. The woman, unfazed by his irritation, tsked at him and shook her head. Walking toward me, she waved her hand in his direction and said, “Don’t mind him.”
She extended the same hand to me as she continued, “We met yesterday. Kind of.” She laughed, like the memory from last night was a treasure she was savoring. “So, you’re the neighbor. I’m Sarah, Garrett’s sister-in-law.”
Attempting to mask my surprise, I reached past Jamie, who remained statue-still in front of me, and took her hand. “Yes, that’s me. I’m Madison Hartland, it’s nice to meet you.”
Sarah smiled, and it lit up her entire face. Sporting wrinkled clothes and smeared makeup, yet she was somehow still gorgeous. She hooked a manicured thumb over her shoulder at the man who’d had his arm around her. “That’s my husband, Harold.”
Harold let out an irritated grunt that had her erupting in giggles, and I wondered if she was maybe still a little tipsy. Unfortunate brother-in-law aside, I decided I liked her, and I knew Layla certainly would.
“He’d prefer it if you called him Harry.” Her eyes twinkled, and I couldn’t help but smile back.
Dropping her gaze to Jamie, she asked, “And who’s this strapping young man in front of you?”
I’d been prepared for the question and immediately slapped bricks down, building up my defensive wall with superhuman speed so my disappointment at her response wouldn’t show on my face. I wasn’t ashamed of Jamie, not even a little, but that didn’t mean it was always easy to stomach responses with a smile on my face.
“This is my son, Jamie.” I gave his shoulder a small pat and waited for it—the slight nose curl most people did without even realizing it. But it never came. In fact, she didn’t react at all besides reaching a hand toward him to shake.
It was Garrett who caught my eye. His double-take was subtle enough that I would’ve thought I’d imagined it if it weren’t for his face. It was like I’d told him the earth was square.
His eyes widened, deep creases appearing across his forehead as his brows rose. His arms fell slack to his sides, and he darted his gaze back and forth between Jamie and me.
I could’ve guessed word for word what was going through his brain. He was calculating, adding and subtracting our apparent ages, trying to figure out if I looked younger than I was or if Jamie looked older.
“Garrett, why didn’t you tell me you had such a handsome neighbor?” Sarah asked, winking at Jamie, and my heart warmed at the open smile he gave her. She’d made his entire day with that comment alone, and I was tempted to hug her.
Garrett sighed in the way all people did when their siblings were being annoying as hell. He looked to Harry for help, but Harry only chuckled, clearly not tempted to help him out at all.
Accepting defeat, Garrett walked forward until he was even with her and looked down at Jamie. “It’s nice to meet you, Jamie.”
Then he smiled—a small one, no more than a tilt of the lips—but it morphed his entire face, relaxing the harsh edges and exposing the barest hint of dimples.
I gripped Jamie’s shoulders to keep myself from stepping forward in a daze. Garrett’s smile was like the fucking sun, sucking me into its gravitational pull against my will. I was pretty sure my panties disintegrated on the spot. The man had fucking dimples.
In hindsight, I should’ve known better and paid more attention to my reaction. Jamie, more aware than I ever wanted him to have to be, took my snug grip as a sign that I was uncomfortable. The grin he’d given Sarah disappeared, and he openly glared at Garrett, muttering the most unfriendly hello ever to be released into the world.
But instead of looking insulted, Garrett appraised him. He roved his eyes over his face with a contemplative look, and I fidgeted, wondering what he saw. Could he see the stress radiating from Jamie’s small body, the fight response vibrating just under his skin?
Garrett’s eyes finally twitched the tiniest bit, and then they snapped up to me. For the first time since meeting him, he seemed to see me, and the fluttering sensation occurring in my middle in response was a clear indication it was time to go.
I looked to Sarah, who was watching us with a devilish smirk on her face, and tipped my head toward my vehicle. “It really was nice meeting you, but we need to head out.”
Her hand went to her chest, worry lines gracing her face. “I’m a talker, I’m so sorry, I hope I didn’t make you late.”
I gave Jamie a gentle push, whispering for him to buckle in. “No, no. I don’t have a set time this morning, I just have to get in a required number of hours, and I can’t afford to be late tonight.”
Garrett’s mouth opened and then snapped shut, the muscles in his jaw flexing as he re-crossed his arms.
“All right, well, bye.” I gave a wave, circling back around the Jeep and climbing in. Knowing Jamie was watching me, I reined in the natural urge to grip the steering wheel and backed out of the drive.
I waited patiently for the mini explosion that was coming, and I didn’t have to wait long. We’d barely made it to the end of our road when he detonated.
“Why did he talk to you?”
“You don’t think people would want to talk to me? I’m cool.” Yep, I was deflecting like it was dodgeball.
“No. He was being nosy. He shouldn’t be asking about your work.”
I flicked my eyes up to the rearview mirror. He was staring out the window, hands clenched in his lap, and his face was strained. “He lives next door, bud, he was trying to be friendly.”
“He didn’t look friendly.”
“Honestly, I think that’s just his face. You know how Layla tells me I always look angry when I zone out? I think Mr. Garrett suffers from the same thing.”
I glanced up again, but he didn’t crack a smile. “You shouldn’t have told him anything. You should’ve told him to worry about himself, like you tell me all the time.”
Nausea coiled in my stomach. I’d slowly been sewing up all the holes Aaron had carved into Jamie’s heart, soothing his stress and avoiding things that set him off, but my irresponsibility with my reaction to Garrett had ripped it all open again.
I didn’t blame Garrett; it wasn’t his fault his size and general vibe were intimidating. The only person who deserved the blame was Aaron.
“Yeah, maybe you’re right, but he wasn’t being malicious. He and Sarah were just talking and being neighborly. It’s always good to get to know your neighbors in case of an emergency.”
He finally turned, making eye contact with me for a moment through the mirror. “We have each other for that, and Layla.”
I sighed, wishing I wasn’t driving and could sit next to him and force him to give me a hug. “We can’t be scared of every man who talks to us, bud. That’s not how I want to live, and that’s not how I want you to live. We deserve more than that, don’t you think?”
He huffed a heavy breath, and his voice came out sharp and angry. “I wasn’t scared of him. I just didn’t like him looking at you like that.”
Deciding not to feed the flames, I raised my invisible flag. “The coolest thing about choices, bud, is they’re yours. You don’t have to like anyone if you don’t want to. You should never be rude without cause, but there is nothing that says you have to like Mr. Garrett.”
“I just don’t think you should like him.”
I pushed down a laugh. I honestly had no idea how I felt about our burly, hot-to-cold neighbor.
After Jamie had sprinted into my parents’ house with a shouted “Goodbye!” I’d stood outside for a few minutes, chatting with my mom. She’d scheduled several things for them to do over the weekend, and I was thrilled. A solid distraction was exactly what he needed.
I’d be swinging by to see him before working tonight, and I planned on waking up early so I could see him tomorrow morning before I did my payroll shift, but other than that, he’d be with my parents the entire weekend.
I had no idea how we ever would’ve made it without them, how any single mother, teenage or not, could ever make it without some sort of help. Single parents were expected to work full time yet stay home with our kids, be educated yet not abuse federal assistance, and somehow afford rent, bills, food, clothes, and gas by ourselves.
And heaven forbid we ever need to hold up a register line to pull out a WIC check.
I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, I never would’ve brought Jamie and me to the comfortable point we were at if my parents hadn’t been available to watch him while I worked, and if I hadn’t been willing to accept that help. Not everyone in my situation was that lucky.
I nodded, excited for the things Jamie would get to do with them. He’d have a blast, and my mom was always good about taking lots of pictures when they did stuff without me.
“All right, I’m going to head out, but I’m only required to shadow a guard for six hours, so I’ll have time to swing by this evening. And tomorrow morning I’ll be here bright and early to make breakfast for everyone.”
“I can’t promise we’ll be up.”
I rolled my eyes. She and my dad were the definition of morning people. They’d absolutely be up. Jamie, on the other hand, I’d have to hit with a pillow.
Walking onto the community college campus was a crazy feeling. I hadn’t stepped foot on it since I graduated, and now here I was being trusted to guard it. I wasn’t necessarily scared of something actually happening, it was more of a fear of disappointing people.
When people put their faith in me, I wanted to show them they were right to. I was motivated and determined, and when I set a goal, I accomplished it. But I didn’t feel any of that confidence with this job, and that’s what stressed me the most.
Reaching for the handle to the building, I yanked. No go. I pushed. No go. Confused, I stood there frowning hard enough to create new wrinkles before I stomped around the building looking for another entrance. Nothing.
I didn’t have the guard office’s number, just Jim’s cell. Rob had given me his, too, but I’d flipped off the email and refused to save it like the petty bitch I was.
Stepping back up to the door, I gave three hard raps on the glass pane and looked around, fidgeting. After what seemed like ten minutes and several more knocks, the door finally flew open.
The man standing on the other side was dressed identical to me, but he definitely pulled it off better. He gave off a Hollywood bootcamp sergeant vibe, except for the ten-watt smile he was currently giving me.
“You must be Madison. I hope you haven’t been standing here long. I’ve been sitting in the office waiting for you to give me a call that you’d arrived.” He stepped to the side to let me pass.
“No, sir, just a few minutes. I don’t actually have the office number, so I knocked a bunch.” I offered a small laugh, “I’ll happily take that number now though.”
It didn’t take long for me to begin to feel more comfortable with the job. My trainer seemed to understand my apprehension and knew what to say or do to show me how I could accomplish a task.
My primary job would be to drive the perimeter of the campus in the company suburban and then park and begin the on-foot patrol. He walked me through each building, showing me where lights were and explaining what all I’d need to check. Once that was all done, I was free to sit in the office until the next round of surveillance was due.
Overall, it had significantly helped ease my fears and made me feel way more prepared and capable. I was still nervous about how I’d handle anyone who got pushy about being on campus, but I supposed I’d cross that bridge if I ever came to it.
By the time I got home, I was dragging. I’d already started wearing down by the end of the six hours, and that was before I’d gone to my parents’ place. Waitressing involved a decent amount of walking, some nights an insane amount. But patrolling around, into, and through every building on a college campus, numerous times, involved a lot of walking and a lot of stairs.
Then when I’d swung by to see Jamie, he’d asked me to throw his new boomerang around with him. By the time we’d moseyed back inside to annihilate some chocolate chip cookies, my feet and legs were aching.
So now here I was, sitting in the driveway, wanting nothing more than to curl up and sleep, fully aware I’d feel even worse when I woke up tomorrow. But I needed to move, I only had maybe five minutes to change and reverse back out.
Dragging my sorry ass out of the vehicle, I was audibly groaning and mumbling when the feeling of being watched hit me. The hairs on my neck raised, and the air around me seemed to almost condense, pressing down on me. I already knew who it was. The only person who had a stare intense enough to feel from a distance.
Garrett had the hood of his Nova propped up and was leaned over it, a rag thrown across his shoulder. He was sporting his usual jeans with a white long-sleeve. The sleeves were rolled up, and his muscles flexed as he extended his arms on either side of him and rested his weight.
He was staring right at me, scrutinizing me. It should have ruffled my feathers to have a man blatantly staring at me with no care, but I was doing the same to him. I’d never been a car girl, I couldn’t tell one car from another, but seeing him leaning over the front made me want to invest in a photo calendar…or a wrench and pliers.
His eyes left my face, drifting about my body like he expected me to show up with a broken leg or something. Once he was satisfied with his findings, his gaze snapped back to mine, and for a second I thought he looked relieved. But it was there and gone in a flash, replaced by his usual pressed lips.
I gave him a silent nod of greeting and dashed away, now down to only three minutes to change.
Sadly, for my sanity, but luckily for my eyes, he hadn’t moved an inch in the few minutes I’d been inside my house. I’d had to let the dogs out to pee, and it’d taken me a few extra minutes, so I ran out, digging through my purse for my keys.
And like I was living in a goddamn comedy, when my fingers finally closed around them and yanked them out, I moved too fast and tossed them to the ground. The grumbled curses that exited my mouth were not graceful or attractive in the least.
I snatched them from the cement, twisting to make it to my Jeep, but came to an abrupt stop when I noticed Garrett had moved closer, his hands tucked in his pockets, watching me fumble.
I uttered an awkward hello and then forced myself to ignore his domineering presence and climbed into the vehicle. He was still standing in the same position, watching me with that eerie intensity, a pinch in his brows, as I reversed out of the drive.
I had no idea what his deal was, but I really hoped he’d figure his shit out and stop staring at me soon, because apparently, I had no idea how to act like a rational human being when he did.
