It’s breathtaking.
The long flowing wedding dress washes down my body like a dream as the seamstress makes the last of her minor alterations. Yesterday, I chose it out of all the rest because it was the only one gorgeous enough to make me forget, even if only for a second, about what it was for.
Marrying my captor. Aiden Kilpatrick. The monster.
Now, as it’s made to be mine and mine only, I can’t help but feel the heaviness of the future. Just like the ring Aiden gave me, this gown is far too beautiful to be used for such an ugly purpose.
On the seamstress’s orders, Tara pulls the back strings and my lungs empty completely.
“Doing okay?” Tara asks.
“Yes,” I choke.
It’s hard to tell what’s making me more teary eyed. The beauty of the dress, the reality of what it’s for, or just how fucking tight it is.
“Well, it’s worth it. You look absolutely stunning.”
“Thank you,” I whisper to my new friend. Well, ‘friend’. If you can call her that. Yesterday, Tara and I had lunch and dinner in the same garden where Aiden made me cry. But the only tears that fell down my cheeks during our meals were from laughter. Tara is a riot and the fact that I was suddenly allowed to move through the mansion had me in a state of shocked happiness. It probably made me an easy audience for some of her jokes.
But every time silence fell over our conversations, I was quickly reminded that she’s not a true friend. Tara is helping Aiden keep me here. She’s just doing it in a much more gentle manner. A true friend would help me escape.
“And, we’re done!” the seamstress announces. Tara lets go of her grip on my dress, but I can still hardly breathe any better.
“Let’s get you out of this thing and into something more comfortable. Lunch is on me,” Tara jokes.
It almost takes longer to get out of the dress than it did to get into it, but when I’m finally free, Tara tosses me my old pair of sweats. I’ve been wearing them for pretty much every waking hour since they got here. At night, I slip into my old sleeping gown.
“Will we eat in the garden again today?” I ask, putting them on.
“We could do that again. Or I could have Anthony make us smoothies and we could walk through the forest. It’s a hot one today, but in the shade of the trees it’s absolutely delightful.”
Anthony is Aiden’s head chef. He served us personally yesterday. “I like the sound of that.” Venturing outside of these walls has been my dream since I was first dragged behind them. Of course, Tara isn’t exactly offering to lead me to freedom, but some fresh scenery is definitely alluring.
So, without delay, we head to the kitchen. Then, smoothies in hand, we journey outside.
It’s sort of surreal, stepping out of Aiden’s front door. Of course, there are still guards standing watch, but when the sunlight hits my face, I almost feel good.
That is, before I see the forest.
There are no gates or fences at Aiden’s residence. Instead, the long lawn that stretches out from the front door is bordered by a thick dark wall of impenetrable-looking forest. It effectively reminds me of just how trapped I am. Even if I managed to escape these walls, I’d still get swallowed up by that jungle in no time flat.
“We’re going in there?” I ask Tara, unsure if I really want to. Then I remember that she grew up in these woods. Alone.
It gives me some courage.
“It’s not as bad as it looks,” she laughs. “The shade will be nice. Look, you’re sweating already. Are you sure you don’t want to change into something a little breezier?”
The thought crosses my mind. It would be nice to wear one of my old summer dresses again, but the thought of Aiden catching me frolicking around in something like that makes me think better of it. That can only go two ways, and neither are pleasant. Either he gets jealous that the men here get to see some of my skin, or he gets horny. Or both. Either way, I’m looking to be dragged back inside and chained to my bed again.
I don’t want that. These little tastes of freedom are too intoxicating to give up. I’ll be a good girl and hide my body for the sake of avoiding my captor’s wrath. He’s too unpredictable when he’s upset, and it seems like everything I do has the opportunity to upset him.
That’s why I was so confused this morning. When I woke up, I swore I recognized Aiden’s musky scent in the air. He was nowhere to be found, but the rest of my clothes were. And so were my books!
I could hardly believe it.
Yesterday was a vacation compared to the rest of my captivity so far. Along with my outdoor lunches, I also got to dig back into my medical journals. Pouring over those pages made me feel like the girl who dared to dream again. Florence Nightingale. The Ukraine. My training at the hospital. It all washed back over me like a long-forgotten life.
But then came the sadness. It suddenly hit me that if everything had gone as planned, I’d be in the Ukraine right now, living out an adventure on my own terms, instead of someone else’s. Though, this hardly feels like an adventure. Up to that point, the furthest I’d travelled here was to the center of my gilded prison.
It was all so depressing.
By the end of the day, I was beat. Completely emotionally drained. That exhaustion must have kept me asleep while Aiden returned some of my possessions.
But why did he do that?
Our ‘engagement’ dinner the night before was a disaster. From the moment he came to my room, insults and tears were hurled like weapons. Then he left me at that table, in the light of the most beautiful ring I’d ever seen, crying all alone, to be escorted back to my cage like a criminal.
His constant contradictions keep me on edge. Those hopeless, frustrating contradictions. How can one man be so many different things?
“What do you think?”
I look up from my thoughts and am immediately taken aback. “Another garden?” This one is even more impressive than the one at the center of Aiden’s mansion, and much more vast. When I look over my shoulder, I can still see the house, but it’s further away than I thought. My mind must really be wandering.
“This one is semi-natural too. Aiden gathered the seeds of all the most beautiful flowers in these hills and planted them here.”
“He did? Or he ordered someone to?”
“He did it himself. I even helped him.”
There’s that contradiction again. “Why’d he do that?”
In a flash, Tara’s cheery façade grows more somber. Instead of using words, she just gently gestures towards a plaque half-hidden behind the gorgeous foliage.
All I have to do is read the name on it to know what this is all about.
Bree Kilpatrick.
Aiden’s mother.
“She wasn’t buried here at first. They had her in a ramshackle cemetery in the foothills. But when the Kilpatricks regained their standing, Aiden made sure to bring her out here. I guess the flowers were his way of saying goodbye.”
I stand in the magnificent garden, desperately trying to connect the image I have of the beast who holds me captive with the image Tara is painting for me. Would the man I think I know do something like this?
No.
Then I must not know him all that well.
But who’s fault is that? Not mine.
A heavy sigh escapes my lips and the wonderful fragrant scents of my surroundings make my head light with pleasure.
This walk was supposed to provide me with a distraction from my impossible monster. It might have too, if it weren’t for that plaque. Now I’m more curious than ever.
“Who are you?” I whisper, gaze drifting across the thickly plotted earth. Despite its beauty, much of the garden seems to be in disarray. Mindlessly, I bend down and pick up a little flower that has fallen onto its side. It’s still alive, and I use my finger to dig a hole for it. Carefully, I stick its stem back in, then I brush together some dirt to help hold it up. “That’s better.” But there’s more work to be done. Other flowers are drooping nearby.
But before I can attempt to distract myself any further, I feel Tara’s hand falls on my shoulder. “Better not.”
“What do you mean?”
“This is Aiden’s garden. You know how he is. No one is allowed to tend to it but him. He’s been so busy recently, though. That’s why it’s falling into disrepair.”
“I can help.”
“Let’s worry about you first, Elisa.”
Tara helps me up and we continue on our walk. By the time our smoothies are done, we’re at the top of a clearing on a nearby hill. Not far away, two guard posts stand tall above all the trees. We’re being watched. Always.
“You see that pale tree off in the distance?” Tara says, pointing somewhere between the two towers.
I search the horizon until I spot it. And ashy trunk with no leaves curves up from above the lush green canopy. “Yes.”
“When I was a kid living out in these woods, that was one of my markers. If I ever felt lost, I’d just climb up to the highest point I could, and look for the white tree.”
“I feel lost right now,” I sigh.
“I know,” Tara commiserates. “But I’m here. I know these woods like the back of my hand.”
“You also know Aiden well.”
“Yes,” she nods.
“Did you know about his plan to buy me?”
Tara sighs and looks out towards the pale tree. “No. I didn’t. If I did, I would have tried to talk some sense into him. But these Kilpatrick men are stubborn. It’s hard to tell them when you think they’re wrong. They’ve had so much success in life that they don’t really think they’re ever wrong.”
Behind us, the foreboding mansion rises up through its clearing. From our spot on the hill, I can really tell just how incredible a structure it is. It must have been a pain to build all the way out here and cost a fortune too.
“If he’s had so much success, then why is he so furious at my father? What could he have done to make Aiden act like he does with me?”
Tara hesitates. “I’m afraid the history of your family and Aiden’s goes back before you were even born. There’s so much betrayal and back stabbings that it’s hard to keep track of it all.”
“What do you know?” I plead. “Please tell me.”
Tara purses her lips. “What do you know so far?” she echoes back.
“I’d never even heard of the Kilpatricks before Aiden and his dad showed up in Father’s office that day that he forced me to sign his marriage contract.”
Tara bends down, patting on the patch of grass beside her. Together, we sit and stare out onto the forest. “I hear things,” Tara starts. “Usually not on purpose, but when you grow up like I did, you get used to walking on thin ice. Aiden used to joke that I was the only person in the world he couldn’t hear coming.”
“Aiden jokes?”
Tara tries to smother her smile, but it’s futile. Her amusement only fans mine. Suddenly, we’re laughing.
“He’s not all stone and muscle,” Tara says, brushing her chin. The way she talks about Aiden makes him seem so human. It almost makes me angry. The last thing I want is to sit here while someone close to him sings his praises. To me, he’s just a monster. A complicated gorgeous monster.
At the talk of his body, my mind drifts back to Aiden’s shirtless image. Those dark tattoos wrap his sculpted muscles like black restraints. His stormy eyes are hard and intense. The giant beast growing beneath his pants is ravenous. His heart is stone.
“I’m not sure I believe you,” I say. Aiden is what he is to me. What else can I really go on?
“He hasn’t had an easy life,” Tara continues. “It may be hard for you to believe it now that he seems to have everything, but growing up, Aiden went through some shit that might have even broken me… And your father was responsible for a lot of it.”
A shiver freezes over the light air drifting between us. Suddenly, everything is irrepressibly heavy again. My father is no saint, but what could he have possibly done to such a powerful family?
Suddenly, a thought so horrifying hits me that I nearly keel over from the force of it. “Did… Was my father…” I can’t even put it into words. Instead, I have to approach the question from another angle. “How did Aiden’s mother die?”
The jovial side of Tara is long gone by now. Her top eyelids droop down and she plays with a chunk off grass at her feet. “They found her hanging outside of their cabin one morning.”
Bile hitches in my throat. My heart suddenly aches for the stone monster.
“How old was Aiden?”
“Twelve.”
“How horrible…”
“Your father wasn’t involved in that,” Tara says, sensing my burden. “At least, not directly.”
It’s like another shot to the heart. If Aiden blames my father in any way for the death of his mother, could I really blame him for being so spiteful?
“How so?”
“It’s… It’s not my place. If Aiden wants to tell you, he’ll tell you.”
“Tara,” I plead. “Please. Let me know what I’m up against. It’s so hard being locked away in the dark like this.”
Humorlessly, the young woman flicks a pile of upturned grass my way. I don’t blame her for being so hesitant. It must be hard to straddle such a dark line. Aiden and his family saved her from destitution, but she knows this is wrong. She knows that I’m an innocent caught up in an ancient war between wolves.
“The Kilpatricks weren’t always rich and powerful,” Tara finally submits. “When Aiden’s dad, Rian, moved to New York, he was penniless and alone. Somehow, he hooked up with your dad, a common crook who struggled to meet ends meet. Both were young but ambitious criminals. Together, they built their way up from nothing.”
My father had always been vague about his past. Even when I’d ask him about mom or his parents, he’d say nothing more than they were gone now. He never talked about a rags to riches story. From the way he made it sound, he’d always been wealthy and powerful. Who was I to doubt anything he said?
“How did it go wrong?” I ask, dreading the answer. A warm breeze blows over the forest canopy, but I’m cold. I hold myself tight, expecting the worse.
“From what I’ve heard, your father betrayed Rian.”
My heart sinks. “Why?”
Tara contemplates the question. “I’ve heard conflicting theories…”
I puff out my chest, like I have to be brave to weather these hard truths. “Tell me. Tell me all that you’ve heard. Please.”
Tara nods. “The Kilpatrick brothers all have the same story. Do you know about The Family?”
I shake my head.
“They’re a mafia syndicate that runs the entire east coast of the American underworld. When your father and Aiden’s father started to make some serious money of their own, they were asked to join The Family. Problem was, The Family had only ever consisted of Italians. That caused some problems for Rian. Your father took advantage of those problems, and with the help of the other four crime families, they eventually managed to expel the Kilpatricks from their group. Without any protection, Aiden’s family became easy pickings, and soon enough they were destitute.”
Shame weighs heavy on my mind. “Is that around the time Aiden’s mother died?”
“Yes.”
“That must have been so hard.” Slowly, I’m starting to understand the anger. But there’s more. I just know it. I’m almost too afraid to ask. “Why would my father have done that? Is he just so cruel and greedy?” I’ve never mistaken Father for a saint, but I always listened to the reasons he used to justify his actions. Really, I had no choice. Otherwise, how would I have survived my childhood under his controlling hand?
“Yes,” Tara sneers. “He really is that cruel and greedy.” Sometimes I forget that she’s practically a Kilpatrick too. “But… There’s something else. Something I don’t think the Kilpatrick brothers know about. It’s not just them I overhear…”
“What is it, Tara?”
“Don’t ask me how I know this, or where I heard it, but there may have been another reason for Ciro’s betrayal.” It’s so odd hearing someone say my father’s first name. To me he’s Father. To everyone else, he’s always either been Don D’Ignoti or boss. But the Kilpatricks hold no reverence for him. And I’m beginning to understand why.
“What? Why did Father betray Rian Kilpatrick?”
“Jealousy.”
“Over what?”
“Over Aiden’s mother. I think your father may have been in love with Bree Kilpatrick.”
My heart stops. No. Not just stops. It fucking implodes.
“That… That can’t be,” I sputter. “My father never loved anyone.” Finally, the truth spills out of me. Aiden may be made of stone, but Father was made of ice. He never cared for anyone, and the more time I spend away from his grip, the clearer it becomes that he never really cared for me either.
Tara shrugs, clearly bothered. “It might not be true. But it would explain a lot. Greed can only push a person to be so cruel, but a broken heart? That can push you right over the edge.”
Despite the heat and the sunlight, I’m suddenly shivering. Cold tears stream down my cheeks. “This fucking life,” I gasp through jagged breaths. “Why does it have to be so fucking hard? I’m suffering for the sins of my father, and I don’t even know why he did what he did. I just want to be my own person. Suffer my own consequences. Be free for once. For once in my fucking life, I just want to be allowed to live for myself.”
Tara nudges closer to me. Despite her practically being a Kilpatrick herself, I feel a kinship to her that’s hard to avoid. She’s not holding much back from me anymore. Even if she does clearly care for my captor, I trust her enough that I can just vent. She’s the only person in this whole fucking forest who wouldn’t report everything I say back to Aiden.
I’m thankful for that, at least. It’s nice to be able to finally spill my guts.
“It’s wrong,” Tara whispers. “This is all so wrong. But people like us don’t have much say in the world of these powerful men. It’s hard, but the most we can do is look out for each other.”
We lean into each other’s shoulders. Her warmth calms me a little more, but then paranoia starts to seep in through my skin. “Why are you being so nice to me?” I ask. “Wouldn’t it be easier if you just treated me like the prisoner that I am?”
At this, Tara doesn’t hesitate. “No,” she shakes her head. “There’s no comfort in losing my humanity. I’d rather betray my loyalties to Aiden than have you wither away in that house.”
“But I am withering away in that house,” I rasp. “And after I’m forced to marry Aiden, it will be that way for the rest of my life.”
“Unless you escape.”
Tara’s words are so unexpected that they hardly register. I’m about to talk over her before the weight of them truly hits me. Escape.
“How?”
Will she help me?
Tara looks down at the mess she’s made of the grass at our feet. It’s dirt now and the ground underneath is just as hard as the conflicted look on her face. “Aiden’s changed,” she finally says. “He’s not the same man who rescued me from the darkness. Not even the same troubled boy I grew up beside. I was so proud of him for outgrowing his darkness. For reclaiming his humanity. But he hasn’t. It’s all slipping away again. Whether that’s your father’s fault or not, it doesn’t matter. You shouldn’t have to suffer because of the history between evil men.”
My heart is beating like crazy. “Tara,” I draw in a deep breath. “What are you saying? Will you help me escape?”
That last word is like a string. Tara whips her head from side to side, vigilantly scanning for eavesdroppers. I join her.
We’re alone. The men standing guard at the watchtowers are too far away to be able to hear us.
“He trusts me,” Tara says. “He really shouldn’t—I was a fucking junkie—but he does. That’s why it hurts so much to do this. But it needs to be done. You need to be free. I don’t care what he’ll do to me if he finds out.”
My chest aches with anxiety. Suddenly, nothing seems so settled. “Tara. I don’t want you to put yourself in any danger for me…”
“I’m always in danger,” she snaps, an unexpected harshness coming over her tone. “There are shadows in the city that still call my name. Voices wailing up from hell that want to drag my soul back into the flames. It’s why I’m back out here in the woods. I’m trying to escape, but it’s hard. Especially when you’re alone. I want you to know that you’re not alone, Elisa.”
I feel like crying, but my cheeks are already raw and my ducts are empty. “I know, Tara. Thank you. But he’d kill you. Aiden would kill you if he heard this.”
“He might,” Tara shrugs. “I’ve been near death many times before. I’m not as scared as I should be.” She knocks at her temple with a knuckle. “Maybe I’m just a bit fried.” The soft smile returns to her lips. “This needs to be done. But you need to be careful, for both of our sakes.”
Careful. All of a sudden, two lives hang in my hand. Would I even risk ending this nightmare if it meant Tara’s life?
As she looks out onto the horizon, I truly don’t know the answer.
Just be careful, and you might not need to find out.
“The pale tree,” Tara says, after giving one last paranoid look around. “It wasn’t just a landmark for me to gather my bearings. It was an escape from the harshness of the forest. A man-made escape. There are tunnels beneath these hills, Elisa. Tunnels that are as old as the country itself. Maybe they were first built for mining, maybe for smuggling, I don’t know. All I know is that Aiden doesn’t know about them. No one does. Except for me, and now you. There’s a hatch hidden underneath the shrubbery that surrounds that white tree. Find it and it can lead you to freedom.”
The air thins around me. In the distance, the pale trunk looks like a lighthouse. A beacon. But out of the corner of my eye, I can see the watchtowers. I’m always under supervision.
“How do I get there?” I ask.
A blade of grass has found its way between her lips. She chews on it like a cowboy. “You’ll need to be given more privileges. More freedom. More trust.”
My heart sinks. I’m not escaping anytime soon. “Aiden won’t ever trust me. How could he? I’m my father’s daughter after all.”
Tara chuckles, the levity sparkling back around her. “Despite his attempts, I can tell he’s having a hard time reminding himself of that.”
“What do you mean?”
Tara raises an eyebrow. “He wants to trust you, Elisa. Aiden may be losing the last bits of his humanity, but in between it all, you seem to be melting a very cold part of him. It probably hurts, the thawing, which is why he seems so unpredictable around you.”
“Are you sure?”
Tara huffs. “No. You can never be sure about anything with these men. They’re just too closely guarded. But I have a feeling, and that feeling is enough for me to think that you have a chance to gain his trust. Do that and he might let you out of his sight for long enough to visit a certain pale white tree. But don’t risk it until that moment. Otherwise, we could both lose our lives.”
The responsibility sits heavy on my chest. The pale trunk suddenly doesn’t look so bright. It looms through the forest more like a warning than a beacon.
I have to be careful.
“While you work on your part, I’ll work on mine. At night, I’ll sneak out and put markers up underground. It will lead you wherever you want. Where do you want to go, Elisa?”
The question elicits a sharp painful response. “I don’t know,” I hang my head.
Where do I go? Aiden told me that he recaptured Father, but even if he didn’t, would I want to return to him? How would Father treat me? Would he be angry? Would he know how I’ve been corrupted by the Irish beast?
The glory of an escape dwindles inside of me and a dying sadness takes over. I have no family to run to. No friends.
What about Felix? Aiden didn’t make it sound like he had him yet. Though, he was clear about what he’d do if he ever got his hands on him.
“Do you have anyone on the outside?”
“There’s only one person. My old body guard. Felix Difrancesco. He’s like an uncle to me. But I don’t know where he is.”
“We’ll figure that out. We have some time. First, you need to get all of these eyes off of you. You have to gain Aiden’s trust.”
But how do I do that?
I look towards the pale tree on the horizon and my heart clenches. There stands hope and freedom in all of its dangerous glory.
What am I willing to do for it?
Aiden’s made it clear what he wants from me. Obedience. Submission. Everything.
Well, that’s what he’s going to get.
It’s my only way out.
