“Ry, let’s go! I’m starving.”
The morning sun beats down, warming my brother’s apartment as I wait for him on the couch.
“I need a few more minutes.” Ryan finally emerges from his room without a shirt on, a bag of ice wrapped to his shoulder. “I have five more minutes on this session.”
“How’s the shoulder?”
“Absolutely fucked. Utah’s center hammered into my arm last night.”
“Well, good thing you have the weekend off to rest it.”
“Finally, get some time with my sister.” He takes the couch opposite me. “I feel like we see each other even less now that we live in the same apartment than we did while you were still in North Carolina.” He shoots me one of those dopey, sad half-smiles.
“I miss you too, Ryan.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Can you tell me what happened with Brett?”
That causes me to pause, my stomach slightly hollowing. “We broke up. Not much more to the story.”
“That’s not what Zanders made it seem like.”
Shit. Zee wouldn’t share all the dirty details I wanted kept private, would he?
“What did he say?” I cautiously ask.
“Nothing more than he didn’t want me bringing Brett around you anymore. So, is that him just being a weird territorial boyfriend, or is there something bigger behind it? Because you’ve told me for years that it was a simple breakup, and now, I’m getting the impression that there’s more to the story, and that makes me feel like a real shitty brother for not knowing.”
Averting my eyes from him, heat rushes my cheeks. “It’s embarrassing, and he’s your friend. You’re so busy with basketball and your career that I don’t want to put you in the middle and make your life harder.”
“Vee, are you kidding me? I’m never too busy for you. You’re the most important person in my life. You’re my best friend, and if you think I’d even question having Brett’s back over yours, you’re out of your goddamn mind.” Kicking his foot up, he nudges my knee. “Please tell me what happened.”
Pulling my legs up, I cross them under my body before reaching for the gold ring on my thumb—a nervous habit of mine. But it’s currently sitting on Zanders’ pinky finger, so instead, I anxiously pull at the strings of my boyfriend’s hoodie that I’m wearing.
“Do you know that Brett and I broke up countless times over the three years we were together?”
Ryan’s brows crease. “What?”
“We did. I mean, he did. He broke up with me more times than I could count because there were other girls he wanted at any given moment. Then when he got bored, or I don’t know, lonely, he would come crawling back to me, and the constant need to be good enough for him beat down on my self-confidence like you wouldn’t believe. It got to the point I felt so shitty about myself that I was thankful to him each time he wanted me back. Thankful, Ryan.”
My twin’s freckled face is red with anger. “Why would you not tell me?”
I pull my gaze away from his, continuing to fiddle with the string of Zanders’ sweatshirt. “I think the first time it happened, I was just really sad. The three of us were such good friends, and I finally felt like I had a place in college. I didn’t want to ruin it. Then when the pattern began of him leaving and coming back, I didn’t want you to know because I knew you’d cut him out of our lives, and in a fucked-up way, I wanted him still.”
“Fuck yeah, I would’ve cut him out of our lives!” Ryan sits forward, his voice rising. “Just like I’m going to do right now. Fuck, Vee. You should’ve told me. I should’ve had your back on this. Fuck that guy.”
He stands from the sofa, pacing the living room. “I roomed with that motherfucker on every road trip in college. He looked me in the eye and told me he loved you all the while he was screwing you over. I trusted him. And now he’s using me. He thinks I’m going to help him get a job in this city?” A condescending laugh escapes him. “Fat fucking chance.”
“Well, if it helps you feel better, I think Zanders already took care of that.”
Ryan pivots towards me, studying me. “Good.” He takes a deep breath, settling back on the couch. “Is there anything else? You may as well spill it all because I’m cutting ties with that piece of shit.”
Biting my lip, I hesitate laying it all out there, but complete and utter honesty feels real good. Zanders has had the right idea all along.
“There was a game towards the end of your senior year. I was waiting for you outside the back entrance for the locker room, but I didn’t know you were out on the court getting interviewed. It was the day Brett got an invitation to training camp.”
Ryan nods, seeming to remember precisely the game I’m referring to.
“That was the last day I talked to him because that was the day it all clicked. He told the boys, and I quote, ‘Do you know the quality of women that are about to throw themselves at me? You think I’m going to stay with Shay’s sister when I have better options?’”
“He said that?” Ryan’s lips purse in a scowl.
“Word for word. Trust me, it’s been ingrained in my brain ever since.”
“And you didn’t tell me because you didn’t want me to go away for murder, is that it?”
A laugh heaves in my chest. “Partly.”
“Vee…”
“I don’t know, Ryan. Things have been different since you got drafted. It’s not your fault, but I never compared our successes when we were younger. Then in college, it became a bit more obvious that I was there because you had a full ride. And when you went pro, it’s like we were on two completely different tracks in life. You’ve accomplished these insanely amazing goals, and I’m just…a flight attendant. You have so much on your plate, and you’re ridiculously impressive, and I didn’t want to be the annoying sister that needed more help because her boyfriend sucked.”
Ryan’s head drops down between his shoulders before he looks back up, his blue-green eyes a bit glossy. “You think that?”
I shyly pop my shoulders.
“Vee, you’re my best friend and my favorite person on this entire planet. I’ve never once compared us, not once. I’m so impressed by you every single day. For doing the things you love, for not staying in Tennessee and settling for the first guy you met like so many of the people we grew up with did.” He pauses. “For not doing the things Mom expected you to do.”
My eyes dart to his and I have to bite my lip to keep it from trembling.
“I’ve never wanted you to feel like you’re in my shadow, Stevie, because that’s just not fucking true. I wanted you at UNC with me because you’re my best friend. I wanted you in Chicago because you’re my best friend. I make enough money to have you here, but that’s not me feeling burdened or shit like that. That’s me being selfish, wanting my sister in my city and having the means to do so.”
He nudges me with his foot again. “Don’t keep things from me anymore. I’m going to have your back no matter what.”
A grateful smile slides across my lips. “Love you, Ry.”
“Love you.” He begins to unwrap the ice on his shoulder. “Anything else you wanna throw out there? I’m all ears.”
“Yes,” I surprise myself by admitting.
“Mom stuff?”
My chest rises with a deep inhale. “Yes.”
“Tell me.”
“You don’t have to agree with me, and I don’t expect you to pick sides or anything like that, but I just want to let you know that I’m creating some boundaries, and currently, I have no desire to speak to her. Not until she can do it without her underhanded comments.”
“It’s really that serious?” he gently asks. “I know you always say things about Mom being a mean girl, but I thought it was just a weird mom and daughter dynamic.”
“Honestly, Ryan. She does it when you don’t hear, and she rarely does it around Dad anymore, but she’s made me feel like absolute shit since college. She comments on my body and volunteering and my lack of a relationship all the time, and I can’t do it anymore. Our relationship has done a massive number on the way I think about myself, and I have to start standing up for myself.”
A soft, understanding grin slides across his lips. “Lack of relationship? You haven’t told her about Zanders, huh?”
“Hell no. Anything important to me now, I keep away from her.”
“He’s important to you.”
“Yes. Besides you, Zanders is the most important to me.”
A moment of silence lingers between us, understanding covering my brother’s face.
“I’m not trying to put you in the middle of it, but I’m just letting you know that when she calls or visits, I will not be here for that.”
“Then she won’t visit,” my brother plainly states.
“What?”
“She won’t visit. She’s not invited here. This is your home too, Stevie, and anyone who makes you feel shitty about yourself is not invited into our home or in our lives. I’m not okay with that.”
“Ryan, you don’t need to cut her off because of me. That’s not what I’m asking.”
“I know. And I’m not cutting her off, but like you, I’m creating boundaries. Once you’re comfortable with her again, if ever, then she can be in our space, but until then, no.”
“You’d do that for me?”
“Of course.” He shakes his head. “I don’t know what else I need to say to convince you that I have your back. And that includes your relationship with Mom. It’s perfectly okay to create boundaries when someone isn’t treating you the right way.”
My shoulders sag. Why did I not trust my own brother to understand me all these years? But at the same time, I didn’t trust myself enough to stand up for what I needed.
“Thank you.”
He leans back on the couch, casually crossing one ankle over his knee. “So, Zanders,” he begins. “I can only assume the confidence to stand up to Mom is coming from him.”
“He makes me feel really good, Ryan. He treats me like his first choice every day, and I’ve never had that. He constantly reminds me that I’m…I don’t know…that I’m worthy of being chosen.”
A soft laugh rumbles in his chest. “And here I thought I was going to hate the guy.”
“So, you don’t hate him?”
“How could I? He’s had your back the way I should’ve. I don’t know him, but from what you’ve told me, maybe I had the wrong impression of him all along.”
“You did.” I quickly nod. “Everyone does.”
The buzzer on our door rings as our doorman’s voice wafts through our apartment. “Miss Shay, there’s an Indy in the lobby. Says she’s your friend.”
My brows furrow in confusion. Indy knows I’m spending the weekend with my brother, and she couldn’t wait to get home to Alex. So why the hell is she here?
As soon as she steps off the elevator, it becomes perfectly clear. Her brown eyes are swollen and puffy, steaks of dried mascara decorate her cheeks, and her naturally sun-kissed blonde hair is a tangled mess. She’s not in her uniform, but it’s clear from her face she’s still in last night’s makeup.
“Indy? What’s going on?” I usher her through my door.
“I’m so sorry for interrupting your weekend with your brother,” she cries. “I didn’t know where else to go. My parents are in Florida looking at retirement properties, and I can’t go to my apartment.”
I wrap her up in a hug, her tall and thin frame melting into me. “You don’t need to apologize,” I soothe. “What’s going on?”
She sucks in a few short and broken breaths. “I found Alex with someone else.”
I pull her away from my body. “What?”
She frantically nods. “Last night. When we landed early, I was trying to surprise him, but I found him in bed with someone else.”
“Indy.” My head tilts with sympathy. “I’m so sorry. He’s a piece of shit.”
“I know!” She throws her hands up. “I’ve been so good to him for six years, and we’ve known each other our whole lives. How could he do this to me?”
“Come here.” I usher her to the couch. “Where did you stay last night?”
“In my car,” she whimpers. “I grabbed what I could out of our apartment and drove to my parents’ place before I remembered they were out of town.”
“Oh, Indy.” I run a soothing palm down her arm as she frantically wipes her face, trying to regain her composure.
“Can I stay here?” She sucks in a deep inhale. “Only for the night? Until my parents are back?”
“Of course.” My head darts to my shirtless brother in the kitchen. “Ryan, Indy is going to stay with us for the night.”
Indy’s eyes follow mine, finding my brother. She quickly cleans up her face. “Who are you?”
“Um…I’m Ryan.” He offers her an awkward wave. This has got to be uncomfortable for him, having a random crying girl in his living room, not to mention he’s shirtless right now.
“Why? Who?” Indy turns towards me then back to my brother. “Why are you hot?”
That causes a relieved laugh to escape me, but my brother awkwardly chokes on his saliva in response.
“Indy, this is my twin brother, Ryan. Ryan, Indy.”
“Jesus,” she huffs out. “What kind of voodoo did your parents do while you two were in the womb for you to both be so attractive?”
“I’m going to put a shirt on.” Ryan’s quick strides take him to his room.
“Are you okay?” I turn back to my friend.
“No,” she honestly admits. “I’m not okay, and I don’t know that I will be for a while. I’m sorry to come here like this, but I had no idea where else to go.”
“Stop apologizing. You’re my friend. Of course, you should be here.”
“I need a single girls’ night out. I need vodka and dancing. You and I, tonight.” She sits up straighter with excitement, even though her pretty face is stained with old makeup. “Single girls’ night in Chicago.”
“Well.” I slowly nod my head. “You see. About that. The thing is…”
Indy’s brows are pinched in confusion, waiting for me to get to the point.
“The thing is, I can’t exactly have a single girls’ night because I’m not single.”
“Excuse me, what?”
“I’m not single,” I repeat a little slower this time.
“Yeah, babe. I heard you, but I need an explanation.”
“I have a boyfriend,” I say with caution, speaking to the girl who just lost hers after six years.
“If he’s not a giant hockey defenseman who drools over you every single flight, I don’t want to hear about it.”
A knowing smile slides across my lips. “He’s a giant hockey defenseman who drools over me every flight.”
“Shut up!” Indy lights up, looking like a completely different woman than the one who walked in here. “You and Zanders are together? Officially?”
“Yeah.” I release a content and happy sigh. “That arrogant ass is my boyfriend.”
“Oh my God! Yes! I love this! I love this for you. I love this for him. Shit, I love this for me! I don’t know who I’m more jealous of. This is amazing, Stevie.”
I try to hold back my smile, especially with Indy’s current relationship situation, but I can’t.
“Are you happy?” she softly asks.
“So happy,” I admit. “But that feels like a shitty thing to say right now.”
“Stop.” Indy brushes me away. “Just because my relationship went up in flames last night doesn’t mean we shouldn’t celebrate yours. Okay, no girls’ night out. Girls’ night in. Movies and ice cream and whatever else girlfriends do on a Saturday night.”
“Ryan will be home. Is that okay?”
“Sure.” She pops her shoulder. “What girls’ night is complete without a little eye candy?”
“Gross.”
