I’m having an out-of-body experience. Either that or I’ve died and I’m looking down at my life unraveling before my eyes. My heart is beating so fast it feels as if it’s going to come out of my chest. Even breathing feels like an elephant is sitting on me. The linen vest feels like it’s too tight on my body. I swear I am now hearing buzzing noises from my ears. I listen to Jenna ask her for her name.
The minute she says her name, it’s as if the angels sing. It’s crazy, right? It’s totally out of left field but it’s as if that name settles me. “Avery,” I say her name, but not in my head and more of a whisper than anything else. My eyes never leave her. “That’s a beautiful name.” Avery looks up at me, and I swear to God, it’s like looking into my eyes. What the fuck is going on right now? She smiles at me, a smile that is half her mother and half mine. I feel like I’ve been kicked in the stomach. Scratch that, I feel like I’ve been kicked in the balls and then my stomach. I look at her and then at Addison, who looks like she’s going to pass out. Her face is white, like she’s seen a ghost, and I guess seeing me after five years is just like that.
“That’s a pretty dress,” Jenna says from beside me as she smiles at Avery, and I look over at her. For a second, I forgot she was even here. I look back at Addison, whose eyes are on Jenna’s hand gripping my arm.
“Um,” Sofia says, “Addison, this is Stefano.” She blinks her eyes a million times a minute. “And his girlfriend.” She looks at Jenna, waiting for her to fill her in because that is how much I’ve discussed her to anyone.
“Jenna,” she says, smiling at them.
“Nice to meet you both,” Addison replies, avoiding looking at me as she glances over at Sofia. They share a look and Sofia just nods at her silently and grabs her hand.
“I hate to kick you guys out, but I need to get dressed.” Sofia turns to Addison and asks her, “Is it time for me to get dressed?” Addison doesn’t say anything and just nods her head yes. She then looks back at me and down at my hand. “Is that for me?”
I hold up the box. “Yeah. This is from Matty.”
“Thank you.” She grabs the box from me and I stand here for longer than I need to, looking at Addison and then back down at Avery, afraid to walk out of the room, and then Sofia leaves. Avery smiles at me as she leans into Addison.
“I’ll see you out there,” I say to Avery before turning and walking out of the door. The door closes behind me with a click, and I immediately want to turn around and go back in there.
“That was so weird,” Jenna observes, looking at the commotion going on around us. I look up at the sky, trying not to freak the fuck out right now. “Why don’t we go and get a drink?” she suggests to me, walking over and wrapping her arms around my neck, and I have the sudden need to step away from her.
“You go, I’ll meet you there,” I tell her.
“I don’t want to go alone.” She sings out her words. “I want to go with you. Why can’t you come with me?”
“I have to go see if Matty needs anything,” I say, trying not to sound irritated by her nagging, but I also feel a headache coming on. “You knew this coming here,” I remind her. “You were the one who said it would be like you weren’t even here.”
“Fine,” she huffs, her arms falling from my neck. “I’ll go and get a drink and then save you a seat next to me.” She smiles. “I might even save you a dance,” she flirts, right before she walks away from me. I turn and look back at the door, wanting to storm back in there, but also not wanting to make a scene at the wedding.
I watch her make her way to the barn before I hightail it back over to the groom’s house. I run up the steps and into the house, seeing it’s Matty, Stone, and my other cousin Christopher, sitting down all drinking a beer. “Holy shit, are you okay?” Stone asks me when I walk in. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” The two of them are dressed exactly like me, Matty is the only one without the vest but with a jacket instead.
I walk over and fall into the chair before my legs literally give out on me. “I think I did,” I mumble and then look at Matty, who is just staring at me.
“Did you deliver the gift?” he asks me, sitting up, nervous I didn’t deliver the gift.
“I did,” I inform him. “Who is planning your wedding?” The question comes out without me even thinking twice, which is not normal for me. I always, always make a plan before I have any discussion with anyone.
“Clarabella, Presley, and Shelby,” he replies, leaning back in the chair, taking a pull of his beer, “they work together.”
“Who is Addison to Sofia?” I ask him, trying not to seem like I’m prying or even seeming like I would care who she is. But he doesn’t answer me. Instead, he just glares at me.
“Off-limits,” he grouses between clenched teeth. “She’s a single mom.” He tells me something I already know. “Don’t even think about it.”
“Aren’t you here with a girl?” Stone laughs as he asks me the question.
“Didn’t you just start dating her also?” Christopher follows up with his own question.
All I can do is ignore them. “How old is Avery?” I ask him, even though I know deep down inside me she’s mine. I can’t explain it, but I know. I knew the minute I locked eyes on her, she was mine.
“I have no idea, four… five… six.” He shrugs.
“Have you met her little girl?” I ask him, and his glare gets even more intense.
“Are you fucking kidding me right now? You want to do this at my wedding?” he shouts and Christopher and Stone try not to laugh at his tone.
“I’m not doing anything,” I say, my leg shaking up and down with nerves. “I’m just asking who they are. I just met them.”
“Sofia usually has them over when I’m on the road,” Matty shares. “I’ve seen Avery a couple of times, here and there.”
“Is she dating anyone?” Christopher asks, and now I’m glaring at him.
“Listen.” Matty stands up. “None of you perverts are allowed to make a play for her.” He points at all three of us, and I throw in if the other two even try it, I’m going to throat punch them before they even get a word out. Actually, if they even think it, I’ll hurt them.
“Relax there,” Stone assures. “I’m already spoken for.”
Christopher laughs at that. “Does she even know you exist?”
“Oh, she knows,” Stone says with a smirk, and I’m happy they are talking about something else besides Addison.
The door opens and my uncle Viktor comes in. “It’s time.” Matty stands up and puts the beer down on the table in front of him. “She’s coming out now?”
“No, God no,” Viktor says, “but the photographer wants to take pictures with us and all of that.”
“And considering there are a million of us, it’s like herding cats,” Christopher announces, finishing off his beer.
“They need a lot of time.” Stone gets up and slaps Matty on the shoulder. “Getting married.”
“It’s great,” he states, “you should try it.”
“She doesn’t even want to date him, how is he going to marry her?” Christopher laughs while Stone glares at him.
“I mean, Uncle Matthew handcuffed Aunt Karrie to the bed,” Viktor reminds us, and the three of us literally groan.
“What is wrong with you people?” Matty says. “It’s my wedding day; can we not talk about my aunt and uncle having sex?”
“I didn’t say they had sex,” Viktor defends. “You guys are perverts and your minds just went there.”
“How could it not?” Stone shakes his head and walks to the door. “Why else would you use handcuffs?”
“You should see if you can borrow them,” Christopher tells him, “maybe, then Ryleigh will give you the time of day.”
Stone just flips him the bird. “Can we not anger Romeo by talking about his sister dating Stone?” Matty pleads between clenched teeth.
“They aren’t dating,” Christopher says right before walking out the door. “I think she said, ‘when donkeys help pigs fly.’”
“She changed her tune.” Stone says winking at us.
“Can we just not mess up my wedding?” Matty asks as we walk out of the house.
“No one is going to mess up your wedding,” I reassure him, looking at the house that I want to go back to. Instead, I look over to the side, seeing my family starting to get together.
I start walking to them when I turn to the side and see my father walking toward me. He’s wearing a light-blue suit without a tie. His aviator glasses cover his eyes, but with his face going into a huge smile, I know his eyes are a light brown.
“There he is,” he says when he gets close enough to me as he takes me in a hug. I got my height from my father, for sure. He slaps my back and kisses the side of my head before letting me go. “You look good.”
“You saw me two months ago.” I laugh at him as he puts his arm over my shoulder. “And we FaceTime at least twice a week.”
“It’s different when I see you face-to-face.” He lets his hands drop from my shoulders. “How’ve you been?”
“Okay,” I reply, looking down before I look at him and confess to him what just happened. My father is my biggest supporter. He’s also the one I go to anytime I have a problem, no matter what. Even when I mess up, and there have been times that I’ve messed up, but instead of telling you “I told you so,” he calmly finds a solution. He and my mother couldn’t be more opposite.
“We need to have a conversation after this,” he advises me, and I literally stop in my tracks. Does he know? Did he meet Avery and know? Is he going to kick my ass for having a kid and deserting her? He must sense I’m freaking out. “Nothing bad. I met Jenna,” he says, stopping as he puts his hands in his pockets. “Where did you meet her?” he asks me, and my eyebrows go up. “I’m not judging,” he quickly says, “I’m just wondering where the two of you met?”
I look around and see Avery running in the distance with other kids. My heartbeat picks up, going faster and faster, and it was already going faster than normal. “It’s nothing,” I tell my father, because after today, the only thing that will matter to me is my daughter. Which is a strange thought since I don’t think I’ve ever seen myself with a child. I mean, I knew I wanted to get married and start a family, but I never, ever pictured myself with a child. Especially one that was so beautiful like she is. “I need to tell you something,” I start and then look over to see Matty posing for pictures. “But not here,” I say, not willing to ruin his day, “but tomorrow.”
“Is everything okay?” he asks, the worry filling his voice. I just nod my head because I don’t trust myself to say anything with the lump filling my throat. “Okay,” he agrees, “tomorrow.”
He slaps my shoulder before he walks away, leaving me standing in the middle of the field. My eyes are on my family on one side and my daughter on the other. “Tomorrow,” I repeat before I make my way to my family.
