I watch Addison walk away at the same time I feel Jenna pull my arm down. “I love that dress,” she says of Sofia’s dress as the couple walks down the aisle in front of us. Matty’s smile is so big on his face that nothing, and I mean nothing, could wipe it away. Fuck, what it feels like to be that in love, I will never know.
I look back down the aisle toward the altar and see the boys walking down with the girls behind them. My eyes are on Avery as she walks and throws flowers in the air, then twirls. Everyone laughs at her, and I can’t help but feel proud, which is the stupidest thing I have ever thought because all I’ve done for her is have sex with Addison. The best sex of my life, I might add, but it was after that I said no more hookups. I was never going to have another one-night stand.
“Isn’t she cute?” my father says as he laughs at her throwing another petal in the air and trying to catch it coming down.
“She’s beautiful,” I say out loud, but in my head, I also add she’s mine. I can’t help but watch her the whole time. My eyes never leave her as she makes her way down the aisle with the other little girls. I may be biased, but she really is the most beautiful out of all of them.
“I can’t wait to sit down and eat,” Jenna states as she looks around at people starting to make their way out.
“Um, excusez-moi,” someone says behind me, looking over my shoulder. “Did my son walk in here and not even say bonjour?” My mother mixes the French with English. She pushes my father out of the way and walks to me. She grew up in France and came to the States to go to school. She fell in love with New York and decided to stay. She was a serial dater, so much so that she created a blog and then had her very own column in a magazine. No one knew it was her until she met and fell in love with my father. Then the serial dater became the serial mom, which grew even more. She went from saying she wasn’t ever going to get married to having four children and pushing for everyone to get married.
“Maman,” I say in French, walking to her and bending to kiss her cheeks and give her a hug.
“Mon beau garçon.” My handsome boy, she says. “Comment vas-tu?” How are you? She smiles up at me. Her dark-blue eyes light up when she puts her hand on my chest. “Ça va bien oui?” It’s going good, right?
“Oui. Ça va.” It’s good, I tell her.
“Tu as l’air fatigué.” You look tired, she tells me.
“I’m good,” I reply, avoiding looking in her eyes. Something about being a parent, they know right away when something is amiss. It used to always amaze me when it happened. “Have you met Jenna?” I ask her, looking toward Jenna to change her thoughts.
“Bien sûre.” Of course, she says and puts on her fake smile. Trust me, I know her fake smile. Once, when I was ten or twelve, she threatened to beat my ass in French with a smile on her face, and everyone thought she was praising me. She was not.
“Who is ready for a drink?” my uncle Matthew says, clapping me on the shoulder. “You look like you need a drink,” he tells me.
“What is wrong with everyone? I’m fine,” I retort, as everyone slowly makes their way out. As soon as I step out in the sun, I look around to see if I can spot Addison. “I’ll be right back,” I say and don’t even wait until anyone says anything, and by anyone, I mean Jenna.
I walk toward the barn, hoping like fuck she doesn’t follow me. I’m about to take a step into the barn when my phone beeps in my pocket. Grabbing it and bringing it out, I see an email come in.
I read the tagline as requested and put the phone back in my pocket. I walk into the barn and see a couple of people running around. My eyes roam around the room as I spot her in the corner telling someone something. She points at something and the man just smiles at her. She laughs as he turns and walks away, and I have to clench my hands into fists before I walk to her.
“Addison,” I call her name loud enough for her to hear me. She turns her head toward me, the smile on her face fading as I close the distance between us. She takes a second to look around before she puts her shoulders back.
“Can I help you with something?” she asks me, not walking away from me. The minute I get in front of her, the smell of her brings back all of the memories of that night. As I look at her, I can’t help but think my memories of her are way off base because she is even better than I remembered.
Oh, you can help me with something all right, my head screams as I take her in. Her blond hair is definitely longer than it was the last time. Her brown eyes are also a touch darker than they were. “Can you help me with something?” It comes out harsher than I want it to.
She looks around me and I can see her eyes are doing a scan of the room, nervously. Even her hands begin to shake. “I’m here for work,” she says softly. “I need this job.” The way she says those words, I have to think there is something behind it. It is said with an almost desperation in her voice. I count to ten while I think of what she said, letting her words sit before anything.
I hear voices coming even closer. “Okay, then, how is tomorrow?” I ask her. I don’t know if I’m asking her because regardless of what she says, we are going to have a sit-down tomorrow.
“Um, I guess,” she responds, wringing her hands before she walks over to a side table and picks up her phone. “What’s your number?” she asks me, looking down at the phone the whole time.
I take my phone out of my pocket and press my code to open it. Once it’s open, I click the email icon. I open the email I got before I walked in here. I press the phone number in the email. The phone rings in her hand. “What? How?” she asks shocked, pressing the decline button.
“It’s what I do,” I inform her. “Now, my place or your place?” Even though I don’t have a “my place” right now, but I’m hoping she says her place.
“No,” she snaps. Her voice goes a bit too loud, and heads turn to look our way. “Neither.”
“Fine, we’ll meet at a neutral space,” I tell her, not wanting her to get in trouble or lose her job.
“I leave tomorrow to go back home,” she says softly, her voice almost in a whisper.
“I’ll text you, and we can see where we can meet.” I stare at her in the eyes, the same eyes I got lost in that one night.
“Sounds good.” She nods before she looks over my shoulder. “Your girlfriend is looking for you,” she says before she turns and walks away from me. Her dress swishes from right to left as she quickly exits the room to go to the back somewhere.
“Hey,” Jenna says as she comes and puts her arm around my waist. “You ran off.”
“Yeah, I was looking for the bathroom.” I say the first thing that comes to my mind, and it sounds like a bunch of bullshit.
“Oh, where is it?” she asks me.
“I got sidetracked talking to one of my cousins,” I fib to her and spot a server walking around. “Can you tell me where the restroom is?”
“Through those doors.” He points at the doors off to the side. “I can show you.”
Jenna smiles at me before she turns and follows the guy out of the room. I let out a huge breath that I was somehow holding. “I need a drink,” I admit to myself as I turn to walk and then see Avery running in my direction. Her laughter is infectious, and I could listen to it for the rest of my life.
“Hey,” I greet, squatting down in front of her. Her little hand pushes her hair away from her face as she pants from running. “If it isn’t Princess Avery,” I say, and she smiles. “How old are you, Avery?” I ask her, even though I know the answer, but just to make sure I’m not dreaming it.
“I’m four,” she states, holding up her whole hand as she tries to bend her thumb in, making me laugh.
“Who is your little friend?” My father shocks me when he walks up beside me.
“This is Avery,” I tell him. He looks down at her, and then he looks back at me. He does it so fast it’s like he got whiplash.
“Um…” he starts, but his voice trails off. His whole face is filled with all the questions that I have myself.
“Not now,” I tell him.
Avery looks at my father, unaware of what’s going on around her. “I’m a princess today,” she announces, holding the side of her dress while she twirls on one foot.
I swear I see a tear in my father’s eye. “You are the most beautiful princess I’ve ever seen,” my father compliments softly, squatting beside me to get a better look at her.
“Okay, bye,” she says right before turning around and rushing back to the kids she was running with.
“What the fuck is going on?” my father grits between clenched teeth, his voice very, very low. The both of us still squatting down.
“Um…” I start to say because I have no idea what the fuck to say. Not sure he would like, “I just ran into the girl I had a one-night stand with, and I have a daughter.” In fact, he would probably kick my ass from here to outside the universe.
“Either I need to get my eyes checked or…” he says, pointing at Avery.
“Not here,” I say, getting up.
“Then I suggest you walk out with me.” His voice is tight, and I can see that if I don’t go with him, he’s going to grab me by my neck and drag me out of here, just like he did when I was younger.
I nod at him as we pass everyone chattering and enjoying the wedding. Some have even decided to go and sit down at a table.
We walk out of the barn and go toward the groom’s house where we got ready at before. Away from the noise. When we get close enough, he turns around. “Care to tell me what the fuck is going on?” My father, who is usually cool, calm, and collected, sounds like he’s about to freak the fuck out.
“I just found out,” I tell him, my heart speeding up as I run my hand through my hair and then hold my neck.
“What do you mean, you just found out?” He glares at me.
I think about lying for about one point two seconds but know I can’t, not with him. If anything, I’m going to need all of his help. “We had one night together,” I finally say.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” He throws up his hands. Yup, exactly how I thought it would go.
“I literally just found her today,” I tell him, shaking my head. If this were anyone else, I would be laughing at the whole situation, but now that I’m in it, it’s no laughing matter. “When I went into the bride’s suite, she was just as surprised to see me, and then Avery came in, and I was shocked. I had no idea what the hell was going on.”
“Well, what about Avery?” He says her name with a softness to his voice.
“All I know is she’s four, and she wants to be a princess.” I smile. “And she likes to twirl.” My chest fills up. “And she’s fucking perfect,” I say, knowing three things about her.
“This is a big deal, Stefano.” His tone is softer now.
“You think I don’t know that, Dad?” My voice rises. I’ve always been in control of everything. I’ve always been cool, calm, and collected, something I got from my dad. I treat everything like it’s a chess game. I sit down, patiently waiting for the next move, already having my opponent’s move in my head so I can come in and steal the king. But this situation is pushing me to the edge of the cliff, and I feel like I’m hanging on by the tips of my fingers.
“This isn’t just a deal that you can go in, sweep up, and then leave when you’re done.” He makes sure I’m looking at him while he says it. As if my saying I have a daughter hasn’t cemented the situation in my brain.
“Dad, I get it.” I’m frustrated because I do get it, and there are questions I didn’t even think of.
“You don’t even own a house.” He points out another reason that I am not ready for this. “You live in hotels.”
“I have a condo.” I roll my eyes at him.
“I have a condo.” He points at himself. “That I let you stay in.”
“I thought you said I get it when you die.” I try to crack a joke to ease the nerves.
“Stefano,” he hisses.
“Dad, I got it,” I say, my voice tight. “Trust me, I fucking got it. I’m not ready to be a father. I don’t have a house. I don’t know what to do with a kid.” I look back at the barn and see Avery standing, holding Addison’s hand as they talk to Sofia and Matty. “I got it,” I repeat softly, knowing that I really don’t have it. “If I don’t, I’m going to get it.”
