“But I’m hungry…”
The faint whisper penetrated my foggy mind. Pain throbbed in my skull, steady and insistent. I wanted to drift to sleep again, but I heard Liam’s solemn answer.
“Mimi’s head hurts.”
At five, Liam knew the power of my pain. In the past, Blake had used it to gain my obedience. It worked just as effectively as threatening the boys.
“It’s okay, buddy,” I mumbled lifting my head. I pretended it didn’t feel like it would fall off. “I’m hungry, too.” I blinked, and it took a moment to focus.
They stood beside the bed already dressed in swim trunks. I wondered if we would still go to the lake after yesterday’s discord.
I pulled back the covers and stumbled from the bed. Aden backed up, giving me space, and held up my swimsuit. I smiled shakily and took it from him, unable to disappoint him.
“I’ll change after we eat, okay?” He nodded and led the way to the kitchen. When he turned the corner, I tossed the suit over my shoulder, not caring where it landed as long as he didn’t notice.
In the kitchen, I opened cupboards only to stare at their empty cavities. The refrigerator equally disappointed me. I looked at the boys. We would need to beg from our neighbors again. I hoped that Nana and Jim had worked out their differences yesterday and there wouldn’t be any lingering tension.
Forgetting about personal hygiene, I shuffled to the door. The boys followed. I heard Aden’s stomach growl.
“We’ll see if Emmitt has some food. ‘K?” He had been the coolheaded one of the bunch yesterday.
The stairs challenged me, and I needed to grip the railing to keep my balance. I rolled my shoulders, subconsciously trying to ease the pain. Liam moved beside me and held my other hand. I tried smiling again and gave his hand a light squeeze.
Before the end of the day, I would be babbling and crying. I needed to get rid of the information.
Emmitt stood at the bottom of the steps, waiting for us. He tilted his head slightly as he monitored our slow progress. The concern from yesterday crept back into his eyes.
When we reached the bottom, he stepped forward and gently touched my forehead. He pulled his hand back before I could lean into the comfort of it. His light touch, though brief, lingered on my skin.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Just a headache,” I said clutching the railing.
Liam stayed beside me, but Aden stepped forward, craning his neck to meet Emmitt’s eyes.
“I’m hungry,” he said with quiet uncertainty.
Emmitt smiled down at him. “Of course you are. You skipped your supper. Would you like some pancakes?”
Aden nodded enthusiastically and reached up to hold Emmitt’s hand. I looked at their joined hands, and my heart ached for Aden. He obviously wanted a man in his life who could care about him. I empathized.
“Would you like some aspirin or something?” Emmitt asked as Aden tugged him toward Jim’s apartment.
I shook my head—very gently—and followed them, still holding Liam’s hand. Jim stood at the stove, cooking. When he glanced back at us, he caught my eye and winked. Had my head not hurt, I would have smiled. Whatever happened after we left yesterday hadn’t changed Jim’s mood.
The smell of the grilling pancakes turned my stomach, but I sat with the boys at Jim’s kitchen island. Emmitt nudged Jim to the side while talking to the boys.
“If you add a big scoop of batter in the middle,” he turned slightly to show Liam, “and add two smaller scoops to the top on each side, do you see what we can make?” Liam shook his head, and Emmitt’s lips twitched in a smile. “No? Well, we’ll see if you can guess it when we’re done.”
We all watched Emmitt reach into the refrigerator and pull out the can of whipped cream. He set it on the counter in front of Liam then turned to flip the pancake. He let it in the pan for another minute before he put it on a plate.
“Ready, Liam?”
Liam nodded, and Emmitt uncapped the can. Within seconds of applying the cream, Liam began giggling.
“Know what this is, yet?” Emmitt asked tilting his head to look at his creation.
Aden laughed with Liam. For a split second, it’d looked like a famous mouse, but then the heat of the pancake had melted the cream so it looked more like a bear with a grimace.
“Well, that didn’t work so well,” Emmitt said, sliding the plate toward Liam. “Try a bite and let me know if it tastes better than it looks. I’ll start another one for your brother and sister.”
I struggled to swallow down the bile that rose at the thought of eating. Sliding back, I nudged Aden off my lap and onto the stool then quietly excused myself.
I escaped outside into the fresh air. On the porch, I leaned against the column near the stairs and looked out at the yard. A warm, early morning breeze swept away the smell of cooking food, easing my stomach but not my head. My eyes watered with the increasing pain.
Inside, a phone rang. The sound chipped at my skull. Thankfully, Nana answered on the second ring.
Emmitt came out to stand next to me. “Liam said your head really hurts. Are you sure I can’t get you something?”
Liam didn’t understand the cause, only the level of pain I endured.
“No, I’m fine.” I didn’t move.
I could hear Nana’s conversation. “Sam, I don’t know any better than you do. I thought all you did was research the trends, read financial reports, and watch for promising growth opportunities. When I read the paper, I look at the funnies. Now that I can help you with…”
My ears perked up.
Emmitt moved down to the step in front of me, bringing him closer to eye level as he faced me. “If not aspirin maybe Nana has something that could help.”
I shushed him and turned slightly to look at Nana’s window, fully listening. He tilted his head, watching me.
Nana rattled off four characters, paused, and said four more. “Just pick?” she questioned the person at the other end.
“Pick the first one,” I said over the pain. Emmitt’s eyes widened slightly at my volume. I could barely hear myself over the thumping in my head. The information spilled from my mouth. “Ride for a one point six increase then drop it.”
The pain abruptly disappeared, and I sighed before I could catch myself. Emmitt still watched me, his expression carefully blank. His striking, dark blue eyes saw too much. My pulse picked up as I noticed details my headache had obscured. His damp hair. How close he stood. The concern still in his eyes.
In the background, I heard Nana repeat my recommendation and wanted to cringe. Instead, I forced my face to relax, keeping it blank. How could I have been so stupid? So obvious?
Emmitt’s calm gaze gave nothing away. “We were still thinking of going to the lake after breakfast. Nana went for groceries this morning. Will you come with?”
I nodded slowly, waiting for what would come next. Questions I couldn’t…wouldn’t…answer. But he didn’t say anything about my headache or spontaneous yelling.
Instead, he nodded at my clothes. “You might want to change.”
I looked down at myself and winced. I still wore lounge pants and a baggy t-shirt. Fuzz coated my teeth. A blush crept into my cheeks as I looked up at him again. Amusement twinkled in his eyes.
Driving to the lake posed a bit of a problem. My truck, technically, fit three; Nana’s cute car fit four; Jim apparently didn’t own a vehicle; and Emmitt had his bike. Clearly, I didn’t want to drive, which meant tagging along with someone else. Jim suggested we leave the truck because it drank gas and go with the motorcycle and car. Everyone looked at me, and I didn’t immediately understand why.
Nana spoke up. “It would be safest if the kids rode in the car. That leaves the front seat open for someone while the other two follow on the motorcycle.”
Oh. I looked at Emmitt and Jim. Well, I couldn’t see them riding together. Jim had a smirk on his face as he watched me have my epiphany. It would serve him right if I insisted on driving with the kids. I shifted my attention to Emmitt’s ever-watchful gaze. He hadn’t questioned me when I acted weird before. I owed him. The thought of being so close set my stomach twisting and jumping.
“Do I need to go change, again?” I wore shorts over my swim bottoms and a t-shirt over the top. Sandals covered my feet.
“No,” he assured me. “You’ll be completely safe.”
I didn’t contradict him but knew differently. Not about the bike but about the stupidity of going to the lake or anywhere public now that my headache was gone. However, after agreeing to it and my weird behavior this morning, I didn’t think there was a way to back out quietly.
Mentally sighing, I smiled slightly at my brothers who excitedly spoke to Jim. If our freedom was limited, I couldn’t rob them of today’s adventure. The problem of Blake would still be there after the lake.
I helped the boys buckle in and told them I would follow them. They didn’t seem to care as they began to pepper Nana and Jim, who had already claimed his spot in the front seat, with questions about sand castles, swimming, and picnics. This whole experience would be new to them.
Emmitt waited for me by the bike. He sat first and held it steady while he pointed out where I should place my foot to swing my leg over. He didn’t say anything about where to put my hands once I was on, though, and my palms started to sweat. I mounted quickly without touching him and landed with a thump that bounced the bike slightly. I mumbled an apology and reached behind me to hold on to the bar back there, not completely comfortable with wrapping my arms around him. My stomach dipped in disappointment. Stupid thing wouldn’t settle down around Emmitt. Just another reason not to get too close to him. I wasn’t sure how I’d really react.
Nana’s car pulled out, but Emmitt didn’t start the bike. Instead, he turned to look at me. “Are you sure you can hold on like that?”
I nodded, blushing, not meeting his gaze.
He hesitated, opened his mouth as if he would say something more, then turned around. He slid sunglasses on and handed me a pair. I would have rather had a helmet. I loosened my hold briefly to put on the sunglasses. The engine purred awake, and he eased the bike forward.
Nana waited at the end of the driveway. When we approached, she turned right, and Emmitt smoothly did the same.
I discovered a love for motorcycles. The wind whipped my hair in my face with stinging lashes, and bugs occasionally hit my shins with brief piercing bites. But, I learned to crouch a little and tuck myself closer to Emmitt, who shielded me from the wind and bugs. By doing so, I could revel in the freedom of the open ride.
At the first stop sign, I asked Emmitt to wait and struggled to braid my hair quickly. Knots and tangles slowed my progress. When I finished, I tucked it into the back of my shirt and told him to go. The car had already disappeared.
He pulled away smoothly and sped up, quickly catching up to them. Jim held something out the window—a camera—and Emmitt nodded. He twisted the throttle slightly and pulled around the car. I looked over in time to see two grinning boys in the back, cheering, and a bright flash from the front seat.
Emmitt pulled ahead, taking the lead.
A few minutes later, we turned onto another gravel lane, much nicer than their driveway, and followed its length to a sun-speckled body of water. A sandy beach lined the shore beyond the empty parking area. Seeing the vacant lot, I felt relieved that I’d offloaded my ticker information before arriving.
Emmitt pulled to a stop. I quickly hopped off and stood on shaky legs as I waited for the boys.
“Did you like it?” Emmitt asked, studying me.
I nodded. Far too much.
After testing the chilly, clear water, I chose to sit on the blanket Nana had spread on the sand. It was the perfect spot to keep an eye on the boys. Jim and Emmitt didn’t hesitate to join my brothers in the water. I overheard Emmitt explaining the game of chicken to Liam. He had Aden’s attention, too.
The sunglasses hid my wandering eyes as I watched water run down Emmitt’s chest. I rationalized away my guilt over my pathetic eye groping. After all, Blake could catch me at any moment and shove me back into my prison. Was it so bad to create a few happy memories before that happened? My tiny, rational voice insisted it was, and that I shouldn’t be wasting mental resources gazing at Emmitt’s beautifully sculpted and glistening chest; I should be trying to think of a way to be free of Blake permanently. I shushed that voice.
Nana reclined next to me, reading and occasionally flicking a glance at the water antics. When she offered me a magazine, I took it to further disguise my growing fascination with Emmitt’s water-coated torso.
Despite the sunglasses and magazine, Emmitt always seemed to look up when I drifted from idle ogling to fully immersed fantasy. My telling blush would cause him to flash a small, knowing smile which tweaked his dimple and set off a firecracker in my stomach.
Before the sun started to set, we packed up. When Emmitt mounted the motorcycle, he offered his hand to help me, but I ignored it. I didn’t do it to be rude. I’d spent a good portion of the day mentally drooling and didn’t think physical contact would be in my best interest. Still, I enjoyed the ride back as much as I had the ride to the lake. Maybe more…
Nana went into the apartment to make dinner while I brought the boys upstairs to change. Emmitt and Jim promised to have the fireworks ready by the time we returned. I slipped into a pair of cotton shorts and a tank top and had the boys do the same.
The boys raced ahead of me down the stairs. When I reached the door, they already stood in the darkened expanse of grass with Jim. Each held sparklers and drew designs in the air. Nana sat on the porch steps, watching their pretty patterns.
Emmitt waited by the bottom step. The two sparklers he held illuminated his face. A hint of a smile tickled his lips as our eyes met, and he drew me in with his dark-eyed focus. When I stepped down, he handed me a sparkler. Our hands brushed. With that contact, I left the real world behind.
A very young girl dressed in lounge pants and a loose top, sat cross-legged in a spot of sunlight on a living room floor. At first glance, she appeared twelve, but as I watched her move, I guessed she was closer to her late teens than her early teens.
So many open books littered the brown area rug under her that they surrounded her in an almost complete circle. She removed one from her lap and set it on top of another open book. Turning slightly, she pulled a new one into her lap and leafed through the pages. She kept her ash blonde head bent over the text, intently studying it as she took notes in a spiral notebook also resting in her lap.
I looked out the window to try to see where we were. Oddly, despite the sunlight, the other side of the street lay shrouded in mist. I could only see as far as the curb bordering her front yard. Turning back, I tried to look for anything else that might help me figure out who she was.
Next to her lay a huge dog. Its massive head rested on its paws. As I watched, I noticed its gaze on the book set directly in front of it. I looked closer in amazement. Its eyes moved as if it read the words on the page.
Whoever this girl was, she owned an unusual pet. I tried to move closer to get a better look at her partially hidden face, but it felt as if I were wading through mud. I gave up and watched some more. The dog turned to look at the girl who’d been mumbling to herself. It showed its long sharp teeth, not in a menacing way but more of a weird doggy smile. The girl reached over, absently petting him, and he laid his head back down. Whoever she was, she looked peaceful and happy. And so did the dog.
The vision disappeared abruptly.
“Michelle?” Emmitt said, trying to get my attention. His hand still touched mine.
“Sorry,” I whispered in disbelief. “Daydreaming.”
He gave me a funny look but didn’t say anything further.
After years of wishing to have a premonition of something other than the stupid stock market, it had finally happened. And when I had touched Emmitt. Holding the sparkler, I pulled my hand away and moved into the darkness. I wanted to think where his watchful gaze couldn’t observe my every reaction.
The premonition didn’t make much sense. I hadn’t recognized the girl, the room, or the dog. I waited for the premonition to repeat, but it didn’t.
I snuck a peek at Emmitt as he helped Aden light a new sparkler. He remained focused on the task and an abrupt pink glow lit their faces. My heart skipped a beat, and my stomach flipped. Maybe Emmitt was the key. I reacted to him physically every time I saw him.
My sparkler sputtered out, and I wandered back over to the porch to sit next to Nana.
The boys burned through the sparklers then sat on the porch to watch Jim’s small fireworks show. They loved it. Their first Fourth of July ever. And it really meant something. Three days without a sighting. Real freedom.
I watched Emmitt and wondered if I’d found where I was meant to be. But, was it actually safe to stay?
