ELENA
PAIN CAME FIRST, though it was better than before. I opened my eyes. I was in the hospital and everything that had happened flashed through my mind. I found Constance’s face right next to me.
I jolted up. I couldn’t be here. I couldn’t.
“You are safe. Calm down.”
“No, I shouldn’t be here.” No one else besides Constance was here. Why should they be? I’d killed Blake and run away. I started to move, wanting to get off the bed, but my body still ached. They didn’t even want to take the pain away.
“Elena, calm down, you are safe. No one is going to hurt you.”
“They will!” I yelled. Adrenaline washed through my entire body, making my heart beat so fast.
“Who will?”
“The Council, for what I have done. I have to get out of here.” I squirmed and remembered that Blake was her nephew. My eyes found hers.
They pulled down at the corners and the same happened to the curve of her lips. Her eyebrows knitted and tears lingered in her beautiful eyes. Her eyes had the ability to make you calm, and she almost shared the same ability that Blake used to.
I started to cry with her hands still firmly on both my shoulders. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to.” I spoke through sobs. It was so loud and I didn’t want to let anyone know I was here.
“Calm down, please. You are safe. And I swear the Council won’t lay a finger on you.”
“No, they are going to punish me!” I shouted like a lunatic. “They’ve been waiting for something like this, and will take their pound of flesh for what I have done. How can you still be here?”
A tear rolled over her cheek and she nodded to someone behind me.
I turned around and saw a male nurse, one I hadn’t even notice entering my room, taking out a needle from the IV.
My head started to feel drowsy.
“It’s going to be okay. You need to rest.”
No, they can’t keep me here.
“No, no, I have to leave.” I started whimpering as she stroked my head softly and I could feel her pushing me softly back down on the bed.
My head felt heavy, I was so tired.
I had to leave.
BLAKE
SHE HAD BEEN out for two days after Constance gave her something to calm her down. What Constance said didn’t make much sense. She was scared. Thinking that the Council was going to punish her, but for what? I could think of a few things, but how was I going to make her feel safe when she didn’t even trust me? I’d been so mean to her before. She didn’t know this side of me, and I didn’t know how to show her this side without scaring her any further.
Matt came the day after her return, he took statements from the people who had found her, and took samples while she slept. I had to give consent, which was so wrong. They treated her as if she was my property now. I hated that. Matt was still waiting for my statement, but I refused to leave her side.
Discovering that she was the princess, well, it was something we all thought Matt knew by now, but he’d been on a difficult case with no knowledge of what was going on in Paegeia. They had to pull him out of his case for this. Still, he came and he’d stayed with us for the past three days.
When I found her, it felt as if I could breathe again. Even though she looked skinny, bruised up, and manhandled. It made me feel sick again but I held it down. The fact was that she was here where I could see her. Tears welled up in my eyes again, and I didn’t care what she felt toward me, I had to feel if she was real.
I touched her cheek softly and rested my head close to hers. You are going to be fine, I promise, I told her wordlessly.
I’d stayed next to her bed for the past forty-eight hours. I had to be there when she woke. I could never leave her side again, and I would find a way to make sure she knew it wasn’t some stupid spell either. I didn’t know how I was going to fix that, and I only had myself to thank.
“Blake.” My mom entered. Sammy and Becky were sleeping; it was early and all of us had stayed at the hospital. None of them wanted to leave her side. It was as if she had found a small private Council that was never going to let her out of their sight again.
“Matt really needs to speak to you.”
“Mom.”
“Blake, please. It’s the only way he can try to find them.”
I nodded and left with her.
Matt was in the waiting room with my father. He looked up as I entered. “I promise this will only take a few seconds.”
“It’s fine, just take my statement.” I started telling him everything, all the impressions I had gained from the couple who had found her. He scribbled down everything, and when I started describing the smells in detail, he stopped at two and stared at me.
“You are not writing anything.” I sounded angry.
“How many assaulted her, Blake?”
“Seven.”
He took a deep breath and I could see he was starting to understand how all of us were feeling.
He wrote again as I spoke, and I was thankful when he was eventually done. He put his hand on my arm. “I promise you, I won’t rest until I find each and every single one of these fuckers that did this to her.”
“You will do nothing. That is my job, you hear?”
His eyes grew as I made that very clear to him, but he nodded. “Deal.”
Sammy’s sobs entered the hospital and I ran out to see what was going on. I found Becky’s arms around her. “She’ll be fine, she’s going to be fine.”
“She’s so angry. Why is she pushing us away?” Sammy cried.
“Shhhh, calm down. She’s going to be fine.”
“She’s awake?” I asked and they nodded.
“Blake, maybe you shouldn’t.”
“Don’t tell me what to do, Becky,” I said and could hear faint cries coming from inside her room. I opened the door.
ELENA
A couple of minutes earlier….
THE NEXT TIME I woke, Constance wasn’t in my room but Sammy and Becky’s chairs were really close to the bed. Sammy was sleeping with her head on my bed. What is she doing here?
The curtains were closed but I could tell it was daylight.
Becky was sleeping in her chair with her head resting on her hand.
I turned my body sideways to face them both, and the movement woke Sammy. She lifted her head.
“Elena,” she whispered softly but her jaw trembled and her eyes glistened. “You’re awake.” She smiled as a tear rolled over her cheek. “Where were you, we searched everywhere. Do you know how scared I was?”
I started to cry. “You shouldn’t be here. After what I did, I don’t deserve your friendship.”
“Elena!” Becky woke and stood up, bent over and just hugged me.
“Don’t, please.”
“Don’t tell me what to do. Where the hell were you? You know how worried all of us were, not to mention—”
“Just leave, please.”
“Are you insane? We are not going to leave you, ever again. That trip was stupid. We never should have gone.”
Tears flowed over my cheeks.
“Just go, please. Arianna was right. I’m poison. I don’t want you guys to get hurt, please, just go.”
“We are not going, and you are not poisonous, okay?” Becky cupped my face. “Arianna is a bitch.”
“Dammit!” I cried. “What is wrong with you?” I stared at both of them. “I killed him, and nothing will ever bring him back!”
“I know you still miss him, but that wasn’t your fault. Okay?”
“No it was. Just go!”
“No!” she yelled with angry tears too. “I’m not going to leave you, not ever again.”
I cried and she hugged me again. “We should’ve never left that weekend. Dammit, Elena, why did you run?”
“Why? You know why. The Council was waiting for me to fuck up and that was a major fuck-up.”
“What was?” Sammy asked.
“Don’t, please, Sammy. I can’t do this with you right now. You should be angry and not be here.”
“What are you talking about? You’re starting to freak me out. Please, just stop yelling and speak to me!” Sammy shouted.
I was back in the Twilight Zone. They were pretending I hadn’t done anything wrong.
I composed myself. “Just go. I don’t want you here, go!” I yelled at both of them, louder this time, as I jumped from the bed and start pushing them toward the door.
My body was stiff, and I stumbled a few times. The pain was gone, though. I shoved their hands from me as they tried to help, and pushed them toward the door again.
I couldn’t handle their friendliness, caring, whatever it was they did best. I just couldn’t. I didn’t deserve it.
“Elena, calm down!” Becky yelled.
“No, go!”
Constance rushed into the room.
“It’s best if you both go.” She got ahold of both my arms and pulled me away from Becky and Sammy.
Both girls just stared at me, watching me in pity.
“Please, girls. Just go.” Constance tried again
Sammy started to cry and left with Becky on her heels.
“Elena, calm down. They are your friends. They missed you and they want to be close to you. Heaven knows you need everyone now.”
I shook my head. “I don’t. They will die, like he did. I can’t let them die too.” Why didn’t they get this?
“Elena.” Constance tilted her head to the left slightly and squinted softly. “Who are you talking about?”
“What is wrong with all of you?” I sobbed.
The door opened and Billy walked in. They’d found me, they’d found me! I grabbed Constance and hid behind her.
“Elena?”
“What is he doing here? Get him out. Just get him out, please.”
“Elena, calm down, please.” His voice sounded different, kinder and softer.
I looked past Constance. Saw him standing there. He was tired, looked different, and then I saw his eyes.
It wasn’t dark pools of mud staring at me. They were peacock blue.
I shook my head as I stared at him. “No, this can’t be,” I said to Constance. It wasn’t him. I had seen him lying on the bedroom floor. His blood had been everywhere. He was dead. I realized what this was. I had finally gotten my wish, but how had my friends gotten here, and Constance? It didn’t make sense. I looked at Constance again. “This isn’t real, is it?” It barely came out and I felt like crying again. I wanted my mom. If I was dead I wanted her now.
“Shhhh.” Constance’s arms wrapped around me and she spoke softly.
“I want my mom.”
“Shhhh.”
“Get my mom!” I yelled through sobs into her chest.
“Your mom is dead, Elena,” she said softly and rested her chin on my head.
I pushed her back as she said those words. “I’m not dead.”
She shook her head staring at me with great concern.
“Then what is he doing here!” I pointed at Blake. “I killed him, I know what I saw.”
“Blake, just go.”
“I’m not leaving.”
“I said leave,” she said a bit louder, and pulled me away from him, blocking the view of the door with her body. She turned my chin slowly to face her. “You didn’t kill anyone. That kiss made him dent. It was something that should’ve happened a long time ago. The blood was just a side effect.”
“A side effect?” I shook my head. “No I felt for a pulse. He wasn’t breathing.”
“Elena,” Blake said.
“I thought I told you to leave.” Constance sounded harsh.
“I told you, I’m not leaving,” he replied then looked at me. “I’m not dead, okay. I’m right here.” His voice was like honey.
He came closer, and I retreated a bit. He didn’t stop and pulled me into his chest. His arms wrapped around me.
He felt real, he felt warm, not like a ghost or a figment of my imagination. He smelled like Blake. He wasn’t dead. He is alive.
Everything in my body started to relax. It was as if this huge weight from my shoulders had been lifted. He is alive.
The corners of my lips curved, but it vanished as it sank in.
“I’m real and I’m never going—”
I pushed him away. “You’ve been alive all this time.”
“Elena!”
“Don’t Elena me. I needed you! Where the hell were you?”
“I…”
“Get the fuck out of my room.”
He stared at me.
“Leave, you are not my dragon, just go.”
He turned around and walked out.
My knees gave in and I fell next to the bed. I sobbed again, and could feel Constance’s arms around me.
“He tried to—”
“Don’t you dare stand up for him. He wasn’t there. He never cared. He would’ve found me if he’d just looked.” The image of what Billy and Seymour had done, and then all the others, jumped through my mind. It angered me even more.
If I never knew how much Blake despised me, he’d made that perfectly clear by not coming.
“I have no dragon.” And I was going to see Billy every time I looked at Blake. This nightmare was never going to end.
BLAKE
THE FIRST THING that connected with my hands was a bunch of files.
They skidded all over the place making some of the nurses jump.
If I was the old Rubicon, I would’ve incinerated something.
Flashes of how hard she’d tried to make me care flew through my mind. I’d chucked all those attempts back into her face.
I went down on my haunches and muffled my anger.
I knew she was going to be angry that I hadn’t found her. Fuck, I was angry with myself.
To think that she’d thought I was dead all this time, and to make her think that she was dead too just by seeing me, it broke my heart, especially when she’d asked for her mother.
She would never trust me, never know how I felt, as she would never give me another chance. She’d given me way too many chances already, and I’d screwed up all of them.
A bond that would’ve been the strongest in the history of Paegeia had been broken. It would never mend, as I couldn’t fulfill my duty to her. And it was all my fault.
A soft hand touched my arm. I knew it was Samantha. Her sweet lily scent had filled my nostrils moments earlier.
She hugged me as I started to shake softly.
Suddenly Elena’s pain and hatred toward me flowed through my core as if it was my own – her anger too. I’d only felt this once before, when they’d forced this world down her throat. Was the bond starting to heal? I tried to listen for her thoughts, to apologize, but nothing. This was so messed up. I was broken. “She is never going to forgive me for this.”
“You didn’t do this to her.”
“Yes, I did. I let this happen because I couldn’t find her.”
She pushed me back to look at me. She was angry, something that didn’t belong to her. It was something that only Tabitha could bring out, and occasionally the old Blake.
“We’ve been over this so many times, Blake. You tried.”
I stood straight. “Not hard enough.”
“Bullshit. You almost died a couple of times. If Emanuel hadn’t been there. I will make her see that, I will tell her, and so will everyone else.”
I took a deep breath. Telling her wasn’t going to make her trust me.
“No, you won’t.”
Samantha stared at me. “What are you saying? Don’t tell Elena that you almost died trying to find her?”
“Don’t tell her anything, how I changed, who I am.” I looked at my sister with begging eyes. “It’s not going to change anything.”
I knew Elena well. She wasn’t the type of girl who believed stories; she would think this was one to force her to trust me again.
“Blake you don’t know that.”
I wanted to say I did, but then more questions would come, and I wouldn’t be able to tell them, because I would rather die than tell anyone who didn’t already know what the dent procedure was. I wouldn’t put her in more danger because I wanted her.
“Don’t tell her. Promise me.”
“This is nuts.”
“I mean it. If she is going to trust me again, she has to do it on her own terms and because I deserve it.”
“You do deserve it.”
I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and opened them. “Not according to her. Just keep your mouth shut.”
“And then what Blake, listen to her talk shit about you, hate you?”
“If that’s the way she wants to do things, then yes. You listen to Elena and help her get rid of some of her resentment.”
“You are not that Blake anymore.”
“I’ll be whatever she needs me to be. Please, I’m begging you, just do this for me.”
“This is insane, you know that, right?”
“It doesn’t matter what you think. She needs to trust me on her own terms, not through the stories you guys tell her.”
“Blake?”
“Trust me, please.”
She looked at Elena’s room. Her curtains were drawn.
“Is she going to be okay?” she asked and wiped away a tear that had rolled over her cheek.
“My ability to see into the future still sucks a little.” I showed her how much with my fingers inches apart.
She laughed and I wrapped my arms around her.
“But she will be, eventually. That’s a promise.”
WE WENT BACK to the waiting room and I made all of them promise not to tell Elena anything, how Emanuel and I had searched for her, how I’d almost died. Everyone, except George, protested, fought even, especially my mom and dad, not to mention Becky, but they all made the promise eventually.
Becky stared at George as he begged her not to spill it. She didn’t understand it, and it frustrated her.
He hadn’t told her either. George was in many ways like Elena. Actions spoke louder than words.
I went to sit next to my mom on the first chair closest to the door.
Emanuel merely studied me, but I didn’t meet his gaze. He must be wondering about things; he always wondered. Heck, he should’ve been a Crown Tail with all his theories and shit. Still he had become a really good friend, not just to me, but to Elena too.
I still needed that one more favor of his, to be there for her whenever she needed him. As hard as this was, I knew she would feel safe with him, and that he would never take advantage of her. He was way too kind, and not to mention shit scared of what it was I would do.
I got up and paced around in the waiting area before the door opened and Constance entered.
She sighed and plopped down onto the chair I’d vacated moments ago.
We locked gazes.
“She was in one of the wyvern cities. She didn’t give a name, but she said that things are bad, real bad.”
“Wyverns?” I asked and looked at Emanuel. I should’ve gone to the wyvern cities. He closed his eyes and turned his face to the ceiling.
She nodded.
I started to pace. I should’ve looked in the wyvern cities but I hadn’t wanted to start a war. I thought she wouldn’t be in one because of Paul. Shit, what if he had found her? The scenarios in my head just turned worse. Why she couldn’t come back.
“Finding out that she didn’t kill you.” She shook her head.
“I know, I saw that.”
“And now you don’t want us to tell her anything: Who you are and what you did for her,” Becky snapped.
“Becky,” George said softly.
“No, George, this is insane.”
“Blake knows what is best, okay? Just do as he fucking asks.” She jumped as he said those words, and we watched him get up and leave.
“Is this true?” Constance asked.
“Yeah, I hope you didn’t say anything.”
“She didn’t want to hear it.”
“See.” I looked at Becky.
She shook her head with her arms folded in front of her.
“Did she tell you what happened?”
Constance shook her head. “But I know it’s not going to be an easy road. She has a lot of anger in her, and it’s not going to disappear quickly.”
“Okay, I can deal with it.”
“Blake.”
“She is safe. She’s where I can see her, it’s enough for now.”
She blew out a gush of breath and her lip started to quiver. Tears spilled over her cheeks, and I got up, went over to her and pulled my aunt from her chair. I wrapped my arms around her.
“Promise me you are going to find whoever did this to her.”
“I promise, and I will make them wish they were never born or hatched. I’ll do whatever it takes to make them feel the pain we all do now.”
ELENA
A KNOCK SOUNDED on the door and Constance entered.
I didn’t want to speak to her anymore about anything; I didn’t want to speak to anyone. I’d said way too much already.
“Elena,” she said. “Matt is here, please speak to him. We want to help find who did this to you.”
I didn’t answer, just lay with my back to her and heard the door close.
I saw his hands first, clutching a board with forms filled with questions. He looked at me and smiled softly. His large nose was the only thing I focused on.
“Good evening, princess.” He sighed then took the chair that was right in front of my bed. “If you had told me that Herbert was Jako and that your father was actually King Albert, I would’ve probably laughed.”
“Who would’ve thought, huh?”
“Maybe I would have. You know you have his eyes, right? I bet you must have heard that a million times by now.”
“Don’t forget my mother’s grace.”
He chuckled.
“She was an amazing woman. I wish you’d had the chance to meet them.”
“I did, through her journals and the day I ascended, I saw my dad.”
“He was a handsome bugger, right.”
“Ew.”
He laughed.
It was silent for a while.
“Please tell me who did this to you. Give me their names and I will do whatever is in my power to catch them. I promise you they will pay.”
I huffed. “They won’t. They live by different standards, different laws. The weak don’t get justice.”
“Constance told me it was one of the wyvern cities. Which one? A name is all I need.”
“I don’t know which one. I didn’t get time to explore and I didn’t want to find out as I thought I was safe from the Council.”
He squinted and plucked his eyebrows with his fingers as he stared at my bed. Telling him the names of the cities I knew was going to be a waste. They didn’t even have the wyvern names right, what were the chances that the cities were.
“Then tell me north or west.”
“You are going to waste your time. It will mean war, and I don’t have the strength or the ability to start one. I’ll be fine.”
It was a lie, but I didn’t want him to know what had really happened. I didn’t want that pitying look on everyone’s faces as they stared at me, to hear their whispers that would be so loud in my ears. It was my own fault. I shouldn’t have run. I should’ve taken responsibility for my actions.
“Please.”
“No. I just want to forget about it. Please.”
He nodded after a few seconds. “If that is your wish. If you change your mind, please ask anyone to give me a call. I want to catch them. They don’t deserve to live.”
It was really good to hear someone say it, wanting justice, but it wasn’t enough. There were too many casualties, and Paul was right. Every war had its casualties, plus I didn’t want Seymour or Billy to know I was alive. I’d rather die than see their faces again.
“Stay strong, and I hope to see you again real soon.”
To my surprise, he left, and I closed my eyes and just thought of nothing. The voices outside were making me hate all of them. Why hadn’t they looked harder? When I heard Blake’s voice saying something, I wielded my shield around me and everything went silent.
Their sudden concern was making me think about that night. I didn’t want to remember what had happened, and the more people asked that question, the more it played through my mind. The more it played through my mind, the angrier I got, as I had a vicious dragon who could’ve saved me from this. He could’ve saved so many, but hadn’t even thought once about doing so. What was he even doing here?
Lucian was so wrong about him ever loving me like nobody else would. That would never happen, not now, not ever. I released him that day, and that was how it was going to stay.
