Gregory rolled over in bed to face the dark corner. “I was wondering how long it was going to be before seeing you again, my dark heart.”
“It was terrible to wait these last twelve weeks, dear one, but this will have you hitting your magus rank in Krogga. There are a few reasons for it. One of them is because I have been working on your soon-to-be wives and Mindie matching your rank.”
“Making us all equal,” Gregory said softly, a smile on his lips.
“Exactly. Your younger friends and Claudia will match you in rank when they marry you. I am being very careful about withholding some of their growth so I can increase them at key moments.”
“Like you did for me?”
“Yes, because they all love you as much as I do.”
“I trust you to do what we need, Darkness.”
“Thank you, my heart,” Darkness sniffled. “Please do not strain for me today. I cannot take it again.”
Gregory felt a pang of sadness that she was asking him to not try. “If that’s what you need.”
“I… it hurts… stopping you. I do not want to stop you. I want to grab you, pull you to me. I want your arms around me and your lips on mine. I want all of it.”
Gregory swallowed, her emotions raw. “I didn’t know… I’m sorry, my heart.”
“No. You have to grab me, make me yours. Never be sorry for wanting to make me yours. It is just that this last year has been painful to have to keep you back.”
Gregory sat there, staring at her dark silhouette in the corner. “Magus-tier means I can at least kiss your hand, right?”
“Aether, yes.”
Gregory laughed at her phrasing. Darkness giggled softly, as she hadn’t meant it that way, but knew why he’d found it humorous.
“I might be able to even take a kiss on my cheek,” Darkness said after a moment. “It will be your master tier before we can be… intimate with each other.”
“Which will be longer than a year after magus, won’t it?”
“Yes, dearest. I will see you hit master as you leave Krogga. That will put you in the same growth rate as Lighthand and most other older dual-path magi. We can pass it off as the bane jerky and additives, as you have been very consistent in continuing those. Most fall off that and their training when they leave the academy behind.”
“Again, my dearest shadow, I trust you to manage it for us.”
“That makes my core warm so much, my heart. I did have a few updates from the others for you. Jenn has faced six incursions. She lost two men in total over the course of the year. It would have been more if not for the armor from Buldoun and the medicinal aids Mindie sent along. She only took small injuries; a few scars dot her face and hands, but nothing major.”
Gregory exhaled, as he’d tensed up when Darkness had mentioned the number of border raids Jenn had faced. Scars happened in battle; he even had one on the back of his calf from the arrow that’d gotten him earlier in the year.
“Yuki has been fine in Alturis. She ran into a shadow-empowered bane bear last month. Between her and her men, she got it put down, though one of her men was critically injured. With the medicinal aids, he pulled through without too much trouble.”
“Good.”
“Dia has moved over to the orphanage to hold it until your younger friends finish their adept postings. Baylyss is still alive, but she is fading faster. She did not pass before Clover, Ling, and Roshana left, but she will soon.”
Gregory felt a pang in his heart. Dia was like a mother and Baylyss had been a kindly grandmother to the children he cared for. Knowing of the pain and loss that was happening with them, he choked up.
“She was a good woman, and you helped her have happiness before she passed, dear one,” Darkness said softly.
Gregory wiped at the few tears that escaped, unable to speak.
“Dia accepted Willof’s entreaty to court when he eventually returns to the academy. He will also be replacing Gin as arms instructor for Aether’s Guard. Gin accepted the clan’s offer to move to Tivano and take over as the magi guard trainer there.”
“Good. I’m glad for all of them,” Gregory said roughly, trying to regain his emotional stability.
“Your younger friends are already marching to their postings. All of them promise to update you through me as often as they can. Nessa is off to the Buldoun border, near Anders. She will not encounter anything major. Daciana was sent southwest to the Kroggian border; while she will face raids across the border, she will do fine. Vicky goes to the port post of Coveton, where she will be assisting the city magi in keeping an eye on imports and exports.”
“As long as they’re all fine for the year.”
“They will survive, but Vicky will have the hardest time with her corrupt magus. Much like you, she will pick her ground and hold to it. She will survive, but she will anger the clan the magus is part of.”
“What clan?”
“Yamato Shipping. They get angry because their magus is caught breaking laws. Publicly, they will thank her, but they will join others in pushing against Aether’s Guard in secret.”
“Politics…” Gregory sighed. “Yuki will handle that better than I ever will.”
“Yes, her and others,” Darkness snickered. “Four of them are on their way to Krogga already and will arrive roughly around the same time. Yuki and Jenn will be relieved of duty today and sent on their way. In a week, you will finally be relieved of duty, as well.”
“We’ll be stopping in Coldwood and waiting for them to arrive,” Gregory said with a rough exhale. “I’ll be glad to put this post behind me.”
“Your replacement could be convinced to hold the line you took. Kyle Walun of Swift Wind is kind-hearted. He has a soft spot for those who are oppressed, like you.”
“The one who liked Daciana?”
“Yes. He was crushed by that rejection, but unlike many others who feel that pain, he accepted it. Daciana told him you were here, and he hopes to get some advice from you.”
“Gladly. I had hoped he’d be a good guy.”
“That is everything I have for you, dear heart.”
“I want to fling myself at you…” Gregory said softly as he stood up. “Since you asked me not to, I won’t, but I’ll still show you my love.” He bowed at the waist to her in the Buldoun fashion, then stood up to blow her a kiss. “I will dream of only you tonight, my dark heart. When we meet again, I will gaze on you in wonder and kiss your fingers.”
“I love you so much…” Darkness hiccupped, tears flowing down her face. “Please… accept me when you see me.”
Gregory frowned slightly, as the fear in those last few words cut into his heart. “Of course, I will. You could never be unloved. Why would you think we wouldn’t love you?”
Darkness cried as the room shook around her. “Because… you will see…!”
Gregory took a step toward her, wanting to comfort her. “Darkness, I—!”
He was gone before he could continue as she pushed him out of the space, unable to resist flinging herself at him to be comforted. Crying, she wrapped her arms around herself. Her deep fear of being unwanted when he saw her filled her with dread. All of them pulling back from her, in fear, revulsion, and disgust was the only thing she could see in her mind.
“No… please, no…!” Darkness cried.
Just before the room vanished, she stiffened when she felt Gregory’s thoughts. His deep care and concern for her pushed back the fear enough that she could master it again. Taking a deep, calming breath, she loosened her tight grip on herself.
“Please, dearest… please…” She whispered, then vanished with the room.
Gregory jerked upright in bed. He exhaled roughly, remembering how Darkness had felt. “My darkest love, you will never be unloved. My word on my aether, my life, and my love; I will never not love you, Darkness. Please hold to my words…” Sitting there as the third bell rang in the distance, he could only keep thinking that, hoping what he was saying would reach her.
