I wake in the chair with a start. It’s early morning and Julian is sitting beside Will with his hands clasped in front of him. “Hey,” I whisper.
He smiles. “Hey.”
“You okay?” I ask.
He nods. “Sorry about last night.” He shrugs his shoulders. “Tough day yesterday.”
My eyes roam to Will. She’s sleeping peacefully.
I gesture to the bathroom and make my way inside. Moments later, Julian follows, shutting the door behind him. He takes me into his arms and we stand in an embrace.
“I missed you last night,” I whisper.
“Me, too.” He kisses me softly. “Did she sleep okay?”
“Yeah, she was zonked out the whole night.”
“Have you slept?” He looks down at me and tucks a piece of hair behind my ear.
“No, I just napped. I’m fine, though” I kiss him again. “I’m sorry she wanted me to stay last night. I’ve felt bad about it all night. You should have stayed with her. She’s your daughter, not mine.”
“No, it’s okay. I’m just not used to having someone else to rely on.” He blows out a deep breath. “I acted like a spoilt brat last night when she didn’t want me.”
I smile up at him. “I love my spoilt brat.”
He smiles as his hands squeeze my behind. “Let’s get the hell out of this place.”
“Brell?” I hear Will call.
Shit. I take off out the door. “Here I am.”
She frowns. “I thought you’d left.”
“No, I’m here, baby. I was just talking to your dad in the bathroom. We didn’t want to wake you up.”
Julian walks out of the bathroom. “Hey.” He kisses her on the forehead and takes her hand in his.
Watching him be so caring and gentle with his children really hurts my ovaries.
“Hi, Dad,” she whispers. “Sorry about all this fuss.”
He smiles sadly. “This isn’t your fault, Will. Please don’t think this is your fault.”
She falls silent.
“I spoke to the doctor. You can come home now,” he tells her.
“I can?”
“Yes.” His eyes rise to mine. “You have to have a few appointments over the next few weeks, but all is fine.”
She smiles sleepily. “Good. I’m really missing Maverick.”
“Hmm.” He rolls his eyes. “You’ll be pleased to know that I couldn’t find that damn cat when I got home last night. I had to spend three hours outside searching for it, only to come in and find it had been asleep under my pillow the whole time.”
I find myself grinning.
“I was tempted to smother it with said pillow when I found it there.”
Willow giggles. “Thanks for looking for him.”
He widens his eyes and he flashes a little smug smirk. I really have to stop myself from grabbing his hand.
Who is he kidding with this tough guy act? He’s a big pussycat underneath it all.
He pulls Willow up by her hand. “Let’s go home.”
The house is quiet, the weight of yesterday playing heavily on our minds. It’s 3:00 p.m. and Frances and Joseph are picking Samuel up from school and then dropping him home. Julian has been down to the police station, determined to press charges against whoever locked his daughter in that cupboard. The police are interviewing kids at the school right now hoping to get some answers and find out who is responsible.
We’re sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee, both lost in our own thoughts.
“What happens if they don’t find out who did it?” I ask.
“They will.” He blows into his coffee cup. “The police will get to the bottom of this.”
“We need to look for a new school for her.”
Julian frowns. “What for?”
“Well, she can’t go back there.”
“Why not?” He shakes his head dismissively. “The person responsible will be charged and expelled. After that, she can return.”
“Julian, twenty-five children were in that class. Not one of them stepped in and told someone she was locked in there.”
His brows furrow.
“This problem runs much deeper than a few mean girls.”
”Don’t be so dramatic.”
My face falls. ‘Can you hear yourself? Teenage depression is the number one cause of suicide in the world right now. Your daughter is being bullied. She’s trying to find herself.’
“She’s not suicidal,” he snaps.
“Like you can tell when people are suicidal!” I cry in outrage.
His face falls and he rubs his fingertips over his lips, clenching his jaw.
“Sorry.” I shake my head, instantly regretting the words I just spat at him. “I didn’t mean that.”
“Yes, you did.”
I grab his hand over the table. ‘Julian, please, let’s change her school. She doesn’t need to put up with this. She’s just a baby.’
“This is the best school in England. I want her to go there.”
“Why?” I scowl. “So you have bragging rights? It’s the best school with the meanest girls.” I throw my hands up in the air. “The best school means nothing if she is fucking miserable and depressed.”
“She needs to learn to toughen up.”
“You have got to be joking?”
“The world isn’t all hearts and flowers, Brielle.”
“You think she doesn’t know that?” I lose my temper. “Growing up without a mother isn’t exactly hearts and flowers, Julian.”
His eyes fall to the table.
“She can’t go back to that school. Over my dead body is she going back to that school.”
“This isn’t your decision,” he says, his voice rising in anger.
“I don’t believe you. Is your head stuck that far up your own ass that you can’t see the wood for the trees? Money means jack shit if you’re miserable, Julian.”
He stands abruptly. “Don’t you think I know that?” he growls. “I, more than anyone, know that.” He shakes his head. “This is none of your business.”
“None of my business.” I throw up my hands in despair. “What the hell am I doing here then if Willow is none of my business?”
“Making my life fucking difficult.”
My eyes fill with tears. “You’re really going to make her go back tYou’re a fuckinghere?”
“Yes.” He lifts his chin defiantly. “She can have the rest of the week off until the police find whoever was responsible and press charges. Then she is going back to that school.”
I shake my head in disgust. “You poor, delusional man. You think that the police are going to change anything? You think that the school is going to change anything? They don’t give a fuck, Julian. The whole system is about protecting the criminals. You know that more than anyone. You’re a fucking judge for Christ’s sake. A criminal gets bashed in prison and the whole world is up in arms.”
He glares at me.
“What about the ten children he raped before he was sent to prison? Nobody hears about the silent victims, do they? You only hear about the criminals. The whole judicial system is geared towards saving them. Schools, the law, you fucking name it.” I shake my head as angry tears fill my eyes. “It’s all about protecting them, protecting their privacy and reputation, making sure they get counselling.” I swipe a stray tear away. “Well, I’m not letting her become another statistic just because you’re that much of a fucking snob.”
“You have no say in this. You are not her fucking mother!” he growls in my face.
“I’m the closest thing she’s got to one and I’m choosing to defend her like you should be.”
He steps back from me, contempt seeping from his every pore. “She is my child and I will not have you telling me how to bring her up. How dare you fight with me over this?”
“I promised you I would always put the children first,” I counter.
“Over me?” he cries. “You’re putting her over our relationship?”
“Yes, and you can hate me all you want for it. My loyalties lie with Willow and what is going to make her the happiest she can be.” The tears roll down my face. “Whatever path she chooses to take, I will be behind her one-hundred percent.”
“Then you’ll be on your fucking own,” he growls. “Parenting isn’t a popularity contest, Brielle. It’s about making the hardest decisions.” He slams his hand onto the bench. “The right decisions. I’ve looked after her for the last sixteen years, and it will be me who looks after her for the next sixteen. This has nothing to do with you!” he yells, losing complete control.
“Dear God, Julian. What’s going on?” Frances whispers as she walks into the room. “Why are you speaking to Brielle like that?”
I swipe the angry tears from my eyes and drop my head.
“What’s going on, son?” Joseph asks.
Sammy floats into the room, his face immediately falling when he sees me in tears. “What’s wrong, Brelly?”
“Nothing, baby, I’m fine.” I force a smile. “Can you take Tillie outside for a walk, please?”
He nods, his eyes holding mine.
“It’s okay. Out you go.” I smile.
He begrudgingly does as he’s told.
The rest of us stay silent.
“What’s going on?” Frances eventually asks.
Julian’s breath quivers as he tries to control his anger, placing his hands on his hips.
“I don’t want Willow to go back to that school,” I tell them quietly. “She has no friends and she’s miserable. I’m scared for her mental health.”
Julian glares at me, his fury palpable.
“I agree with you,” Joseph says firmly. “She doesn’t even need to go to school. She’s finished year ten. She already has a position in the family business. She can do the rest of her schooling through correspondence at work.”
“The whole world isn’t about the fucking family business, Dad!” Julian yells.
“You wouldn’t know because you refuse to work in it,” Joseph hits back. “This is about you not wanting to work there, not Willow.”
I put my hands on my head, knowing this is getting out of control.
“Stop it,” I whisper angrily. “I only care about Willow. I want what’s best for Willow.”
“What’s best for Willow is you butting out,” Julian growls.
My anger rises and I glare up at him with fire in my eyes. “Fine,” I hiss, and then I turn and storm to my room.
I’ve never felt so hopeless in all of my life.
The house has been silent all afternoon. Julian and I aren’t speaking to each other. Willow is holed up in her bedroom, while I have been hovering around her trying to make sure she’s okay.
I’m sitting at the kitchen table trying to work out what to say to Julian to make this right. I just don’t believe that she can go back to that school safely.
It’s 8:00 p.m. when the doorbell rings and Julian goes to open the door.
“Lola, hello.” He smiles. “This is a nice surprise.”
My face falls. What’s she doing here?
“I just came to check on Will. Is it okay if I visit with her for a while?”
“Of course.” He smiles. “Come in, come in.”
Lola walks in and smiles when she sees me. “Hello, Brell.”
“Hello, Lola. How thoughtful of you to visit.” I stand nervously. “Willow is upstairs, I’ll just get her—”
“No, I’ll show her up,” Julian interrupts. “This way.” He leads her upstairs and I put the kettle on. He returns only moments later.
“Would you like a cup of tea?” I ask.
He nods and slides into place on a stool at the kitchen counter.
I dunk the teabag into the water. “I’m sorry about this afternoon. I just…” I pause, wanting to get this right. “I’m scared for her.”
He nods to himself. “I am, too.” He scratches his head. “I’m also sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I said to you.”
We sit in silence, neither of us knowing what to say to the other.
“Our first fight,” I whisper. “Over the kids.”
He frowns and smiles at the same time. “I hate that you said you’d choose her over me.”
“Julian, I wouldn’t choose anyone over you. But I have to do what I feel is right.” I take his hand over the counter. “I’m genuinely concerned for her. If something were to happen, I would never forgive myself.”
His eyes search mine. “Do you really think she’s in danger of becoming depressed?”
“Yes, I think she already is, a little bit.”
He drops his chin to his chest.
“We can help her, but…” I pause as I watch him. “The path that you choose for her may not be the path she wants to take.” I squeeze his hand. “You need to trust her choices. If she says she can’t go back there then you need to listen.”
He reaches for his coffee and takes a sip. “This Lola seems nice, though.”
I smile to myself. If only he knew how nice Will thinks she is.
Right on cue, Will walks into the kitchen, and Julian quickly drops my hand. Shit.
“Hey.” He smiles at his daughter. “You’re looking better.”
‘Can Lola sleepover?’
“Sure.”
I frown. “Where will she sleep?”
“In my room, on my trundle bed.”
What?
“That’s fine, sweetheart.” Julian puts his arm around her. “Have fun, hey?”
What the fuck? She’s sixteen and vulnerable. She’s not in any state to be having her first sexual experience with an older woman right under her father’s nose.
Jesus Christ. Can this day get any harder?
Willow smiles. “Thanks.” She bounces back upstairs.
My pulse seems to blare in my ears. I need to tell him my suspicions. But they are just suspicions. Julian stands and puts his arms around me. “Let’s go to bed early and have makeup sex.”
“Uh, yeah,” I say, distracted.
Maybe they are just friends…
I know they’re not. She’s only sixteen.
What if something happens and Willow goes completely off the rails. She’s too fragile to be doing this right now. I have to stop it, so I stand.
“I’m going to go and make sure they have enough blankets.”
“Okay, babe. I’ll lock up.”
I walk up to Willow’s room and stand outside the closed door. Sammy is already asleep after staying up so late last night looking for Maverick.
My heart is hammering in my chest. How the hell do I approach this?
I knock on the door as quietly as I can.
“Just a minute,” Willow calls, already sounding guilty.
Shit, does she have a lock on this door?
She opens it in a rush, and I glance in. Lola is lying on her bed and Willow already looks disheveled. Jesus, were they making out?
“Can I speak to you for a minute, Will?”
Willow frowns. “Sure.”
I take her down the hall until there’s nowhere else to go. I quickly pull her into Julian’s room. “Take a seat.”
“What’s wrong?” She asks.
I take both her hands in mine as we sit on the bed. “You know I love you, right?” I whisper.
Will frowns.
“I don’t think that it’s appropriate that Lola stays over just yet.”
“Why not?”
I swallow the lump in my throat. “Well, you only just met.”
She watches me, and I can tell she’s trying to figure out if I know. “So? We want to get to know each other better.”
My eyes search hers. “Will…” I whisper.
She frowns. “How do you know?”
I smile softly. “I could tell as soon as I saw the way you looked at each other.”
Tears fill her eyes. “Are you going to tell Dad?” she whispers in a panic.
I shake my head. “No, baby. You have to do that when you’re ready.” I brush my hand over her hair. “But you’re only sixteen, I can’t, with a clear conscience, let Lola stay over.”
She drops her head and tears fill her eyes. “Do you hate me now?”
“What? No.” I take her in my arms. “Why would I hate you? There is nothing wrong with this. You are perfect exactly as you are.” I kiss the top of her head.
“Please don’t tell Dad. I’m just trying to figure this out,” she begs.
“I know.” I hug her tight. “And you will, I know you will.”
“I love you, Brell,” she whispers against my shoulder. “You’re the first person who has ever been on my side.”
“I love you too, baby.” I kiss the top of her head and she holds me tight.
“What are you two doing up here blubbering?” Julian asks as he casually walks into his room.
We pull back from each other and wipe our eyes. “We’ve just had a shitty week, haven’t we, pumpkin?” I smile.
“Yes.” Willow stands, still wiping away her tears. “Dad, Lola can’t stay now. She has to work in the morning.”
“Okay.” He shrugs. “Whatever.”
Will walks out and disappears down the hall.
“What was that about?” Julian frowns.
My heart drops. I have to lie to him, even though I know it’s wrong.
It’s not my secret to tell.
“Nothing, just emotion overload,” I say sadly.
Julian’s hand cups my jaw and he brings my face up to his. “You okay?” he whispers as he studies my face.
I smile and nod. The lump in my throat hurts as I try to hold back more tears. Willow has such a hard road ahead of her. It’s overwhelming and my chest hurts.
I’m not okay.
An hour of crying and a shower later, I finally crawl into bed. I’m exhausted from not sleeping last night and I’m hoping everything will seem better in the morning. Julian had to wait for Lola to leave before he could come down. He’s probably fallen asleep by now. He’s tired, too, after searching for our mischievous kitten all night. I get a vision of him walking around outside in the dark with a flashlight and it makes me smile.
He makes out he’s so tough, but I know the truth.
The door creaks open slowly, and then I hear the lock click. Knowing he’s here makes me smile into my pillow.
He comes around to my side of the bed. ‘Hey,’ he whispers.
“Hi.” I smile up at him. Last night was the first night we slept apart since we became a thing. I missed him.
He slowly undresses and crawls under the blankets beside me, taking me into his arm. The second I cling to him my emotions rise again and I tear up.
“What’s wrong, baby?” he whispers.
The lump in my throat aches so bad. “I’m just tired, and I’m scared for Will.”
“It’s okay. She’ll be okay, I promise you.” He leans up to rest on his elbow, offering me a kiss of reassurance
‘Promise me that whatever happens, you will always be on her side,’ I beg him softly.
He frowns down at me. “You know I will. I love her. Of course, I’ll always be on her side.”
I imagine how he is going to react when he finds out she might be gay and it makes more tears run down my face. He won’t cope with it. I know he won’t. I can’t imagine how scared she must be.
He leans closer. “Hey,” he whispers, pushing the hair back from my face. “What’s causing all these tears?”
I shrug and force a smile.
“Roll over,” he tells me.
I roll over so that my back is to him, and he wraps his arms around me and kisses my cheek. “Go to sleep, baby. You’re delirious.”
I feel so safe in his arms and I close my eyes as he trails kisses over my shoulder. “I love you,” he murmurs into my hair.
Guilt hits me in the chest. “I love you, too.”
It’s been two weeks since Will has been to school. The two girls who did it were expelled, but it doesn’t really matter to us anymore. Joseph and Frances thankfully talked Julian into letting Willow leave that school, and now she is working at Masters Group as a trainee, and a tutor is coming in and doing lessons with her every afternoon. She’s happy and smiling for the first time in a long time. Today is her first soccer game. She’s not playing any of the nasty girls, and we all agreed that her sporting activities are something she should never give up.
I sit in my fold up chair next to Julian so we can watch the game.
“Julian?” Rebecca calls as she power walks over to us. “Have you been hiding from me, darling?” She rests her hand on his shoulder. “What are you doing tonight?”
My eyes flicker over to him and I give him the look. I’m sick of this bitch cracking onto my man in front of me.
Julian seems to get the hint. “Can you take your hand off me, please?” He sighs.
“What?” Her face falls in surprise.
“I don’t like the way you touch me every time you talk to me,” he mutters dryly.
I keep my eyes on the field and bite the inside of my mouth to stop myself from smiling. Awkward.
“Oh.” She frowns, as if flustered. She straightens her shirt to try and regain her composure. “Well, what are you doing tonight?”
“I’m going out with my girlfriend.”
I keep my eyes on the field, pretending not to listen.
“You have a girlfriend?” she asks, even more horrified than before.
“Yes.”
“Who?”
“That’s none of your business.”
Her mouth falls open. She’s never heard him be so blunt, and I just want to punch the air to celebrate.
“Oh.” She frowns harder. “Well, it’s not serious, is it?”
“Very. I’m completely off the market.”
I can’t help it, my smile does break through this time, and I stand in a rush. “I’m going to get coffee,” I blurt out.
“I’ll come, too.” Julian stands.
“Oh.” Rebecca’s face pales completely. “Catch you later then, I suppose.”
I walk towards the coffee van with my arms folded and my smile aimed at the ground.
“What are you smiling at, Miss Brielle?”
“I like that you’re off the market, Mr. Masters.”
He chuckles and raises his brow. “Surprisingly, so do I.”
