Iwas up at three in the damn morning and wishing I was in Malibu. I’d let Derek get to me yesterday, but I woke up with one thing in mind: My life had reached an ultimate turning point, and I was moving forward with it. I was fearless and content to accept myself, my past, and the fact that history had helped me to learn from those mistakes so I could raise my daughter to be happy no matter what. So, I wasn’t going to let the demons of my past scare me from going after what I wanted. They’d never frightened me before, so why would I allow them to stop me from having what I wanted most now, which was Jim and happiness for Addy and me.
Jim didn’t hassle me about staying the night at my place. I could tell he’d reached the end of his day as well when I called him to let him know about Derek, and that I needed to head home to cool off. The fact that Addy was already asleep made it an easy decision anyway. If I’d have driven to Malibu, she would have ended up taking a nice, long car nap in time to play in the pool until midnight, and I wasn’t having that under the best of circumstances. We both agreed that if I were comfortable waking up early and taking Addy to watch the guys surf in the morning, it was just as convenient for us to stay at my place.
We were finally packed, in our swimsuits, and flying up the interstate to Malibu to meet up with the group. I was excited to do this. Even during my bad days, when I went surfing, I felt like I was truly living, being out in the ocean. Was I surfing this morning with the guys today? Hell no. I hadn’t been on the board in years, and I wasn’t in the mood to drink half the ocean and have the other half up in my sinuses. Today was a relax in the sun day, even though we were heading down so early.
I’d surfed Santa Cruz waters, but never this far south, so I didn’t know much about where the best spots were. When I talked to Jim this morning, I figured out that the guys were sacrificing their usual surf spots for Addy. They didn’t have to do that on her account, though. She loved jumping shallow waves and building sandcastles, and she probably could’ve done that at any beach, but it was a sweet gesture.
We followed the GPS and pulled in where a badass CJ7 Jeep was parked next to a classic 1970s Bronco. Both tops were off, and I could tell that the surfers were here. I smiled at the idea of how cool it would be to ride in either one of those restored vehicles. Next to those were two sleek sports cars.
Yep, this is the right beach.
Addy and I walked out past a nice restaurant that had an outdoor bar where you could drink, but still be safely and legally on the beach, protected by the restaurant’s outdoor seating. Next were all the cabanas—we had definitely upgraded from our usual beaches. I glanced through the cabanas, guessing that if Jim and all his friends were out here, the guys most likely already had one reserved.
I was wrong. Ash walked over to us from a nicely set-up area. Surfboards were lying out in front of canopies, keeping us closer to the shorelines. Beach blankets were laid out carefully, and there were chairs that I could sit on and fall asleep in if I wanted to.
“Hey, you,” Ash said from under a floppy, white hat with oversized sunglasses, looking stylish with her pregnant belly in her swimsuit and beach coverup. “The guys are already out there screwing off. You just missed Collin’s wipeout.” She chuckled and looked at Addy. “Hey, sweetie. I’m Ash. You look like you’re all ready for a day at the beach.”
“I am. I’m Addy. Can I surf too?” She pointed out to a man in a wet suit who just took a wave.
Ash laughed and looked at me. “That’s Jake. He’s my husband. At the rate he’s going, you’re going to watch him bite it, and then you might not want to do it. How about some smaller waves?” She looked at me, wondering if she’d overstepped her bounds.
I smiled. “We’ll see, Addy. Let’s just relax and watch the guys for now. You can take those cool beach toys that I know you conned Jim into buying you and play with them.”
“We didn’t buy toys, Mom,” she said.
“That was Jake and me,” Ash smiled, and looked at Addy. “We thought you’d love to bury Jake in the sand.”
Addy giggled her tired laugh. “I’ll bury him to his neck,” she said, making Ash laugh.
“Then I’ll help you give him a mermaid tail. Do you like mermaids?”
“I love mermaids and unicorns.” Addy started to perk up.
“Then we’ll make Jake a mermaid when he comes in and is too tired to care,” she said, leading the way to the cabana area they’d set up.
“So, do the guys own this part of the beach or something? This is insanely awesome,” I said, sitting in a lounge chair next to Ash.
“They definitely act as though they own it,” she said with a laugh. “We’re rarely here, so this is a nice change. Maybe if we’re all not wiped out this afternoon, you guys can come to take a look at my gallery. I have some neat mermaid paintings.” She shrugged. “Jake pulled off some miracle, and with the lighting in there, it looks super cool. It blew my mind, and I painted the damn—” she covered her mouth, Addy sitting in front of us, but still ignoring us. “Oops. I’m sorry, dang things.” She shook her head. “It might be fun for Addy to pick out a picture.”
“You all are too good to her and me.”
“It’s nice to have the company of a woman I can relate to. The guys are all great, but having a woman around who’s not prattling on about superficial stuff all the time is a breath of fresh air.”
“That bad, huh?” I smiled.
“I’m just glad you’re here,” she answered as she reached for a thermos. “We brought coffee. Do you want some?”
“Yes, please. I take it black, thanks,” I said, reaching for the cup she handed me. “So, are they all single?”
“Alex is messing around with a girl named Summer. She’s come around once or twice, but being that she’s Jim’s secretary, they’re trying to play it low key. She seems sweet, but she hardly talks, so I don’t really know. I’m not one to judge people prematurely, but she seems more interested in the superficial side of Alex. That could just be a bit of immaturity. Who knows. As long as he’s happy.” She eyed the men out there, catching waves, “Collin is hit and miss. He brought one woman around, but she acted like she was being tortured by having to hang out with people who were beneath her. Jake and Jim instantly didn’t like her. She seemed like maybe she was more suited to date a prince or something. Honestly, I don’t blame any of the women. These guys aren’t exactly serious. Maybe someday,” she finished with a shrug.
“I get what you mean,” I said, knowing Ash was probably holding back so she wouldn’t sound like a beauty-parlor gossip. Some people made it hard to have something nice to say about them, and I got the feeling these guys attracted a lot of those types. It was hard to attract meaningful people if you acted like a goof, though. Ash was right about that.
“Then,” Ash hung onto that word while I sipped my coffee, “I never thought I’d see Jim loosen up the way he has since being around you.” She pointed out to where Jim surfed, disappearing into a wave that curved beautifully. “That is something no one thought we’d be seeing today. Jake said last night that if Jim got on the board today, he thinks you’re sticking around forever. He’s never seen Jim living it up this much. It all started since he came back from England.” She smiled at me as I watched intently to see if Jim could stay ahead of the wave, he popped out and then did my favorite part of surfing, carving the board back and jumping the white, dominating the wave.
Nice one! I thought, feeling my legs aching to be out in the water and on a board again.
“I gave him a pretty hard time in England.” I smiled at her. “The poor guy lived on that phone. It didn’t take much to realize he was married to his work. We drove through the gorgeous English countryside, and he missed it all because he was staring at his phone. I felt bad for the guy. He had all these remarkable things, but I didn’t see him enjoying any of it.”
Ash laughed. “Did you know who he was?”
“I had no clue,” I said with a smile, pulling my hood over my head, chilled by the cool morning breeze. “We role-played this ridiculous act of being husband and wife like crazy people. It was pretty hilarious.”
“Role played?” She looked at me in confusion.
“I have no idea how it started, but we faked a fight, and then the crazy BS started flying. We faked it so much at one spot that we had to go eat somewhere else.”
Ash laughed. “You’re good for him.” She looked at Addy. “And so is she.”
“I’m still trying to wake up from it all.”
She giggled. “I felt the same with Jake too.” She relaxed under the blanket she’d draped over her. “That’s why it’s nice having you around. You’re down to earth. The other women who come around seem to act like they’re owed it all. I don’t know. It just creates a tense environment when we’re all together. This is nice, though.” She smiled. “It makes me more and more excited for when our little one is here.”
“When are you due?”
“November,” she said. “I can’t wait.”
“It’s the best. Holding and seeing your baby for the first time.” I looked at Addy, “Then watching them grow into their little personalities. It’s the biggest trip.”
“There goes Jim again.” Ash chuckled. “He’s schooling those guys. They all made bets that Jim would hear his phone from shore and stop after one wave if he got out there at all.”
“That’s a good one.” I laughed and then leaned on my elbows to watch my man surf, “When’s the last time he’s surfed?”
“Jake said they grew up out here, surfed almost every day. Jim was a natural, but once he took over the company, he never went out anymore. I know Jake is loving this. All of them out there.”
We spent the morning watching the guys catch waves, and I loved every second of their mini pro-surfer competition. The waves were breaking much bigger than I expected, but fall and winter brought big swells to the Southern California coastline.
It didn’t take long for Jim to paddle in and Addy to pop up and run out to meet him. He held his board with one arm, trotting through the knee-deep water, and smoothing back his onyx black, wet hair. I knew I had the cheesiest grin on my face, watching him with lust.
Then my expression changed from lust to covering my mouth as I watched the sweetest thing this mom could ever dream up for her daughter and herself. Jim made it to the sand and was hurrying to where Addy was pointing and squealing at him. It looked as though she wanted in that water so bad, but it wasn’t the water she wanted, it was the man who’d scooped her up in his free arm and met her with as much happiness and eagerness as she’d met him. I leaned forward and folded my arms over my lap, watching this beautiful moment play and wishing I’d recorded it on my phone to watch over and over again.
Jim managed to maneuver her to his side while hanging onto his board, and then our eyes met. I smiled at him, Addy pointing at his board as he walked up the soft, dry sand toward us. He set down the board, and let my crazed daughter, who was now obsessed with it, examine it.
“Careful, Addy,” I said. “You can snap that thing in two. No getting on it.”
“I’m just petting it, Mom,” she said, not looking back as Ash and I laughed.
Jim’s smile was beaming and his eyes bright as he approached me, sitting in my chair. He unzipped the top portion of his wetsuit, and before I could admire his tanned abs, his lips were quickly pressing hard against mine.
His wet cheek met mine. “You look beautiful,” he whispered, “and tonight is ours.” He brushed his lips across my cheek and sat in the chair to Ash’s right.
“Here, trade me,” Ash said, starting to stand.
“Relax, little sister,” Jim said, positioning his chair to face Addy and us two ladies. “I’m fine. Besides, the best views are right where I’m at.”
I smiled along with Ash, but Ash’s attention was drawn out where Jake had just caught a wave.
“You looked pretty fantastic out there,” I said. “I didn’t pin you as a man who surfed.”
He glanced out to where Jake disappeared into a barrel. The waves were badass. I was feeling a yearning to get out there—too bad I didn’t take Jim up on the wetsuit situation yesterday.
“Well.” He shrugged, grabbing a bottle of water. “I figured I’d lost it after all these years, but the guys all bet against me, so I felt inclined to prove them wrong.”
“You did amazing, Jim,” Ash said. “Jake’s gotta pay up. He’s the one who started the whole bet.”
“Of all the people, Jakey knows that when my own brother places wagers against me, I’m going to beat him.” He laughed, eyes dazzling when they met mine again. “Even if I kill myself.”
I couldn’t focus. I wanted to be in his arms. I wished I’d just gone to his house last night. I glanced out at the ocean after Addy lost interest in Jim’s shortboard and went back to digging for treasures in the sand.
“Those waves are incredible.”
“Then get on the board,” Jim said.
“Funny.” I looked over at him. “Tempting to take that on in a bikini, but not tempting enough.”
“Good thing that I asked Ash to borrow one of her wetsuits after an adorable little girl told me she wanted to surf like Mommy.”
“What?” I frowned. “She’s only heard stories.”
Jim laughed. “You have a wetsuit waiting for you. Get back on the board, Mom.”
“Yeah, Mommy,” Addy said.
“You two are starting to work dangerously against me,” I said.
“Go have a little fun. Where’d you surf?” Ash asked.
“Santa Cruz.” I smiled, wondering if I should do this. More surfers were out, and I wasn’t in the mood to deal with assholes.
“Hey,” Jim said, standing up and walking over a badass wetsuit, “get into this thing. The guys will make sure no one drops in on you out there.”
My lips twisted as I studied the wetsuit.
“Av,” Jim said, snapping my attention to him. No one shortened my name like this except my sister. I suddenly loved that coming out of his mouth. “What happened to the girl who taught me how to live life? Will she sit on the beach and miss the last of these perfect waves?”
“I have a kid.” I smirked at him.
“Addy’s on my watch now,” he said. “I promised I’d build sandcastles with her anyway. Go live a little.”
“Fine,” I said, Jim sparking up the adventurous side of me. “She doesn’t go into the water.”
“I’ll make sure she doesn’t bribe Jim.” Ash laughed. “We’ve got Addy. Go have some fun.”
