Buttoning my shirt, I enter the living room expecting to see Annie and Sasha in the kitchen. After my call with John, I figured I’d take a quick shower and the girls would entertain themselves. Not seeing them at the island, I turn and spot them on the couch. I’m about to call out when Annie’s words reach me.
“He tried to take me once.”
I freeze. Every muscle locking in place. My lungs refusing to fill.
How… Is she talking about Randal? She must be. But why? Why is she telling Sasha this story?
I nearly lose my footing, when for the second time in as many days my failures overwhelm me. How am I fucking up in such epic ways? This last series of events presses into my mind. The call from Angelo alerting me to a reported intruder at Sasha’s place. The feeling of utter uselessness and fear as I rushed to her apartment. The sight of Sasha huddled in the corner of her own home. Her tears. The call I had to make to my mother, telling her that Randal was back. That he was right fucking here, in my goddamn city. Telling my mom to keep Annie in her sight at all times. Telling my mom to keep this from Annie. I’ve done so much to keep Annie not just safe from Randal, but to keep his name away from her. Not wanting her to have this sort of reminder.
After the kidnapping attempt, Annie went to therapy. We all did. But eventually she started doing better. No more nightmares. No more asking why he did it. And as the years passed, I made sure that his name was never said in her presence. It’s not like I thought she forgot about what happened but… I’m a fucking idiot. Of course, she didn’t forget. She was young when it happened but old enough to remember something like that. Old enough for it to affect her.
And standing here, frozen at the edge of the room, I listen to Annie as she goes through her retelling of events. I listen, and while a little bit of me dies, the rest of me wars between blind rage and utter devastation. I let this happen. I let all of this happen.
“I was scared but once I heard dad coming, I knew he’d save me. My dad was like a superhero. It was awesome.”
“Is that right?” Sasha’s voice is a little raspy, but I can hear her smile.
It’s that smile that snaps me out of my spiraling thoughts. If these two can smile right now, then I sure as hell can pull it together.
Clearing my throat, I walk towards them. “What’s so hard to believe? I’m basically Batman.”
The matching pair of rolling eyes that greet me has the fist around my heart unclenching. Just a bit.
I lean down and kiss Annie’s messy hair. “Morning, Princess.”
She gives me a sheepish look. “Don’t be mad at Sasha, she didn’t tell me about Uncle Randal breaking into her place. I overheard grandma when she was on the phone with you last night.”
I crouch down to her level. “I wouldn’t be mad at her even if she had told you. But I shouldn’t be surprised that you’re such a sneaky little butt.”
Annie grins. “I get it from you.”
My muscles relax a bit more.
Sasha stands and places a hand on my shoulder. “I need to hop in the shower.” She looks at Annie. “In case you leave before I’m ready, I hope you have a nice day with your grandma. As for you, mister, your coffee is on the counter.” Sasha punctuates her statement with a flick to the back of my head, making Annie snort out a laugh.
And just like that, my outlook for the day changes. My girls are okay. Truly okay.
I pull Annie in for a hug.
“Dad, are you mad at me?”
“No, princess. I’m not mad at you. I’m upset that you had to think about it on your own all night. I wish you would’ve told me.” I breathe out a deep sigh and pull back so I can look my daughter in the eye. “And I should’ve told you. I just didn’t want you to worry about this.”
“I’m not worried. I have you to protect me.” The expression on her face is so pure, she means every word. “And now Sasha has you, too. I know you’ll keep her safe just like you did for me.”
I pull her in for another hug. “I’m here if you want to talk about any of it. Or if you want to see Dr. Sallis again, we can do that.”
Annie struggles against my hug. “Dad, I’m fine. For real. I’m not a little kid anymore.”
“I know.” I squeeze once more before releasing her. “Now go get dressed; your grandma will be here any minute. She said you guys were going to be baking all day and that she’ll make that egg thing you like for breakfast.”
Annie tips her head back and pretends to drool. “Mmmm.”
I wiggle my fingers at her, like I’m getting ready to tickle her sides, and that has her squealing and scampering off towards her bedroom.
I allow myself one minute of sitting in silent reflection, before heading to the kitchen to make protein shakes for Sasha and myself. We both could use the energy boost.
