“Hi, can I please get a refill?” I handed my card and cup to the barista and took a deep breath. I’d woken at six, anxious and nervous, so instead of trying to sleep, I’d grabbed my laptop so I could get some work done while I waited.
It was 7:50 a.m.; I still had ten minutes.
Once I got my drink, I went back to the table by the window and tried concentrating on work.
“Olivia?”
I glanced up and—
“Oh, my God! Hi, Nick.” I smiled, but the truth was that I wanted him to disappear. Colin would be there soon, and seeing those two together might make me so pissed and disgusted by their scheming that it’d ruin everything.
“How are you?” He gave me a big smile, and I wondered if he thought it was funny, the way I’d kissed him. Had he laughed about it with Colin?
“Listen, Nick, I know about the whole switcheroo thing. Colin told me.”
“Oh.” He looked shaken. “Um—”
“Don’t worry, I’m not mad.” I gave him what I hoped was a friendly smile. “I totally get why he did it.”
“Whew.” He gave a little laugh. “It’s really been bugging me, just so you know.”
“No worries.” I cleared my throat. “Let me ask you this, by the way. I totally understand Colin’s reasons, but why did you agree to the whole thing?”
He looked concerned again. “Well—”
“I’m assuming you just felt bad and wanted to protect me from feeling rejected. Like Colin.”
He nodded, happy for the lifeline. “I did. Colin was telling me how you’d been through a lot with losing your job and everything, and he said you were like a sweet, adorably klutzy little puppy and he just didn’t want you to be destroyed by getting stood up.”
“Wow.” Klutzy little puppy. I clenched my fists and simpered, “You’re so nice.”
He lowered his voice and said, “Well, he did have to buy me a bottle of scotch, so I’m not that nice.”
Did he think I’d find that funny?
He leaned down a little closer. “I actually wanted to ask you out after that, but Colin wouldn’t let me. So please don’t be mad that I didn’t call.”
“Really.” I gave an Oscar-worthy performance of a genuine laugh. “You must not have wanted to very badly, if he was able to talk you out of it.”
“Well, I’m asking now.” He looked pleased with his answer. “Can I take you out sometime?”
“Colin not stopping you anymore?”
He grinned. “Let’s just say I’ve figured him out. He claimed you were batshit crazy with a truckload of issues, but I should’ve known he was lying to keep me out of his territory.”
“You do realize that referring to any woman as someone’s territory is offensive, don’t you, Nick?” Batshit crazy. Truckload of issues. I wanted to kick stuff down all of a sudden as rage started blooming inside of me. I’d actually come to terms with my emotions and decided to consider Colin’s apology for the sake of possible true love.
And it was a joke. I was a joke to him, just like I’d always been.
“Whoa.” Nick ran a hand over his beard and said, “I am really sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you, I was just saying that I think Colin was jealous.”
Always with the impeccable timing, Colin walked through the door. He hadn’t seen us yet, and I was physically pained by how handsome he was as he walked inside like a movie star. Those expressive eyes, that mouth that I knew for a fact tasted like blue Altoids 99 percent of the time; it was all for nothing.
A waste of beauty.
The moment he saw me, everything else fell away. His eyes on mine—that was all that existed in the world for a long and extended second. His mouth started to slide into a smile, but then he saw Nick.
He walked over and said, “Nick. Didn’t expect to see you here.”
Nick glanced at me, then at Colin. “Talk about your small worlds.”
I shut my laptop and stuck it in my bag. “Listen, Beck, we’re going to have to do this some other time.”
That got me his full attention. “What?”
I shrugged. “Nick asked me out, and I think I’m going to do that this morning instead. Maybe we’ll connect next week or something.”
“I think Nick means later.” Colin glared at his friend. “Nick is going to take you out later.”
“Whenever you want,” Nick stammered.
“I don’t care what you think Nick means, Colin.” I shimmied out of the booth and lifted my chin. “I want to go out with him now.”
“What is this?” He gestured to both of us and looked irritated. “You guys are talking now?”
“No, no,” Nick said, kissing Colin’s ass so much that I wanted to slug him, too. “I just ran into her.”
I said to Colin, “Our relationship is none of your business.”
“We don’t have a relationship,” Nick laughed, looking at Colin like I was batshit crazy. “Seriously.”
“Oh, my God, can you take your lips off his ass for five seconds?” I rolled my eyes at Nick and said to Colin, “I actually don’t want to go out with him, but I definitely don’t want to talk to you. See you guys later.”
I took two steps before Colin grabbed the strap of my bag and yanked me back. “What happened to talking?”
“I’ve spent a few minutes talking to your buddy Nick here and I’ve learned everything I need to know.”
Colin turned his face to his friend. “What the hell did you say to her?”
Nick’s face went red and he full-on dissolved, lowering his voice and saying to Colin, “I have no idea what’s happening, man. You were right about her because I just stopped by her table to say hi and she lost her shit.”
“I can hear you, you jackass,” I said through gritted teeth.
Colin swallowed and his eyes darted to my face, then back to Nick. “Why don’t you take off and let us talk.”
Nick very nearly sprinted for the door while Colin and I stared each other down.
“Can we sit?” He was still holding on to my strap. “Please?”
I bit my bottom lip before saying, “I don’t think I want to talk.”
His jaw clenched and he raised a hand and touched my chin. “Please?”
I shook my head but wanted to push my face into his warm palm. “I just don’t—”
“I love you.”
Everything went quiet in the world as his words crashed into me. “What?”
He swallowed again, his throat moving hard before he said, “I love you. I know I screwed everything up and I know we were going to keep it casual, but I somehow fell in love with you. I can’t believe it myself, but in spite of our lifetime of hatred for each other, I am completely lost without you in my life.”
Colin
I watched her process it.
Her dark eyebrows crinkled together the way they always did when she was working through something she didn’t quite understand, and she blinked fast. Her green eyes stared into my soul, seeing all of me, and I swear to God I started sweating.
Because—holy shit—what the hell had I just said?
It was one hundred percent true, but I hadn’t even known it myself until the words fell out of my mouth. Dammit if I didn’t feel like someone who’d just been given shocking news. It seemed like time had slowed as she looked at me, and I felt like I was going to lose my shit if she didn’t say something.
Anything.
“You love me.” Her voice was almost a whisper as her eyes darted all over my face.
“Yes.”
“And you can’t believe it yourself?”
“I can’t. I mean, can you?” I put my hands in my jacket pockets to keep from touching her and smiled. “After all this time? It’s pretty crazy.”
She smiled back but I could tell it was fake. Something was wrong. She said, “It is crazy. I mean, Colin Beck falling in love with a batshit-crazy mess like me? Who could ever believe that?”
Ah, shit. “That’s not what I meant.”
She shook her head. “Maybe not, but it is exactly what it is. You fell in ‘love’ in spite of yourself, regardless of everything you know about me. You think you’re in love with me and even you have a hard time believing it.”
“Dammit, Liv—”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Well, then, dammit, Olivia.” I gritted my teeth. “And can you maybe not air quote my feelings like it’s a joke?”
She moved the strap of her bag to the other shoulder. “But it is a joke, Colin. Come on. You don’t love me, just like I don’t love you. We both love good sex and witty banter. That’s all it was.”
I had no idea what to say to that, to her utter disregard for my feelings. “You’re wrong.”
“I’m not.” She pulled her keys out of her coat pocket. “If I didn’t find out about the Wrong Number thing, you would’ve outgrown me by the second time I spilled something in your Audi or wore the wrong shoes to the club.”
“Wow. After everything, you still really think that little of me?” I was surprised her words could make me feel so much shittier than I already did, but I guess I’d never known just how much of an asshole she thought I was. “Um, I guess that about covers everything. Later, then, Marshall.”
I turned to walk out of the coffee shop, and something inside of me died when I heard her quietly say, “Later, then, Beck.”
