“His wings are gray and trailing, Azrael, Angel of Death, And yet the souls that Azrael brings Across the dark and cold, Look up beneath those folded wings, And find them lined with gold” – Robert Gilbert Welsh
X
Friday, August 16th, 2013. 9:30 a.m.
My cell phone buzzes, and I check the message sent by Antonio.
You fucking asshole, what the fuck do you think you’re doing? Where the fuck are you?
I don’t respond, but focus on driving instead. That fucktard has some explaining to do as well. I don’t give a shit if it takes me all day, but I will find out who gave that order. Antonio might be gone from the scene now, but I know where he’s at. His hideout this week isn’t too far away from mine, which is unfortunate for him, but lucky for me. Especially since I didn’t tell him where I’m staying. He won’t be tracking me down, but I’m going after his ass. That son of a bitch better have a good explanation for this or I’m gonna blow his head off too.
When I finally arrive at his wooden cabin I park my car right beside his house and take out my gun before stepping out. I check the area for hidden spies, but discover nothing out of the ordinary. It seems he thinks he can handle me.
Oh, yes, I know he’s waiting for me.
He and I both know we had this coming for us.
Carefully moving toward his cabin, I keep my finger on the trigger. Sweat trickles down my forehead as I knock on the door and quickly move to the side. It opens, but nobody steps out. It surprises me. Not the fact that nobody steps out, but that he actually opened it. We normally run out the back or fire blanks at the door, so this is unusual behavior, even for him.
I take a deep breath before walking inside, gun pointed at every angle of the room, trying to find him. When he pops up from behind the door, I shoot the wood in the wall.
“Jesus Christ, are you insane?” Antonio lowers his gun and places it on the floor.
Grabbing his collar, I lower my gun and shove him against the wall. “Did you arrange this?”
“What? What are you talking about?”
“Her! The girl!” I push my elbow against his throat. “Did you or did you not set me up?”
“No, I have no clue what the fuck you mean. That girl was just an assignment. Nothing more. You blew it, you know that? You fucking blew it,” he scoffs.
“Like I don’t fucking know that.” I let him go and he immediately grabs his throat, rubbing it like he was choked.
“What the fuck were you thinking, huh?” he says after catching his breath. “Waiting while you have a job to do? Taking the girl? Killing our own fucking agents?” His voice gets louder and louder. “You’re in deep shit.”
“I don’t fucking care; she wasn’t part of the plan.”
“What plan? You were supposed to kill her and you ruined it!”
“My plan!” I growl, stepping toward him again. “She is mine. Don’t you dare lay a hand on her.”
“And our agents? You dared lay a hand on them,” he spits. “You know fucking better than that. You don’t know what you got yourself into. They’ll be going after you now. You defied the rules and you murdered some of our own.”
“I don’t give a fuck about them or anyone else!” I point my gun at him again, and he freezes. “Who gave you the order?”
“What’s wrong with you, man? Why do you even care? You were only supposed to kill her. You’ve done all your jobs magnificently until now. What went wrong?”
“What’s wrong is that you went after her.”
“I. didn’t.” He places his hand on the gun. “It wasn’t me who gave the order.”
“Then who did?” I snap.
“Higher up.”
“And?”
“I … We don’t know who the client is. It’s a class nine job. Nobody gets to lay eyes on the details. We were just supposed to take her life and that’s it.”
“Don’t lie to me!” I say through gritted teeth. “You know who it was.” I can tell from the sweat drops rolling down his forehead and the skittishness of his eyes that he’s lying to my face.
“Why is it so important to you? She’s just a girl. What does it matter? If you’d just gotten the job done you wouldn’t be in this mess. I don’t understand why you’re getting yourself into this mess and why you’re going through all this trouble to find out who did it.”
“It doesn’t matter. I told you, she’s mine. She’s not just a girl.”
“Right, but you’re blowing everything … for her.”
“I don’t give a crap about all that. I want to know who the client is. Now tell me who it is!”
“I can’t.”
“TELL ME!” I press the gun into his skin so hard it’s starting to crack. “Or I swear to God I will put a bullet in your head.”
I’m barely able to stop myself from pulling the trigger. This fucker lied to me. He knows who’s behind it and he is keeping it from me. He used to be my friend. Now I know better.
“Okay, okay … I will … Just … calm down, okay?” He holds up his hands, trying to make me feel better about the situation, trying to give me the illusion I’m in control. There is no such thing as control. Only those who are killed and those who kill.
Taking the gun off his forehead, I let him move. He’s slow and careful as I watch him like a hawk, walking toward the safe in the back of his bedroom. Unlocking it is tedious and takes its toll of my patience. “Hurry up!”
“I’m trying …” he murmurs. When a click follows, I push him aside, still keeping the gun on his throat. My eye darts between him and the mobile phone lying on the cold steel bottom of the safe.
“Is that it?”
“Yes, I’m afraid so.” He sighs. “Are you sure? If you do this, there’s no turning back.”
“It’s already too late,” I snap.
He shuts up as I pick up the phone and start scrolling through the names. Somewhere at the bottom is a name associated with the organization. I click his profile and a bunch of his messages pop up. One of the latest ones is a text message from Wednesday, August 14th, 2013. 12:00 p.m. A few minutes later I received a message to kill her. This is the one.
As my working eye scans the message, my lungs stop expanding. My teeth are clenched. I grip the phone so tight, it shatters in my hands.
I step away from Antonio, ready to start this war, but he grabs my arm. “Wait. Stop and think about this for one second.”
“Think about what? I know who’s behind this.”
“So? Does it matter? It doesn’t solve your problems.”
“Killing him does.”
“And then what?” He frowns. “Are you gonna kill everyone who stands in your way?”
“If I have to,” I say, tucking my gun back in its holster.
Antonio squeezes my arm, trying to stop me. “Are you sure? If you do this … it could mean the end. For all of us. For you.”
I glance over my shoulder. “They went after her. That was their first mistake. Involving me was their second mistake. I’m not going to let this go unpunished.” I shake him off.
“I hope you know we can’t let you do that,” Antonio says.
“Oh, I know,” I muse, walking away.
“I’m your friend … I don’t want to have to kill you.”
“What’s done is done, Antonio. I’m following my own path now.”
It’s quiet for a while, but as I open the door he says, “It’ll cost you your life.”
“So be it.”
***
Friday, August 16th, 2013. 11:17 a.m.
My mind is filled with thoughts about killing people. Murdering them in cold blood. Splattering their blood all over the walls and floors. I want people to know I did it, and I want them to know why. I know exactly who I’m going to kill, and I’m already thinking about how I’m going to do it and what tools I’m going to use.
However, when I find Jay in my room with a phone in her hand, I freeze and all thoughts cease to exist.
The phone drops to the floor as she turns around and stares at me in shock. Within a second I pull out my gun, aim for the phone, and shoot.
She shrieks as metallic pieces skyrocket through the room, hitting the furniture. Scrambling away from me as I walk toward her, she runs to the bathroom and closes the door. As if that’s going to stop me. She was fucking calling someone.
I shoot the lock, destroying it in the process, and tear open the door. She’s in the back, hovering close to the showerhead. She picks it up and tries to use it as a weapon. “Don’t come any closer!”
I laugh, march toward her and jerk the showerhead out of her hands, throwing it away. Grabbing her wrist, I drag her out of the bathroom and throw her on the bed. She struggles, but I keep her down with my body. There are metal cuffs attached to my bed that I installed myself and are there for a very specific reason, and I intend to use them right now.
I force her wrists inside and close the lock, taking the key, and then I flip her body around.
“What are you doing?”
“You disobeyed me,” I growl.
She whimpers as I move down to her legs, spreading them wide, and restrain her ankles too.
“You called someone. Did I give you permission to do that?” I tear off her panties, making her squeal. “Answer me!”
“No.”
“Then why did you do it? Do you like defying my orders?”
I smack her ass with a flat hand. Her squeal is raw. It’s like honey to me.
“I told you not to anger me.”
“I’m sorry,” she whines. “I won’t do it again.”
“Damn right you won’t.” I smack the other ass cheek as well. Her squeal is a little less high this time, but still very appetizing to hear.
“I also told you to get out of these clothes. You didn’t. You have to be punished.”
“What?” she gasps, lifting her head.
I move to her side and push her head down in the pillow. “Don’t … look at me.”
Fury is coursing through my veins, but it’s not just her I’m angry about. She defied me, yes, but what I found in that cabin was far, far worse than I could have imagined. She’s the one to pay for it now.
I know just the way. I don’t intend to take her body unless she willingly offers it to me. Otherwise it’s not a victory. No, I will make her see what she’s done. Make her see the errors in her ways.
I slip off the bed and take off my jacket, draping it over the chair near the door. She turns her head and looks at me. “What are you doing?”
“Waiting.”
“For what?”
“For the one you just called.”
Her eyes widen, and it makes me smile. Oh, how I love seeing the dread in her eyes. She knows what’s coming.
I take off my holster and place it on the chair. Then I slowly unbuckle my belt, slipping it out of the knots as she blinks. This is going to be fun.
***
Jay
Friday, August 16th, 2013. 11:25 a.m.
“Twenty.”
He makes me count each time his hand comes down. When I don’t count along properly, I have to begin again. He said he won’t stop until I reach his number. Whatever number that may be. I’ve lost count many times. Sometimes I think it’s because of the fact that I’m a prisoner on this bed. Sometimes I think it’s because I’m actually starting to like it.
I’m losing it. I’m losing myself. My freedom. My body.
He’s claimed it all.
Even when I say he didn’t, I know he did. I’m lying to myself when I say I hate this. My body has begun to adjust itself to his touch. When his hand strikes, I no longer feel pain. All I feel is release. Release from the fear, the anxiety, the regret. I can let go and let myself be in the moment. I don’t know why it has this effect on me.
He grabs the belt that was draped over the chair and folds it. My heartbeat rises as he steps closer. I can already feel the leather before it hits my ass. It burns and stings, but at the same time sets all my nerves on fire. It courses through my body like lightning, zinging on my skin. Even my pussy seems to come alive because of it.
I don’t want it to, but I have no control. Not anymore.
His strikes are fast and wicked like the way he grins. I take the time to look him in the eye as he does this, showing him that I don’t intend to give up, even if my body has. I know it’s betrayed me, because I can feel my clit responding to the lashes. It’s not a beating, but a punishment, and I realize that this is what he wanted. He wanted me to feel this way. This is his way of making me feel bad, because he knows I’ll feel ashamed of my body. He won’t damage his property; he just wants to make me feel.
And in this moment I realize he makes me feel because he doesn’t want to feel. He’s escaping his own emotions by forcing them upon me.
I won’t give it to him. I refuse to be his puppet. He can have my body. I’ve dropped the idea that I’ll ever get that back. However, he won’t have my heart and mind. I won’t allow it.
“Hmmm …” He groans as his hand slips over my ass. “Red … it’s such a nice color … it suits you well.”
His hand moves from my ass to my back, sliding all the way up to my shoulder as he stands in front of me. “Can you see how much I love watching you like this?”
He bucks his hips, showing me the bulge in his pants. I try to turn my head, but he grabs my chin and forces me to look at him.
“You don’t get to turn away.”
He leans in and presses his damp lips on mine. I don’t resist. I don’t have the energy and I know it’s useless. I’m under his command, and the only thing I can do is do as he says. If I let him think he has me under his thumb, he’ll get easier with me, and maybe I’ll get the opportunity to slip away then. Gain his trust before betraying it. But in order to do that, I have to give him what he wants, and what he wants is me.
So I give in to his lips and let him kiss me. At first I’m scared, repulsed, but as the seconds pass I notice a change. He’s softer and gentle, his lips slowly coaxing me to open my mouth. He’s much nicer to me now that I’m more willing, and it’s a relief. That, and I recognize something.
This kiss, it feels so familiar, and yet I don’t know why.
How can you recognize something you’ve never felt before? Was he speaking the truth when he said he knew me? Have I really forgotten it all?
But this kiss is so … soothing … and that’s so wrong. Why do I feel this way? How is it that I feel relieved by his kiss? It makes no sense, and it pisses me off.
He retreats and licks his lips with a look in his eye that screams ‘I want to fuck you.’ But then he smiles and wipes his thumb along my lips. “Angry, little bird?”
“Hardly,” I say, as blandly as I can. Angry is what he’s looking for. I won’t give him that satisfaction.
“You say that, but you don’t mean it. In fact, you hate it that your body loves this.”
“I do not.”
“I disagree.” He slides his hand along my spine, following the curves of my body until he reaches my ass, and then he slips down my thighs. His hand is between my legs, feeling the warmth.
A devious smile appears on his face. “I can tell when a woman likes pain.”
I clench my teeth, because I want to say ‘fuck you,’ but I know that’ll only give him more strength. If I stop fighting him, I can give him the illusion that he’s won.
He starts spanking me again. I hiss from the pain. After he passes thirty, he stops. It feels like my body is in shock, numb from the pain. Numb from delirium. The mattress dents under his weight as he steps onto the bed. The belt lands on my ass cheeks again, but this time it’s soft. With it X caresses me, sliding it up toward my back. But then he wraps it around my neck.
I choke as he pulls my head back while he kneels on top of me, almost sitting down on my back. “Have you learned your lesson, little bird?”
“Yes …” I gargle.
“I can’t hear you.”
“Yes!” I wheeze.
“Good.” His low voice hums in my ear as he hovers close. “Don’t forget who owns you now. Every inch of you is mine. I possess your body, your mind, and your soul.”
He jerks the belt over my head again, freeing me from the constraint around my neck. I cough and slurp in the air like a junkie craving drugs. I am an addict. Not just for coke, but for my life too. And now it’s all in his hands.
X unlocks the cuffs around my wrists while still sitting on top of me. I can’t move, even if I try. His hands slide from my arms down my body, so gentle that it surprises me. His fingers curl around my stomach, and he turns me around underneath him. The first thing I see is his scar. The burned skin around his fake eye. The hideous lash marks left on his face.
I hate the way he stares at me, so blank, so emotionless. His face hovers right in front of mine, so close I can feel his breath on my skin.
Then he locks my hands in the cuffs again. Adrenaline shoots through my body, heating me up, preparing me for the pain. With his hands still on my wrists, he comes closer and closer, his lips right above mine. I close my eyes, waiting for him to do as he wishes.
“Open your eyes, Jay. Look at me just as I have looked at you all these years.”
My eyes burst open.
“Yes, Jay … Hate me. Loathe me. Despise me.” He bites his lip. “Can you feel the burn from my hand and belt on your ass? Can you?” His command is harsh and loud.
I nod quickly, blinking away the tears as he comes even closer.
“Live the pain just like I have. Learn to love it, just like I was forced to.” His tongue darts out to lick my upper lip like a snake scenting the air. “Hmmm …” His eye rolls back into his head. “You smell of fear.” When his head turns back to me goose bumps riddle my body. “Love it.”
Suddenly a phone rings. I jolt up from the scare. A smirk quirks up on X’s face, as if he’s just been handed sweet candy.
He pushes himself off me and rummages in the jacket hanging from the chair. He fishes out a cell phone and takes the call. “Yes? Oh, the girl is here?” X glances at me, smiling when my eyes widen. “Good. Tell her to come up. I’ve been waiting for her.” He puts the phone back into the pocket of his jacket, all while keeping his eye on me.
“What are you going to do to her?” I ask.
He cocks his head and pauses. “I don’t know. I haven’t decided yet.” His lips curl up into a wicked smile. “You know, I have this amazing new toy, I call it the mini-chainsaw.”
Bile rises in my throat, but I swallow it down. “Are you fucking nuts?”
“Yes, hadn’t we established that already?” he muses as he walks to the window.
“You can’t do that! She’s my friend,” I say.
He fishes a key from his pocket and unlocks the handle, opening it. The cold breeze makes me shiver. He opens it wide.
“What are you doing?”
“You look a bit ill, Jay. You could do with some air.”
When there’s a knock on the door, his face darkens. His eye blazes with a devilish fire. He marches toward the door while I struggle with my bonds, trying to free myself. As he opens the door, horror settles in my eyes, but also hers.
“You?” Hannah stammers.
“Yes, me.” X grabs both her arms and pulls her inside, slamming the door behind her.
“Please, X, no!” I scream as he drags her through the room.
“Let me go!” Hannah screams. “What are you doing? I did nothing wrong! We had a deal.”
X’s brows lower. “The deal is cancelled.”
Deal? What deal?
“What? You can’t do that!” Hannah snaps.
“Oh, but I can.”
He pushes her toward the other end of the room. She isn’t strong enough to fight back. Just like me, she’s left to his mercy. “No! Don’t do this, please. Don’t hurt her,” I beg, trying to make the blow softer.
However, nothing, nothing, prepares me for the shock.
He shoves her out of the window and steps aside, closing it before I can hear her body splatter on the ground.
